FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > It's early & I'm pondering
It's early & I'm pondering
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"I don’t know, I find it a bit weird too. But what I would say about blaming other people., I seem to be apologising for taking the blame for peoples past experiences. If that makes sense. How many times I can see somebody’s apprehensive because of the last bloke they were with., so do I blame them? I’m not so sure. I don’t blame anyone else to look at my success in anything, normally it’s my motivation to actually get something done that stops me changing, something that doesn’t work (Fab are real life?) it’s up to me. But on Fab is there anything I should do?, I just tried to be me if people don’t like me, that’s not me me thing, we just wouldn’t get on. "Being you is the best thing you can do, you are one of the gentleman, the male version of me, I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing. 
Mrs | |||
"Sometimes it is other people's fault claiming they are a couple but when it comes to the actual meet only the male can make it or messaging other couple for awhile and arranged a meet to then be ignored a day or two before " I get that it's a tricky one but is it their fault or the couple not using their due diligence and checking prior to the meet that they are infact a real couple? Personally I'd always speak to both man & women before even considering a meet. Mrs | |||
Many years here next no meets or clubs (yet ) is everyone here there own tastes and requirements and each to there own ..
Love a polite no thank you and hsppy to park it there ..... | |||
"I'm personally responsible for not having a meet off this site this past year I literally have sent maybe 10 messages (if that) I genuinely can't be arsed with the chase these days but thats totally on me and I'll own it Don't think anyone likes to admit it may be down to themselves personally could be many factors as to why some people aren't having success on here rather than the obvious profile or people that might not want to attend clubs " See now this is much better, same for us, we don't have pussy on tap
We don't search meets, we don't message people, we don't put effort into finding people so that's on us! When we do put the effort in we have met some amazing people.
Mrs | |||
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"Isn’t what you’ve articulated “standard” behaviour these days? Irrespective of Fab? Far too many people thinking the world owes them a living, why can’t I dance on tik tok and earn a million, I’m not doing this for that money, why has she got when I haven’t etc etc. Of course, Fab is microcosm of the swinging scene, far too many people think it’s the be all and end all hence the complaints at lack of success. Agree, you do need more sleep "It probably is standard although I don't see people on normal social media post "why didn't I get 500 likes is it because my left ball isn't smooth" which is what we get on here. Mrs | |||
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"If Fab was a honest place how different would it look ??? .. I am honest to my detriment. " This is a key point actually, honesty is detrimental on Fab, yet it’s what most of us seek surely? | |||
"I'm personally responsible for not having a meet off this site this past year I literally have sent maybe 10 messages (if that) I genuinely can't be arsed with the chase these days but thats totally on me and I'll own it Don't think anyone likes to admit it may be down to themselves personally could be many factors as to why some people aren't having success on here rather than the obvious profile or people that might not want to attend clubs See now this is much better, same for us, we don't have pussy on tap
We don't search meets, we don't message people, we don't put effort into finding people so that's on us! When we do put the effort in we have met some amazing people.
Mrs "Essentially the same here may have a few on call if really needed, I've had meets easy when first joined tbf I did actually put a wee bit effort into messages then, I would say you do have put more effort in on here than any other site that's out there heck even fb dating a quick match up and a hey you can get a meet in no time wich might play a part in my lack of effort here that and most people have nice tits and a arse etc  | |||
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"I …..anything I should do?, I just tried to be me if people don’t like me, that’s not me me thing, we just wouldn’t get on.
Being you is the best thing you can do, you are one of the gentleman, the male version of me, I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing.
Mrs "Stay with it’s a good thing, that way I can stay deluded. | |||
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"Why is it always someone else's fault? The many posts blaming others for their lack of meets & success on this site, why is it others are to blame for people not getting fucked, I mean I've heard it all. My dick isn't big enough all women want huge dicks! I'm not muscular enough women want muscles. I'm not rich enough. I don't drive a good enough car. I'm not verified and people only fuck the verified. It absolutely baffles me, none of those above matter in the slightest, but of course it's easier to blame others. At what point do you look at your profile and think maybe I am not doing something right, maybe I need to change something? Make an effort, pop along to a social or club & hey verified. Or just the realisation that the majority won't jump to fuck anyone because we like to be attracted to not only looks but the person too & that sleezy message was just so cringe it was an immediate no. Why is it people can't take responsibility for themselves? Or their unrealistic expectations? Genuinely curious to people's thoughts. I need more sleep! Mrs " its easier to blame someone else and don't forget if you accept that its your fault its a dent to your self worth and we can't have that can we | |||
"Basically, egos. Men and women. " Totally agree it's some of the men, women, couples etc I just find it fascinating. Mrs | |||
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"I’d argue some of the things you listed do matter, and you thinking they don’t shows why you can’t understand the frustration that breeds a victim mentality" It all really boils down to choice though. No one is a victim because no crime has been committed, no one is missing out on anything owed to them and no one is entitled to another persons body jist because they want it. Being told no doesn't make you a victim. Because you want something doesn't mean you are entitled to it nor does another person have to provide it to you. MrsAbz | |||
"I’d argue some of the things you listed do matter, and you thinking they don’t shows why you can’t understand the frustration that breeds a victim mentality It all really boils down to choice though. No one is a victim because no crime has been committed, no one is missing out on anything owed to them and no one is entitled to another persons body jist because they want it. Being told no doesn't make you a victim. Because you want something doesn't mean you are entitled to it nor does another person have to provide it to you. MrsAbz" Partly agree, but they listed things that do matter, and said they don’t matter in the slightest No ones entitled to anything, but if you look at a guy that’s 5’3 with a small penis and think everything’s his fault, I think your just naive or lack empathy. Clearly some things matter that aren’t in people’s control | |||
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"I think, prehaps, a number of people join this site because they are desperate for sex. Therefore, they think everyone else joined because they are desperate to get laid. To them, it then doesn't make any sense why they aren't receiving messages begging for their genitals nor are they receiving an enthusiastic "omg, when can we meet, tonight?" to their sent messages. They become bitter because everyone here is desperate for a fuck (good or not) and they aren't getting any! So rather than take a look at their own attitude and rethinking about their expectations, they complain and moan. MrsAbz" | |||
"If Fab was a honest place how different would it look ??? .. I am honest to my detriment. This is a key point actually, honesty is detrimental on Fab, yet it’s what most of us seek surely? "It can be detrimental but it is appreciated. I wish one guy I met was honest instead of the limbo and games he's been playing for years. | |||
"I’d argue some of the things you listed do matter, and you thinking they don’t shows why you can’t understand the frustration that breeds a victim mentality It all really boils down to choice though. No one is a victim because no crime has been committed, no one is missing out on anything owed to them and no one is entitled to another persons body jist because they want it. Being told no doesn't make you a victim. Because you want something doesn't mean you are entitled to it nor does another person have to provide it to you. MrsAbz Partly agree, but they listed things that do matter, and said they don’t matter in the slightest No ones entitled to anything, but if you look at a guy that’s 5’3 with a small penis and think everything’s his fault, I think your just naive or lack empathy. Clearly some things matter that aren’t in people’s control " That is fair comment. It also applies to women though - large bodied with small boobs and an unconvential face? Nowhere near as easy as someone with standardised beauty traits. Then again, I don't think it is anyones "fault" for being the way they are but they do need to look at society and accept that some things aren't going to be easy and prehaps lowered expectations would be advisable. Unfortunately it is just the way life is, some have and some have not. MrsAbz Ps I do enjoy a debate with you, we've had before
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"It's a site full of sex reviews, sex menus stating what sex they offer. Pics of gaping arseholes, gaping cunts, bare tits, dripping cocks, red scuffed up genitals of all kinds. People are fucking all over the place. WHY WON'T THEY FUCK ME???" We do agree so often
MrsAbz | |||
"I’d argue some of the things you listed do matter, and you thinking they don’t shows why you can’t understand the frustration that breeds a victim mentality It all really boils down to choice though. No one is a victim because no crime has been committed, no one is missing out on anything owed to them and no one is entitled to another persons body jist because they want it. Being told no doesn't make you a victim. Because you want something doesn't mean you are entitled to it nor does another person have to provide it to you. MrsAbz Partly agree, but they listed things that do matter, and said they don’t matter in the slightest No ones entitled to anything, but if you look at a guy that’s 5’3 with a small penis and think everything’s his fault, I think your just naive or lack empathy. Clearly some things matter that aren’t in people’s control That is fair comment. It also applies to women though - large bodied with small boobs and an unconvential face? Nowhere near as easy as someone with standardised beauty traits. Then again, I don't think it is anyones "fault" for being the way they are but they do need to look at society and accept that some things aren't going to be easy and prehaps lowered expectations would be advisable. Unfortunately it is just the way life is, some have and some have not. MrsAbz Ps I do enjoy a debate with you, we've had before
"Absolutely, women too, no denying that Not placing blame, or fault, or saying anyone should meet anyone Purely taking issue with the “it doesn’t matter in the slightest” I think it’s brain dead, especially as a woman on here, to sit on your high horse claiming nothing matters, everything’s your fault Imagine some poor disabled guy on here reading that? We hate to admit it, but you receive a message from a wheelchair bound guy, most people are going to say no thanks purely because of his disability. But according to this post, it’s his fault, he’s just entitled and needs a better profile It’s ironic because this post reeks of entitlement. | |||
"I’d argue some of the things you listed do matter, and you thinking they don’t shows why you can’t understand the frustration that breeds a victim mentality" I'm sure they do matter so a few but not the majority as other forum posts on all the things I've listed have shown. Mrs | |||
"I’d argue some of the things you listed do matter, and you thinking they don’t shows why you can’t understand the frustration that breeds a victim mentality It all really boils down to choice though. No one is a victim because no crime has been committed, no one is missing out on anything owed to them and no one is entitled to another persons body jist because they want it. Being told no doesn't make you a victim. Because you want something doesn't mean you are entitled to it nor does another person have to provide it to you. MrsAbz Partly agree, but they listed things that do matter, and said they don’t matter in the slightest No ones entitled to anything, but if you look at a guy that’s 5’3 with a small penis and think everything’s his fault, I think your just naive or lack empathy. Clearly some things matter that aren’t in people’s control That is fair comment. It also applies to women though - large bodied with small boobs and an unconvential face? Nowhere near as easy as someone with standardised beauty traits. Then again, I don't think it is anyones "fault" for being the way they are but they do need to look at society and accept that some things aren't going to be easy and prehaps lowered expectations would be advisable. Unfortunately it is just the way life is, some have and some have not. MrsAbz Ps I do enjoy a debate with you, we've had before
Absolutely, women too, no denying that
Not placing blame, or fault, or saying anyone should meet anyone
Purely taking issue with the “it doesn’t matter in the slightest”
I think it’s brain dead, especially as a woman on here, to sit on your high horse claiming nothing matters, everything’s your fault
Imagine some poor disabled guy on here reading that? We hate to admit it, but you receive a message from a wheelchair bound guy, most people are going to say no thanks purely because of his disability. But according to this post, it’s his fault, he’s just entitled and needs a better profile
It’s ironic because this post reeks of entitlement."I'd love to see where on this post I've stated it's his fault? And why would that reduce his chances, that's your opinion and mine is it wouldn't matter. No one is a victim as stated above no crime has been committed. If the 5ft 3 tiny cock guy messaged people looking for huge cocks then yeah he's not getting action, if he messaged people looking for smaller cocks and into that then yeah he's much bigger change of getting a meet, and yes some people do as for average/smaller cocks. Picking your audience is half the battle, many will message everyone in a 50 mile radius regardless and wonder why no response. I wouldn't message people looking for "bbw" because I don't fit that category and if I did message I'd expect no response, that doesn't make me a victim because I'm not their type. Mrs | |||
"I’d argue some of the things you listed do matter, and you thinking they don’t shows why you can’t understand the frustration that breeds a victim mentality It all really boils down to choice though. No one is a victim because no crime has been committed, no one is missing out on anything owed to them and no one is entitled to another persons body jist because they want it. Being told no doesn't make you a victim. Because you want something doesn't mean you are entitled to it nor does another person have to provide it to you. MrsAbz Partly agree, but they listed things that do matter, and said they don’t matter in the slightest No ones entitled to anything, but if you look at a guy that’s 5’3 with a small penis and think everything’s his fault, I think your just naive or lack empathy. Clearly some things matter that aren’t in people’s control That is fair comment. It also applies to women though - large bodied with small boobs and an unconvential face? Nowhere near as easy as someone with standardised beauty traits. Then again, I don't think it is anyones "fault" for being the way they are but they do need to look at society and accept that some things aren't going to be easy and prehaps lowered expectations would be advisable. Unfortunately it is just the way life is, some have and some have not. MrsAbz Ps I do enjoy a debate with you, we've had before
Absolutely, women too, no denying that
Not placing blame, or fault, or saying anyone should meet anyone
Purely taking issue with the “it doesn’t matter in the slightest”
I think it’s brain dead, especially as a woman on here, to sit on your high horse claiming nothing matters, everything’s your fault
Imagine some poor disabled guy on here reading that? We hate to admit it, but you receive a message from a wheelchair bound guy, most people are going to say no thanks purely because of his disability. But according to this post, it’s his fault, he’s just entitled and needs a better profile
It’s ironic because this post reeks of entitlement."I don't think the original post was entitled, at least it didn't read that way to me. It was merely expressing a confusion as to why people blame others for their own lack of success on fab. It is still not anyones fault - not the person wanting a meet nor the person declining it. It just is the way of life. As I agreed, there are those in life who will struggle more than others due to looks. Which is then odd to me that someone would join a site, which no matter how you look at it, is predominately based on physical looks and attributes. Surely that is setting yourself up for failure? MrsAbz | |||
"I’d argue some of the things you listed do matter, and you thinking they don’t shows why you can’t understand the frustration that breeds a victim mentality It all really boils down to choice though. No one is a victim because no crime has been committed, no one is missing out on anything owed to them and no one is entitled to another persons body jist because they want it. Being told no doesn't make you a victim. Because you want something doesn't mean you are entitled to it nor does another person have to provide it to you. MrsAbz Partly agree, but they listed things that do matter, and said they don’t matter in the slightest No ones entitled to anything, but if you look at a guy that’s 5’3 with a small penis and think everything’s his fault, I think your just naive or lack empathy. Clearly some things matter that aren’t in people’s control That is fair comment. It also applies to women though - large bodied with small boobs and an unconvential face? Nowhere near as easy as someone with standardised beauty traits. Then again, I don't think it is anyones "fault" for being the way they are but they do need to look at society and accept that some things aren't going to be easy and prehaps lowered expectations would be advisable. Unfortunately it is just the way life is, some have and some have not. MrsAbz Ps I do enjoy a debate with you, we've had before
Absolutely, women too, no denying that
Not placing blame, or fault, or saying anyone should meet anyone
Purely taking issue with the “it doesn’t matter in the slightest”
I think it’s brain dead, especially as a woman on here, to sit on your high horse claiming nothing matters, everything’s your fault
Imagine some poor disabled guy on here reading that? We hate to admit it, but you receive a message from a wheelchair bound guy, most people are going to say no thanks purely because of his disability. But according to this post, it’s his fault, he’s just entitled and needs a better profile
It’s ironic because this post reeks of entitlement.
I don't think the original post was entitled, at least it didn't read that way to me. It was merely expressing a confusion as to why people blame others for their own lack of success on fab.
It is still not anyones fault - not the person wanting a meet nor the person declining it. It just is the way of life.
As I agreed, there are those in life who will struggle more than others due to looks.
Which is then odd to me that someone would join a site, which no matter how you look at it, is predominately based on physical looks and attributes. Surely that is setting yourself up for failure?
MrsAbz
"It’s entitled because it’s a woman on a couples profile, arguably the easiest position to be in on fabs. Looking down at others saying “why are you struggling? Stop complaining” It’s the equivalent of the queen looking at the peasants from her castle and saying “have you tried not being poor?” And I think many men join here out of desperation. No options anywhere else, try this | |||
"I’d argue some of the things you listed do matter, and you thinking they don’t shows why you can’t understand the frustration that breeds a victim mentality It all really boils down to choice though. No one is a victim because no crime has been committed, no one is missing out on anything owed to them and no one is entitled to another persons body jist because they want it. Being told no doesn't make you a victim. Because you want something doesn't mean you are entitled to it nor does another person have to provide it to you. MrsAbz Partly agree, but they listed things that do matter, and said they don’t matter in the slightest No ones entitled to anything, but if you look at a guy that’s 5’3 with a small penis and think everything’s his fault, I think your just naive or lack empathy. Clearly some things matter that aren’t in people’s control That is fair comment. It also applies to women though - large bodied with small boobs and an unconvential face? Nowhere near as easy as someone with standardised beauty traits. Then again, I don't think it is anyones "fault" for being the way they are but they do need to look at society and accept that some things aren't going to be easy and prehaps lowered expectations would be advisable. Unfortunately it is just the way life is, some have and some have not. MrsAbz Ps I do enjoy a debate with you, we've had before
Absolutely, women too, no denying that
Not placing blame, or fault, or saying anyone should meet anyone
Purely taking issue with the “it doesn’t matter in the slightest”
I think it’s brain dead, especially as a woman on here, to sit on your high horse claiming nothing matters, everything’s your fault
Imagine some poor disabled guy on here reading that? We hate to admit it, but you receive a message from a wheelchair bound guy, most people are going to say no thanks purely because of his disability. But according to this post, it’s his fault, he’s just entitled and needs a better profile
It’s ironic because this post reeks of entitlement.
I don't think the original post was entitled, at least it didn't read that way to me. It was merely expressing a confusion as to why people blame others for their own lack of success on fab.
It is still not anyones fault - not the person wanting a meet nor the person declining it. It just is the way of life.
As I agreed, there are those in life who will struggle more than others due to looks.
Which is then odd to me that someone would join a site, which no matter how you look at it, is predominately based on physical looks and attributes. Surely that is setting yourself up for failure?
MrsAbz
It’s entitled because it’s a woman on a couples profile, arguably the easiest position to be in on fabs. Looking down at others saying “why are you struggling? Stop complaining”
It’s the equivalent of the queen looking at the peasants from her castle and saying “have you tried not being poor?”
And I think many men join here out of desperation. No options anywhere else, try this " the fact you think a woman on a couples profile has the easiest position on fab is laughable.
You may not agree but not ALL women care about cock size, verifications, money, muscles or cars which is what I wrote, the main posts in the forums from people moaning about their lack meets.
How is that an equivalent of a queen looking from her castle 
Haha women in couples the easiest...... I almost spat my coffee out.
Mrs | |||
" It absolutely baffles me, none of those above matter in the slightest Mrs " | |||
" It absolutely baffles me, none of those above matter in the slightest Mrs " Am I not allowed to not let any of that matter to ME in the slightest?? Look back through the forum posts you'll also see that it doesn't matter to MANY in the slightest either, yes to some, not to ME! Hence asking for opinions of others. Mrs | |||
" It absolutely baffles me, none of those above matter in the slightest Mrs Am I not allowed to not let any of that matter to ME in the slightest?? Look back through the forum posts you'll also see that it doesn't matter to MANY in the slightest either, yes to some, not to ME! Hence asking for opinions of others. Mrs " I can only go off what you write You didn’t write it doesn’t matter to you You were making a bigger, general point Just own it. | |||
"I’d argue some of the things you listed do matter, and you thinking they don’t shows why you can’t understand the frustration that breeds a victim mentality It all really boils down to choice though. No one is a victim because no crime has been committed, no one is missing out on anything owed to them and no one is entitled to another persons body jist because they want it. Being told no doesn't make you a victim. Because you want something doesn't mean you are entitled to it nor does another person have to provide it to you. MrsAbz Partly agree, but they listed things that do matter, and said they don’t matter in the slightest No ones entitled to anything, but if you look at a guy that’s 5’3 with a small penis and think everything’s his fault, I think your just naive or lack empathy. Clearly some things matter that aren’t in people’s control " Horlicks. I've seen small guys being very popular in clubs, not everything revolves around penis penetration. After all it's not what you have got, it's what you make of what you have got. | |||
" It absolutely baffles me, none of those above matter in the slightest Mrs Am I not allowed to not let any of that matter to ME in the slightest?? Look back through the forum posts you'll also see that it doesn't matter to MANY in the slightest either, yes to some, not to ME! Hence asking for opinions of others. Mrs I can only go off what you write You didn’t write it doesn’t matter to you You were making a bigger, general point Just own it. " My post, from my mind, of course I'm writing about me, those that disagree will note that, those that agree will note that too, hence asking others opinions as I gave mine. You are not telling me what I think or what I like, prefer or question is wrong, you are in no place to question my mind. Mrs | |||
"I’d argue some of the things you listed do matter, and you thinking they don’t shows why you can’t understand the frustration that breeds a victim mentality It all really boils down to choice though. No one is a victim because no crime has been committed, no one is missing out on anything owed to them and no one is entitled to another persons body jist because they want it. Being told no doesn't make you a victim. Because you want something doesn't mean you are entitled to it nor does another person have to provide it to you. MrsAbz Partly agree, but they listed things that do matter, and said they don’t matter in the slightest No ones entitled to anything, but if you look at a guy that’s 5’3 with a small penis and think everything’s his fault, I think your just naive or lack empathy. Clearly some things matter that aren’t in people’s control Horlicks. I've seen small guys being very popular in clubs, not everything revolves around penis penetration. After all it's not what you have got, it's what you make of what you have got." Exactly, my own profile shows it doesn't matter to me either. Mrs | |||
"I’d argue some of the things you listed do matter, and you thinking they don’t shows why you can’t understand the frustration that breeds a victim mentality It all really boils down to choice though. No one is a victim because no crime has been committed, no one is missing out on anything owed to them and no one is entitled to another persons body jist because they want it. Being told no doesn't make you a victim. Because you want something doesn't mean you are entitled to it nor does another person have to provide it to you. MrsAbz Partly agree, but they listed things that do matter, and said they don’t matter in the slightest No ones entitled to anything, but if you look at a guy that’s 5’3 with a small penis and think everything’s his fault, I think your just naive or lack empathy. Clearly some things matter that aren’t in people’s control That is fair comment. It also applies to women though - large bodied with small boobs and an unconvential face? Nowhere near as easy as someone with standardised beauty traits. Then again, I don't think it is anyones "fault" for being the way they are but they do need to look at society and accept that some things aren't going to be easy and prehaps lowered expectations would be advisable. Unfortunately it is just the way life is, some have and some have not. MrsAbz Ps I do enjoy a debate with you, we've had before
Absolutely, women too, no denying that
Not placing blame, or fault, or saying anyone should meet anyone
Purely taking issue with the “it doesn’t matter in the slightest”
I think it’s brain dead, especially as a woman on here, to sit on your high horse claiming nothing matters, everything’s your fault
Imagine some poor disabled guy on here reading that? We hate to admit it, but you receive a message from a wheelchair bound guy, most people are going to say no thanks purely because of his disability. But according to this post, it’s his fault, he’s just entitled and needs a better profile
It’s ironic because this post reeks of entitlement.
I don't think the original post was entitled, at least it didn't read that way to me. It was merely expressing a confusion as to why people blame others for their own lack of success on fab.
It is still not anyones fault - not the person wanting a meet nor the person declining it. It just is the way of life.
As I agreed, there are those in life who will struggle more than others due to looks.
Which is then odd to me that someone would join a site, which no matter how you look at it, is predominately based on physical looks and attributes. Surely that is setting yourself up for failure?
MrsAbz
It’s entitled because it’s a woman on a couples profile, arguably the easiest position to be in on fabs. Looking down at others saying “why are you struggling? Stop complaining”
It’s the equivalent of the queen looking at the peasants from her castle and saying “have you tried not being poor?”
And I think many men join here out of desperation. No options anywhere else, try this "So then you must agree - the frustration comes from assuming this site is just a bunch of sex starved people who will fuck anyone and that means they feel they are entitled to a fuck from anyone they choose. No matter how you look at it, those people are frustrated but it literally isn't anyones fault. It is the way life goes but blaming others for not choosing to be with them is wrong. Prehaps it seems pointless to suggest improvements to profiles or opening lines in messages but what else is one supposed to say? "Well, sorry my friend, but you are never gonna get a meet. Give up. Go home. Have a wank". Surely it is expressing empathy by trying to help them increase their chances as much as possible with pointers on how to do that? Also, as a the woman half of a couple, it isn't easy. Couples are villified on here to the max. I do not fit standard beauty etc and what we are looking for is the same as hundreds of others. The difference being for me/us - we are not desperate for it nor frustrated that it takes time. Plus I don't actively seek out people and do not, therefore, suffer rejection repeatedly. MrsAbz | |||
"I’d argue some of the things you listed do matter, and you thinking they don’t shows why you can’t understand the frustration that breeds a victim mentality It all really boils down to choice though. No one is a victim because no crime has been committed, no one is missing out on anything owed to them and no one is entitled to another persons body jist because they want it. Being told no doesn't make you a victim. Because you want something doesn't mean you are entitled to it nor does another person have to provide it to you. MrsAbz Partly agree, but they listed things that do matter, and said they don’t matter in the slightest No ones entitled to anything, but if you look at a guy that’s 5’3 with a small penis and think everything’s his fault, I think your just naive or lack empathy. Clearly some things matter that aren’t in people’s control Horlicks. I've seen small guys being very popular in clubs, not everything revolves around penis penetration. After all it's not what you have got, it's what you make of what you have got." Absolutely, I’m against the “it doesn’t matter in the slightest” part Do a search for women and couples. About a third have some kind of specific height/cock size/race only preference The idea that it doesn’t matter in the slightest is proven wrong with a quick search on here | |||
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"I’d argue some of the things you listed do matter, and you thinking they don’t shows why you can’t understand the frustration that breeds a victim mentality It all really boils down to choice though. No one is a victim because no crime has been committed, no one is missing out on anything owed to them and no one is entitled to another persons body jist because they want it. Being told no doesn't make you a victim. Because you want something doesn't mean you are entitled to it nor does another person have to provide it to you. MrsAbz Partly agree, but they listed things that do matter, and said they don’t matter in the slightest No ones entitled to anything, but if you look at a guy that’s 5’3 with a small penis and think everything’s his fault, I think your just naive or lack empathy. Clearly some things matter that aren’t in people’s control That is fair comment. It also applies to women though - large bodied with small boobs and an unconvential face? Nowhere near as easy as someone with standardised beauty traits. Then again, I don't think it is anyones "fault" for being the way they are but they do need to look at society and accept that some things aren't going to be easy and prehaps lowered expectations would be advisable. Unfortunately it is just the way life is, some have and some have not. MrsAbz Ps I do enjoy a debate with you, we've had before
Absolutely, women too, no denying that
Not placing blame, or fault, or saying anyone should meet anyone
Purely taking issue with the “it doesn’t matter in the slightest”
I think it’s brain dead, especially as a woman on here, to sit on your high horse claiming nothing matters, everything’s your fault
Imagine some poor disabled guy on here reading that? We hate to admit it, but you receive a message from a wheelchair bound guy, most people are going to say no thanks purely because of his disability. But according to this post, it’s his fault, he’s just entitled and needs a better profile
It’s ironic because this post reeks of entitlement.
I don't think the original post was entitled, at least it didn't read that way to me. It was merely expressing a confusion as to why people blame others for their own lack of success on fab.
It is still not anyones fault - not the person wanting a meet nor the person declining it. It just is the way of life.
As I agreed, there are those in life who will struggle more than others due to looks.
Which is then odd to me that someone would join a site, which no matter how you look at it, is predominately based on physical looks and attributes. Surely that is setting yourself up for failure?
MrsAbz
It’s entitled because it’s a woman on a couples profile, arguably the easiest position to be in on fabs. Looking down at others saying “why are you struggling? Stop complaining”
It’s the equivalent of the queen looking at the peasants from her castle and saying “have you tried not being poor?”
And I think many men join here out of desperation. No options anywhere else, try this
So then you must agree - the frustration comes from assuming this site is just a bunch of sex starved people who will fuck anyone and that means they feel they are entitled to a fuck from anyone they choose.
No matter how you look at it, those people are frustrated but it literally isn't anyones fault. It is the way life goes but blaming others for not choosing to be with them is wrong.
Prehaps it seems pointless to suggest improvements to profiles or opening lines in messages but what else is one supposed to say?
"Well, sorry my friend, but you are never gonna get a meet. Give up. Go home. Have a wank".
Surely it is expressing empathy by trying to help them increase their chances as much as possible with pointers on how to do that?
Also, as a the woman half of a couple, it isn't easy.
Couples are villified on here to the max.
I do not fit standard beauty etc and what we are looking for is the same as hundreds of others.
The difference being for me/us - we are not desperate for it nor frustrated that it takes time. Plus I don't actively seek out people and do not, therefore, suffer rejection repeatedly.
MrsAbz "I think the best thing you can tell most men on here is to get off here and into the real world where those things matter eat less I think the worst thing you can do is post a thread saying the things that do matter (to some) don’t matter at all and it’s entirely your fault for not getting meets The 5’3 guy with a small penis. Don’t improve your profile on here, your time is better spent finding a nice outfit, getting a fresh haircut, and saying hi to a cute girl at a pub. Because she can fall in love with everything you have to do offer. A fabs profile only shows 0.0002% of who you actually are | |||
"I’d argue some of the things you listed do matter, and you thinking they don’t shows why you can’t understand the frustration that breeds a victim mentality It all really boils down to choice though. No one is a victim because no crime has been committed, no one is missing out on anything owed to them and no one is entitled to another persons body jist because they want it. Being told no doesn't make you a victim. Because you want something doesn't mean you are entitled to it nor does another person have to provide it to you. MrsAbz Partly agree, but they listed things that do matter, and said they don’t matter in the slightest No ones entitled to anything, but if you look at a guy that’s 5’3 with a small penis and think everything’s his fault, I think your just naive or lack empathy. Clearly some things matter that aren’t in people’s control That is fair comment. It also applies to women though - large bodied with small boobs and an unconvential face? Nowhere near as easy as someone with standardised beauty traits. Then again, I don't think it is anyones "fault" for being the way they are but they do need to look at society and accept that some things aren't going to be easy and prehaps lowered expectations would be advisable. Unfortunately it is just the way life is, some have and some have not. MrsAbz Ps I do enjoy a debate with you, we've had before
Absolutely, women too, no denying that
Not placing blame, or fault, or saying anyone should meet anyone
Purely taking issue with the “it doesn’t matter in the slightest”
I think it’s brain dead, especially as a woman on here, to sit on your high horse claiming nothing matters, everything’s your fault
Imagine some poor disabled guy on here reading that? We hate to admit it, but you receive a message from a wheelchair bound guy, most people are going to say no thanks purely because of his disability. But according to this post, it’s his fault, he’s just entitled and needs a better profile
It’s ironic because this post reeks of entitlement.
I don't think the original post was entitled, at least it didn't read that way to me. It was merely expressing a confusion as to why people blame others for their own lack of success on fab.
It is still not anyones fault - not the person wanting a meet nor the person declining it. It just is the way of life.
As I agreed, there are those in life who will struggle more than others due to looks.
Which is then odd to me that someone would join a site, which no matter how you look at it, is predominately based on physical looks and attributes. Surely that is setting yourself up for failure?
MrsAbz
It’s entitled because it’s a woman on a couples profile, arguably the easiest position to be in on fabs. Looking down at others saying “why are you struggling? Stop complaining”
It’s the equivalent of the queen looking at the peasants from her castle and saying “have you tried not being poor?”
And I think many men join here out of desperation. No options anywhere else, try this
So then you must agree - the frustration comes from assuming this site is just a bunch of sex starved people who will fuck anyone and that means they feel they are entitled to a fuck from anyone they choose.
No matter how you look at it, those people are frustrated but it literally isn't anyones fault. It is the way life goes but blaming others for not choosing to be with them is wrong.
Prehaps it seems pointless to suggest improvements to profiles or opening lines in messages but what else is one supposed to say?
"Well, sorry my friend, but you are never gonna get a meet. Give up. Go home. Have a wank".
Surely it is expressing empathy by trying to help them increase their chances as much as possible with pointers on how to do that?
Also, as a the woman half of a couple, it isn't easy.
Couples are villified on here to the max.
I do not fit standard beauty etc and what we are looking for is the same as hundreds of others.
The difference being for me/us - we are not desperate for it nor frustrated that it takes time. Plus I don't actively seek out people and do not, therefore, suffer rejection repeatedly.
MrsAbz
I think the best thing you can tell most men on here is to get off here and into the real world where those things matter eat less
I think the worst thing you can do is post a thread saying the things that do matter (to some) don’t matter at all and it’s entirely your fault for not getting meets
The 5’3 guy with a small penis. Don’t improve your profile on here, your time is better spent finding a nice outfit, getting a fresh haircut, and saying hi to a cute girl at a pub. Because she can fall in love with everything you have to do offer. A fabs profile only shows 0.0002% of who you actually are "So, if the next time someone posts and says "I can't get a meet, is it me? Am I ugly" and I reply with "Yes mate, I'm sorry but its you. You aren't going to find much if any success on here" that would be taken well? I don't think it would really. There are several times I have wanted to say that but it seems cruel and mean to be so negative. Anyway, we shall agree to disagree (or agree, I am no longer sure at this point) as my time us up here just now and a trip to the shops beckons. Have a good day and thanks for the debate MrsAbz | |||
" So, if the next time someone posts and says "I can't get a meet, is it me? Am I ugly" and I reply with "Yes mate, I'm sorry but its you. You aren't going to find much if any success on here" that would be taken well? I don't think it would really. There are several times I have wanted to say that but it seems cruel and mean to be so negative. Anyway, we shall agree to disagree (or agree, I am no longer sure at this point) as my time us up here just now and a trip to the shops beckons. Have a good day and thanks for the debate MrsAbz" Id say, what do you care more about? Advice being taken well Or actually being realistic and helpful? Advice isn’t advice if it’s only said to make someone feel better I’d never say they’re ugly. But I’d point out the inherent difficulties fabs has and steer them towards a better option | |||
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"I do it. I blame my face mostly. It's at the point where I show that I get the most rejection. Apparently it doesn't match the body. I blame they way men talk to me on here. I blame the behaviour of guys on here. I blame the ones that lie. Like the cheating man that says you should trust him. Or the man that says he's not the jealous type but he clearly is. I blame the fact I'm shitty because men have done things and now my views on trust etc are crap. I could blame myself for picking the wrong guys. But instead I'll blame the guys for being on their best behaviour till they've got in my knickers. And actually I can apply this to some women on here too. But now....I blame myself because I'm half hearted and meh about finding anyone. " That makes me feel a bit sad. Also makes me want to see your face even more. | |||
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"Why is it always someone else's fault? The many posts blaming others for their lack of meets & success on this site, why is it others are to blame for people not getting fucked, I mean I've heard it all. My dick isn't big enough all women want huge dicks! I'm not muscular enough women want muscles. I'm not rich enough. I don't drive a good enough car. I'm not verified and people only fuck the verified. It absolutely baffles me, none of those above matter in the slightest, but of course it's easier to blame others. At what point do you look at your profile and think maybe I am not doing something right, maybe I need to change something? Make an effort, pop along to a social or club & hey verified. Or just the realisation that the majority won't jump to fuck anyone because we like to be attracted to not only looks but the person too & that sleezy message was just so cringe it was an immediate no. Why is it people can't take responsibility for themselves? Or their unrealistic expectations? Genuinely curious to people's thoughts. I need more sleep! Mrs " In relation to more meets etc, I am happy with my lot. I've met someone I like and am wanting to explore that. The fact I haven't been on countless socials, club outing etc, although I'd have liked more club visits etc isn't the end of the world. But in relation to blaming someone else in general, I'd like to think I weigh up and talk things out. That is not not not to say I have used fab as a venting place, because clearly I have. Also I have only ever been putting my opinion across so by default what I have said is somewhat flawed. Using fab as a venting place is not good, I have learned that the hard way. However, I have two people now dependant on the subject that I can vent too which is much needed. They have stopped the spiraling in my head and helped pull me out before I get sucked in my thoughts and inadequacies. So I would like to think in the majority (although you won't see it all on here) I take responsibility for myself, I apologise where I need to. But when my head requires it I will talk to people about my dissatisfaction ie if they make me feel stupid, if they degrade me in front of the kids, if they gaslight me or if I think they have wronged me, omitted things or twisted things so it's not the truth, not supported me through hell when promised, still not paid back/slowly repaid what they owe for months despite going to hotels, countless events and entrance fees etc etc, I don't know that kind of stuff. So yes, I vent, sometimes their is nuance but sometimes their is just cold hard facts and consequences and you can nuance all you like. | |||
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"Why is it always someone else's fault? The many posts blaming others for their lack of meets & success on this site, why is it others are to blame for people not getting fucked, I mean I've heard it all. My dick isn't big enough all women want huge dicks! I'm not muscular enough women want muscles. I'm not rich enough. I don't drive a good enough car. I'm not verified and people only fuck the verified. It absolutely baffles me, none of those above matter in the slightest, but of course it's easier to blame others. At what point do you look at your profile and think maybe I am not doing something right, maybe I need to change something? Make an effort, pop along to a social or club & hey verified. Or just the realisation that the majority won't jump to fuck anyone because we like to be attracted to not only looks but the person too & that sleezy message was just so cringe it was an immediate no. Why is it people can't take responsibility for themselves? Or their unrealistic expectations? Genuinely curious to people's thoughts. I need more sleep! Mrs " Because people lack self awareness | |||
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