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The Invictus Spotters Guide to Single Men...
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By *nvictus OP Man
over a year ago
Beeston |
The different approaches for the single guy to use on Fab, a few highlights;
Caveman
Ugg, me have cock, look at cock wo-man! Me have BIG cave! Shag in my cave now!!
(Official Fab statistics show this is a long shot... unless your lucky enough to find a cavewoman on here. We suspect they are extinct or have evolved and no longer susceptable to 'cock waving' rituals)
Carpet Bomber
Send a short cut and paste message to all women within 150 miles. Follow up with regular winks and repeat messages (sooner or later you'll hit something and get a meet... but don't count on it, those ladies have bomb proof shelters and rarely open the door...)
The Ideal Lover
Carefully spends several days choosing a small select group of special and unique ladies, then messages them with a beautifully thoughtful and individually crafted message that refers to them in poetic and tastefully amorous terms.... then waits patiently for a reply....
and waits...
and waits...
(Although widely regarded as a nice approach by the ladies, sadly this romantic idealist will more often than not be lost in the chaff and be left forever waiting for his perfect amorous liason...)
The Joker
With a barrage of wit and erudite charm the joker will try and get the ladies to laugh their knickers off for him (an approach used with some success by a few men, but not without it's pitfalls... often they end up as the joke themselves and are prone to fits of insanity)
Are there any I've missed?
[Please note: This Invictus thread is brought to you in full tongue-in-cheekorama and is purely intented to be used for humourous purposes. Taking it to seriously can result in irritation, irregular bowel movements and raised stress levels. Thank you] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You kinda have it spot on there _nvictus...
We get a lot of messages a day from single men, we don't mind this as we have single guys listed on our profile!
It's 99.9% me (Lucy) that reads the messages... Firstly I don't open the message if I can see its only a " wanna fuck" message, and I tend to look at the profile before opening the message!!
We know its tough or single guys on here!! But you get out what you put in!! |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
Don't forget the Forum Approach. There are two types here:
Lurkier in lurve: he reads and sends PMs tailored to your last post. Shows a keen interest in your thoughts and agrees with your _iews.
Inmate: part of the forum zoo and plays many women at one time. You can spot his next intended victim by the subtle changes in forum display.
*Posted in the same light-hearted, non-Thursday, way as the OP. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
You've miised a couple.
The 'inncocent advice asker' - will message you saying he is new on site and would appreciate any advice regarding his profile. Don't answer these as he will then use this as an opening to pepper you with messages asking to meet, even though he has nothing in common with you.
The 'deceiver' - chatty message, maybe jokey, maybe passionate, but nice enough to warrant a reply. If, however, the reply is to thank them but turn them down they then turn into a foul-mouthed abuser, leaving you xlightly shaken and with an additional entry on your 'block' list. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"You kinda have it spot on there _nvictus...
We get a lot of messages a day from single men, we don't mind this as we have single guys listed on our profile!
It's 99.9% me (Lucy) that reads the messages... Firstly I don't open the message if I can see its only a " wanna fuck" message, and I tend to look at the profile before opening the message!!
We know its tough or single guys on here!! But you get out what you put in!! "
Maybe that should be, they would get in if they put out more. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Don't forget the Forum Approach. There are two types here:
Lurkier in lurve: he reads and sends PMs tailored to your last post. Shows a keen interest in your thoughts and agrees with your _iews.
Inmate: part of the forum zoo and plays many women at one time. You can spot his next intended victim by the subtle changes in forum display.
*Posted in the same light-hearted, non-Thursday, way as the OP."
Haha 
The amount of messages I get starting with 'I saw you on the forums and think you are very level-headed....'  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The different approaches for the single guy to use on Fab, a few highlights;
Caveman
Ugg, me have cock, look at cock wo-man! Me have BIG cave! Shag in my cave now!!
(Official Fab statistics show this is a long shot... unless your lucky enough to find a cavewoman on here. We suspect they are extinct or have evolved and no longer susceptable to 'cock waving' rituals)
Carpet Bomber
Send a short cut and paste message to all women within 150 miles. Follow up with regular winks and repeat messages (sooner or later you'll hit something and get a meet... but don't count on it, those ladies have bomb proof shelters and rarely open the door...)
The Ideal Lover
Carefully spends several days choosing a small select group of special and unique ladies, then messages them with a beautifully thoughtful and individually crafted message that refers to them in poetic and tastefully amorous terms.... then waits patiently for a reply....
and waits...
and waits...
(Although widely regarded as a nice approach by the ladies, sadly this romantic idealist will more often than not be lost in the chaff and be left forever waiting for his perfect amorous liason...)
The Joker
With a barrage of wit and erudite charm the joker will try and get the ladies to laugh their knickers off for him (an approach used with some success by a few men, but not without it's pitfalls... often they end up as the joke themselves and are prone to fits of insanity)
Are there any I've missed?
[Please note: This Invictus thread is brought to you in full tongue-in-cheekorama and is purely intented to be used for humourous purposes. Taking it to seriously can result in irritation, irregular bowel movements and raised stress levels. Thank you] "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That’s only half you forgot..
The sycophant
He rims and licks his way through potential meets saying anything and everything with the aim of getting potential cock or cunt to satisfy their cravings.
The hero
The hero will champion others causes in an open display of manliness not because he really believes in the cause or even out of chivalry but with the specific aim to plant cock in orifice of the defende. I like this one as its so entertaining to watch his acts of valour.
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By *am123Man
over a year ago
essex chelmsford |
whats left then ? if none of the above work we may aswell just leave the site  .
yay thats another aproach i cant get a meet boo hoo, please advise me and check out my profile ,or i mite just aswell leave this site  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I may have discovered another.
The single man basher
I don’t know if this is really a class but what about the single man who tries to elevate his own self perception by putting down other men and trying to portray himself as better than the rest?
Aka “I know babes all those rude men not reading your profile, isn’t it terrible”
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"That’s only half you forgot..
The sycophant
He rims and licks his way through potential meets saying anything and everything with the aim of getting potential cock or cunt to satisfy their cravings.
The hero
The hero will champion others causes in an open display of manliness not because he really believes in the cause or even out of chivalry but with the specific aim to plant cock in orifice of the defende. I like this one as its so entertaining to watch his acts of valour.
"
I don't always agree with your posts...but you have this spot on! |
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By *nvictus OP Man
over a year ago
Beeston |
"
Inmate: part of the forum zoo and plays many women at one time. You can spot his next intended victim by the subtle changes in forum display.
*Posted in the same light-hearted, non-Thursday, way as the OP."
No. That ridiculous. Can't believe anyone does that for a second....  |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"I may have discovered another.
The single man basher
I don’t know if this is really a class but what about the single man who tries to elevate his own self perception by putting down other men and trying to portray himself as better than the rest?
Aka “I know babes all those rude men not reading your profile, isn’t it terrible”
"
Also identified by his forum cry 'guys like that give guys like me a bad name' |
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By *nvictus OP Man
over a year ago
Beeston |
"Don't forget the Forum Approach. There are two types here:
Lurkier in lurve: he reads and sends PMs tailored to your last post. Shows a keen interest in your thoughts and agrees with your _iews.
Inmate: part of the forum zoo and plays many women at one time. You can spot his next intended victim by the subtle changes in forum display.
*Posted in the same light-hearted, non-Thursday, way as the OP.
Haha
The amount of messages I get starting with 'I saw you on the forums and think you are very level-headed....' "
I clearly need to rethink this then 
Mine usually say 'I saw you on the forums and though you had a most delightfull bum...' |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"
Inmate: part of the forum zoo and plays many women at one time. You can spot his next intended victim by the subtle changes in forum display.
*Posted in the same light-hearted, non-Thursday, way as the OP.
No. That ridiculous. Can't believe anyone does that for a second.... "
I forgot the 'Arsey' - they use their botties to try and influence women to want to meet them. Common characteristics include botty avatars and threads about bottoms. They often get women to post such threads on their arsey behalf. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You kinda have it spot on there _nvictus...
We get a lot of messages a day from single men, we don't mind this as we have single guys listed on our profile!
It's 99.9% me (Lucy) that reads the messages... Firstly I don't open the message if I can see its only a " wanna fuck" message, and I tend to look at the profile before opening the message!!
We know its tough or single guys on here!! But you get out what you put in!! "
Why did I write this comment?? 
It's totally out of context!!! Silly Lucy |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Don't forget the Forum Approach. There are two types here:
Lurkier in lurve: he reads and sends PMs tailored to your last post. Shows a keen interest in your thoughts and agrees with your _iews.
Inmate: part of the forum zoo and plays many women at one time. You can spot his next intended victim by the subtle changes in forum display.
*Posted in the same light-hearted, non-Thursday, way as the OP.
Haha
The amount of messages I get starting with 'I saw you on the forums and think you are very level-headed....'
I clearly need to rethink this then
Mine usually say 'I saw you on the forums and though you had a most delightfull bum...' "
That wouldn't work with me as I don't have a bum pic. I'd assume in your scattergun posting method you'd clicked the wrong profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
There is a rare one called
Can you see my arse mother?
I am not sure if he is too shy to show face pictures, my job is at risk or is in reality more bent than a hoola hoop but I like this one a lot as I am a buttock fan.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Don't forget the Forum Approach. There are two types here:
Lurkier in lurve: he reads and sends PMs tailored to your last post. Shows a keen interest in your thoughts and agrees with your _iews.
Inmate: part of the forum zoo and plays many women at one time. You can spot his next intended victim by the subtle changes in forum display.
*Posted in the same light-hearted, non-Thursday, way as the OP.
Haha
The amount of messages I get starting with 'I saw you on the forums and think you are very level-headed....'
I clearly need to rethink this then
Mine usually say 'I saw you on the forums and though you had a most delightfull bum...' "
Thought that was just me |
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By *nvictus OP Man
over a year ago
Beeston |
"
Inmate: part of the forum zoo and plays many women at one time. You can spot his next intended victim by the subtle changes in forum display.
*Posted in the same light-hearted, non-Thursday, way as the OP.
No. That ridiculous. Can't believe anyone does that for a second....
I forgot the 'Arsey' - they use their botties to try and influence women to want to meet them. Common characteristics include botty avatars and threads about bottoms. They often get women to post such threads on their arsey behalf."
You'll be telling me next you have fairies at the bottom of your garden. Can't believe some men would do that? Seriously?!? |
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Let's not forget 'The Conversational'
Even if your profile is hidden or has notes all over it saying not meeting so don't message me he sends a chatty hello. Woe betides the woman who takes it as a come on and says no thanks because he's obviously just being friendly and not angling for a meet. 
This confusion leads (he hopes) to her apologising and continuing to talk while he plays his long game of getting a meet by being such a genuine guy.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The minder
He's prepared to chaperon you to any club of your choice and take care of you.. Make sure your comfortable and keep the sleaze balls away from you |
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By *am123Man
over a year ago
essex chelmsford |
"The minder
He's prepared to chaperon you to any club of your choice and take care of you.. Make sure your comfortable and keep the sleaze balls away from you "
but wants to put his cock in your bottom as return tho |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"
You'll be telling me next you have fairies at the bottom of your garden. Can't believe some men would do that? Seriously?!? "
I thought the fairies lived in the bubbles from the washing up liquid. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"The minder
He's prepared to chaperon you to any club of your choice and take care of you.. Make sure your comfortable and keep the sleaze balls away from you
but wants to put his cock in your bottom as return tho "
Yep!
You seem to know a lot about these guys....  |
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"Don't forget the Forum Approach. There are two types here:
Lurkier in lurve: he reads and sends PMs tailored to your last post. Shows a keen interest in your thoughts and agrees with your _iews.
Inmate: part of the forum zoo and plays many women at one time. You can spot his next intended victim by the subtle changes in forum display.
*Posted in the same light-hearted, non-Thursday, way as the OP."
My favourite is the "white knight". As a single man blocked by most couples and single women so comes to the rescue via forum threads to raise profile.
What's funny is watching their position change from thread to thread. |
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By *nvictus OP Man
over a year ago
Beeston |
"The minder
He's prepared to chaperon you to any club of your choice and take care of you.. Make sure your comfortable and keep the sleaze balls away from you "
I've actually done that for real with social meets (not in a club), but not as a slimey back door (phnarr!) way of getting a shag. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't forget the Forum Approach. There are two types here:
Lurkier in lurve: he reads and sends PMs tailored to your last post. Shows a keen interest in your thoughts and agrees with your _iews.
Inmate: part of the forum zoo and plays many women at one time. You can spot his next intended victim by the subtle changes in forum display.
*Posted in the same light-hearted, non-Thursday, way as the OP.
My favourite is the "white knight". As a single man blocked by most couples and single women so comes to the rescue via forum threads to raise profile.
What's funny is watching their position change from thread to thread."
I like the visual image that comes to mind with that. Helmut on but stalk bollock naked on a white charger with stiff rod in hand and a garland affixed just behind the tip of his semi wilting spear of knightliness.  |
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By *nvictus OP Man
over a year ago
Beeston |
"Don't forget the Forum Approach. There are two types here:
Lurkier in lurve: he reads and sends PMs tailored to your last post. Shows a keen interest in your thoughts and agrees with your _iews.
Inmate: part of the forum zoo and plays many women at one time. You can spot his next intended victim by the subtle changes in forum display.
*Posted in the same light-hearted, non-Thursday, way as the OP.
My favourite is the "white knight". As a single man blocked by most couples and single women so comes to the rescue via forum threads to raise profile.
What's funny is watching their position change from thread to thread."
I completely agree lovely lady they are usually in the clique as well  |
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The Asker: constant questioning of stupid questions like 'hey where do u live and wots ur name' (no question mark) ending with continual 'why why why y y y y?' questions to 'no thank you' replies. Eg. 'wot u into' 'wot u wearing' 'wanna fuck' .... Etc ad nauseum. |
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"Don't forget the Forum Approach. There are two types here:
Lurkier in lurve: he reads and sends PMs tailored to your last post. Shows a keen interest in your thoughts and agrees with your _iews.
Inmate: part of the forum zoo and plays many women at one time. You can spot his next intended victim by the subtle changes in forum display.
*Posted in the same light-hearted, non-Thursday, way as the OP.
My favourite is the "white knight". As a single man blocked by most couples and single women so comes to the rescue via forum threads to raise profile.
What's funny is watching their position change from thread to thread.
I like the visual image that comes to mind with that. Helmut on but stalk bollock naked on a white charger with stiff rod in hand and a garland affixed just behind the tip of his semi wilting spear of knightliness. "
***Giggles***...oh now that's an image! |
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"Don't forget the Forum Approach. There are two types here:
Lurkier in lurve: he reads and sends PMs tailored to your last post. Shows a keen interest in your thoughts and agrees with your _iews.
Inmate: part of the forum zoo and plays many women at one time. You can spot his next intended victim by the subtle changes in forum display.
*Posted in the same light-hearted, non-Thursday, way as the OP.
My favourite is the "white knight". As a single man blocked by most couples and single women so comes to the rescue via forum threads to raise profile.
What's funny is watching their position change from thread to thread.
I completely agree lovely lady they are usually in the clique as well "
They have to be as they're blocked dah! Keep up! |
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By *nvictus OP Man
over a year ago
Beeston |
"The Asker: constant questioning of stupid questions like 'hey where do u live and wots ur name' (no question mark) ending with continual 'why why why y y y y?' questions to 'no thank you' replies. Eg. 'wot u into' 'wot u wearing' 'wanna fuck' .... Etc ad nauseum. "
I know! Why do they do that? Why? |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"The Asker: constant questioning of stupid questions like 'hey where do u live and wots ur name' (no question mark) ending with continual 'why why why y y y y?' questions to 'no thank you' replies. Eg. 'wot u into' 'wot u wearing' 'wanna fuck' .... Etc ad nauseum.
I know! Why do they do that? Why? "
Not addressing the OP at all but I find the ones that use a question mark at the end of every non-question sentence as annoying as the raised inflection. |
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By *am123Man
over a year ago
essex chelmsford |
"The minder
He's prepared to chaperon you to any club of your choice and take care of you.. Make sure your comfortable and keep the sleaze balls away from you
but wants to put his cock in your bottom as return tho
Yep!
You seem to know a lot about these guys.... "
lol i know im one of them bend over lol |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"The minder
He's prepared to chaperon you to any club of your choice and take care of you.. Make sure your comfortable and keep the sleaze balls away from you
but wants to put his cock in your bottom as return tho
Yep!
You seem to know a lot about these guys.... lol i know im one of them bend over lol "
Best offer I've had all day! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are there any I've missed?
[Please note: This Invictus thread is brought to you in full tongue-in-cheekorama and is purely intented to be used for humourous purposes. Taking it to seriously can result in irritation, irregular bowel movements and raised stress levels. Thank you] "
You missed the 'fatherly Old Sage' approach, currently being used by oneself to surprising success!! And no, I am NOT going to tell you how it works!! |
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There is always the , write 1 or 2 witty threads a day showing a general take it or leave it laid back attitude leadingto being thought of as cheeky but approachable , approach works on the same principle as brand advertising x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You forgot the Unicorn, this maybe mythical beast meets every few days with horny women couples and others satisfying all needs, which of course works against all other categories |
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