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By *eli OP Woman 46 weeks ago
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When it comes to Fab and meeting people, socially or more intimately, are you quite patient?
Do you prefer to erm nudge things along because you can lose interest/don't like waiting around or are you happy to be more relaxed (not sure that's quite the right word) about it? |
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Apart from one person, who I've been chatting to since I joined, I have absolutely zero patience and I lose interest very quickly! I have a short attention span, you need to put the effort in and keep it flowing for me to remain involved. |
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Oh. I think you know what my answer will be.
It varies 
There are times I've wanted to immediately meet someone and the opportunity was there so I pushed for it. There are times I've waffled online at someone for upwards of a year before a suitable opportunity presented itself to make that step to actually meet them.
All things by mood and circumstance  |
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Patient - probably too much so. I like to be as sure as possible about the person before I meet them to reduce the liklihood of an awkward, chemisty-free meet/date. Of course I should remember that this often doesn't work, that it's very difficult to assess chemistry virtually, and that my natural awkwardness will make it awkward regardless of how smoothly the online conversation has gone!  |
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By *eli OP Woman 46 weeks ago
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"Apart from one person, who I've been chatting to since I joined, I have absolutely zero patience and I lose interest very quickly! I have a short attention span, you need to put the effort in and keep it flowing for me to remain involved."
I think that effort/flow should be there regardless of how long you're talking but yes... being impatient and losing interest quickly probably makes it even more important.
What happens if you can't align diaries for a few weeks. Or longer. Do you just move on? Or return closer to when it could work? |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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I can be very patient and I'd only nudge in terms of initiating conversation if it's gone quieter.
Some of the best fab experiences have been the ones that evolved over time. And they have stuck around in one form or another to this day.
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By *eli OP Woman 46 weeks ago
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"Oh. I think you know what my answer will be.
It varies
There are times I've wanted to immediately meet someone and the opportunity was there so I pushed for it. There are times I've waffled online at someone for upwards of a year before a suitable opportunity presented itself to make that step to actually meet them.
All things by mood and circumstance "
You even gave me one of those saucy little emotes! Gosh today is a good day.
Yes, I'm rather similar to you. I've never erm pushed to go straight to the fucking but if things are going well, I've met people socially after a few days of talking before.
Waffling at/with people is great fun! Never to be sniffed at. |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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Don’t want to nudge things along anymore because I don’t think people like it. I’ve been too patient in years gone by. But I’ve learned after some recent reflecting that you should only prioritise who is prioritising you. So I guess I’ll be less patient. People have valid reasons for not being able to meet etc but I’m saving my energy for those that match my energy.
Ironically my campaigner personality profile talks about how I respond to not having energy matches in romantic relationships and it’s so me.  |
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"I’m at their front door before they can write a second message. Wearing only cling film.
Cling film? Still playing the long game. Make it tinfoil, easier to rip open."
This time of year it can be tinsel… |
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By *eli OP Woman 46 weeks ago
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"Patient - probably too much so. I like to be as sure as possible about the person before I meet them to reduce the liklihood of an awkward, chemisty-free meet/date. Of course I should remember that this often doesn't work, that it's very difficult to assess chemistry virtually, and that my natural awkwardness will make it awkward regardless of how smoothly the online conversation has gone! "
I don't think there's such a thing as too much so as long as the other person knows you're interested.
It is difficult to assess that translation of chemistry isn't it? Sometimes it's there and sometimes it's not. Maybe approaching it from a friend point of view might help cut down on some of the awkwardness*?
*no, I'm not giving a random person advice. Even I'm not *that* bad. |
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"When it comes to Fab and meeting people, socially or more intimately, are you quite patient?
Do you prefer to erm nudge things along because you can lose interest/don't like waiting around or are you happy to be more relaxed (not sure that's quite the right word) about it?"
I'm very patient as I Know some people take a while to either pluck up the courage or to figure out what they want.
As long as I know I'm not just being strung along I don't mind waiting, especially as sometimes the build up can really make the sex that much better.
Different story if they never had the intention to even think about actually meeting up and they just want sex ting and that's it. |
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"Patient - probably too much so. I like to be as sure as possible about the person before I meet them to reduce the liklihood of an awkward, chemisty-free meet/date. Of course I should remember that this often doesn't work, that it's very difficult to assess chemistry virtually, and that my natural awkwardness will make it awkward regardless of how smoothly the online conversation has gone!
I don't think there's such a thing as too much so as long as the other person knows you're interested.
It is difficult to assess that translation of chemistry isn't it? Sometimes it's there and sometimes it's not. Maybe approaching it from a friend point of view might help cut down on some of the awkwardness*?
*no, I'm not giving a random person advice. Even I'm not *that* bad. "
Yeah I suspect you're right. Try to work out if we could be friends first and see if the WB comes along naturally. And if it doesn't, hopefully I've made a FWOB, which is still a good thing to have. |
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When everyone is on the same page and the connection is there then we want to be like Marvin and ‘let’s get it on’
When people just keep spinning plates then the interest just goes and we can’t be bothered.
Some people like their ego stroked - we want to meet the walkers not the talkers 
K |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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"When it comes to Fab and meeting people, socially or more intimately, are you quite patient?
Do you prefer to erm nudge things along because you can lose interest/don't like waiting around or are you happy to be more relaxed (not sure that's quite the right word) about it?
I'm very patient as I Know some people take a while to either pluck up the courage or to figure out what they want.
As long as I know I'm not just being strung along I don't mind waiting, especially as sometimes the build up can really make the sex that much better.
Different story if they never had the intention to even think about actually meeting up and they just want sex ting and that's it. "
 this is perhaps more along my line of thinking..
Ultimately I'm after a meet.. also I'm more open to socials than I use to be, getting a gander at one another before either of us decides to do anything, is an idea that's become more appealing...that might be more to do with caution than patience though |
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By *eli OP Woman 46 weeks ago
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"Don’t take much to actually meet. Social 1st is fine . There are so many that string people along and make excuses. "
People do but... maybe sometimes there are real reasons behind it? I think you can usually tell. Maybe. |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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I’m happy to go down the patient route.
A couple of people I met, didn’t happen for over 12 months.
It’s nice if we can stroke while the iron is hot n all that, but it’s not a mega problem if we don’t. I don’t go off someone just because we can’t hook up in the next week. |
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We had a period in the summer where apart from the odd night out at a club we had crazy on-off shifts, nights, weekends and it played hell with meeting people. We still can't accommodate as we are between properties, but hopefully next year we will actually be able to host at flexible times.
It easy to forget that other people have kids, jobs, lives x |
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By *eli OP Woman 46 weeks ago
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"I can be very patient and I'd only nudge in terms of initiating conversation if it's gone quieter.
Some of the best fab experiences have been the ones that evolved over time. And they have stuck around in one form or another to this day.
"
I love this probably because I identify with a lot of what you've typed. Sometimes things evolve and sometimes they don't. I'm not in any rush to shape how things go bar enjoying the friendship for what it is at the moment. |
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