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Anal Communism Dictatorship
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Yup. You read that right.
The likely reality is fully automated luxury communism would be a rather amazing and liberating next step for our species (read Aaron Bastani's book if you're so inclined).
But this being FAB, me being Mr Cunt, and threads being a great place for absurd ideas - you get Anal Communism Dictatorship instead.
Like that late Xmas present you never knew you needed  .
Imagine...climate change has ravaged us. Trump, kept alive by blood infusions from pigs and virgins, is entering his 48th year as Fascist Big Dog Of The Americas, yet Mr Cunt (kept alive by whisky and playing with cute panthers) emerges as the TransEuropean Communist Dictator to challenge his vile hegemony.
With, uhm, my own vile hegemony.
Look, I never said it was perfect, all right?!
The catch? I have a thing about population control (not really. Details upon request) and a big thing about watching people bumming (ermmmm...??).
You are only allowed 0.986 children each, and you have to bum and cum in front of my BumCumCommyCam at least twice weekly to drain the excess baby making stuff away.
If you don't perform, I'll sh*t on your granny and steal your cat.
Again.
So...the question is.....what sort of show do you put on for me, your Beloved Dictator, as I sit in my opulent chair, stroking my panthers, tuning into your homes every night?
What do you do to make sure you catch my eye, become a favourite, more equal than others, in this vile Empire of Mr Cunt?
Anyone with a bum may answer.
I know that could be discriminatory toward the bumless, but who's the dictator here, eh?
Me, or me?
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Well, I'm touched by everyone's comments, in a "starve you in the gulags because I can" kinda way, but have to admit this particular very cute sociopathic dictator is a tad hurt no one has yet applauded my BumCumCommyCam word.
My brain hurt coming up with that one.
More than your bums probably  . |
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"Great word, oh your Dukiness! (Grovel grovel).
So, a BumCumCommyCam in every room? You need a slogan...
"Big Bummer is watching you!""
You know, I had "Bum Cummer is watching you" in my first draft...but "Big Bummer" is better, and is now staying "in"  xx |
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Problem is there isn't enough bum for all the cocks.
In real communism you were imprisoned, if you didnt work or done exactly what they said.
Shut up and pretend was the middle ground.
So some clarity would be nice about the rule of the law for everyone. |
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"Problem is there isn't enough bum for all the cocks.
In real communism you were imprisoned, if you didnt work or done exactly what they said.
Shut up and pretend was the middle ground.
So some clarity would be nice about the rule of the law for everyone."
It seems like he's making this up as he goes along, Roland!  |
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"Problem is there isn't enough bum for all the cocks.
In real communism you were imprisoned, if you didnt work or done exactly what they said.
Shut up and pretend was the middle ground.
So some clarity would be nice about the rule of the law for everyone.
It seems like he's making this up as he goes along, Roland! "
***
That's what dictators do.
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"My bellybutton would sing for you after the bumming.
J
Is that so? "
Yes. I happen to know that Big Bummer is a fan of my singing bellybutton and I'm prepared to use my skills to double agent in a Red Sparrow way.
J |
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"My bellybutton would sing for you after the bumming.
J
Is that so?
Yes. I happen to know that Big Bummer is a fan of my singing bellybutton and I'm prepared to use my skills to double agent in a Red Sparrow way.
J "
***
I was expecting something completely different skills.
" I'm prepared to use my skills to double a..."
Slightly disappointed.
I was going to crown you straight away.
 |
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"My bellybutton would sing for you after the bumming.
J
Is that so?
Yes. I happen to know that Big Bummer is a fan of my singing bellybutton and I'm prepared to use my skills to double agent in a Red Sparrow way.
J
***
I was expecting something completely different skills.
" I'm prepared to use my skills to double a..."
Slightly disappointed.
I was going to crown you straight away.
"
Sorry to disappoint but is it not up to the Uber Dicktator? 
J |
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"Problem is there isn't enough bum for all the cocks.
In real communism you were imprisoned, if you didnt work or done exactly what they said.
Shut up and pretend was the middle ground.
So some clarity would be nice about the rule of the law for everyone."
This is a fair point. |
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"Problem is there isn't enough bum for all the cocks.
In real communism you were imprisoned, if you didnt work or done exactly what they said.
Shut up and pretend was the middle ground.
So some clarity would be nice about the rule of the law for everyone.
This is a fair point."
If this thread is going serious I'm out. Good luck with your anal communism OP and fighting market forces.  |
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"Problem is there isn't enough bum for all the cocks.
In real communism you were imprisoned, if you didnt work or done exactly what they said.
Shut up and pretend was the middle ground.
So some clarity would be nice about the rule of the law for everyone.
This is a fair point.
If this thread is going serious I'm out. Good luck with your anal communism OP and fighting market forces. "
***
Not many options in a dictatorship.
Just saying...
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"Problem is there isn't enough bum for all the cocks.
In real communism you were imprisoned, if you didnt work or done exactly what they said.
Shut up and pretend was the middle ground.
So some clarity would be nice about the rule of the law for everyone.
This is a fair point.
If this thread is going serious I'm out. Good luck with your anal communism OP and fighting market forces.
***
Not many options in a dictatorship.
Just saying...
"
This is, sorry was, a fun fab thread... |
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"My bellybutton would sing for you after the bumming.
J
Is that so?
Yes. I happen to know that Big Bummer is a fan of my singing bellybutton and I'm prepared to use my skills to double agent in a Red Sparrow way.
J
***
I was expecting something completely different skills.
" I'm prepared to use my skills to double a..."
Slightly disappointed.
I was going to crown you straight away.
Sorry to disappoint but is it not up to the Uber Dicktator?
J"
Yes.
Yes it is all up to me.
And J - that was very clever of you, pretending to only be a double agent, when we both know you can be a quintuple agent in your sleep, with your bellybutton on side-duties as triple-agent.
They bought the merely "double-agent" line though.
Too easy, wasn't it .
How long do I have before your magickal and marvellous assassination of me?
I want to make sure the panthers are cared for properly when I'm gone xxxx. |
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"Problem is there isn't enough bum for all the cocks.
In real communism you were imprisoned, if you didnt work or done exactly what they said.
Shut up and pretend was the middle ground.
So some clarity would be nice about the rule of the law for everyone.
It seems like he's making this up as he goes along, Roland!
***
That's what dictators do.
"
True, but nobody does it better than this dictator . |
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"My bellybutton would sing for you after the bumming.
J
Is that so?
Yes. I happen to know that Big Bummer is a fan of my singing bellybutton and I'm prepared to use my skills to double agent in a Red Sparrow way.
J
***
I was expecting something completely different skills.
" I'm prepared to use my skills to double a..."
Slightly disappointed.
I was going to crown you straight away.
Sorry to disappoint but is it not up to the Uber Dicktator?
J
Yes.
Yes it is all up to me.
And J - that was very clever of you, pretending to only be a double agent, when we both know you can be a quintuple agent in your sleep, with your bellybutton on side-duties as triple-agent.
They bought the merely "double-agent" line though.
Too easy, wasn't it.
How long do I have before your magickal and marvellous assassination of me?
I want to make sure the panthers are cared for properly when I'm gone xxxx."
I like panthers, they'll be treated like royalty. 
The assassination will obviously be incredible - even the word has ass in it twice. It will take me a while to work my way into your trusted inner circle (oh god, so many innuendoes) but I'll make sure all entrances are well prepared and unguarded so I can make a clean getaway.
J |
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"My bellybutton would sing for you after the bumming.
J
Is that so?
Yes. I happen to know that Big Bummer is a fan of my singing bellybutton and I'm prepared to use my skills to double agent in a Red Sparrow way.
J
***
I was expecting something completely different skills.
" I'm prepared to use my skills to double a..."
Slightly disappointed.
I was going to crown you straight away.
Sorry to disappoint but is it not up to the Uber Dicktator?
J
Yes.
Yes it is all up to me.
And J - that was very clever of you, pretending to only be a double agent, when we both know you can be a quintuple agent in your sleep, with your bellybutton on side-duties as triple-agent.
They bought the merely "double-agent" line though.
Too easy, wasn't it.
How long do I have before your magickal and marvellous assassination of me?
I want to make sure the panthers are cared for properly when I'm gone xxxx.
I like panthers, they'll be treated like royalty.
The assassination will obviously be incredible - even the word has ass in it twice. It will take me a while to work my way into your trusted inner circle (oh god, so many innuendoes) but I'll make sure all entrances are well prepared and unguarded so I can make a clean getaway.
J"
I think I'm genuinely looking forward more to the assassassassination (bonus ass there ) than the whole dictator thing.
Can you just take Trump out as well though please?
The panthers will help xxxx |
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"I like panthers, they'll be treated like royalty.
The assassination will obviously be incredible - even the word has ass in it twice. It will take me a while to work my way into your trusted inner circle (oh god, so many innuendoes) but I'll make sure all entrances are well prepared and unguarded so I can make a clean getaway.
J
I think I'm genuinely looking forward more to the assassassassination (bonus ass there ) than the whole dictator thing.
Can you just take Trump out as well though please?
The panthers will help xxxx"
Trump is already a goner. You tasked me with his assassassassassassination. This forgetfulness is part of the reason you need to be removed from position. 
J |
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"I love Trump's boner in my assassassassassass. His senile penile flaccid flopper makes my belly belt a whopper"
Still a trick or two left yet .
Well...you wouldn't enjoy it if I made it too easy for you . |
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"I'd quite like to watch this film as long as I can have a stunt double for the bumming.
J
Stunt bum is here!
Mrs TMN x
Awesome! I do have my own panther tail though 
J"
Look at that - you both get to be in the movie, Mrs TMN gets bummed, and, derrr, singing bellybuttons!
Who said a Dictatorship of the Analariat couldn't work! |
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"I'd quite like to watch this film as long as I can have a stunt double for the bumming.
J
Stunt bum is here!
Mrs TMN x
Awesome! I do have my own panther tail though
J
Look at that - you both get to be in the movie, Mrs TMN gets bummed, and, derrr, singing bellybuttons!
Who said a Dictatorship of the Analariat couldn't work!"
What a visionary you are Mr Cunt |
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"Well, I can't claim credit for the root idea.
Just everything else, obvs  .
It's an amazing mind, I'll give you that.
Strange, but amazing "
My alien, dead, and future human friends say similar things Willy xx |
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"Well, I can't claim credit for the root idea.
Just everything else, obvs .
It's an amazing mind, I'll give you that.
Strange, but amazing
My alien, dead, and future human friends say similar things Willy xx "
|
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"Yup. You read that right.
The likely reality is fully automated luxury communism would be a rather amazing and liberating next step for our species (read Aaron Bastani's book if you're so inclined).
But this being FAB, me being Mr Cunt, and threads being a great place for absurd ideas - you get Anal Communism Dictatorship instead.
Like that late Xmas present you never knew you needed .
Imagine...climate change has ravaged us. Trump, kept alive by blood infusions from pigs and virgins, is entering his 48th year as Fascist Big Dog Of The Americas, yet Mr Cunt (kept alive by whisky and playing with cute panthers) emerges as the TransEuropean Communist Dictator to challenge his vile hegemony.
With, uhm, my own vile hegemony.
Look, I never said it was perfect, all right?!
The catch? I have a thing about population control (not really. Details upon request) and a big thing about watching people bumming (ermmmm...??).
You are only allowed 0.986 children each, and you have to bum and cum in front of my BumCumCommyCam at least twice weekly to drain the excess baby making stuff away.
If you don't perform, I'll sh*t on your granny and steal your cat.
Again.
So...the question is.....what sort of show do you put on for me, your Beloved Dictator, as I sit in my opulent chair, stroking my panthers, tuning into your homes every night?
What do you do to make sure you catch my eye, become a favourite, more equal than others, in this vile Empire of Mr Cunt?
Anyone with a bum may answer.
I know that could be discriminatory toward the bumless, but who's the dictator here, eh?
Me, or me?
"
Jokes on you, I don’t like cats! |
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So I think this thread has had some very good moments, and it's now time to declare it was an idea Willy had for a bunch of threads by various people between Xmas and New Year, and the title of "Anal Communism Dictatorship" is very much the brainchild of Mr Roland of Nazareth.
I thank you both for the opportunity to get fucking weird once more, and thank everyone for joining in too.
And no - of course I won't sh*t on anyone's granny, living or dead.
I may be a cunt, but I'm not that sort of a cunt xxxx
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"So I think this thread has had some very good moments, and it's now time to declare it was an idea Willy had for a bunch of threads by various people between Xmas and New Year, and the title of "Anal Communism Dictatorship" is very much the brainchild of Mr Roland of Nazareth.
I thank you both for the opportunity to get fucking weird once more, and thank everyone for joining in too.
And no - of course I won't sh*t on anyone's granny, living or dead.
I may be a cunt, but I'm not that sort of a cunt xxxx
"
***
Let's see, if you murdered this cool thread with opening Pandora's box.
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