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Finger licking good
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I’ve just offered out my sweet, pink, succulent, sticky maple glazed roasted ham to a gent I’ve been flirting with.
I obviously meant my fanny but I mean, he did ask what was on the buffet.
What would yours be? Temp us in with your food related descriptions of your fun parts. Make it as dirty as possible!  it’s Christmas after all and I’m tipsy! |
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"I’ve just offered out my sweet, pink, succulent, sticky maple glazed roasted ham to a gent I’ve been flirting with.
I obviously meant my fanny but I mean, he did ask what was on the buffet.
What would yours be? Temp us in with your food related descriptions of your fun parts. Make it as dirty as possible! it’s Christmas after all and I’m tipsy! "
Why is your fanny maple glazed? |
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"I’ve just offered out my sweet, pink, succulent, sticky maple glazed roasted ham to a gent I’ve been flirting with.
I obviously meant my fanny but I mean, he did ask what was on the buffet.
What would yours be? Temp us in with your food related descriptions of your fun parts. Make it as dirty as possible! it’s Christmas after all and I’m tipsy!
Why is your fanny maple glazed? "
My fanny is also not a roasted ham but you know, for the purpose of the flirty banter.  |
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By (user no longer on site) 52 weeks ago
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"I’ve just offered out my sweet, pink, succulent, sticky maple glazed roasted ham to a gent I’ve been flirting with.
I obviously meant my fanny but I mean, he did ask what was on the buffet.
What would yours be? Temp us in with your food related descriptions of your fun parts. Make it as dirty as possible! it’s Christmas after all and I’m tipsy!
Why is your fanny maple glazed? "
Because its Christmas of course |
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"I’ve just offered out my sweet, pink, succulent, sticky maple glazed roasted ham to a gent I’ve been flirting with.
I obviously meant my fanny but I mean, he did ask what was on the buffet.
What would yours be? Temp us in with your food related descriptions of your fun parts. Make it as dirty as possible! it’s Christmas after all and I’m tipsy!
Why is your fanny maple glazed?
Because its Christmas of course "
And because it’s Christmas. She knows |
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"I’ve just offered out my sweet, pink, succulent, sticky maple glazed roasted ham to a gent I’ve been flirting with.
I obviously meant my fanny but I mean, he did ask what was on the buffet.
What would yours be? Temp us in with your food related descriptions of your fun parts. Make it as dirty as possible! it’s Christmas after all and I’m tipsy! "
Your sweet sticky maple glazed ham sounds perfect, can I taste it please? Maybe add my own glaze to it too? |
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"I’ve just offered out my sweet, pink, succulent, sticky maple glazed roasted ham to a gent I’ve been flirting with.
I obviously meant my fanny but I mean, he did ask what was on the buffet.
What would yours be? Temp us in with your food related descriptions of your fun parts. Make it as dirty as possible! it’s Christmas after all and I’m tipsy! "
***
So what was on the buffet?
All you can eat?
Anal buffet?
Oyster?
FLAP jack?
 |
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"Perfectly matured , succulent juicy sausage , melts in your mouth, one taste and you’ll be wanting more "
That’s a great description but not as good as finger blasting, pussy fisting Jedi master! |
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"Warmed up stale leftovers
Warmed up? Cold more like!
You need to turn me on first Kai.
"
That seems like an awful lot of effort. I'm old and don't have the boundless enthusiasm of energy of Brucey |
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"Perfectly matured , succulent juicy sausage , melts in your mouth, one taste and you’ll be wanting more
That’s a great description but not as good as finger blasting, pussy fisting Jedi master! "
I'm not convinced this type of sausage benefits from having the melt in the mouth trait. |
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"I’ve just offered someone I’ve been flirting with, my pair of hairy plums.
I think she may even be tempted  "
Who in their right mind would turn down a pair of juicy plums?! Of course she’s tempted |
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"Perfectly matured , succulent juicy sausage , melts in your mouth, one taste and you’ll be wanting more
That’s a great description but not as good as finger blasting, pussy fisting Jedi master!
I'm not convinced this type of sausage benefits from having the melt in the mouth trait."
Maybe an explosion of juicy flavour then lol |
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"Perfectly matured , succulent juicy sausage , melts in your mouth, one taste and you’ll be wanting more
That’s a great description but not as good as finger blasting, pussy fisting Jedi master!
I'm not convinced this type of sausage benefits from having the melt in the mouth trait.
Maybe an explosion of juicy flavour then lol"
Much better! |
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"I’ve just offered out my sweet, pink, succulent, sticky maple glazed roasted ham to a gent I’ve been flirting with.
I obviously meant my fanny but I mean, he did ask what was on the buffet.
What would yours be? Temp us in with your food related descriptions of your fun parts. Make it as dirty as possible! it’s Christmas after all and I’m tipsy! "
What an incredibly lucky man.
Not mine but the below did make me laugh relating to a breakfast feast:
The "penis" is the greatest breakfast ever !! According to doctors ..
It has a mushroom head,
a hot dog body,
two eggs and milk which provides nutrients.
Thus making ladies healthy.
Besides it has 3 good manners too ::
1) It's very courteous; it stands before it performs
2) It is very emotional; it weeps during performance
3) It is polite; it bows after performing. |
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"I’ve just offered out my sweet, pink, succulent, sticky maple glazed roasted ham to a gent I’ve been flirting with.
I obviously meant my fanny but I mean, he did ask what was on the buffet.
What would yours be? Temp us in with your food related descriptions of your fun parts. Make it as dirty as possible! it’s Christmas after all and I’m tipsy!
What an incredibly lucky man.
Not mine but the below did make me laugh relating to a breakfast feast:
The "penis" is the greatest breakfast ever !! According to doctors ..
It has a mushroom head,
a hot dog body,
two eggs and milk which provides nutrients.
Thus making ladies healthy.
Besides it has 3 good manners too ::
1) It's very courteous; it stands before it performs
2) It is very emotional; it weeps during performance
3) It is polite; it bows after performing."
Who doesn’t love a polite and courteous mushroom head  |
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"I’ve just offered out my sweet, pink, succulent, sticky maple glazed roasted ham to a gent I’ve been flirting with.
I obviously meant my fanny but I mean, he did ask what was on the buffet.
What would yours be? Temp us in with your food related descriptions of your fun parts. Make it as dirty as possible! it’s Christmas after all and I’m tipsy!
What an incredibly lucky man.
Not mine but the below did make me laugh relating to a breakfast feast:
The "penis" is the greatest breakfast ever !! According to doctors ..
It has a mushroom head,
a hot dog body,
two eggs and milk which provides nutrients.
Thus making ladies healthy.
Besides it has 3 good manners too ::
1) It's very courteous; it stands before it performs
2) It is very emotional; it weeps during performance
3) It is polite; it bows after performing.
Who doesn’t love a polite and courteous mushroom head "
I do believe that one should always do their best to mind their manners and be respectful
And when a beautiful succulent glazed ham is offered, one should make every attempt to devour every inch until fully satisfied |
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By (user no longer on site) 52 weeks ago
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"This entire thread confirms my suspicions that I am indeed crap at flirting 
J
I’m sure that’s not true J "
Good thing you put the wink on there or she wouldn’t have got that this too was flirting |
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"This entire thread confirms my suspicions that I am indeed crap at flirting
J"
You pulled me ages ago.
I'd be chasing you down and cornering you (in a consensual and flirty way, obvs) if the realities of my FAB needs were more flexible.
I mean, not that you'd necessarily be interested in me.
Pah! Who am I kidding? I'm irresistibly persuasive  xxxx
|
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"Mmmm..an entrée of chlamydia chowder I think?
Main course to be a cyst-infused sausage, basted in a piquant blue cheese sauce.
Pudding - chocolate dangleberries al dente.
Irresistible ."
Yummy! Where do I sign up? |
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By (user no longer on site) 52 weeks ago
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"Give me a tease of your Juicy goodness now!!!
*taste. … but still works.
My ham is resting ready for the feast "
‘ I’d like to book a table for that all you can eat’ please |
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Thought you might have offered up your two big cucumbers to the group looks like there’s enough for every 