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Some pointers for the big night
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"If you're feeling adventurous follow this... You need a really nice robust tart, we're looking for a really nice broad, the most popular bird in the country. Flexible body, semi-firm breasts, but quite bouncy Then just lift up the skirt.. and then they get excited so they look wet.. open up the legs, two beautiful thighs. Three fingers, get your hand and almost treat your hand like a sort of whisk. Push your fingers in there and it's nice and moist and smelling very fragrant, and that confirms she's ready for up-and-down motion. That's not rocket science is it, that's common sense... DO NOT be scared of the bottom, DON'T WORRY! That's classed as the dark-brown, Rolls-Royce part, it's full of flavour, so treat it with some respect. Get REALLY comfortable, and then turn her over.. and bang, up THE BUTT! This is where you need a small knob, imagine you're holding a tennis racket or a little whisk, and then, a confident grip, firm... push.. push push push. Straight in the butt crack. Get it in there, just up and down, up and down. It feels and sounds a little bit weird, and it's SO easy to cream in literally minutes. The secret now is to make sure that we definitely don't go for a pee. *slaps hands* Hold back and WAIT... ... ... *slaps hand* BANG! It pops out You get to release it from the bottom, and just drip a really nice creamy liquid down the bottom to give it some form of decoration. Then, just almost a little tap and let it drizzle out. Now don't touch your face, especially your eyes, it smells like FISH. It's strong, slightly sour, but it's creamy and it's packed with GREASE! Mmmm that smells amazing! Ps. this is a badly written cooking recipe "Bloody hell. I'm just gonna go to ASDA...  | |||
"If you're feeling adventurous follow this... You need a really nice robust tart, we're looking for a really nice broad, the most popular bird in the country. Flexible body, semi-firm breasts, but quite bouncy Then just lift up the skirt.. and then they get excited so they look wet.. open up the legs, two beautiful thighs. Three fingers, get your hand and almost treat your hand like a sort of whisk. Push your fingers in there and it's nice and moist and smelling very fragrant, and that confirms she's ready for up-and-down motion. That's not rocket science is it, that's common sense... DO NOT be scared of the bottom, DON'T WORRY! That's classed as the dark-brown, Rolls-Royce part, it's full of flavour, so treat it with some respect. Get REALLY comfortable, and then turn her over.. and bang, up THE BUTT! This is where you need a small knob, imagine you're holding a tennis racket or a little whisk, and then, a confident grip, firm... push.. push push push. Straight in the butt crack. Get it in there, just up and down, up and down. It feels and sounds a little bit weird, and it's SO easy to cream in literally minutes. The secret now is to make sure that we definitely don't go for a pee. *slaps hands* Hold back and WAIT... ... ... *slaps hand* BANG! It pops out You get to release it from the bottom, and just drip a really nice creamy liquid down the bottom to give it some form of decoration. Then, just almost a little tap and let it drizzle out. Now don't touch your face, especially your eyes, it smells like FISH. It's strong, slightly sour, but it's creamy and it's packed with GREASE! Mmmm that smells amazing! Ps. this is a badly written cooking recipe
Bloody hell.
I'm just gonna go to ASDA... "Pick me up some more eggnog. I’m not nearly d*unk enough to be in the forums today | |||
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"WTF did I just read? " A badly written recipe, or maybe it's badly written erotica.. or BOTH! | |||
"Sod the Eggnogg, I'm going straight onto neat JD Fire after that, but whatever your poison is my dear. Drink it by the pint... I'll get you half a dozen bottles. I think you'll need it." You need stronger brain bleach than that... | |||
