FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Buying her lingerie - one for the ladies
Buying her lingerie - one for the ladies
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By (user no longer on site) OP 49 weeks ago
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Hey,
A question for the ladies….
So I have someone who I recently purchased lingerie for ( something I like to do ), just a little token for Christmas etc etc and it’s a nice thing to do, no alternative motives or agendas just a gift.
She basically said, You don’t need to do that etc etc but I’m smiley angry with you haha, if that makes any sense. Like not angry but I should be.
Do woman over think things when a guy gives you a small token or just you know, that’s for you kinda thing??
Or am I over thinking it haha  |
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I would assume an ulterior motive if a platonic male friend bought me lingerie. It's a very personal thing in my opinion and experience has unfortunately taught me that 98% of men will want/expect something in return for a gift such as that. I'd look askance if a platonic woman friend bought me lingerie to be honest
I accept that you were just giving a gift though |
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"That’s why I’m asking
It’s not plutonic it’s, we met on FAB. Would you still over think it? "
I wouldn't overthink in the first place. I'd be annoyed though because it would make me feel slightly awkward |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 49 weeks ago
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"That’s why I’m asking
It’s not plutonic it’s, we met on FAB. Would you still over think it?
I wouldn't overthink in the first place. I'd be annoyed though because it would make me feel slightly awkward"
Interesting! |
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"I've done this before - always with the consent of the ladies in question.
Although one of them has ghosted me since. 
She obviously didn't like being dressed from top to toe in blue 
What woman wouldn't? "
One it would seem |
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"I've done this before - always with the consent of the ladies in question.
Although one of them has ghosted me since.
She obviously didn't like being dressed from top to toe in blue
What woman wouldn't?
One it would seem "
Well, yeah. In hind sight, but she did initially say it was OK. |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"Hey,
A question for the ladies….
So I have someone who I recently purchased lingerie for ( something I like to do ), just a little token for Christmas etc etc and it’s a nice thing to do, no alternative motives or agendas just a gift.
She basically said, You don’t need to do that etc etc but I’m smiley angry with you haha, if that makes any sense. Like not angry but I should be.
Do woman over think things when a guy gives you a small token or just you know, that’s for you kinda thing??
Or am I over thinking it haha "
Sounds like your overthinking remember it’s the thought that counts   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 49 weeks ago
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"It depends really but if I wasn't expecting it and had nothing to give in return I'd be embarrassed.
Em x"
I never give to receive, this is something which I have come to experience over time.
I’ve been raised in the sense you give because you want too, never to receive.
It’s like I go to a coffee shop with a friend / colleague, I always ask do you want anything….never in the mind that they owe me a coffee etc etc. |
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"Hey,
A question for the ladies….
So I have someone whom I recently purchased lingerie for ( something I like to do ), just a little token for Christmas etc and it’s a nice thing to do, no alternative motives or agendas just a gift.
She basically said, You don’t need to do that etc etc but I’m smiley angry with you haha, if that makes any sense. Like not angry but I should be.
Do woman over think things when a guy gives you a small token or just you know, that’s for you kinda thing??
Or am I over thinking it haha "
I had never got lingerie as a gift from anybody, I would love a man choosing something suitable for me (I would pay though). Big turn on |
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"It depends really but if I wasn't expecting it and had nothing to give in return I'd be embarrassed.
Em x
Not everyone gives to receive. "
I get that it's when it's for Christmas or Valentine's Day, when exchanging gifts is a thing.
Feel a bit of a dick when you're handed something unexpectedly .
Em x |
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"It depends really but if I wasn't expecting it and had nothing to give in return I'd be embarrassed.
Em x
Not everyone gives to receive.
I get that it's when it's for Christmas or Valentine's Day, when exchanging gifts is a thing.
Feel a bit of a dick when you're handed something unexpectedly .
Em x"
I'd never do it without her permission. Definitely awkward otherwise. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 49 weeks ago
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"It depends really but if I wasn't expecting it and had nothing to give in return I'd be embarrassed.
Em x
It's awkward isn't it.
The worst.
I start calculating where the nearest shop is  "
Blimey! |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"Oh I should have made that clear,
We met on FAB, we ain’t plutonic haha "
I’d still wonder why personally. “is he buttering me up” “Is he doing this in hope of more”.
I’m sure you’re genuine and just doing it because you enjoy it, but there are so many who gift to receive so it can make you wary. |
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"It depends really but if I wasn't expecting it and had nothing to give in return I'd be embarrassed.
Em x
I never give to receive, this is something which I have come to experience over time.
I’ve been raised in the sense you give because you want too, never to receive.
It’s like I go to a coffee shop with a friend / colleague, I always ask do you want anything….never in the mind that they owe me a coffee etc etc."
I do that too but as I said to chunky it's awkward if it's for a known gift swapping time like Christmas etc.
Em x |
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"It depends really but if I wasn't expecting it and had nothing to give in return I'd be embarrassed.
Em x
I never give to receive, this is something which I have come to experience over time.
I’ve been raised in the sense you give because you want too, never to receive.
It’s like I go to a coffee shop with a friend / colleague, I always ask do you want anything….never in the mind that they owe me a coffee etc etc."
I don't think many people do give to receive but I think that part of giving is taking into consideration how the recipient might feel about it. |
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"It depends really but if I wasn't expecting it and had nothing to give in return I'd be embarrassed.
Em x
It's awkward isn't it.
The worst.
I start calculating where the nearest shop is "
Nothing says Christmas like a petrol can and a bag of M and Ms |
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"It depends really but if I wasn't expecting it and had nothing to give in return I'd be embarrassed.
Em x
It's awkward isn't it.
The worst.
I start calculating where the nearest shop is
Nothing says Christmas like a petrol can and a bag of M and Ms "
Let's not forget the bag of kindling. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 49 weeks ago
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"It depends really but if I wasn't expecting it and had nothing to give in return I'd be embarrassed.
Em x
It's awkward isn't it.
The worst.
I start calculating where the nearest shop is
Nothing says Christmas like a petrol can and a bag of M and Ms "
Hahahahaha, this made me chuckle! |
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My mum was a great gift giver, she loved it. Whenever anyone gave her anything she'd complain that she didn't want anything and they shouldn't have done it. Eventually I had to take her to one side and tell her that other people enjoy giving too and she was denying them that pleasure, she was also borderline offending them |
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"It depends really but if I wasn't expecting it and had nothing to give in return I'd be embarrassed.
Em x
It's awkward isn't it.
The worst.
I start calculating where the nearest shop is
Nothing says Christmas like a petrol can and a bag of M and Ms
Let's not forget the bag of kindling. "
Usually in festive red netting  |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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And I don't think it's over thinking to question the motives of a FWB buying a gift like that.
I've only ever been bought lingerie by long term and primary partners |
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"It depends really but if I wasn't expecting it and had nothing to give in return I'd be embarrassed.
Em x
It's awkward isn't it.
The worst.
I start calculating where the nearest shop is
Nothing says Christmas like a petrol can and a bag of M and Ms "
Petrol stations around here understand the assignment,they've got gift sets and all sorts |
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"It depends really but if I wasn't expecting it and had nothing to give in return I'd be embarrassed.
Em x
It's awkward isn't it.
The worst.
I start calculating where the nearest shop is
Nothing says Christmas like a petrol can and a bag of M and Ms
Petrol stations around here understand the assignment,they've got gift sets and all sorts "
Even blue underwear? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 49 weeks ago
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"I wouldn't want anyone buying me lingerie I hadn't chosen and tried on myself. I'm very particular."
I did do my due diligence and find out her favourite brand / store
But yes I agree, very personal like jewellery. |
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"It depends really but if I wasn't expecting it and had nothing to give in return I'd be embarrassed.
Em x
It's awkward isn't it.
The worst.
I start calculating where the nearest shop is
Nothing says Christmas like a petrol can and a bag of M and Ms
Petrol stations around here understand the assignment,they've got gift sets and all sorts
Even blue underwear? "
Unfortunately not |
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"It depends really but if I wasn't expecting it and had nothing to give in return I'd be embarrassed.
Em x
It's awkward isn't it.
The worst.
I start calculating where the nearest shop is
Nothing says Christmas like a petrol can and a bag of M and Ms
Petrol stations around here understand the assignment,they've got gift sets and all sorts "
In the early 80s a male colleague did his Christmas shopping on 24th in a discount chemist and just picked up anything. His grandmother opened a spray feminine deodorant and was deeply insulted |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 49 weeks ago
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"It depends really but if I wasn't expecting it and had nothing to give in return I'd be embarrassed.
Em x
It's awkward isn't it.
The worst.
I start calculating where the nearest shop is
Nothing says Christmas like a petrol can and a bag of M and Ms
Petrol stations around here understand the assignment,they've got gift sets and all sorts
In the early 80s a male colleague did his Christmas shopping on 24th in a discount chemist and just picked up anything. His grandmother opened a spray feminine deodorant and was deeply insulted "
I mean what did he think the response would be haha ….Its what I’ve always wanted haha! |
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"It depends really but if I wasn't expecting it and had nothing to give in return I'd be embarrassed.
Em x
It's awkward isn't it.
The worst.
I start calculating where the nearest shop is
Nothing says Christmas like a petrol can and a bag of M and Ms
Petrol stations around here understand the assignment,they've got gift sets and all sorts
In the early 80s a male colleague did his Christmas shopping on 24th in a discount chemist and just picked up anything. His grandmother opened a spray feminine deodorant and was deeply insulted "
My soul would leave my body |
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"It depends really but if I wasn't expecting it and had nothing to give in return I'd be embarrassed.
Em x
It's awkward isn't it.
The worst.
I start calculating where the nearest shop is
Nothing says Christmas like a petrol can and a bag of M and Ms
Petrol stations around here understand the assignment,they've got gift sets and all sorts
In the early 80s a male colleague did his Christmas shopping on 24th in a discount chemist and just picked up anything. His grandmother opened a spray feminine deodorant and was deeply insulted
I mean what did he think the response would be haha ….Its what I’ve always wanted haha!"
He didn't realise what he'd bought, he just picked up anything. Once his mum told him he was mortally embarrassed |
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"It depends really but if I wasn't expecting it and had nothing to give in return I'd be embarrassed.
Em x
It's awkward isn't it.
The worst.
I start calculating where the nearest shop is
Nothing says Christmas like a petrol can and a bag of M and Ms
Petrol stations around here understand the assignment,they've got gift sets and all sorts
In the early 80s a male colleague did his Christmas shopping on 24th in a discount chemist and just picked up anything. His grandmother opened a spray feminine deodorant and was deeply insulted
My soul would leave my body "
It was certainly an awkward lunch. I bet he still wakes up at night sweating |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 49 weeks ago
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"Hey,
A question for the ladies….
So I have someone whom I recently purchased lingerie for ( something I like to do ), just a little token for Christmas etc and it’s a nice thing to do, no alternative motives or agendas just a gift.
She basically said, You don’t need to do that etc etc but I’m smiley angry with you haha, if that makes any sense. Like not angry but I should be.
Do woman over think things when a guy gives you a small token or just you know, that’s for you kinda thing??
Or am I over thinking it haha
I had never got lingerie as a gift from anybody, I would love a man choosing something suitable for me (I would pay though). Big turn on "
I once shows a pair of heels for someone.
You answer made me think..so
Many women married or with partners have said this, never been bought like a personal gift. I find this shocking! |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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I wouldn't overthink it but I would feel uncomfortable. It's not the same for me, were friendly not actually friends. I wouldn't call a fab friend with a problem or go out with them for a drink etc. It's sex end of.
That's me though, depends on how you've defined your whatever you want to call it ha. |
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"Hey,
A question for the ladies….
So I have someone whom I recently purchased lingerie for ( something I like to do ), just a little token for Christmas etc and it’s a nice thing to do, no alternative motives or agendas just a gift.
She basically said, You don’t need to do that etc etc but I’m smiley angry with you haha, if that makes any sense. Like not angry but I should be.
Do woman over think things when a guy gives you a small token or just you know, that’s for you kinda thing??
Or am I over thinking it haha
I had never got lingerie as a gift from anybody, I would love a man choosing something suitable for me (I would pay though). Big turn on
I once shows a pair of heels for someone.
You answer made me think..so
Many women married or with partners have said this, never been bought like a personal gift. I find this shocking!"
Why? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 49 weeks ago
|
"Hey,
A question for the ladies….
So I have someone whom I recently purchased lingerie for ( something I like to do ), just a little token for Christmas etc and it’s a nice thing to do, no alternative motives or agendas just a gift.
She basically said, You don’t need to do that etc etc but I’m smiley angry with you haha, if that makes any sense. Like not angry but I should be.
Do woman over think things when a guy gives you a small token or just you know, that’s for you kinda thing??
Or am I over thinking it haha
I had never got lingerie as a gift from anybody, I would love a man choosing something suitable for me (I would pay though). Big turn on
I once shows a pair of heels for someone.
You answer made me think..so
Many women married or with partners have said this, never been bought like a personal gift. I find this shocking!
Why? "
I suppose my thinking has always been as a man why wouldn’t you get something intimate for your partner / lover , just my thinking |
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"That’s why I’m asking
It’s not plutonic it’s, we met on FAB. Would you still over think it?
I'd be really chuffed if anyone bought me anything! It's usually me buying people gifts."
You may get a message from the OP. |
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"It depends really but if I wasn't expecting it and had nothing to give in return I'd be embarrassed.
Em x
Not everyone gives to receive.
I get that it's when it's for Christmas or Valentine's Day, when exchanging gifts is a thing.
Feel a bit of a dick when you're handed something unexpectedly .
Em x"
See, me and my friends do this all the time, it's our "love language" even if it's just a favourite chocolate bar. I'm always baking and giving cake to people, I don't expect anything in return. |
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By *ddie1966Man 49 weeks ago
Paper Town Central, Essex. |
Many ladies have already said exactly what I think on this thread.
If you buy a lady underwear, who are you actually buying if for?
For heavens sake, let her choose it.
And never buy a lady perfume that she's never smelt or heard of.
Unwritten rules a man should never break.
However, these rules should never be adhered to when the lady does the buying.
You have been warned !!! |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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I would think it odd if anyone I met on on Fab brought me anything let alone undies. But then that's me but can see how maybe people who have more than NSA may do this. Each to their own but guess you both need to be in (sorry going to say it) the same place. |
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