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By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
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Did you know that the reason the cock helmet is shaped like a mushroom is because in caveman days, all the men would take turns spunking inside the women to procreate, the helmet rim scooped out the other mens spunk to give you a better chance to be the one who breeds her.
The things you learn on a GB organisers Fabs profile at 5:30AM.
What things have you learned on Fabs profiles?  |
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"You shouldn't believe everything you read on the internet.
Abraham Lincoln said that!"
 
Indeed he did. As well as "everything's a dildo if you try hard enough". True visionary.
Did you also know OP that birdies, once so often believed to pair up and be monogamous, are now known, across multiple species, to pair up and play away secretly in the bushes?
Using the equivalent of their mushroom helmet to sperm-scoop from the girly-bird.
It's true - Abe Lincoln said so. |
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"Did you know that the reason the cock helmet is shaped like a mushroom is because in caveman days, all the men would take turns spunking inside the women to procreate, the helmet rim scooped out the other mens spunk to give you a better chance to be the one who breeds her"
Are there any cave paintings depicting this ? |
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"So what happens when we do anal? 
Well, we group-scoop from your bum, and then group-insert into your fanny I guess?
Evolution's too clever to waste an opportunity ya know  ."
All this information and all I’ve learned is that I’ve grown a fanny |
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"Did you know that the reason the cock helmet is shaped like a mushroom is because in caveman days, all the men would take turns spunking inside the women to procreate, the helmet rim scooped out the other mens spunk to give you a better chance to be the one who breeds her
Are there any cave paintings depicting this ?"
 . No but there are some of men running around with giant erections. This leads me to infee that nothing changes and the cock pic is as old as humanity itself |
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"So what happens when we do anal?
Well, we group-scoop from your bum, and then group-insert into your fanny I guess?
Evolution's too clever to waste an opportunity ya know .
All this information and all I’ve learned is that I’ve grown a fanny "
Brilliant! |
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"Did you know that the reason the cock helmet is shaped like a mushroom is because in caveman days, all the men would take turns spunking inside the women to procreate, the helmet rim scooped out the other mens spunk to give you a better chance to be the one who breeds her
Are there any cave paintings depicting this ?
. No but there are some of men running around with giant erections. This leads me to infee that nothing changes and the cock pic is as old as humanity itself "
Especially the ones next to wild lynxes  . |
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"Did you know that the reason the cock helmet is shaped like a mushroom is because in caveman days, all the men would take turns spunking inside the women to procreate, the helmet rim scooped out the other mens spunk to give you a better chance to be the one who breeds her
Are there any cave paintings depicting this ?
. No but there are some of men running around with giant erections. This leads me to infee that nothing changes and the cock pic is as old as humanity itself "
Cavewomen ignored and deleted them then too |
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"Did you know that the reason the cock helmet is shaped like a mushroom is because in caveman days, all the men would take turns spunking inside the women to procreate, the helmet rim scooped out the other mens spunk to give you a better chance to be the one who breeds her
Are there any cave paintings depicting this ?
. No but there are some of men running around with giant erections. This leads me to infee that nothing changes and the cock pic is as old as humanity itself
Especially the ones next to wild lynxes ."
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"Did you know that the reason the cock helmet is shaped like a mushroom is because in caveman days, all the men would take turns spunking inside the women to procreate, the helmet rim scooped out the other mens spunk to give you a better chance to be the one who breeds her
Are there any cave paintings depicting this ?
. No but there are some of men running around with giant erections. This leads me to infee that nothing changes and the cock pic is as old as humanity itself
Cavewomen ignored and deleted them then too"
yep.
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"Did you know that the reason the cock helmet is shaped like a mushroom is because in caveman days, all the men would take turns spunking inside the women to procreate, the helmet rim scooped out the other mens spunk to give you a better chance to be the one who breeds her
Are there any cave paintings depicting this ?
. No but there are some of men running around with giant erections. This leads me to infee that nothing changes and the cock pic is as old as humanity itself
Cavewomen ignored and deleted them then too
yep.
"
Leading to cavemen having a go on other cavemen and the eventual demise of the caveman. |
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"Did you know that the reason the cock helmet is shaped like a mushroom is because in caveman days, all the men would take turns spunking inside the women to procreate, the helmet rim scooped out the other mens spunk to give you a better chance to be the one who breeds her
Are there any cave paintings depicting this ?
. No but there are some of men running around with giant erections. This leads me to infee that nothing changes and the cock pic is as old as humanity itself
Cavewomen ignored and deleted them then too
yep.
Leading to cavemen having a go on other cavemen and the eventual demise of the caveman. "
I reckon caveman took comfort where he could find it. Those mammoth hunting trips were long and a caveman gets lonely |
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"Granted its past the stone age, but there is an Egyptian cave painting of a female pharaoh taking it doggy style..."
Aaahhh...so that's what walk like an Egyptian means.
Gingerly, and a little sore. |
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"Did you know that the reason the cock helmet is shaped like a mushroom is because in caveman days, all the men would take turns spunking inside the women to procreate, the helmet rim scooped out the other mens spunk to give you a better chance to be the one who breeds her.
The things you learn on a GB organisers Fabs profile at 5:30AM.
What things have you learned on Fabs profiles? "
That's not "entirely" true...
The shape bit is right, but that the idea that the men of "the village" queued up to "have a go" is a bit of a (rather British) fantasy. The reality will be based on a more animalistic rating practice, where the females would be accosted and "mated with" without choice if they were unable to fight off the specific male.
Thankfully we have (mostly) evolved away from that type of practice. |
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I tend to agree with the theory and it is only theory because nobody can actually know, that prehistoric humans were far more cultured and had much more developed societies and social rules than we give them credit for. Every generation interprets the scant evidence based on current attitudes but we'll never know if women were dragged back to the cave or more sophisticated courting rituals were common. I do think we should give early man more credit though |
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"I tend to agree with the theory and it is only theory because nobody can actually know, that prehistoric humans were far more cultured and had much more developed societies and social rules than we give them credit for. Every generation interprets the scant evidence based on current attitudes but we'll never know if women were dragged back to the cave or more sophisticated courting rituals were common. I do think we should give early man more credit though"
Going back to your "Venus/porn" comment - it's also highly likely that porn and fertility "gods" were probably comfortably intertwined as the same concept.
Language, classifications, divisions of labour, gendered-roles, hierarchies (particularly patriarchal version thereof) all seem to have emerged out of something far more holistic and less fragmented beforehand.
Think Lévi-Strauss, or Julian Jaynes, Joseph Campbell etc.
Going back to pre-cave though, I also like to hope we're more bonobo (conflict-resolve through happy shagging and cuddles) than chimp (conflict-resolve through beating up the weak).
Our DNA is as similar to bonobo as chimp, but our culture for at least 12,000 years has been more chimp.
Be more bonobo, good people x |
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"Did you know that the reason the cock helmet is shaped like a mushroom is because in caveman days, all the men would take turns spunking inside the women to procreate, the helmet rim scooped out the other mens spunk to give you a better chance to be the one who breeds her.
The things you learn on a GB organisers Fabs profile at 5:30AM.
What things have you learned on Fabs profiles?
That's not "entirely" true...
The shape bit is right, but that the idea that the men of "the village" queued up to "have a go" is a bit of a (rather British) fantasy. The reality will be based on a more animalistic rating practice, where the females would be accosted and "mated with" without choice if they were unable to fight off the specific male.
Thankfully we have (mostly) evolved away from that type of practice."
The caveman with the biggest club got the spoils? The BCC lovers. |
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"I tend to agree with the theory and it is only theory because nobody can actually know, that prehistoric humans were far more cultured and had much more developed societies and social rules than we give them credit for. Every generation interprets the scant evidence based on current attitudes but we'll never know if women were dragged back to the cave or more sophisticated courting rituals were common. I do think we should give early man more credit though
Going back to your "Venus/porn" comment - it's also highly likely that porn and fertility "gods" were probably comfortably intertwined as the same concept.
Language, classifications, divisions of labour, gendered-roles, hierarchies (particularly patriarchal version thereof) all seem to have emerged out of something far more holistic and less fragmented beforehand.
Think Lévi-Strauss, or Julian Jaynes, Joseph Campbell etc.
Going back to pre-cave though, I also like to hope we're more bonobo (conflict-resolve through happy shagging and cuddles) than chimp (conflict-resolve through beating up the weak).
Our DNA is as similar to bonobo as chimp, but our culture for at least 12,000 years has been more chimp.
Be more bonobo, good people x "
What I find so fascinating about the whole thing is that we just don't know. There are endless possibilities and it occupies my mind wonderfully on boring bus journeys. |
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"I tend to agree with the theory and it is only theory because nobody can actually know, that prehistoric humans were far more cultured and had much more developed societies and social rules than we give them credit for. Every generation interprets the scant evidence based on current attitudes but we'll never know if women were dragged back to the cave or more sophisticated courting rituals were common. I do think we should give early man more credit though
Going back to your "Venus/porn" comment - it's also highly likely that porn and fertility "gods" were probably comfortably intertwined as the same concept.
Language, classifications, divisions of labour, gendered-roles, hierarchies (particularly patriarchal version thereof) all seem to have emerged out of something far more holistic and less fragmented beforehand.
Think Lévi-Strauss, or Julian Jaynes, Joseph Campbell etc.
Going back to pre-cave though, I also like to hope we're more bonobo (conflict-resolve through happy shagging and cuddles) than chimp (conflict-resolve through beating up the weak).
Our DNA is as similar to bonobo as chimp, but our culture for at least 12,000 years has been more chimp.
Be more bonobo, good people x
What I find so fascinating about the whole thing is that we just don't know. There are endless possibilities and it occupies my mind wonderfully on boring bus journeys. "
Hey!
I know!
I'm cleverer than anyone, and....
....oh fuck...
...err....
I just chimped, didn't I?
Muuummmmyyyyyyy.... x |
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"Did you know that the reason the cock helmet is shaped like a mushroom is because in caveman days, all the men would take turns spunking inside the women to procreate, the helmet rim scooped out the other mens spunk to give you a better chance to be the one who breeds her.
I question that logic entirely as it has nothing to do with why blokes helmets are the way they are. Plus I’m hoping at some point a woman will jump on here and set the record straight, that when a guy ejaculates it doesn’t just seeps out and sits plumb in the vaginal cannel that can be easily scooped out like that hahahahaha. Morning after pill please, ahh just use a teaspoon and you’ll be grand hahaha x
The things you learn on a GB organisers Fabs profile at 5:30AM.
What things have you learned on Fabs profiles? "
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Human evolution that's physical, not behavioural, would likely spam many generations, where men born with increased helmet size conferring adaptive benefits, were more prone to reproduce. When it occurred I'm assuming is uncertain but it would have been a gradual process |
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"Human evolution that's physical, not behavioural, would likely spam many generations, where men born with increased helmet size conferring adaptive benefits, were more prone to reproduce. When it occurred I'm assuming is uncertain but it would have been a gradual process "
I agree. |
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"The other thing I've learned is that certain portions of a guy's cum may have spermicidal properties . The earlier end latter parts may help to kill off another guys sperm "
And I've learned to re-title my poem from "My Soul Sleeps Tender In Paradise" to "The Dead Cry Foul In The Murder Valleys Of Klunge"  . |
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"So what happens when we do anal?
You get a sore arse?
Lol"
I love the way threads turn into some new thing going in totally unplanned directions.
"Caveman sperm helmet" morphs into "anal gives you a sore bum".
Beats Xmas shopping!
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Is this a tick tick video fact? 
