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By (user no longer on site) OP 51 weeks ago
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Is there a fine line or is it very blurred?
Needing a connection is often thrown about in here over the years, I’ve said it, they’ve said it nobody said it! But there a degree of these things being the same?
I know some swing with nsa. I’m targeting answers from people who need more than just a date and time, but are happy swinging and not looking for a 1-1 monogamous relationship.
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A close swinging friend who’s spent about a decade in the scene, predominantly playing with single girls, has unshaken opinions; his primary view being all single girls who swing actually want a relationship rather than NSA.
He’ll regale you at length on the subject and agrees the definitions of relationships differ significantly, but at heart, it’s a connected relationship that women seek!
As a swinger of two decades and counting myself, I’ve never been one for single girls as such, preferring the couple dynamics, so I’ve never been able to counter argument him; that said, I’ve seen many try on many a bar stool 
Ultimately, each their own |
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"What are the definitions?"
Swinging is partner swapping, polyamory is is having love / romantic feeling for multiple partners. Poly means many, Amore means love.
But people will waffle for hours & make up their own definitions to suit their own agenda
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By *eliWoman 51 weeks ago
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Well... both fall under the ethical non-monogamy umbrella so not lying and definitely not cheating are very important - you can't say you're poly if you're cheating/lying, you're not. You're a person who thinks it sounds good and wants to adopt the label.
I think that swinging is more... no feelings involved. A connection isn't the same as having feelings for another person. Poly is ethically embracing the fact that you can have deep feelings for more than one person at a time. Enjoying having that.
You can be poly and love sex - it doesn't mean that every person you meet you want to start dating or grow feelings for. But there's the possibility you can.
I think swinging you're more closed off to developing feelings for others. It's not something that crosses your mind.
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"Well... both fall under the ethical non-monogamy umbrella so not lying and definitely not cheating are very important - you can't say you're poly if you're cheating/lying, you're not. You're a person who thinks it sounds good and wants to adopt the label.
I think that swinging is more... no feelings involved. A connection isn't the same as having feelings for another person. Poly is ethically embracing the fact that you can have deep feelings for more than one person at a time. Enjoying having that.
You can be poly and love sex - it doesn't mean that every person you meet you want to start dating or grow feelings for. But there's the possibility you can.
I think swinging you're more closed off to developing feelings for others. It's not something that crosses your mind.
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Very well articulated |
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They are separate. Poly is the emotional being for people who can fall in love and nurture relationships with multiple people at the same time. It's a state of mind, not a lifestyle choice 
Swinging is a sexual activity which is adhered to any relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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I can’t draw a line, but I can say this
Every time I’ve met swinger couples, I’ve had no issue
Every “Poly” couple I’ve met, there’s been issues and drama
Take from that what you may |
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I’m a poly swinger, I love sex, I also love easily, they’re not the same thing.
I can enjoy someone’s company and enjoy having sex with them, it doesn’t mean that I want a relationship with them.
The closest reference point I can use is it’s like finding friends; not everyone that you meet will be a friend, occasionally someone who you meet will be. Being poly means that occasionally that friendship can become more, it’s about being open to it.
They’re both under the ENM umbrella, swingers don’t look to one person for their sexual fulfilment, poly folks don’t look to one person for their relationship fulfilment |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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It’s important to me to find connections of sorts but it’s not necessary. As a poly person, I am open to and at times looking for romantic connections with people. But I’m not only looking for that stuff.
I think most people that swing on this site say they want connection but they don’t really want deeper emotional ones as emotionally they’re pretty monogamous. Especially couples in my experience. I think people just don’t want to feel used and they want to be able to have a cuppa before or after the act. |
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"It’s important to me to find connections of sorts but it’s not necessary. As a poly person, I am open to and at times looking for romantic connections with people. But I’m not only looking for that stuff.
I think most people that swing on this site say they want connection but they don’t really want deeper emotional ones as emotionally they’re pretty monogamous. Especially couples in my experience. I think people just don’t want to feel used and they want to be able to have a cuppa before or after the act. "
I agree with you. |
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"I personally think swingers are non monogamous but it’s different to being poly. "
I think it depends on the swingers. Some are incredibly monogamous and their swinging is all about keeping and maintaining the core relationship, others are less so |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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"I personally think swingers are non monogamous but it’s different to being poly.
I think it depends on the swingers. Some are incredibly monogamous and their swinging is all about keeping and maintaining the core relationship, others are less so"
I hear this and was actually having that discussion on a date recently  . But I fundamentally think the act of swinging is inherently not monogamous. To me anyway. |
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"I personally think swingers are non monogamous but it’s different to being poly.
I think it depends on the swingers. Some are incredibly monogamous and their swinging is all about keeping and maintaining the core relationship, others are less so"
I don't think having sex outside of your established relationship can ever be called monogamous. I hear you about some people framing it differently, though. I think it depends on the position you start from. Plus I reckon there are as many different ways to swing as there are to be poly i.e. lots x |
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I suppose it would be more like monoamory than monogamous.
Some people don't want to feel things for people outside of their core relationship. Some people would feel too threatened by their partner feeling for someone else. But just sex is fine.
I prefer to feel something more than a Wang. But people are different. And I do have the occasional dynamic that is purely physical when the sexual chemistry is there but personality wise we're not compatible for anything more than that. |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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"Is there a fine line or is it very blurred?
Needing a connection is often thrown about in here over the years, I’ve said it, they’ve said it nobody said it! But there a degree of these things being the same?
I know some swing with nsa. I’m targeting answers from people who need more than just a date and time, but are happy swinging and not looking for a 1-1 monogamous relationship.
"
Polyamoury refers to relationships not sex |
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