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Comedy arrest reports
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"Shitting on an ex’s doorstep. " Stealing pickles and using them to scare cats | |||
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"Pretending to be a hose pipe at a garden centre, dressed as a gnome, squirting passers by with his love seed." I only did that one time, and they promised the story would never get out  | |||
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"For driving under the influence of Fellatio" Shoplifting a Toblerone in her vagina. | |||
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"For being just too fabulous dahling." For being one of the fabulous collective. | |||
"For being just too fabulous dahling. For being one of the fabulous collective. " For black mailing the PTA  | |||
"For being just too fabulous dahling. For being one of the fabulous collective. For black mailing the PTA "Theft of a wheelbarrow x | |||
"For being just too fabulous dahling. For being one of the fabulous collective. For black mailing the PTA
Theft of a wheelbarrow x "Public sex in said wheelbarrow. | |||
"For being just too fabulous dahling. For being one of the fabulous collective. For black mailing the PTA "Extra mark for that | |||
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"Handling swollen goods." Oh that was good  .
Cruelty to animals - spanking his monkey repeatedly. | |||
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"Exceeding the bounds of his mustache permit" Found trying to nibble his way through all of St Austels mince pies | |||
"Exceeding the bounds of his mustache permit Found trying to nibble his way through all of St Austels mince pies " Bouncing naked on a garden gnomes hat humming a song by Clannad without a public performance licence!! | |||
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"Asking ladies to hide his snowman somewhere warm." Eating my last malteaser | |||
"Asking ladies to hide his snowman somewhere warm. Eating my last malteaser " Gross indecency and being rimming in public!  
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