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It's the law you know!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Subject: law of probability

1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with

grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll

to the least accessible place in the universe.

3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly

proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a

busy signal; someone always answers.

6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you

were in will always move faster than the one you are in.

7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the

telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know

INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen

with.

9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine

won't work, IT WILL!!!

10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely

proportional to the reach.

11. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose

seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who

will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and

who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The

folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or

big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people

also are very surly folk.

12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,

your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is

cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker

room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly

sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness

and cost of the carpet or rug.

15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible IF you don't know

what you are talking about.

16. Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

17. Law of Public Speaking -- A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!!!

18. Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product

that you really like, they will stop making it, OR the store will stop selling

it!!

19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to

the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an

appointment, and you'll stay sick.

Dont know what happened to no 5

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Have you got number 5?

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By *ornieandhotCouple  over a year ago

Peterborough

Was going to ask that happened to it

D x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

One of life's mysteries

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament

2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside-down

3. In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store

just a few ive found

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By *ornieandhotCouple  over a year ago

Peterborough

Well if it turns up let me know hehe

D x

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

If caught short, pregnant women are still allowed to piss in a policemans helmet.

I think that is why they all wear flat caps now

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

4. Mince pies cannot be eaten on Christmas Day

5. In Scotland, if someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter

6. In the UK a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman's helmet

7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the King, and the tail of the Queen

8. It is illegal not to tell the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing

9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armour

10. In the city of York it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow

rest of the list ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament

2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside-down

3. In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store

just a few ive found "

lmao

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

1. In Ohio, it is illegal to get a fish d*unk

2. In Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation

3. In Bahrain, a male doctor can only examine the genitals of a woman in the reflection of a mirror

4. In Switzerland, a man may not relieve himself standing up after 10pm

5. In Alabama, it is illegal to be blindfolded while driving a vehicle

6. In Florida, unmarried women who parachute on a Sunday could be jailed

7. In Vermont, women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth

8. In Milan, it is a legal requirement to smile at all times, except funerals or hospital visits

9. In Japan, there is no age of consent

10. In France, it is illegal to name a pig Napoleon

and a few from our foreign friends

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