Six months and i discussed it with his dad as he discussed it with me when he got into a full term relationship.
When my son met my new man then, i slowly told him about him and then he would speak to him on the phone. Then wwe arraged a day out without him coming back and sleeping here. Then i asked my son if it was ok for him to sleep over and made it perfectly clear that the guy wouldnt come between me and my son. My son was about 7/8 at the time and it worked well for us |
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It is a tough one. My exes kids knew about me for a while and I had spoken to them on the phone. They knew who I was and that their dad was spending time with me. We went for a day out bowling and tea, relaxed. We didn;t show any affectio in front of them so as not to make them feel akward.
His ex took the kids to meet her new man on their 2nd date and they stayed over at his house.
I had my thoughts.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So in your opinion, you wouldn't think it was such a good idea for someone to move in with a woman and her 2 children 3 months after meeting? I also noticed a birthday card from the children to him with 'to a great stepdad' written on the front  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My mum moved her new man in the day after my dad left! I was 7.
There should be more time and care taken with such matters but unfortunately it doesn't always happen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've always waited a considerable time. To be honest I don't think my kids now need to meet any man in my life. Unless he proved himself to be amazing.
I have my family life and then I have my other life.
I think on this there is no right or wrong. As every situation is different. My ex moved out of mine and straight into his new ladies house without having met the kids. And it's worked for them. But obviously not ideal for some.
As long as kids aren't used to get at people I think that the parents just need to be sure.
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"So in your opinion, you wouldn't think it was such a good idea for someone to move in with a woman and her 2 children 3 months after meeting? I also noticed a birthday card from the children to him with 'to a great stepdad' written on the front "
Personall no, i dont actually class relationships to be "proper" relationships until youve gone at least three months seeing them regularly it takes awhile to settle into a new relationship and the last thing you (I) would want is the kids upheavel. But some move in practically over night. We never know where relationships are going to go but if you leave it awhile you give it more of a chance.
I personally think you have to be very careful about the kids.
Even when i met jay i told my son all about him first even though he was 16 and just abut to leave home. We still did the day out somewhere first lol |
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"So in your opinion, you wouldn't think it was such a good idea for someone to move in with a woman and her 2 children 3 months after meeting? I also noticed a birthday card from the children to him with 'to a great stepdad' written on the front "
It is horses for courses I suppose. I don't have kids but I wouldn't move in with someone so soon if there were kids involved. I think kids need stability. But then I fall in and out of lust at he drop of a hat and have deluded myself into believing it was love... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No female or male should ever put a potential new partner,above their kids. For this reason imho it's best to get them to meeet asap,so everyone knows where they stand.
Can cause resentment if you leave it too long and it turns out,they simply don't get along. Nobody should have to choose between a new partner or their kids happiness. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No female or male should ever put a potential new partner,above their kids. For this reason imho it's best to get them to meeet asap,so everyone knows where they stand.
Can cause resentment if you leave it too long and it turns out,they simply don't get along. Nobody should have to choose between a new partner or their kids happiness."
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