FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Please keep it to the thread!
Please keep it to the thread!
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By (user no longer on site) OP 49 weeks ago
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We do see this phrase popping up on here fairly often. For the newbies - it's a polite request not to bother Original Poster (or others) with private messages and comment on their post instead.
How guilty you are of it? Do you get irked with receiving messages via threads or not really as long as they keep to subject? 
Tones |
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Single male, I very rarely need to worry about it.
And unless it is something profound and personal to say, I'll keep it to the thread myself.
The rare few times it has gone off thread, it's been positive. |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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See the "keep it the thread please" irks me!
You're posting in a public forum, people are gonna private message you. Ignore it, delete it.
You aren't special it happens to everyone!
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I have 2 gripes about it.
The small gripe is when people contributing on the thread private message. I usually ignore them.
What irritates me more is lurkers who read the thread, don't contribute and then private message.
I struggle to work out their motivation.
All in all, I tend not to let fab bug me too much, as it kind of defeats the point of it for me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 49 weeks ago
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"Please keep it in my DM 
I wish. "
That's a thread idea. Please keep it in my DM. Say something to someone privately you aren't able to on the public forum? If you are in - be prepared for everything  just brainstorming out loud. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 49 weeks ago
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"Aaah I won't reply to all but keep it coming
I think for me it depends who is texting! And why.
How many DMs have you had so far?"
Shhhh don't give them ideas. This wasn't the point  |
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"That's a thread idea. Please keep it in my DM. Say something to someone privately you aren't able to on the public forum? If you are in - be prepared for everything just brainstorming out loud. "
Do it. Start the thread. |
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"Please keep it in my DM
I wish. "
Apparently I need to do this, seems my thread ideas come about from things said to me in private!
(note I do not disclose things said to me in confidence, all details are private. Just the topic is inspired by conversations). |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 49 weeks ago
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OK. Additional question - if you chose to message via thread - what is it usually what stops you from putting it on the thread and chosing DM instead? I don't mean messaging your friends! |
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"OK. Additional question - if you chose to message via thread - what is it usually what stops you from putting it on the thread and chosing DM instead? I don't mean messaging your friends! "
I’m an extrovert, basically. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 49 weeks ago
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"That's a thread idea. Please keep it in my DM. Say something to someone privately you aren't able to on the public forum? If you are in - be prepared for everything just brainstorming out loud.
Do it. Start the thread. "
It's Woody's if he wants it. If he doesn't- up for grabs two threads a day is more than enough. |
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"OK. Additional question - if you chose to message via thread - what is it usually what stops you from putting it on the thread and chosing DM instead? I don't mean messaging your friends! "
Sensitive or private things that I feel may help the discussion (topic depending), sharing a similar experience for example. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 49 weeks ago
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"OK. Additional question - if you chose to message via thread - what is it usually what stops you from putting it on the thread and chosing DM instead? I don't mean messaging your friends!
Sensitive or private things that I feel may help the discussion (topic depending), sharing a similar experience for example. "
A little gift of trust then. That's my usual reason too. Or not wanting to bump a particular thread for the 100th time seeing I already replied. And then remembered something. And then something else. |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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Not something I really have to worry about.. the odd occasion its happened its been a positive 
Me I tend unless its a message a user thread to keep it to the thread |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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The only time it really bothers me is when someone is clearly using mental health threads to get into your inbox. Not long before these messages turn sexual which makes me doubt the original thread in the first place. |
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"Aaah I won't reply to all but keep it coming
I think for me it depends who is texting! And why.
How many DMs have you had so far?
Shhhh don't give them ideas. This wasn't the point "
It was the first thing I thought to be honest.
Don't press that red button... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 49 weeks ago
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"I have 2 gripes about it.
The small gripe is when people contributing on the thread private message. I usually ignore them.
What irritates me more is lurkers who read the thread, don't contribute and then private message.
I struggle to work out their motivation.
All in all, I tend not to let fab bug me too much, as it kind of defeats the point of it for me. "
I had in the past dms from people who weren't able to post in the forum but wanted to add something to discussion too. |
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I don't normally mind a DM if the rest of the thread has moved on but someone has something interesting to say about what I posted. If it could easily be part of the thread then it annoys me. Or if someone's looking for wank material.
J |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 49 weeks ago
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"I don't normally mind a DM if the rest of the thread has moved on but someone has something interesting to say about what I posted. If it could easily be part of the thread then it annoys me. Or if someone's looking for wank material.
J"
Or its a message on the topic but with a face and cock pic attached from the get go! |
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It normally doesn't bother me and I usually only contact friends and never people I've never spoken to before.
The funniest experience I've had with this and only the second time I've used the keep it in the thread comment was last year when an angry woman started a thread to complain about this very issue and how ridiculous it was.
I commented with a response similar to my first paragraph here and said it wasn't a big issue for me.
Within minutes she messaged me to say I wouldn't say that if I was a woman being pestered all the time.
I honestly don't think she could see the irony and she really wasn't happy when I told her to keep it in the thread. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 49 weeks ago
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"It normally doesn't bother me and I usually only contact friends and never people I've never spoken to before.
The funniest experience I've had with this and only the second time I've used the keep it in the thread comment was last year when an angry woman started a thread to complain about this very issue and how ridiculous it was.
I commented with a response similar to my first paragraph here and said it wasn't a big issue for me.
Within minutes she messaged me to say I wouldn't say that if I was a woman being pestered all the time.
I honestly don't think she could see the irony and she really wasn't happy when I told her to keep it in the thread. "
That's some story
The irony indeed.
I'm not negative about it as such..only in specific circumstances. Just wondered how the forum feels |
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I'm totally fine with private messages. They're not an irritant because in my experience they are mostly: keeping within the context of the thread; a conduit to ask for polite clarification on a specific point; a comment from a newbie or lurker who simply doesn't have the confidence to post publicly (yet) or someone who's looked at my profile and used it as method to engage and befriend. It's not necessarily always about getting into a woman's knickers.
The p+sitive side is that it's sometimes got me into a woman's knickers. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 49 weeks ago
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"The only time it really bothers me is when someone is clearly using mental health threads to get into your inbox. Not long before these messages turn sexual which makes me doubt the original thread in the first place."
Ugh. Picking someone fragile in the hope of cheering her up method ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 49 weeks ago
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"What... you mean people get messages ?  Fuck sake.
Just because you don’t read yours … 
No need to be so accurate and personal
You read mine though, so it's okay  "
You two are doing so well keeping it on the thread  |
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I don't mind people saying something to me privately, but if it's a response to a question then I ask them to reply on the thread.
The point of threads are discussions, but some things can't be said in public. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 49 weeks ago
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"I don't mind people saying something to me privately, but if it's a response to a question then I ask them to reply on the thread.
The point of threads are discussions, but some things can't be said in public. "
So where is the line? Sometimes I wonder if someone is rolling their eyes at me as they might think .. gosh she could have just replied in the post, but they don't really know my reasoning for the private message. The sharing act might seem trivial on the surface but it can be still something difficult for the sharer? |
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I've contacted a few different people off the back of a thread. It's usually to share something I rather not put on the public forum. Or sometimes, it'll be because the OP has returned after a break and I want to say hello, and that wouldn't be relevant to the thread. |
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"The only time it really bothers me is when someone is clearly using mental health threads to get into your inbox. Not long before these messages turn sexual which makes me doubt the original thread in the first place.
Ugh. Picking someone fragile in the hope of cheering her up method ? "
In my experience it's when I've posted a supportive message to a man who was struggling and then had a want to meet message from him.
J |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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I find it funny as fuck when I see those comments. It tickles me
Personally, I'll always keep my replies to the thread because I don't see the benefit of private messaging anyone to say something I can either post on the thread, or quote and reply the person I want to reply to.
I've had people respond to my posts via private messaging and I'm not too fussed. I'll either respond if I'm interested or ignore them if not |
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Not guilty for doing.
And none received...
What's the etiquette for status? My fingers get a bit twitchy towards a message on some status updates but I don't want to be a nuisance.
Oh and sorry, did not keep on the thread topic
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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I am guilty of 'replying privately' from a thread to someone and accept that it can be deleted in which case I won't pester again. It's always been thread related and polite.
I do get the lurkers and depending on the message its a delete (message is cruel or nice tits) or I'll reply with "join in the forums,don't be a lurker" |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"What... you mean people get messages ? Fuck sake.
Just because you don’t read yours …
No need to be so accurate and personal
You read mine though, so it's okay
You two are doing so well keeping it on the thread "
Thanks |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 49 weeks ago
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"Not guilty for doing.
And none received...
What's the etiquette for status? My fingers get a bit twitchy towards a message on some status updates but I don't want to be a nuisance.
Oh and sorry, did not keep on the thread topic
"
It's perfectly fine
Good fun.
Ps. I don't know the "correct" answer. Just dive in ! |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"Not guilty for doing.
And none received...
What's the etiquette for status? My fingers get a bit twitchy towards a message on some status updates but I don't want to be a nuisance.
Oh and sorry, did not keep on the thread topic
It's perfectly fine
Good fun.
Ps. I don't know the "correct" answer. Just dive in ! "
Your fingers get bitchy rather than twitchy, but I'll put so I get away with it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 49 weeks ago
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"Not guilty for doing.
And none received...
What's the etiquette for status? My fingers get a bit twitchy towards a message on some status updates but I don't want to be a nuisance.
Oh and sorry, did not keep on the thread topic
It's perfectly fine
Good fun.
Ps. I don't know the "correct" answer. Just dive in !
Your fingers get bitchy rather than twitchy, but I'll put so I get away with it "
Well spotted
Funny you say that. I've told Miles today it's highest time for him to get a dog so he can boss it around. His reply was - I already have one bitch to train |
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The only time we’ve said this is when someone’s sent us a message direct from a thread telling us a story that they could have easily posted on the thread and they haven’t even commented on the thread at all - I find that a little creepy - like someone’s watching in the shadows
K |
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"I don't mind people saying something to me privately, but if it's a response to a question then I ask them to reply on the thread.
The point of threads are discussions, but some things can't be said in public.
So where is the line? Sometimes I wonder if someone is rolling their eyes at me as they might think .. gosh she could have just replied in the post, but they don't really know my reasoning for the private message. The sharing act might seem trivial on the surface but it can be still something difficult for the sharer?"
If it's something that can be said on a post then it shouldn't be said in private.
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"I have 2 gripes about it.
The small gripe is when people contributing on the thread private message. I usually ignore them.
What irritates me more is lurkers who read the thread, don't contribute and then private message.
I struggle to work out their motivation.
All in all, I tend not to let fab bug me too much, as it kind of defeats the point of it for me. "
Agreed! |
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"I have 2 gripes about it.
The small gripe is when people contributing on the thread private message. I usually ignore them.
What irritates me more is lurkers who read the thread, don't contribute and then private message.
I struggle to work out their motivation.
All in all, I tend not to let fab bug me too much, as it kind of defeats the point of it for me.
I had in the past dms from people who weren't able to post in the forum but wanted to add something to discussion too."
I should have clarified, lurkers often use the thread to dm, but the message itself is usually a "nice tits" or some such drivel.  |
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"I have 2 gripes about it.
The small gripe is when people contributing on the thread private message. I usually ignore them.
What irritates me more is lurkers who read the thread, don't contribute and then private message.
I struggle to work out their motivation.
All in all, I tend not to let fab bug me too much, as it kind of defeats the point of it for me.
I had in the past dms from people who weren't able to post in the forum but wanted to add something to discussion too.
I should have clarified, lurkers often use the thread to dm, but the message itself is usually a "nice tits" or some such drivel. "
Exactly this |
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"What... you mean people get messages ? Fuck sake.
Just because you don’t read yours … "
Hey Rise Tinted Glasses, leave the key with the porter and don't forget to turn the stove off
Btw what is this thread about? |
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I don't messages someone unless I know them. In 15 years I've done it twice, I think.
It's about 50/50 welcome and good vs ranty, creepy messages that I get from the forum. I can Live with it  I'd really prefer Fab to remove the option though |
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