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Are you vulnerable?
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By (user no longer on site) OP 49 weeks ago
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Are you vulnerable [defined as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure] .... in your home life, work life, sex life.. Other ?
How do you feel about it... What benefits has it brought?
If you are not, what is it that holds you back? |
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Home - No
Work - Yep, menopausal and according to HR that makes me vulnerable, they give me time out if I need it and check in regularly with me
Relationships - No, secured in those.
Medically vulnerable because of a heart condition |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"Are you vulnerable [defined as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure] .... in your home life, work life, sex life.. Other ?
How do you feel about it... What benefits has it brought?
If you are not, what is it that holds you back? "
Nope to all
emotional I am completely closed off my harts in bits and what I have peace’s back to gether other the years couldn’t stand another hit so I closed myself off in that regard would take someone very special and lot off time and patience from them for me to open my hart back up to someone not something I expect someone to do hence why I am single I am single by choice
Work not even in the slightest isn’t even a thought in my head at this point
Home life nope as I am single and stay buy myself so nothing to be vulnerable about |
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I suppose I should answer properly.
I have odd perceptions when it comes to the importance of honesty, and I would rather have myself laid bare for people to decide if they want the real and whole me, rather than put up the fronts and facade and customer service face to protect myself and then have to slowly let the people I like in, just to have them run when they see who I truly am. Lure people in with someone that doesn't exist and bait and switch when I realise I do want them around. Fuck that.
I'm too open for a lot of people. I'm too prone to wearing my heart and my sleeve and sometimes the wrong people get under my skin because of it.
But I'd rather do that and deal with the assholes as they eventually make themselves apparent, rather than miss out on the genuine connections with the people that are right for me, who might never have seen the real me if I took the normal people steps to keep myself safe  |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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Dr says I am, I say I'm injured and it's affecting my mental health because it's been so long.
There is zero benefit to me of the Dr giving me this badge. It just wasted time he could have used doing actual Dr work.
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I think allowing yourself to be vulnerable with others is part of what makes us human. It allows connection. I'm a fan, and although it has stung me at times, I still prefer it to having my public mask up at all times. It's worth it.
Mrs TMN x
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"I suppose I should answer properly.
I have odd perceptions when it comes to the importance of honesty, and I would rather have myself laid bare for people to decide if they want the real and whole me, rather than put up the fronts and facade and customer service face to protect myself and then have to slowly let the people I like in, just to have them run when they see who I truly am. Lure people in with someone that doesn't exist and bait and switch when I realise I do want them around. Fuck that.
I'm too open for a lot of people. I'm too prone to wearing my heart and my sleeve and sometimes the wrong people get under my skin because of it.
But I'd rather do that and deal with the assholes as they eventually make themselves apparent, rather than miss out on the genuine connections with the people that are right for me, who might never have seen the real me if I took the normal people steps to keep myself safe "
I see you |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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Work. Sorted.
Home, I’m emotionally unstable more than vulnerable haha.
Sex/love life. I don’t have one. But I’ve been hurt when I left myself open, I blame myself. I suppose this is why people build walls. Remind me to give Cupid a kick-in’ when I see him. |
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I'm not sure I understand what you're asking
For me, being vulnerable means somehow at risk of harm or being taken advantage of.
I can't see how not being in that position means something is holding me back  |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"I'm not sure I understand what you're asking
For me, being vulnerable means somehow at risk of harm or being taken advantage of.
I can't see how not being in that position means something is holding me back "
Yep I'm thinking this too |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 49 weeks ago
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"I'm not sure I understand what you're asking
For me, being vulnerable means somehow at risk of harm or being taken advantage of.
I can't see how not being in that position means something is holding me back "
Ah so the theory is that in being vulnerable and confiding /sharing information about yourself that you would usually try to conceal - like something at work that went wrong - you build a connection with that person which leads to trust and a stronger understanding and bond |
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"I'm not sure I understand what you're asking
For me, being vulnerable means somehow at risk of harm or being taken advantage of.
I can't see how not being in that position means something is holding me back
Ah so the theory is that in being vulnerable and confiding /sharing information about yourself that you would usually try to conceal - like something at work that went wrong - you build a connection with that person which leads to trust and a stronger understanding and bond"
It sounds a contrived way to forge some kind of intimacy with someone, rather than something that grows organically over time spent with someone |
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"I'm not sure I understand what you're asking
For me, being vulnerable means somehow at risk of harm or being taken advantage of.
I can't see how not being in that position means something is holding me back
Yep I'm thinking this too "
Too me being vulnerable with someone means I am entrusting them with my feelings/thoughts etc and trusting that I am safe to do so.
That they won't use the information to harm me but listen/offer advice as applicable.
Thats just my view though
MrsAbz |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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Its exhausting having a guard up all the time so I'm getting better at allowing myself to be more vulnerable with people. But people have to earn that trust, only a select few know me inside and out. In terms of relationships, I've checked out so I won't allow myself to go down that road being open to being screwed over again. |
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"I'm not sure I understand what you're asking
For me, being vulnerable means somehow at risk of harm or being taken advantage of.
I can't see how not being in that position means something is holding me back
Yep I'm thinking this too "
 |
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By *lex46TV/TS 49 weeks ago
Near Wells |
I’ve never thought of myself as vulnerable but work is rubbish at the moment and maybe I’m in a vulnerable position there. I don’t worry or think about it though.
Home life is good and so is my sex life, I would have to do something about it if I thought I was in a vulnerable position with either of these. |
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By *apidaryMan 49 weeks ago
Chipping Norton |
Vulnerability creeps up whenever my guard is down; and if my guard isn't down, I'm not really alive.
Even the most laughing, light-hearted sex can have moments where it gets utterly serious & intense (indeed, it should have) however swiftly and satisfyingly they pass. Any deeply felt experience, even one based primarily on sensuality, involves vulnerability, doesn't it? |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"I'm not sure I understand what you're asking
For me, being vulnerable means somehow at risk of harm or being taken advantage of.
I can't see how not being in that position means something is holding me back
Yep I'm thinking this too
Too me being vulnerable with someone means I am entrusting them with my feelings/thoughts etc and trusting that I am safe to do so.
That they won't use the information to harm me but listen/offer advice as applicable.
Thats just my view though
MrsAbz "
I'm that case,I make myself vulnerable all the time and did this recently only to get burned by it.
I typed more but backspaced it. |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"I'm not sure I understand what you're asking
For me, being vulnerable means somehow at risk of harm or being taken advantage of.
I can't see how not being in that position means something is holding me back
Ah so the theory is that in being vulnerable and confiding /sharing information about yourself that you would usually try to conceal - like something at work that went wrong - you build a connection with that person which leads to trust and a stronger understanding and bond
It sounds a contrived way to forge some kind of intimacy with someone, rather than something that grows organically over time spent with someone "
I get this. |
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"I'm not sure I understand what you're asking
For me, being vulnerable means somehow at risk of harm or being taken advantage of.
I can't see how not being in that position means something is holding me back
Yep I'm thinking this too
Too me being vulnerable with someone means I am entrusting them with my feelings/thoughts etc and trusting that I am safe to do so.
That they won't use the information to harm me but listen/offer advice as applicable.
Thats just my view though
MrsAbz
I'm that case,I make myself vulnerable all the time and did this recently only to get burned by it.
I typed more but backspaced it."
I'm sorry you were let down. It is why it is so difficult to let people in.
I hope you find a good, safe person who doesn't do that to you
MrsAbz
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"I'm not sure I understand what you're asking
For me, being vulnerable means somehow at risk of harm or being taken advantage of.
I can't see how not being in that position means something is holding me back
Yep I'm thinking this too
Too me being vulnerable with someone means I am entrusting them with my feelings/thoughts etc and trusting that I am safe to do so.
That they won't use the information to harm me but listen/offer advice as applicable.
Thats just my view though
MrsAbz
I'm that case,I make myself vulnerable all the time and did this recently only to get burned by it.
I typed more but backspaced it.
I'm sorry you were let down. It is why it is so difficult to let people in.
I hope you find a good, safe person who doesn't do that to you
MrsAbz
"
So far, on here is the worst place to look!
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By *mf123Man 49 weeks ago
with one foot out the door |
I dont allow emotion i dont allow people close i can safely say only one person had that much access as much as im grateful for those times il not risk allowing anyone else that level of access to the whole me |
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"I'm not sure I understand what you're asking
For me, being vulnerable means somehow at risk of harm or being taken advantage of.
I can't see how not being in that position means something is holding me back
Yep I'm thinking this too
Too me being vulnerable with someone means I am entrusting them with my feelings/thoughts etc and trusting that I am safe to do so.
That they won't use the information to harm me but listen/offer advice as applicable.
Thats just my view though
MrsAbz
I'm that case,I make myself vulnerable all the time and did this recently only to get burned by it.
I typed more but backspaced it.
I'm sorry you were let down. It is why it is so difficult to let people in.
I hope you find a good, safe person who doesn't do that to you
MrsAbz
So far, on here is the worst place to look!
"
I quite agree with you there
MrsAbz |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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Depends on the definition of vulnerable
I do let people in, some may say too much but some of those I have let in have kept me going
It could make me vulnerable on here as people may say he is too damaged to meet |
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"I'm not sure I understand what you're asking
For me, being vulnerable means somehow at risk of harm or being taken advantage of.
I can't see how not being in that position means something is holding me back "
Because you tend to get peoples trust & get the best out of them when you choose to make yourself a little vulnerable. As a boss , partner or parent.
I think there’s a big difference, being very secure in yourself, so that you can make yourself a little bit vulnerable to others. Versus being insecure, vulnerable by nature, often being taken advantage of. |
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"I'm not sure I understand what you're asking
For me, being vulnerable means somehow at risk of harm or being taken advantage of.
I can't see how not being in that position means something is holding me back
Ah so the theory is that in being vulnerable and confiding /sharing information about yourself that you would usually try to conceal - like something at work that went wrong - you build a connection with that person which leads to trust and a stronger understanding and bond"
Yes choosing to repeatable make yourself both vulnerable and accountable as a habit. Keys to growth.
In my experience of over 20 years, mentoring, teenagers and adults, people either want this or don’t want it. It’s very rare to see peoples emotional intelligence change |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"I'm not sure I understand what you're asking
For me, being vulnerable means somehow at risk of harm or being taken advantage of.
I can't see how not being in that position means something is holding me back
Ah so the theory is that in being vulnerable and confiding /sharing information about yourself that you would usually try to conceal - like something at work that went wrong - you build a connection with that person which leads to trust and a stronger understanding and bond
Yes choosing to repeatable make yourself both vulnerable and accountable as a habit. Keys to growth.
In my experience of over 20 years, mentoring, teenagers and adults, people either want this or don’t want it. It’s very rare to see peoples emotional intelligence change "
Emotional intelligence is interesting. To me it’s knowing who to trust, who you want to be open with etc and that’s when you are vulnerable.
There very few I’d be that way with, especially in work (although my boss is pretty fantastic and he knows me quite well quickly). And it worth letting those people know what you want and desire in a job.
With partners there’s been 2, my ex of many many years was one, and who wouldn’t want to expose themselves fully when stood in front of complete beauty.
And recently when someone that feels perfect walks into your life, and they’re worth going all in.
For everything else, I make sure I’m not vulnerable, what’s the point of possibly getting hurt for something worthless to my heart? Youve go to be intelligent about it, and know life can be just good friendly fun too.
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By (user no longer on site) OP 49 weeks ago
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"I'm not sure I understand what you're asking
For me, being vulnerable means somehow at risk of harm or being taken advantage of.
I can't see how not being in that position means something is holding me back
Because you tend to get peoples trust & get the best out of them when you choose to make yourself a little vulnerable. As a boss , partner or parent.
I think there’s a big difference, being very secure in yourself, so that you can make yourself a little bit vulnerable to others. Versus being insecure, vulnerable by nature, often being taken advantage of."
Yes! You get it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 49 weeks ago
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"I'm not sure I understand what you're asking
For me, being vulnerable means somehow at risk of harm or being taken advantage of.
I can't see how not being in that position means something is holding me back
Ah so the theory is that in being vulnerable and confiding /sharing information about yourself that you would usually try to conceal - like something at work that went wrong - you build a connection with that person which leads to trust and a stronger understanding and bond
Yes choosing to repeatable make yourself both vulnerable and accountable as a habit. Keys to growth.
In my experience of over 20 years, mentoring, teenagers and adults, people either want this or don’t want it. It’s very rare to see peoples emotional intelligence change "
Its very hard to do, i think most people would shy away from it..it also takes a lot of self reflection which isn't appealing to a lot of people |
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"I suppose I should answer properly.
I have odd perceptions when it comes to the importance of honesty, and I would rather have myself laid bare for people to decide if they want the real and whole me, rather than put up the fronts and facade and customer service face to protect myself and then have to slowly let the people I like in, just to have them run when they see who I truly am. Lure people in with someone that doesn't exist and bait and switch when I realise I do want them around. Fuck that.
I'm too open for a lot of people. I'm too prone to wearing my heart and my sleeve and sometimes the wrong people get under my skin because of it.
But I'd rather do that and deal with the assholes as they eventually make themselves apparent, rather than miss out on the genuine connections with the people that are right for me, who might never have seen the real me if I took the normal people steps to keep myself safe "
There’s a lot here that resonates with me. In some ways, this was me. But too many assholes and so few genuine connections have closed me off. That’s an active choice on my part, and one that goes against my nature. I still hope the kindness of strangers will erode the walls. Time will tell Xx |
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My home life and work life have went hand in hand for the last couple of years and, as I'm almost at my next crossroads regarding both, I would say I'm certainly vulnerable there because nothing has been set in stone yet.
Sex life, God knows when that might begin again so there's definite uncertainty there and with it then vulnerability.
Still, I feel relatively at ease with all of this, and perhaps even operate better under the little stress that comes from the uncertainty. |
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By *eliWoman 49 weeks ago
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Vulnerability is an odd one isn't it? There's the definite bad side of it, where you're more susceptible to being hurt. Where there's a part of you that's a little bit broken and thus more easily damaged. I'm going to focus on the positive aspect of it.
When I was younger I saw being vulnerable as tantamount to neediness. That if I somehow let people see more of me, let my walls down I'd be too much. Too intense, too needy. So I'd push people away if I started liking them. I'd keep things very casual, friendships, work relationships, sexual ones.
If you let someone in they can hurt you, there's always the possibility they can hurt you because the more you care, the more you show someone the real you, the more chance that when it ends it can really leave a scar.
And then I decided that being vulnerable could be a strength.
It's not just about being open with my fears and worries, it's holding my hands up when I've done wrong and owning that. It's giving others space to be vulnerable with you and trying to accept it with grace and kindness because that's where you form real connections. The deeper ones that stay with you, after they've ended for whatever reason. It's forgiving people for being human, allowing others to forgive you for being human.
Shutting myself off from the world isn't me. I care too fiercely, like people too much. So with that, I accept that being vulnerable could lead to hurt. Everything can. It's worth it though. |
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"Vulnerability is an odd one isn't it? There's the definite bad side of it, where you're more susceptible to being hurt. Where there's a part of you that's a little bit broken and thus more easily damaged. I'm going to focus on the positive aspect of it.
When I was younger I saw being vulnerable as tantamount to neediness. That if I somehow let people see more of me, let my walls down I'd be too much. Too intense, too needy. So I'd push people away if I started liking them. I'd keep things very casual, friendships, work relationships, sexual ones.
If you let someone in they can hurt you, there's always the possibility they can hurt you because the more you care, the more you show someone the real you, the more chance that when it ends it can really leave a scar.
And then I decided that being vulnerable could be a strength.
It's not just about being open with my fears and worries, it's holding my hands up when I've done wrong and owning that. It's giving others space to be vulnerable with you and trying to accept it with grace and kindness because that's where you form real connections. The deeper ones that stay with you, after they've ended for whatever reason. It's forgiving people for being human, allowing others to forgive you for being human.
Shutting myself off from the world isn't me. I care too fiercely, like people too much. So with that, I accept that being vulnerable could lead to hurt. Everything can. It's worth it though."
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I've always been the one that people feel comfortable being vulnerable with but with very little reciprocation on my part. The strong but supportive type.
That has always applied equally across my personal and work lives but it came with a cost.
As a result while I had been giving so much of myself to others and their well-being I had lost myself and my own needs.
That changed to some degree 16 or 17 years ago but when I was feeling vulnerable I found myself online chatting to strangers across the world. People I knew I would never met face to face but even that wasn't a great solution.
It was only 8 years ago when a couple of things happened to change my entire outlook that I realised I could be vulnerable with the right people without losing my ability to help and support them at the same time.
That continues to this day due to great friends who are always there for me.
|
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"Vulnerability is an odd one isn't it? There's the definite bad side of it, where you're more susceptible to being hurt. Where there's a part of you that's a little bit broken and thus more easily damaged. I'm going to focus on the positive aspect of it.
When I was younger I saw being vulnerable as tantamount to neediness. That if I somehow let people see more of me, let my walls down I'd be too much. Too intense, too needy. So I'd push people away if I started liking them. I'd keep things very casual, friendships, work relationships, sexual ones.
If you let someone in they can hurt you, there's always the possibility they can hurt you because the more you care, the more you show someone the real you, the more chance that when it ends it can really leave a scar.
And then I decided that being vulnerable could be a strength.
It's not just about being open with my fears and worries, it's holding my hands up when I've done wrong and owning that. It's giving others space to be vulnerable with you and trying to accept it with grace and kindness because that's where you form real connections. The deeper ones that stay with you, after they've ended for whatever reason. It's forgiving people for being human, allowing others to forgive you for being human.
Shutting myself off from the world isn't me. I care too fiercely, like people too much. So with that, I accept that being vulnerable could lead to hurt. Everything can. It's worth it though."
You said what I was thinking! Just with more words 
Mrs TMN x |
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By *eliWoman 49 weeks ago
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"Vulnerability is an odd one isn't it? There's the definite bad side of it, where you're more susceptible to being hurt. Where there's a part of you that's a little bit broken and thus more easily damaged. I'm going to focus on the positive aspect of it.
When I was younger I saw being vulnerable as tantamount to neediness. That if I somehow let people see more of me, let my walls down I'd be too much. Too intense, too needy. So I'd push people away if I started liking them. I'd keep things very casual, friendships, work relationships, sexual ones.
If you let someone in they can hurt you, there's always the possibility they can hurt you because the more you care, the more you show someone the real you, the more chance that when it ends it can really leave a scar.
And then I decided that being vulnerable could be a strength.
It's not just about being open with my fears and worries, it's holding my hands up when I've done wrong and owning that. It's giving others space to be vulnerable with you and trying to accept it with grace and kindness because that's where you form real connections. The deeper ones that stay with you, after they've ended for whatever reason. It's forgiving people for being human, allowing others to forgive you for being human.
Shutting myself off from the world isn't me. I care too fiercely, like people too much. So with that, I accept that being vulnerable could lead to hurt. Everything can. It's worth it though.
You said what I was thinking! Just with more words
Mrs TMN x"
Standard right? I'm really going to have to work hard on not waffling.  |
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"Vulnerability is an odd one isn't it? There's the definite bad side of it, where you're more susceptible to being hurt. Where there's a part of you that's a little bit broken and thus more easily damaged. I'm going to focus on the positive aspect of it.
When I was younger I saw being vulnerable as tantamount to neediness. That if I somehow let people see more of me, let my walls down I'd be too much. Too intense, too needy. So I'd push people away if I started liking them. I'd keep things very casual, friendships, work relationships, sexual ones.
If you let someone in they can hurt you, there's always the possibility they can hurt you because the more you care, the more you show someone the real you, the more chance that when it ends it can really leave a scar.
And then I decided that being vulnerable could be a strength.
It's not just about being open with my fears and worries, it's holding my hands up when I've done wrong and owning that. It's giving others space to be vulnerable with you and trying to accept it with grace and kindness because that's where you form real connections. The deeper ones that stay with you, after they've ended for whatever reason. It's forgiving people for being human, allowing others to forgive you for being human.
Shutting myself off from the world isn't me. I care too fiercely, like people too much. So with that, I accept that being vulnerable could lead to hurt. Everything can. It's worth it though.
You said what I was thinking! Just with more words
Mrs TMN x
Standard right? I'm really going to have to work hard on not waffling. "
Nah, sack that. Waffle away. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 49 weeks ago
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"Vulnerability is an odd one isn't it? There's the definite bad side of it, where you're more susceptible to being hurt. Where there's a part of you that's a little bit broken and thus more easily damaged. I'm going to focus on the positive aspect of it.
When I was younger I saw being vulnerable as tantamount to neediness. That if I somehow let people see more of me, let my walls down I'd be too much. Too intense, too needy. So I'd push people away if I started liking them. I'd keep things very casual, friendships, work relationships, sexual ones.
If you let someone in they can hurt you, there's always the possibility they can hurt you because the more you care, the more you show someone the real you, the more chance that when it ends it can really leave a scar.
And then I decided that being vulnerable could be a strength.
It's not just about being open with my fears and worries, it's holding my hands up when I've done wrong and owning that. It's giving others space to be vulnerable with you and trying to accept it with grace and kindness because that's where you form real connections. The deeper ones that stay with you, after they've ended for whatever reason. It's forgiving people for being human, allowing others to forgive you for being human.
Shutting myself off from the world isn't me. I care too fiercely, like people too much. So with that, I accept that being vulnerable could lead to hurt. Everything can. It's worth it though."
Beautiful |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 49 weeks ago
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"I've always been the one that people feel comfortable being vulnerable with but with very little reciprocation on my part. The strong but supportive type.
That has always applied equally across my personal and work lives but it came with a cost.
As a result while I had been giving so much of myself to others and their well-being I had lost myself and my own needs.
That changed to some degree 16 or 17 years ago but when I was feeling vulnerable I found myself online chatting to strangers across the world. People I knew I would never met face to face but even that wasn't a great solution.
It was only 8 years ago when a couple of things happened to change my entire outlook that I realised I could be vulnerable with the right people without losing my ability to help and support them at the same time.
That continues to this day due to great friends who are always there for me.
"
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By *assy69Man 49 weeks ago
West Sussex and Wales |
"Are you vulnerable [defined as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure] .... in your home life, work life, sex life.. Other ?
How do you feel about it... What benefits has it brought?
If you are not, what is it that holds you back? "
Yes, and for many years I just bit my lip and endured it because that’s what I was told was the way to deal with things ….., pull your socks up and get on with it
Well……. Enough is enough and I am now extra caring myself from that toxic relationship and regaining control of my life and going in search of my self respect, my dignity and my self esteem  |
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"Are you vulnerable [defined as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure] .... in your home life, work life, sex life.. Other ?
How do you feel about it... What benefits has it brought?
If you are not, what is it that holds you back? "
No definitely not vulnerable and hopefully never will be |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"Are you vulnerable [defined as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure] .... in your home life, work life, sex life.. Other ?
How do you feel about it... What benefits has it brought?
If you are not, what is it that holds you back? "
Yes.
Benefits -understanding from those important in my life, on why I maybe can't do things physically but also why I'm not able to give as much of myself because of the challenges I face and have faced in the past. |
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