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Ask your Auntie Wendi
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok boys and girls and all those in-between. It's time again for your favourite Agony Aunt, so anything you need help with ask away and I shall give you my advice.
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Dear Wendi,
Whilst putting the angel on top of my Christmas tree, somehow my willy got electrically welded to it.
So, my question is, how do I remove these three glittery baubles from my bumhole?
Thank you,
Nick, Sussex. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When will I feel better? "
Depends on what's wrong with you.
If its an ailment, unfortunately it's that time of year.
If you're feeling down and low.
It can be a number of things. Depression, SAD, this time of year as everyone is over worked at this time and so much pressure for the holidays, with family gifts etc.
If its ailments. Wrap up warm take vitamins, try a healthier diet.
If its the later you're not alone and lots of people are going through the same. If it's Depression speak to your doctor or a mental health professional.
Love Auntie Wendi x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dear Wendi,
Whilst putting the angel on top of my Christmas tree, somehow my willy got electrically welded to it.
So, my question is, how do I remove these three glittery baubles from my bumhole?
Thank you,
Nick, Sussex. "
Dear Nick, now that is a conundrum.
Take a laxative and use plenty of lube for the glitter.
You'll be sitting glitter for weeks it's a bitch to get out.
But on the bright side, imagine someone you dislike.
Shit in a Tiffany box and give them it anonymously for xmas, and remember there's a silver lining. Well in your case glitter.
Love Auntie Wendi x |
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"Dear Wendi,
Whilst putting the angel on top of my Christmas tree, somehow my willy got electrically welded to it.
So, my question is, how do I remove these three glittery baubles from my bumhole?
Thank you,
Nick, Sussex.
Dear Nick, now that is a conundrum.
Take a laxative and use plenty of lube for the glitter.
You'll be sitting glitter for weeks it's a bitch to get out.
But on the bright side, imagine someone you dislike.
Shit in a Tiffany box and give them it anonymously for xmas, and remember there's a silver lining. Well in your case glitter.
Love Auntie Wendi x "
Thank you so much Wendi,
My welded willy has left me feeling a little bitter, but I also feel so much happier and fitter now that I'm the glitter shitter.
Nick x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dearest Wendi,
How can I get her to change her mind about me?"
It depends on what it is.
If it's going to see a certain film, restaurant, holiday destination.
Then show why this might be a better option. Reviews, deals, things to do and see.
If it's a sexual act.
Some people just have hard limits and it's a no.
Over time this could change with time and trust and you could discuss it later.
If its someone who you want to meet or maybe have and things have cooled off and they're no longer interested.
This happens we all change areonds, get bored when things feel stale.
Sometime we see other people that you've more of a connection with, a spark.
If that's the case let it be as you'll find someone lile that and be glad as it will excite you more.
We all need that connection and if someone's not feeling it let them go. No one wants someone settling for them.
Love Auntie Wendi x |
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"Dearest Wendi,
How can I get her to change her mind about me?
It depends on what it is.
If it's going to see a certain film, restaurant, holiday destination.
Then show why this might be a better option. Reviews, deals, things to do and see.
If it's a sexual act.
Some people just have hard limits and it's a no.
Over time this could change with time and trust and you could discuss it later.
If its someone who you want to meet or maybe have and things have cooled off and they're no longer interested.
This happens we all change areonds, get bored when things feel stale.
Sometime we see other people that you've more of a connection with, a spark.
If that's the case let it be as you'll find someone lile that and be glad as it will excite you more.
We all need that connection and if someone's not feeling it let them go. No one wants someone settling for them.
Love Auntie Wendi x"
Fantastic advice as always, Wendi.
Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As I get older I'm noticing hairs sprouting from strange places.
Ears and nose I can pluck? But should I start to shave the hairs sprouting on my big toes ?"
If you find it unappealing and don't like it, then yes if you think you'd like them smooth.
They're only toes and easy to shave, it'll also grow back.
It's not a hard up keep to do in grooming.
At the end if the day you do what you want, not because you think you should have to, or society says what's hot and not.
Love Auntie Wendi x
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ooo hello auntie wendi hopefully all is good with you
My question to you is will I ever be set free  "
Hey Nat all good, hope you're good babes.
Well being set free is a blanket question.
Is it chastity cage, then you should of been let free at the end of locktober.
If its your mind, try meditation things that make you happy. Set daily even weekly goals. Something small to achieve, look forward to.
If its a relationship you're stuck in and not happy. If you've looked at all avenues and don't see a future or want one.
Kick him to the kerb.
Put on your best lippy, outfit and wig.
Go out with the girls show the boys your fabulous and what they've been missing.
Love Auntie Wendi x |
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By *ddie1966Man
over a year ago
Paper Town Central, Essex. |
"As I get older I'm noticing hairs sprouting from strange places.
Ears and nose I can pluck? But should I start to shave the hairs sprouting on my big toes ?
If you find it unappealing and don't like it, then yes if you think you'd like them smooth.
They're only toes and easy to shave, it'll also grow back.
It's not a hard up keep to do in grooming.
At the end if the day you do what you want, not because you think you should have to, or society says what's hot and not.
Love Auntie Wendi x
"
Thank you Auntie Wendy.
I was a little worried about becoming a Troll.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ooo hello auntie wendi hopefully all is good with you
My question to you is will I ever be set free
Hey Nat all good, hope you're good babes.
Well being set free is a blanket question.
Is it chastity cage, then you should of been let free at the end of locktober.
If its your mind, try meditation things that make you happy. Set daily even weekly goals. Something small to achieve, look forward to.
If its a relationship you're stuck in and not happy. If you've looked at all avenues and don't see a future or want one.
Kick him to the kerb.
Put on your best lippy, outfit and wig.
Go out with the girls show the boys your fabulous and what they've been missing.
Love Auntie Wendi x "
Glad your good and no there wasn’t any context to just a funny thing I am to awesome and amazing to be locked up ha ha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dear Wendi
My bum hole hurts a bit. How long till it feels better
Mrs Anonymous "
If you fell on it or sat wrong on it for to long, on time will help.
Don't do anything to strenuous.
If it was a bad fall and your in a lot of pain. Go to A&E to be on the safe side.
If this was from anal.
The golden rule is. Lube, lube and more lube.
Relax use toys, go at your own comfort and speed.
Sometimes we all get carried away in the moment.
But always reapply lube, it's used for that reason.
Those tips should help for future events, remember where there's pain there's pleasure.
Love Auntie Wendi x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dear Wendi
Should I give him a chance. He makes me laugh. "
Laughter is the best medicine as they say.
Go for it what have you got to lose. Unless he's a serial killer or psychopath, which is a red flag.
If so and you've not seen them, that's a different advice question.
Go for it, you'll get a night out if it's a social.
If it's a play meet, you'll else get the best sex or worst sex, maybe even mediocre off your life.
Sometimes people surprise you, you could have more in common than you think.
Love Auntie Wendi x |
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Hi Wendi,
So a serious question for you. If you had reason to believe that a past lover, someone you were once deeply connected to, was in a bad place, would you consider reaching out for the first time in years to check if she was okay?
Thank you in advance my lovely Xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dear Wendi,
How do I persuade my long term gf to try mmf for the first time?
I have played with other couples in the past, she hasn’t.
"
From looking at your profile, you've said she's not on here and it's not for her.
Key to any successful relationship is communication and trust.
You can try and bring it up with her and discuss it, but think you already no the answer.
So you can see if she'd be keen and if she would like to try and open things up.
The other question is if she isn't is the relationship right for you, as she doesn't know you're on he already.
If you're happy to have her in your life and see other people without her knowledge.
Love Auntie Wendi x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Auntie Wendi
How long does it take a petite woman to put a man in the bin??"
Depends on the size of the man and how you're doing it.
Always make it look like an accident, then you'll not have to go to all that effort.
Love Auntie Wendi x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hi Wendi,
So a serious question for you. If you had reason to believe that a past lover, someone you were once deeply connected to, was in a bad place, would you consider reaching out for the first time in years to check if she was okay?
Thank you in advance my lovely Xx"
Yes but treat with caution.
I'm not sure if you mean mentally, financially or physically I.E (relationship)
There is groups, companies and places set up to help with all of these.
A quick Facebook message happy holidays, or a card.
Remember they're an ex for a reason and might not want to hear from you.
As I don't know the full facts I'd say think very hard and tread carefully. As you could be a lifeline that they need or it could come back to bite you.
Sorry can't be of more help in this situation.
Love Auntie Wendi x
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"Hi Wendi,
So a serious question for you. If you had reason to believe that a past lover, someone you were once deeply connected to, was in a bad place, would you consider reaching out for the first time in years to check if she was okay?
Thank you in advance my lovely Xx
Yes but treat with caution.
I'm not sure if you mean mentally, financially or physically I.E (relationship)
There is groups, companies and places set up to help with all of these.
A quick Facebook message happy holidays, or a card.
Remember they're an ex for a reason and might not want to hear from you.
As I don't know the full facts I'd say think very hard and tread carefully. As you could be a lifeline that they need or it could come back to bite you.
Sorry can't be of more help in this situation.
Love Auntie Wendi x
"
Thinking carefully is exactly what I’m doing. Lifeline or rabbit hole of disruption… we did indeed part company for a reason. But that doesn’t stop me caring. It’s a tricky one, and I genuinely don’t know what to do for the best. But thank you, your wisdom has confirmed that I am right to be cautious. I will continue to ponder. Much love Xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" 
Wow!
Best thread I've seen here so far.
Seems kind of a lot of work, but you nail it.
Where were you until now?
 "
I've always been here just haven't done the thread for a while. As I use to do it once a week, sometimes it'd gets lots of responses, sometimes none at all.
Just trying to find the right time to do it.
Love Auntie Wendi x |
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"
Wow!
Best thread I've seen here so far.
Seems kind of a lot of work, but you nail it.
Where were you until now?
I've always been here just haven't done the thread for a while. As I use to do it once a week, sometimes it'd gets lots of responses, sometimes none at all.
Just trying to find the right time to do it.
Love Auntie Wendi x "
***
You should do it, if you can.
It's really good, but it's Sunday.
Forum goes dead earlier. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Wow!
Best thread I've seen here so far.
Seems kind of a lot of work, but you nail it.
Where were you until now?
I've always been here just haven't done the thread for a while. As I use to do it once a week, sometimes it'd gets lots of responses, sometimes none at all.
Just trying to find the right time to do it.
Love Auntie Wendi x
***
You should do it, if you can.
It's really good, but it's Sunday.
Forum goes dead earlier."
As I said I've done it for a while, on a Fri,Sat and Sun just finding the right one and time that'll get responses.
Love Auntie Wendi x |
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Dearest Wendi,
Some say women are contrary. That's not true. Well, yes it is. But it isn't too. Sometimes on a Wednesday. If the wind blows a certain way.
I've also noticed some men here seem to feel hard done by, bitter it's not instashag, bitter no woman has ever replied to any message from anyone in any universe across all of space and time.
Ever.
I say make time! You just have to work out what they want at any given moment, and be prepared for that to be its exact opposite one precise moment later.
And and and and - I've also really noticed some hideous generalisations about gender. It's just too broad a topic for that. I'm as queer as the next banana, and my pet dragon agrees with me too.
So, my question is; how do I get the thing with a vagina to shut up? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dearest Wendi,
Some say women are contrary. That's not true. Well, yes it is. But it isn't too. Sometimes on a Wednesday. If the wind blows a certain way.
I've also noticed some men here seem to feel hard done by, bitter it's not instashag, bitter no woman has ever replied to any message from anyone in any universe across all of space and time.
Ever.
I say make time! You just have to work out what they want at any given moment, and be prepared for that to be its exact opposite one precise moment later.
And and and and - I've also really noticed some hideous generalisations about gender. It's just too broad a topic for that. I'm as queer as the next banana, and my pet dragon agrees with me too.
So, my question is; how do I get the thing with a vagina to shut up? "
If it's annoying you that much just say I'm not in the mood to talk right now, or can we discuss that later as I just need some peace and quite at the moment.
Love Auntie Wendi x
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"Dearest Wendi,
Some say women are contrary. That's not true. Well, yes it is. But it isn't too. Sometimes on a Wednesday. If the wind blows a certain way.
I've also noticed some men here seem to feel hard done by, bitter it's not instashag, bitter no woman has ever replied to any message from anyone in any universe across all of space and time.
Ever.
I say make time! You just have to work out what they want at any given moment, and be prepared for that to be its exact opposite one precise moment later.
And and and and - I've also really noticed some hideous generalisations about gender. It's just too broad a topic for that. I'm as queer as the next banana, and my pet dragon agrees with me too.
So, my question is; how do I get the thing with a vagina to shut up?
If it's annoying you that much just say I'm not in the mood to talk right now, or can we discuss that later as I just need some peace and quite at the moment.
Love Auntie Wendi x
"
Thank you Auntie Wendi,
I shall offer to reconvene conversation with the human of the vagina in May ('24) x |
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By *ickyxxx99Man
over a year ago
Lewisham . Se London |
Dear Auntie Wendi
Next doors dog made our Robbies bum bleed and Robbie doesn't seem to want to go out anymore, and yesterday he shat on the lino in the kitchen.
My granny is coming to stay for Christmas and can often be found wandering around early in the morning, I'm a little worried she might slip on Robbies do-do and break something .
How can I persuade Robbie that it was probably a one of and he's safe to go back outdoors.
Any help or advice you can provide would be much appreciated |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dear Auntie Wendi
Next doors dog made our Robbies bum bleed and Robbie doesn't seem to want to go out anymore, and yesterday he shat on the lino in the kitchen.
My granny is coming to stay for Christmas and can often be found wandering around early in the morning, I'm a little worried she might slip on Robbies do-do and break something .
How can I persuade Robbie that it was probably a one of and he's safe to go back outdoors.
Any help or advice you can provide would be much appreciated"
Best thing to do is to go out and stand with him so he feels safe.
Keep doing this gradually and lead up to leaving the door open.
He'll build up the confidence to eventually go back out and you'll be able to close the door. Just sort out any hole or gaps in hedges or fencing to prevent this and keep an eye on him to make sure it can't happen again.
Love Auntie Wendi x |
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By *ickyxxx99Man
over a year ago
Lewisham . Se London |
Many thanks for your advise, I'll keep Robbie close and not let him join in the regular arse sniffing social in the park for now. Granny is not coming for Christmas as she longer knows who I am, she told me to fuck of and get out of her house this morning, I wouldn't mind but we were in the arndale centre at the time, do you think my granny as bought the arndale centre without telling me
Many thanks and much love Nicky xx |
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Dear Auntie Wendy!
I didn't even get close to meet any woman from here in the last 17 months.
Should I get a new TV for Christmas to cheer me up?
I've seen some nice ones, but not sure I would like the sound quality.
Not a big fan of fiddling with the knobs on them either.
They are all nice, but I'm looking for something wOw.
Thanks!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dear Auntie Wendy!
I didn't even get close to meet any woman from here in the last 17 months.
Should I get a new TV for Christmas to cheer me up?
I've seen some nice ones, but not sure I would like the sound quality.
Not a big fan of fiddling with the knobs on them either.
They are all nice, but I'm looking for something wOw.
Thanks!
"
You can always go surround sound if the noise bothers you.
Visit a store and one of the colleges would be able to advice you best.
Love Auntie Wendi x |
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"Dear Auntie Wendy!
I didn't even get close to meet any woman from here in the last 17 months.
Should I get a new TV for Christmas to cheer me up?
I've seen some nice ones, but not sure I would like the sound quality.
Not a big fan of fiddling with the knobs on them either.
They are all nice, but I'm looking for something wOw.
Thanks!
You can always go surround sound if the noise bothers you.
Visit a store and one of the colleges would be able to advice you best.
Love Auntie Wendi x "
***
Thanks Auntie Wendy!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dearest Wendi
Origami of the penis.
Is it recommended for amateurs as attempting the wrist watch I now have something that looks like spaghetti junction."
If never recommend this, as the paper is stronger than the penis.
Dear God man think of the paper cuts.
I'd just stick to ordinary origami if I was you.
Love Auntie Wendi x |
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