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I'm gonna do one of these agony aunt ones!
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By *ruceyy OP Man 49 weeks ago
London |
Here's the situ.
Kinda fwb who I was meeting today had a first date yesterday (I'm not looking for that so that's cool BUT she did say she couldn't do Sat with me because of the date) She told me halfway through she didn't even really like him.
But she had sex with him afterwards. Without that protection. And that it wasn't even good.
Now I don't know whether I'm being a sensitive sally but I then said to her ok sorry to hear that, let's not do today eh? And she's losing her mind to that. Saying why etc etc.
Isn't it obvious? I'm not about arguing with people I meet for sex but am I in the wrong here for not finding the idea appealing of her fucking a bad first date the very next day? Or is my thinking absolutely valid?
Just curious to know what you think! Be honest! |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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You're not wrong to feel how you feel. Sometimes in this situation, she could be playing it down and actually did like the guy but was hesitant to let you know that just incase you reacted a certain way. I think it's normal to be wary of sleeping with someone that close together especially when it's unprotected but if they are are true fwb, you shouldn't have to explain yourself. Just do what's best for you, it's that simple really. |
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By *ruceyy OP Man 49 weeks ago
London |
"You're not wrong to feel how you feel. Sometimes in this situation, she could be playing it down and actually did like the guy but was hesitant to let you know that just incase you reacted a certain way. I think it's normal to be wary of sleeping with someone that close together especially when it's unprotected but if they are are true fwb, you shouldn't have to explain yourself. Just do what's best for you, it's that simple really."
This isn't a fabber by the way just for everyone. But you're right, but if she liked him that's sure as shit fine and better to hear than I didn't but I fucked him anyway  |
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"Here's the situ.
Kinda fwb who I was meeting today had a first date yesterday (I'm not looking for that so that's cool BUT she did say she couldn't do Sat with me because of the date) She told me halfway through she didn't even really like him.
But she had sex with him afterwards. Without that protection. And that it wasn't even good.
Now I don't know whether I'm being a sensitive sally but I then said to her ok sorry to hear that, let's not do today eh? And she's losing her mind to that. Saying why etc etc.
Isn't it obvious? I'm not about arguing with people I meet for sex but am I in the wrong here for not finding the idea appealing of her fucking a bad first date the very next day? Or is my thinking absolutely valid?
Just curious to know what you think! Be honest! "
Not at all, that story gave me the ick |
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By *ruceyy OP Man 49 weeks ago
London |
"Here's the situ.
Kinda fwb who I was meeting today had a first date yesterday (I'm not looking for that so that's cool BUT she did say she couldn't do Sat with me because of the date) She told me halfway through she didn't even really like him.
But she had sex with him afterwards. Without that protection. And that it wasn't even good.
Now I don't know whether I'm being a sensitive sally but I then said to her ok sorry to hear that, let's not do today eh? And she's losing her mind to that. Saying why etc etc.
Isn't it obvious? I'm not about arguing with people I meet for sex but am I in the wrong here for not finding the idea appealing of her fucking a bad first date the very next day? Or is my thinking absolutely valid?
Just curious to know what you think! Be honest!
Not at all, that story gave me the ick "
Thank you and hello 
So I need a replacement meet today so...  |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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I'm confused - you are a fwb...She doesn't really owe you any explanation - many people wouldn't tell you they had met someone else.
I get that unprotected sex could be an issue - so ok to wait for the next sti all clear... But otherwise it feels a little judgey to me |
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"Here's the situ.
Kinda fwb who I was meeting today had a first date yesterday (I'm not looking for that so that's cool BUT she did say she couldn't do Sat with me because of the date) She told me halfway through she didn't even really like him.
But she had sex with him afterwards. Without that protection. And that it wasn't even good.
Now I don't know whether I'm being a sensitive sally but I then said to her ok sorry to hear that, let's not do today eh? And she's losing her mind to that. Saying why etc etc.
Isn't it obvious? I'm not about arguing with people I meet for sex but am I in the wrong here for not finding the idea appealing of her fucking a bad first date the very next day? Or is my thinking absolutely valid?
Just curious to know what you think! Be honest!
Not at all, that story gave me the ick
Thank you and hello
So I need a replacement meet today so... "
Ha haaaa... London's a bit far and snow so....  |
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I get where you’re coming from Brucey. It’s hard seeing your friends make bad choices. Or at least, choices *you* think are poor.
Fucking someone you don’t like seems like a kind of self harm, self sabotage, or self hatred. And that points (in your head) to your friend being unhappy or unwell. And, because you’re a man, your instinct is probably to try and ‘fix’ that.
Truth is, she might have a different take on it. Maybe she wanted meaningless sex and this guy was available. Maybe she wanted him physically despite him being a knobhead. Maybe all sorts of things. Who knows?
As a friend, she told you about it. Probably knowing you might judge her a bit. And she told you anyway. Sounds like you have a strong friendship there. |
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By *ruceyy OP Man 49 weeks ago
London |
"I'm confused - you are a fwb...She doesn't really owe you any explanation - many people wouldn't tell you they had met someone else.
I get that unprotected sex could be an issue - so ok to wait for the next sti all clear... But otherwise it feels a little judgey to me"
Yeah it might be judgey! That's what I'm saying, I'm not asking for validation, I'm asking for honesty. It just feels a little gross to me, and I can't help thinking that way. It's not a conscious thought process |
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"Here's the situ.
Kinda fwb who I was meeting today had a first date yesterday (I'm not looking for that so that's cool BUT she did say she couldn't do Sat with me because of the date) She told me halfway through she didn't even really like him.
But she had sex with him afterwards. Without that protection. And that it wasn't even good.
Now I don't know whether I'm being a sensitive sally but I then said to her ok sorry to hear that, let's not do today eh? And she's losing her mind to that. Saying why etc etc.
Isn't it obvious? I'm not about arguing with people I meet for sex but am I in the wrong here for not finding the idea appealing of her fucking a bad first date the very next day? Or is my thinking absolutely valid?
Just curious to know what you think! Be honest! "
So she doesn't really like him but she fucked him bareback....And told you the sex was shite.
No, you're not wrong, your feelings are perfectly valid. I'd feel the same
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If you don't want to meet up with someone for any reason then the right thing is to be honest with them.
Your feelings are your feelings, and you're allowed to have them.
If it were me, I'd be concerned about their headspace or how honest they were being about not liking them, and I'd like time to resolve my own thoughts on it before seeing them.
Just because someone is a more casual partner doesn't mean you don't have investment or care for them. And it doesn't sound like they'd be fully there today anyway.
If you do meet up, make sure you do use protection from a health point of view  |
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By *ruceyy OP Man 49 weeks ago
London |
"I get where you’re coming from Brucey. It’s hard seeing your friends make bad choices. Or at least, choices *you* think are poor.
Fucking someone you don’t like seems like a kind of self harm, self sabotage, or self hatred. And that points (in your head) to your friend being unhappy or unwell. And, because you’re a man, your instinct is probably to try and ‘fix’ that.
Truth is, she might have a different take on it. Maybe she wanted meaningless sex and this guy was available. Maybe she wanted him physically despite him being a knobhead. Maybe all sorts of things. Who knows?
As a friend, she told you about it. Probably knowing you might judge her a bit. And she told you anyway. Sounds like you have a strong friendship there."
To be clear I'm not gonna tell her she's a gross woman and block her
This is very much about not wanting to fuck her the very next day (today) due to it. Maybe Racys right and I want her to explore that more while also having pity horn. Its a weird mix. But I'm not writing her off as a bad person or anything - I just don't want to have sex with her today now
Though the way she's acting is alarming and may end that to be fair |
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"Here's the situ.
Kinda fwb who I was meeting today had a first date yesterday (I'm not looking for that so that's cool BUT she did say she couldn't do Sat with me because of the date) She told me halfway through she didn't even really like him.
But she had sex with him afterwards. Without that protection. And that it wasn't even good.
Now I don't know whether I'm being a sensitive sally but I then said to her ok sorry to hear that, let's not do today eh? And she's losing her mind to that. Saying why etc etc.
Isn't it obvious? I'm not about arguing with people I meet for sex but am I in the wrong here for not finding the idea appealing of her fucking a bad first date the very next day? Or is my thinking absolutely valid?
Just curious to know what you think! Be honest! "
What is it you don't find appealing OP? Is it the unprotected sex? Or is it subconsciously that you feel like you've been pushed back and he's been prioritised over you? |
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"I get where you’re coming from Brucey. It’s hard seeing your friends make bad choices. Or at least, choices *you* think are poor.
Fucking someone you don’t like seems like a kind of self harm, self sabotage, or self hatred. And that points (in your head) to your friend being unhappy or unwell. And, because you’re a man, your instinct is probably to try and ‘fix’ that.
Truth is, she might have a different take on it. Maybe she wanted meaningless sex and this guy was available. Maybe she wanted him physically despite him being a knobhead. Maybe all sorts of things. Who knows?
As a friend, she told you about it. Probably knowing you might judge her a bit. And she told you anyway. Sounds like you have a strong friendship there.
To be clear I'm not gonna tell her she's a gross woman and block her
This is very much about not wanting to fuck her the very next day (today) due to it. Maybe Racys right and I want her to explore that more while also having pity horn. Its a weird mix. But I'm not writing her off as a bad person or anything - I just don't want to have sex with her today now
Though the way she's acting is alarming and may end that to be fair "
Wonder if she was trying to make you jealous then, it seems odd to me to tell you about having sex with someone she doesn't really like...
Maybe she likes you more than you realise |
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By *ruceyy OP Man 49 weeks ago
London |
"I get where you’re coming from Brucey. It’s hard seeing your friends make bad choices. Or at least, choices *you* think are poor.
Fucking someone you don’t like seems like a kind of self harm, self sabotage, or self hatred. And that points (in your head) to your friend being unhappy or unwell. And, because you’re a man, your instinct is probably to try and ‘fix’ that.
Truth is, she might have a different take on it. Maybe she wanted meaningless sex and this guy was available. Maybe she wanted him physically despite him being a knobhead. Maybe all sorts of things. Who knows?
As a friend, she told you about it. Probably knowing you might judge her a bit. And she told you anyway. Sounds like you have a strong friendship there.
To be clear I'm not gonna tell her she's a gross woman and block her
This is very much about not wanting to fuck her the very next day (today) due to it. Maybe Racys right and I want her to explore that more while also having pity horn. Its a weird mix. But I'm not writing her off as a bad person or anything - I just don't want to have sex with her today now
Though the way she's acting is alarming and may end that to be fair
Wonder if she was trying to make you jealous then, it seems odd to me to tell you about having sex with someone she doesn't really like...
Maybe she likes you more than you realise "
It's a bad way to go about it if she does!
I knew she was going on a date and I have supported her to find a 'man' so that's no issue. And it's good she's been honest but it's the way she's saying she didn't like him and is so ashamed etc...but she's still there in a hotel with him!
Just doesn't give me good vibes. She's now being better about not meeting today but still...I'm not sure I want to again? |
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By *ruceyy OP Man 49 weeks ago
London |
"Here's the situ.
Kinda fwb who I was meeting today had a first date yesterday (I'm not looking for that so that's cool BUT she did say she couldn't do Sat with me because of the date) She told me halfway through she didn't even really like him.
But she had sex with him afterwards. Without that protection. And that it wasn't even good.
Now I don't know whether I'm being a sensitive sally but I then said to her ok sorry to hear that, let's not do today eh? And she's losing her mind to that. Saying why etc etc.
Isn't it obvious? I'm not about arguing with people I meet for sex but am I in the wrong here for not finding the idea appealing of her fucking a bad first date the very next day? Or is my thinking absolutely valid?
Just curious to know what you think! Be honest!
What is it you don't find appealing OP? Is it the unprotected sex? Or is it subconsciously that you feel like you've been pushed back and he's been prioritised over you?"
Very interesting there Willy...I think its both?
I think now that she's had sex with him and is alot more of a relationship person that us types by the way - I'm just gonna let her explore that even though she will get pissy with me. I just don't want to have sex with her at the moment |
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"Here's the situ.
Kinda fwb who I was meeting today had a first date yesterday (I'm not looking for that so that's cool BUT she did say she couldn't do Sat with me because of the date) She told me halfway through she didn't even really like him.
But she had sex with him afterwards. Without that protection. And that it wasn't even good.
Now I don't know whether I'm being a sensitive sally but I then said to her ok sorry to hear that, let's not do today eh? And she's losing her mind to that. Saying why etc etc.
Isn't it obvious? I'm not about arguing with people I meet for sex but am I in the wrong here for not finding the idea appealing of her fucking a bad first date the very next day? Or is my thinking absolutely valid?
Just curious to know what you think! Be honest!
What is it you don't find appealing OP? Is it the unprotected sex? Or is it subconsciously that you feel like you've been pushed back and he's been prioritised over you?
Very interesting there Willy...I think its both?
I think now that she's had sex with him and is alot more of a relationship person that us types by the way - I'm just gonna let her explore that even though she will get pissy with me. I just don't want to have sex with her at the moment "
You'll be throwing stones at her window by 9pm saying "baby, I've made a mistake!" |
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It would bother me. I know it’s not fashionable here but if someone I am seeing sleeps with someone they don’t really like and has bad sex I feel personally insulted! I want her to fuck men she is really into that are great in bed. |
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By *ruceyy OP Man 49 weeks ago
London |
"Here's the situ.
Kinda fwb who I was meeting today had a first date yesterday (I'm not looking for that so that's cool BUT she did say she couldn't do Sat with me because of the date) She told me halfway through she didn't even really like him.
But she had sex with him afterwards. Without that protection. And that it wasn't even good.
Now I don't know whether I'm being a sensitive sally but I then said to her ok sorry to hear that, let's not do today eh? And she's losing her mind to that. Saying why etc etc.
Isn't it obvious? I'm not about arguing with people I meet for sex but am I in the wrong here for not finding the idea appealing of her fucking a bad first date the very next day? Or is my thinking absolutely valid?
Just curious to know what you think! Be honest!
What is it you don't find appealing OP? Is it the unprotected sex? Or is it subconsciously that you feel like you've been pushed back and he's been prioritised over you?
Very interesting there Willy...I think its both?
I think now that she's had sex with him and is alot more of a relationship person that us types by the way - I'm just gonna let her explore that even though she will get pissy with me. I just don't want to have sex with her at the moment
You'll be throwing stones at her window by 9pm saying "baby, I've made a mistake!" "
Even I have more control over my penis than to do something stupid like that |
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By *ruceyy OP Man 49 weeks ago
London |
"It would bother me. I know it’s not fashionable here but if someone I am seeing sleeps with someone they don’t really like and has bad sex I feel personally insulted! I want her to fuck men she is really into that are great in bed. "
I mean...I wouldn't go that far but whatever it is it isn't making sense to me and I'm not down to give her a better time |
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"I get where you’re coming from Brucey. It’s hard seeing your friends make bad choices. Or at least, choices *you* think are poor.
Fucking someone you don’t like seems like a kind of self harm, self sabotage, or self hatred. And that points (in your head) to your friend being unhappy or unwell. And, because you’re a man, your instinct is probably to try and ‘fix’ that.
Truth is, she might have a different take on it. Maybe she wanted meaningless sex and this guy was available. Maybe she wanted him physically despite him being a knobhead. Maybe all sorts of things. Who knows?
As a friend, she told you about it. Probably knowing you might judge her a bit. And she told you anyway. Sounds like you have a strong friendship there.
To be clear I'm not gonna tell her she's a gross woman and block her
This is very much about not wanting to fuck her the very next day (today) due to it. Maybe Racys right and I want her to explore that more while also having pity horn. Its a weird mix. But I'm not writing her off as a bad person or anything - I just don't want to have sex with her today now
Though the way she's acting is alarming and may end that to be fair
Wonder if she was trying to make you jealous then, it seems odd to me to tell you about having sex with someone she doesn't really like...
Maybe she likes you more than you realise
It's a bad way to go about it if she does!
I knew she was going on a date and I have supported her to find a 'man' so that's no issue. And it's good she's been honest but it's the way she's saying she didn't like him and is so ashamed etc...but she's still there in a hotel with him!
Just doesn't give me good vibes. She's now being better about not meeting today but still...I'm not sure I want to again? "
Completely understand that, the words not matching the actions. I would be thinking exactly the same as you. |
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"Here's the site.
Kinda fwb who I was meeting today had a first date yesterday (I'm not looking for that so that's cool BUT she did say she couldn't do Sat with me because of the date) She told me halfway through she didn't even really like him.
But she had sex with him afterwards. Without that protection. And that it wasn't even good.
Now I don't know whether I'm being a sensitive sally but I then said to her ok sorry to hear that, let's not do today eh? And she's losing her mind to that. Saying why etc etc.
Isn't it obvious? I'm not about arguing with people I meet for sex but am I in the wrong here for not finding the idea appealing of her fucking a bad first date the very next day? Or is my thinking absolutely valid?
Just curious to know what you think! Be honest! "
A simple question, before any verdict. When she told you she couldn't do Sat because the date, adding she didn't like him, did you ask her to cancel the meeting a take you instead? Or did you play cool by saying go for that, we can't meet tomorrow? Crucial information. |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"I'm confused - you are a fwb...She doesn't really owe you any explanation - many people wouldn't tell you they had met someone else.
I get that unprotected sex could be an issue - so ok to wait for the next sti all clear... But otherwise it feels a little judgey to me
Yeah it might be judgey! That's what I'm saying, I'm not asking for validation, I'm asking for honesty. It just feels a little gross to me, and I can't help thinking that way. It's not a conscious thought process "
Hmmmm i think you need to do a little self-reflecting - either you have green eyes, or your ego is bruised.
Loads of people have bad sex with people they don't necessarily fancy - how do you know if the sex is good until you get down to it?
I'm really curious as to why it should bother you so much ... To say what someone else does is gross, is quite a lot?
If she'd slept with a 10 and had amazing sex, you are saying that is fine, but by sleeping with someone she didn't really gel with and didn't have great sex, that that reflects on you??
Seriously dude.. Your expectations of her seem a little off |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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I'm with Willy Idol on this one.
And....the lady above who said she probably played it down to soften it all.
Though I'm surprised by the comments about her headspace, shouldn't we be patting her on the back for being the open and sexually liberated?
Is it the thought of someone else's spunk still being present that puts a man off? No one likes sloppy seconds right?
Well actually that's not true there are men that love that. Gives them an ego boost knowing the woman still wants to fuck them and would still say yes after someone else.
Or maybe it's the fact she's not as sexually charged as she's bee fucked already which takes away the thrill for the second guy.
It's funny though isn't it, because two guys in a threesome is fine, but separately, a shower/bath and 24 hours between it becomes something quite ick |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"I'm confused - you are a fwb...She doesn't really owe you any explanation - many people wouldn't tell you they had met someone else.
I get that unprotected sex could be an issue - so ok to wait for the next sti all clear... But otherwise it feels a little judgey to me
Yeah it might be judgey! That's what I'm saying, I'm not asking for validation, I'm asking for honesty. It just feels a little gross to me, and I can't help thinking that way. It's not a conscious thought process
Hmmmm i think you need to do a little self-reflecting - either you have green eyes, or your ego is bruised.
Loads of people have bad sex with people they don't necessarily fancy - how do you know if the sex is good until you get down to it?
I'm really curious as to why it should bother you so much ... To say what someone else does is gross, is quite a lot?
If she'd slept with a 10 and had amazing sex, you are saying that is fine, but by sleeping with someone she didn't really gel with and didn't have great sex, that that reflects on you??
Seriously dude.. Your expectations of her seem a little off"
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Your not wrong, I wouldn't be fucking anyone the next day after they'd bare backed.
Plus to be honest that low a standard to fuck someone there's zero interest in it even liked him would be a huge turn off for me.
I like to know someone is into me and not any holes a goal, that would totally put me off.
Mrs |
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I would want to check she's ok. I hope I'm not alone here with having gone further than I wanted to with someone just because I couldn't work out the right way to say no. Yeah I'm older and stronger now so I like to think it wouldn't happen but I still have those people pleasing tendencies.
Just another viewpoint and not necessarily applicable to your/her situation.
J |
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"If a woman had posted this...everyone would be saying how they did they right thing in not meeting.
"
Probably. I think going with your gut is always the right decision and then taking the time to work out why afterwards.
J |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"I get where you’re coming from Brucey. It’s hard seeing your friends make bad choices. Or at least, choices *you* think are poor.
Fucking someone you don’t like seems like a kind of self harm, self sabotage, or self hatred. And that points (in your head) to your friend being unhappy or unwell. And, because you’re a man, your instinct is probably to try and ‘fix’ that.
Truth is, she might have a different take on it. Maybe she wanted meaningless sex and this guy was available. Maybe she wanted him physically despite him being a knobhead. Maybe all sorts of things. Who knows?
As a friend, she told you about it. Probably knowing you might judge her a bit. And she told you anyway. Sounds like you have a strong friendship there.
To be clear I'm not gonna tell her she's a gross woman and block her
This is very much about not wanting to fuck her the very next day (today) due to it. Maybe Racys right and I want her to explore that more while also having pity horn. Its a weird mix. But I'm not writing her off as a bad person or anything - I just don't want to have sex with her today now
Though the way she's acting is alarming and may end that to be fair
Wonder if she was trying to make you jealous then, it seems odd to me to tell you about having sex with someone she doesn't really like...
Maybe she likes you more than you realise
It's a bad way to go about it if she does!
I knew she was going on a date and I have supported her to find a 'man' so that's no issue. And it's good she's been honest but it's the way she's saying she didn't like him and is so ashamed etc...but she's still there in a hotel with him!
Just doesn't give me good vibes. She's now being better about not meeting today but still...I'm not sure I want to again? "
She's messaging you while in bed with him? 
She might be telling him you're a shit shag and she's glad she met him instead.
Check her veri later. |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"I would want to check she's ok. I hope I'm not alone here with having gone further than I wanted to with someone just because I couldn't work out the right way to say no. Yeah I'm older and stronger now so I like to think it wouldn't happen but I still have those people pleasing tendencies.
Just another viewpoint and not necessarily applicable to your/her situation.
J"
I'd agree but she's still in bed with him. Good story for their kids. |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"If a woman had posted this...everyone would be saying how they did they right thing in not meeting.
Probably. I think going with your gut is always the right decision and then taking the time to work out why afterwards.
J"
Oh definitely. |
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"Your not wrong, I wouldn't be fucking anyone the next day after they'd bare backed.
Plus to be honest that low a standard to fuck someone there's zero interest in it even liked him would be a huge turn off for me.
I like to know someone is into me and not any holes a goal, that would totally put me off.
Mrs "
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By *eliWoman 49 weeks ago
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If it's not for you, it's not for you Brucey. And that's okay. It wouldn't be for me either; I've found before I've found myself asking "why? Why are you telling me you've had a crap date but fucked them anyway?". I kind of lose a bit of respect for them I guess?
It's from my own moral viewpoint which doesn't mean it's the gospel truth, obviously! |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"Here's the situ.
Kinda fwb who I was meeting today had a first date yesterday (I'm not looking for that so that's cool BUT she did say she couldn't do Sat with me because of the date) She told me halfway through she didn't even really like him.
But she had sex with him afterwards. Without that protection. And that it wasn't even good.
Now I don't know whether I'm being a sensitive sally but I then said to her ok sorry to hear that, let's not do today eh? And she's losing her mind to that. Saying why etc etc.
Isn't it obvious? I'm not about arguing with people I meet for sex but am I in the wrong here for not finding the idea appealing of her fucking a bad first date the very next day? Or is my thinking absolutely valid?
Just curious to know what you think! Be honest! "
OP
I think it’s valid, shows that she’s just really out to shag anyone or anything. I’d prefer someone who had a bit more class about her. If you’re going to shag someone at least do it with someone you are attracted to ffs, I just don’t understand the logic myself |
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No no and no.
Why would she have unprotected sex, with someone she didn't even like and expect you to be ok with that? And want to go there the very next day... Nah ah!
Shows a massive lack of respect for you, whatever the dynamic. |
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By *ruceyy OP Man 49 weeks ago
London |
"I'm confused - you are a fwb...She doesn't really owe you any explanation - many people wouldn't tell you they had met someone else.
I get that unprotected sex could be an issue - so ok to wait for the next sti all clear... But otherwise it feels a little judgey to me
Yeah it might be judgey! That's what I'm saying, I'm not asking for validation, I'm asking for honesty. It just feels a little gross to me, and I can't help thinking that way. It's not a conscious thought process
Hmmmm i think you need to do a little self-reflecting - either you have green eyes, or your ego is bruised.
Loads of people have bad sex with people they don't necessarily fancy - how do you know if the sex is good until you get down to it?
I'm really curious as to why it should bother you so much ... To say what someone else does is gross, is quite a lot?
If she'd slept with a 10 and had amazing sex, you are saying that is fine, but by sleeping with someone she didn't really gel with and didn't have great sex, that that reflects on you??
Seriously dude.. Your expectations of her seem a little off"
It's that she had sex with him despite not liking him knowing we were having sex the next day. I'm not shaming her or anything. But it's put me off, it's that simple really? |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"The solution here would be for you to have unprotected sex with the guy which evens things out between you and your date, and leaves the guy with a sore bottom."
And video it |
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By *ruceyy OP Man 49 weeks ago
London |
"I get where you’re coming from Brucey. It’s hard seeing your friends make bad choices. Or at least, choices *you* think are poor.
Fucking someone you don’t like seems like a kind of self harm, self sabotage, or self hatred. And that points (in your head) to your friend being unhappy or unwell. And, because you’re a man, your instinct is probably to try and ‘fix’ that.
Truth is, she might have a different take on it. Maybe she wanted meaningless sex and this guy was available. Maybe she wanted him physically despite him being a knobhead. Maybe all sorts of things. Who knows?
As a friend, she told you about it. Probably knowing you might judge her a bit. And she told you anyway. Sounds like you have a strong friendship there.
To be clear I'm not gonna tell her she's a gross woman and block her
This is very much about not wanting to fuck her the very next day (today) due to it. Maybe Racys right and I want her to explore that more while also having pity horn. Its a weird mix. But I'm not writing her off as a bad person or anything - I just don't want to have sex with her today now
Though the way she's acting is alarming and may end that to be fair
Wonder if she was trying to make you jealous then, it seems odd to me to tell you about having sex with someone she doesn't really like...
Maybe she likes you more than you realise
It's a bad way to go about it if she does!
I knew she was going on a date and I have supported her to find a 'man' so that's no issue. And it's good she's been honest but it's the way she's saying she didn't like him and is so ashamed etc...but she's still there in a hotel with him!
Just doesn't give me good vibes. She's now being better about not meeting today but still...I'm not sure I want to again?
She's messaging you while in bed with him?
She might be telling him you're a shit shag and she's glad she met him instead.
Check her veri later."
Not a fabber! She also definitely wants a relationship and to have a bf, which I've made clear I don't. She's absolutely entitled to have sex, but Im not travelling to give her a better time now |
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By *ruceyy OP Man 49 weeks ago
London |
"No no and no.
Why would she have unprotected sex, with someone she didn't even like and expect you to be ok with that? And want to go there the very next day... Nah ah!
Shows a massive lack of respect for you, whatever the dynamic."
It's just friends really, not even super close but we match sexually really well. |
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By *ruceyy OP Man 49 weeks ago
London |
"The solution here would be for you to have unprotected sex with the guy which evens things out between you and your date, and leaves the guy with a sore bottom.
And video it"
Gross!
Also Nora you're fine don't you worry |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"No no and no.
Why would she have unprotected sex, with someone she didn't even like and expect you to be ok with that? And want to go there the very next day... Nah ah!
Shows a massive lack of respect for you, whatever the dynamic.
It's just friends really, not even super close but we match sexually really well."
Just fuck her then. FB and not FWB. 
Otherwise bin it off. Not worth the shite. You deserve better. |
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By *ruceyy OP Man 49 weeks ago
London |
"No no and no.
Why would she have unprotected sex, with someone she didn't even like and expect you to be ok with that? And want to go there the very next day... Nah ah!
Shows a massive lack of respect for you, whatever the dynamic.
It's just friends really, not even super close but we match sexually really well.
Just fuck her then. FB and not FWB.
Otherwise bin it off. Not worth the shite. You deserve better. "
Aww hun!
I think I'm gonna wrap it up (not my penis) - it was good sex while it happened! |
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You only should meet when it's right for you, irrespective of your values and opinion. But no strings casual relationships will involve people who do things with others that you perhaps wouldn't do yourself with them or anyone |
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By *ruceyy OP Man 49 weeks ago
London |
"I wouldn't trust her if she's having bareback sex then wants to meet you the next day"
Ah she's fine, I'm not anti her in any way but yeah, I'm not going. Should have been happening now! Silly! |
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By *rRiosMan 49 weeks ago
dublin |
"
Hmmmm i think you need to do a little self-reflecting - either you have green eyes, or your ego is bruised.
Loads of people have bad sex with people they don't necessarily fancy - how do you know if the sex is good until you get down to it?
I'm really curious as to why it should bother you so much ... To say what someone else does is gross, is quite a lot?
If she'd slept with a 10 and had amazing sex, you are saying that is fine, but by sleeping with someone she didn't really gel with and didn't have great sex, that that reflects on you??
Seriously dude.. Your expectations of her seem a little off"
My take would be bruised ego. If you break it down from OP perspective. He was second choice, for a shit date, that he was texted during, while he was sitting at home twiddling his thumbs, and he probably squared the circle that if it was shit it would not go further and he would show her a good time tomorrow.
But then it did go further
From her perspective, she is in a healthy fwb situation and she was just sharing her experience. And she can have sex with who she wants.
The self-reflecting is also a good shout. Maybe you need to redefine how much friends in the fwb you want and communicate that clearly.
But sure what do fuckin know I spent Saturday night watching YouTube |
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"If you don't want to meet up with someone for any reason then the right thing is to be honest with them.
Your feelings are your feelings, and you're allowed to have them.
If it were me, I'd be concerned about their headspace or how honest they were being about not liking them, and I'd like time to resolve my own thoughts on it before seeing them.
Just because someone is a more casual partner doesn't mean you don't have investment or care for them. And it doesn't sound like they'd be fully there today anyway.
If you do meet up, make sure you do use protection from a health point of view "
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"I would want to check she's ok. I hope I'm not alone here with having gone further than I wanted to with someone just because I couldn't work out the right way to say no. Yeah I'm older and stronger now so I like to think it wouldn't happen but I still have those people pleasing tendencies.
Just another viewpoint and not necessarily applicable to your/her situation.
J"
Yes. This too. |
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"You only should meet when it's right for you, irrespective of your values and opinion. But no strings casual relationships will involve people who do things with others that you perhaps wouldn't do yourself with them or anyone "
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I’ll assume that was a joke.