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By *hirley OP Man 50 weeks ago
somewhere |
Do you keep friends around you who you feel are not as intelligent as you or lacking certain key morals for example? Key morals being fairly subjective to you as an individual really.
Or are you more likely to distance yourself from any such people you get those thoughts and feelings about? Maybe you don't naturally consider that about someone at all without external influences? |
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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You can’t judge someone by your own standards or morals. They are personal to you.
For me it’s too broad a question.
Differences are good and can help educate. Extreme differences and I don’t think we’d be friends especially if they are not willing to at least acknowledge my point of view |
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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I guess there are broad moral parameters I would expect. I couldn’t be friends with a holocaust denier for example.
But usually when people talk about morality they actually mean integrity. |
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Big questions for early on a Saturday morning. Morals and intelligence aren't necessarily connected.
I would say my good friends and I all share similar values. We're probably all of a similar level of intelligence by the obvious measures too, but I would say "intelligence" is less of a factor in forming a friendship than other qualities you might be drawn to in a person. |
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Emmm, the friends I've made from childhood who may lack certain morals(if that's even the right way for me to put it) will always be friends. Anyone since then that I've made friends I've been drawn to for their humour and conversation skills or if we have similar interests. If those those friends turned out to be kinda crazy in whatever way, then I would see them less. If we still get on then I wouldn't cut them out entirely. |
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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"Do you keep friends around you who you feel are not as intelligent as you or lacking certain key morals for example? Key morals being fairly subjective to you as an individual really.
Or are you more likely to distance yourself from any such people you get those thoughts and feelings about? Maybe you don't naturally consider that about someone at all without external influences?"
Depends what you mean by friends.
If it's friends in the general sense then I don't judge.
But friends I sleep with that then show me a lack of morals is different. |
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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Have a few close friends and have similar morals and sense of humour to me. Find that this is more important than anything else. All have slightly different out look on life etc due to experience.
Morals and sense 9f honour is more important than anything else! |
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I have friends who are comprised of qualities and traits based upon shared interests and mutual empathy. Some are more savvy and worldly-wise than me, some less so and the majority are on-par. It's not something I've really thought about when forging and maintaining friendships. |
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My friends range from thick as mince to very intelligent and growing up where I grew up some of the have very questionable morals. I take people at face value. If someone is nice to me then I can be friends with them. |
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I haven't given this much consideration until this post popped up. Mostly my friends are the people who can put up with me and my odd ways.
They seem to like me and I like them. They're different to me in a lot of ways you mention but with one exception we accept that and it's among the reasons we like each other. There is the one who tries to bend me to her way of thinking all the time but I don't take any notice and she knows it  |
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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Ummm some of my friends share values, some don't - but there are features that we are drawn to, others that we choose to ignore or distance ourselves from
My biggest challenge is the majority of my family /friends eat animals  |
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"Do you keep friends around you who you feel are not as intelligent as you or lacking certain key morals for example? Key morals being fairly subjective to you as an individual really.
Or are you more likely to distance yourself from any such people you get those thoughts and feelings about? Maybe you don't naturally consider that about someone at all without external influences?"
I've come to realise way too late that people are not perfect and develop in different ways. For me tolerance and even encouragement of differences at times is a happier place. |
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"What’s a friend?
To me a friend is someone who does what Heineken does, "Gets to the parts that others cannot reach," And a friend in need is a pain in the arse!"
A friend in need is a pain in the arse? How lovely 
Sadly lots of people only seem to stick around for the good times. It's why my friendship circle is more of a pin head than a hula-hoop these days. It's surprising how many "friends" can't cope with their "friend" acquiring a disability. |
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".
But friends I sleep with that then show me a lack of morals is different.
You sleep with friends? Or do you become friends?
I couldn't imagine that and know it wouldn't pan out well."
Same. I only sleep with the enemy. |
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"What’s a friend?
To me a friend is someone who does what Heineken does, "Gets to the parts that others cannot reach," And a friend in need is a pain in the arse!
A friend in need is a pain in the arse? How lovely
Sadly lots of people only seem to stick around for the good times. It's why my friendship circle is more of a pin head than a hula-hoop these days. It's surprising how many "friends" can't cope with their "friend" acquiring a disability. "
This is very true. Although I'd rather that than the ones who pay lip service by saying things like "anything you need just ask" but don't actually mean it. |
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"What’s a friend?
To me a friend is someone who does what Heineken does, "Gets to the parts that others cannot reach," And a friend in need is a pain in the arse!
A friend in need is a pain in the arse? How lovely
Sadly lots of people only seem to stick around for the good times. It's why my friendship circle is more of a pin head than a hula-hoop these days. It's surprising how many "friends" can't cope with their "friend" acquiring a disability. "
That’s awful. I’m sorry that’s happened to you x |
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"What’s a friend?
To me a friend is someone who does what Heineken does, "Gets to the parts that others cannot reach," And a friend in need is a pain in the arse!
A friend in need is a pain in the arse? How lovely
Sadly lots of people only seem to stick around for the good times. It's why my friendship circle is more of a pin head than a hula-hoop these days. It's surprising how many "friends" can't cope with their "friend" acquiring a disability.
This is very true. Although I'd rather that than the ones who pay lip service by saying things like "anything you need just ask" but don't actually mean it. "
Can’t thumb this up enough times. |
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I once knew a woman who told me her friends had different uses  and there were specific reasons she kept them around. Apparently I was the only one her sister could bear to be around for more than five minutes.
We're not friends any more |
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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I have no need of friendship, friendship causes pain…
Acquaintances I have many. If I’m honest, I tend to keep people at a distance. Past loss of friends, as in dead, is not an experience I wish to repeat. |
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By *hirley OP Man 50 weeks ago
somewhere |
Just to add to my initial question, I don't think there's necessarily a right or wrong in this. It's entirely specific to the individuals own mind and in turn, your honesty in admission of how you operate your business.
For me I usually keep a small circle of friends, as I'm particular about things, some things very much so, which will no doubt rub people up the wrong way as much as it does me, with them not "complying" for want of a better word, with the way I see it. But it's probably more the case I'm physically and emotionally incapable of having more than as many that I can count on one hand as my definition of a friend |
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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I think it depends on how much their good tendacies outweigh the bad. A lack of intelligence isn't necessarily a bad thing but if their morals are downright awful or non-existent then I can't see a way that having them as a friend would be if any pleasure to me |
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By *hirley OP Man 50 weeks ago
somewhere |
"I guess there are broad moral parameters I would expect. I couldn’t be friends with a holocaust denier for example.
But usually when people talk about morality they actually mean integrity. "
This is true
But to ascertain that can take another characteristic that varies too, in patience. |
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"Do you keep friends around you who you feel are not as intelligent as you or lacking certain key morals for example? Key morals being fairly subjective to you as an individual really.
Or are you more likely to distance yourself from any such people you get those thoughts and feelings about? Maybe you don't naturally consider that about someone at all without external influences?"
Good discussion point ….. All my close friends have similar morals, ethics and outlook on life as my self.
People I meet that don’t have these then don’t become my close friends or even acquaintances |
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By *hirley OP Man 50 weeks ago
somewhere |
"Big questions for early on a Saturday morning. Morals and intelligence aren't necessarily connected.
I would say my good friends and I all share similar values. We're probably all of a similar level of intelligence by the obvious measures too, but I would say "intelligence" is less of a factor in forming a friendship than other qualities you might be drawn to in a person."
My opinion, but intelligence is very intertwined with the way you react socially to me. |
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I'd rather not be stuck in an echo chamber.
There are certain things that I find abhorrent and I'd not be comfortable spending time with people who expressed attitudes that are distasteful/hateful to others. It's not about moral superiority, as there are things about me that others would view as repugnantly sick. We are all equals but our choices can leave us to become uncomfortable for others to be with. |
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I guess from my own point of view I have many mates, spread pretty much globally. Of I'm away, I know I can pick up the phone and message them (fuck talking to people) and there will be a bed, a beer and a great catch up. Sometimes over 20 plus years.
I reckon I have half a dozen friends. The nearest to me about 200 miles and one of them I haven't seen in 10 years. But we have been though thick and thin and will always have each others' backs if one of us is going through a hard time.
I guess with Whats App groups and SM you really are never too far away from anyone now. I don't think I will ever add to the friend circle as this has been built up over many years but there are always spaces for mates. The difference being that I won't rip the piss out of mates. That is only reserved for friends. |
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"I'd rather not be stuck in an echo chamber.
There are certain things that I find abhorrent and I'd not be comfortable spending time with people who expressed attitudes that are distasteful/hateful to others. It's not about moral superiority, as there are things about me that others would view as repugnantly sick. We are all equals but our choices can leave us to become uncomfortable for others to be with. "
I very much agree with your first sentence. |
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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A friend is a friend. Intelligence has nothing to do with it. And I doubt they’d be a friend in the first place if you didn’t agree or accept with their morals. |
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By *abioMan 50 weeks ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
Intelligence does not matter to me, some people just happen to be more street smart than academically, for example, the person who can tell when something is about to kick off and can defuse it or get people out of the way isn’t something they teach! …
.a different Morals set would be way more incompatible thing for me .. can’t be mates with you if I don’t really respect you |
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"Do you keep friends around you who you feel are not as intelligent as you or lacking certain key morals for example? Key morals being fairly subjective to you as an individual really.
Or are you more likely to distance yourself from any such people you get those thoughts and feelings about? Maybe you don't naturally consider that about someone at all without external influences?"
"Intelligence" comes in many forms. Maybe look at it the other way too. Hold the mirror up. Are my values and intelligence acceptable to others or influence my ability to make and retain friends. Relationships are not just one way streets. |
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"Intelligence does not matter to me, some people just happen to be more street smart than academically, for example, the person who can tell when something is about to kick off and can defuse it or get people out of the way isn’t something they teach! …
.a different Morals set would be way more incompatible thing for me .. can’t be mates with you if I don’t really respect you "
Also could you be friends with someone who saw your partner as fair game if the opportunity were to arise?
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By *abioMan 50 weeks ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"It’s been said that you are the sum of the Nearest 5 people around you.
If you associate with 5 assholes………"
It’s like the old question… if you are in a group and ask “who’s the asshole?” And no one answers…. The likelihood is that it’s you!!  |
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"It’s been said that you are the sum of the Nearest 5 people around you.
If you associate with 5 assholes………
It’s like the old question… if you are in a group and ask “who’s the asshole?” And no one answers…. The likelihood is that it’s you!! "
This is also true, and a question I’d dare’nt ask myself! |
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By *hirley OP Man 50 weeks ago
somewhere |
"Intelligence does not matter to me, some people just happen to be more street smart than academically, for example, the person who can tell when something is about to kick off and can defuse it or get people out of the way isn’t something they teach! …
.a different Morals set would be way more incompatible thing for me .. can’t be mates with you if I don’t really respect you "
This is very important point to add, intelligence is also a subjective description of someone |
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"Do you keep friends around you who you feel are not as intelligent as you or lacking certain key morals for example? Key morals being fairly subjective to you as an individual really.
Or are you more likely to distance yourself from any such people you get those thoughts and feelings about? Maybe you don't naturally consider that about someone at all without external influences?"
My friends are very different people. I wont pretend I don't prefer the company of those on a similar level and wavelength for more intimate relationships, but I have friends who are  Tories or less capable of the kind of reasoning and analysis I like to do on everything.
If you only surround yourself with people who completely agree with you and your own morality it's an unhealthy little echo chamber. I like to do my best to see and understand alternative points of view, and I like to be able to have friends I can have those conversations with, rather than go argue on the Internet or just hunker down in my little I'm right bunker because the people around me only reinforce my existing beliefs  |
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By *abioMan 50 weeks ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Intelligence does not matter to me, some people just happen to be more street smart than academically, for example, the person who can tell when something is about to kick off and can defuse it or get people out of the way isn’t something they teach! …
.a different Morals set would be way more incompatible thing for me .. can’t be mates with you if I don’t really respect you
This is very important point to add, intelligence is also a subjective description of someone"
Absolutely… intelligence is subjective, morality is way more problematic |
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My closest friends have a similar mind set to me, especially my best friend who I've known 37 years.
We share the same sort of morals and shes more intelligent than me though.
I don't think I could be friends with someone whose views and outlook were massively different to mine tbh. |
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