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By *odevil OP Woman 50 weeks ago
exeter |
I think carpet burn is a hilariously funny injury to sustain during sex and I thought this might make an amusing thread.
I don't mean horror stories that have landed you in hospital (unless they're also comical)
Have you ever had a sex related injury that made you laugh? |
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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Currently got one the now think it maybe permanent as well didn’t even feel it happen
Got friction burn at the top off my thighs in that little part bween the thigh and bum cheek off a sex swing chain or something must have been dig in to me
Didn’t notice till afterwards and got up to go get washed I noticed I was bleeding
That was 3 weeks ago it’s healed now but still have a red mark whare it was
Going to need to make up a story for that one
As If it’s permanent I sure a person asking what that is inst going to want to here the truth
That it’s a burn mark off a sex swing from being gangbanged off 7 guys  |
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By *odevil OP Woman 50 weeks ago
exeter |
"Currently got one the now think it maybe permanent as well didn’t even feel it happen
Got friction burn at the top off my thighs in that little part bween the thigh and bum cheek off a sex swing chain or something must have been dig in to me
Didn’t notice till afterwards and got up to go get washed I noticed I was bleeding
That was 3 weeks ago it’s healed now but still have a red mark whare it was
Going to need to make up a story for that one
As If it’s permanent I sure a person asking what that is inst going to want to here the truth
That it’s a burn mark off a sex swing from being gangbanged off 7 guys "
Oooh yesss! We could also use this thread to think of funny stories for the purposes of covering up the real reason! Great game! |
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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"Currently got one the now think it maybe permanent as well didn’t even feel it happen
Got friction burn at the top off my thighs in that little part bween the thigh and bum cheek off a sex swing chain or something must have been dig in to me
Didn’t notice till afterwards and got up to go get washed I noticed I was bleeding
That was 3 weeks ago it’s healed now but still have a red mark whare it was
Going to need to make up a story for that one
As If it’s permanent I sure a person asking what that is inst going to want to here the truth
That it’s a burn mark off a sex swing from being gangbanged off 7 guys
Oooh yesss! We could also use this thread to think of funny stories for the purposes of covering up the real reason! Great game! "
That would most definitely be a good game |
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I nearly had my dick snapped due to a poorly timed punnanny spasm. Put me off pounding for a while.
One minute I was thrusting like a mad man next I’m rolling on the floor in fear and agony.
Funny how the pain left after we were confident no splint was required. lol
I know someone who snapped twice. Showed me the bandages!!! lol
I almost asked if I could sign it couldn’t stop laughing at the poor fella!!!
Who knew thrusting could be lethal!!!? |
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"Standard shoulder scratches and grazes from thigh high leather boot eyelets.
To clarify. I wasn't wearing the boots.
We're they sore? Did they make you smile? Did anyone else notice them? "
In the heat of the moment, no pain was felt. Smile... Oh yeah the boots are fucking amazing. I have a job and do activities where bumps and bruises are part of the game. |
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"I nearly had my dick snapped due to a poorly timed punnanny spasm. Put me off pounding for a while.
One minute I was thrusting like a mad man next I’m rolling on the floor in fear and agony.
Funny how the pain left after we were confident no splint was required. lol
I know someone who snapped twice. Showed me the bandages!!! lol
I almost asked if I could sign it couldn’t stop laughing at the poor fella!!!
Who knew thrusting could be lethal!!!?"
Oooft. Nothing worse than that my man. I had a mate snap his banjo string. Blood everywhere.
Fuck I just grabbed my cock in telekinetic empathy |
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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D*unken pulled hamstring putting a leg up on the bed for a better angle kills the the mood a bit 
Bet most blokes have had the heel down the side of the stomach. Another one relating to drinking for me.
Think the answer is not to have d*unk sex! Haha. |
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We've had all kinds of friction burns, scratches, and abrasions around wrists. Excuses have ranged from plausible to completely stupid. From 'fell off my bike' for friction burns to the knees to 'pruning a holly bush' for scratches on arms and shoulders. Wrist abrasions are difficult to explain away. Ailsa did once tell our friends that she was briefly abducted
What about you OP. What's your best/funniest sex injury? Xx |
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By *odevil OP Woman 50 weeks ago
exeter |
"We've had all kinds of friction burns, scratches, and abrasions around wrists. Excuses have ranged from plausible to completely stupid. From 'fell off my bike' for friction burns to the knees to 'pruning a holly bush' for scratches on arms and shoulders. Wrist abrasions are difficult to explain away. Ailsa did once tell our friends that she was briefly abducted
What about you OP. What's your best/funniest sex injury? Xx"
I got jizz in my eye once which, by the way, is very painful but also very funny.
Another time a very enthusiastic chap fucked me right off the bed and I banged my head. He got inexplicably very angry with me when I started laughing which only made it funnier to me.
I have also explained away a split lip by saying that I'd accidentally hit myself whilst trying to brush my very unruly, tangled hair - the funniest part being that everyone I told wasn't the least bit surprised and thought it was completely plausible that I might accidentally punch myself in the face. |
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By *odevil OP Woman 50 weeks ago
exeter |
"Currently got one the now think it maybe permanent as well didn’t even feel it happen
Got friction burn at the top off my thighs in that little part bween the thigh and bum cheek off a sex swing chain or something must have been dig in to me
Didn’t notice till afterwards and got up to go get washed I noticed I was bleeding
That was 3 weeks ago it’s healed now but still have a red mark whare it was
Going to need to make up a story for that one
As If it’s permanent I sure a person asking what that is inst going to want to here the truth
That it’s a burn mark off a sex swing from being gangbanged off 7 guys
Oooh yesss! We could also use this thread to think of funny stories for the purposes of covering up the real reason! Great game!
That would most definitely be a good game "
You could say you sat on something hot...?
Winter bbq? |
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Ended up in A and E when the head of my cock went through my chastity cage and it stayed swollen… three firemen, 4 doctors. 2 nurses and some heavy machinery later I was free!
Did joke with the firemen that I bet they don’t practice this much!!
All good in the end though! |
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"We've had all kinds of friction burns, scratches, and abrasions around wrists. Excuses have ranged from plausible to completely stupid. From 'fell off my bike' for friction burns to the knees to 'pruning a holly bush' for scratches on arms and shoulders. Wrist abrasions are difficult to explain away. Ailsa did once tell our friends that she was briefly abducted
What about you OP. What's your best/funniest sex injury? Xx
I got jizz in my eye once which, by the way, is very painful but also very funny.
Another time a very enthusiastic chap fucked me right off the bed and I banged my head. He got inexplicably very angry with me when I started laughing which only made it funnier to me.
I have also explained away a split lip by saying that I'd accidentally hit myself whilst trying to brush my very unruly, tangled hair - the funniest part being that everyone I told wasn't the least bit surprised and thought it was completely plausible that I might accidentally punch myself in the face. "
Hahaha… the hair brush is brilliant! We’ve had a bed break - one of the legs snapped - and we both tumbled off. No anger though. I can’t connect anger with sex. Laughter however, very much so Xx |
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"Ended up in A and E when the head of my cock went through my chastity cage and it stayed swollen… three firemen, 4 doctors. 2 nurses and some heavy machinery later I was free!
Did joke with the firemen that I bet they don’t practice this much!!
All good in the end though! "
 . Should I laugh or cry? Maybe both |
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By *odevil OP Woman 50 weeks ago
exeter |
"We've had all kinds of friction burns, scratches, and abrasions around wrists. Excuses have ranged from plausible to completely stupid. From 'fell off my bike' for friction burns to the knees to 'pruning a holly bush' for scratches on arms and shoulders. Wrist abrasions are difficult to explain away. Ailsa did once tell our friends that she was briefly abducted
What about you OP. What's your best/funniest sex injury? Xx
I got jizz in my eye once which, by the way, is very painful but also very funny.
Another time a very enthusiastic chap fucked me right off the bed and I banged my head. He got inexplicably very angry with me when I started laughing which only made it funnier to me.
I have also explained away a split lip by saying that I'd accidentally hit myself whilst trying to brush my very unruly, tangled hair - the funniest part being that everyone I told wasn't the least bit surprised and thought it was completely plausible that I might accidentally punch myself in the face.
Hahaha… the hair brush is brilliant! We’ve had a bed break - one of the legs snapped - and we both tumbled off. No anger though. I can’t connect anger with sex. Laughter however, very much so Xx"
I didn't understand his anger at all! He ended up going off in a strop!
Again, this only made the whole situation more funny. |
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I got in trouble when I masturbated with a back scrub... developed an infection that quickly turned into sepsis ... in hospital for a week and out of it for 3 of those days ffs such a funny story but scary at time .... death by masturbation  |
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"Ended up in A and E when the head of my cock went through my chastity cage and it stayed swollen… three firemen, 4 doctors. 2 nurses and some heavy machinery later I was free!
Did joke with the firemen that I bet they don’t practice this much!!
All good in the end though!
. Should I laugh or cry? Maybe both "
At first I laughed and then it became a bit more serious but never cried… both you should probably laugh!! |
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"We've had all kinds of friction burns, scratches, and abrasions around wrists. Excuses have ranged from plausible to completely stupid. From 'fell off my bike' for friction burns to the knees to 'pruning a holly bush' for scratches on arms and shoulders. Wrist abrasions are difficult to explain away. Ailsa did once tell our friends that she was briefly abducted
What about you OP. What's your best/funniest sex injury? Xx
I got jizz in my eye once which, by the way, is very painful but also very funny.
Another time a very enthusiastic chap fucked me right off the bed and I banged my head. He got inexplicably very angry with me when I started laughing which only made it funnier to me.
I have also explained away a split lip by saying that I'd accidentally hit myself whilst trying to brush my very unruly, tangled hair - the funniest part being that everyone I told wasn't the least bit surprised and thought it was completely plausible that I might accidentally punch myself in the face.
Hahaha… the hair brush is brilliant! We’ve had a bed break - one of the legs snapped - and we both tumbled off. No anger though. I can’t connect anger with sex. Laughter however, very much so Xx
I didn't understand his anger at all! He ended up going off in a strop!
Again, this only made the whole situation more funny. "
Wow, how attractive! An initial moment of concern, sure. Laughing, absolutely. A tongue-in-cheek apology and the promise to kiss it better, of course. But anger? Nope, that makes no sense. Stroppy is never be sexy. |
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"I got in trouble when I masturbated with a back scrub... developed an infection that quickly turned into sepsis ... in hospital for a week and out of it for 3 of those days ffs such a funny story but scary at time .... death by masturbation "
You sound a loofah minute! |
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By *odevil OP Woman 50 weeks ago
exeter |
"I got in trouble when I masturbated with a back scrub... developed an infection that quickly turned into sepsis ... in hospital for a week and out of it for 3 of those days ffs such a funny story but scary at time .... death by masturbation "
I was going to say that this isn't funny at all! So scary! But you got me on the "death by masturbation" bit. Imagine the epitaph |
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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"Currently got one the now think it maybe permanent as well didn’t even feel it happen
Got friction burn at the top off my thighs in that little part bween the thigh and bum cheek off a sex swing chain or something must have been dig in to me
Didn’t notice till afterwards and got up to go get washed I noticed I was bleeding
That was 3 weeks ago it’s healed now but still have a red mark whare it was
Going to need to make up a story for that one
As If it’s permanent I sure a person asking what that is inst going to want to here the truth
That it’s a burn mark off a sex swing from being gangbanged off 7 guys
Oooh yesss! We could also use this thread to think of funny stories for the purposes of covering up the real reason! Great game!
That would most definitely be a good game
You could say you sat on something hot...?
Winter bbq? "
That is a good one my thoughts were along the lines off feel off a bike or something |
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"Ended up in A and E when the head of my cock went through my chastity cage and it stayed swollen… three firemen, 4 doctors. 2 nurses and some heavy machinery later I was free!
Did joke with the firemen that I bet they don’t practice this much!!
All good in the end though! "
 |
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
|
"I nearly had my dick snapped due to a poorly timed punnanny spasm. Put me off pounding for a while.
One minute I was thrusting like a mad man next I’m rolling on the floor in fear and agony.
Funny how the pain left after we were confident no splint was required. lol
I know someone who snapped twice. Showed me the bandages!!! lol
I almost asked if I could sign it couldn’t stop laughing at the poor fella!!!
Who knew thrusting could be lethal!!!?
Oooft. Nothing worse than that my man. I had a mate snap his banjo string. Blood everywhere.
Fuck I just grabbed my cock in telekinetic empathy "
I snapped my university boyfriend’s banjo sting. Still feel bad about it 22 years later! One way to make sure he never forgets me! |
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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"I got in trouble when I masturbated with a back scrub... developed an infection that quickly turned into sepsis ... in hospital for a week and out of it for 3 of those days ffs such a funny story but scary at time .... death by masturbation "
I cut myself shaving in a very delicate place and it got infected - not quite sepsis but a pretty big fright and took weeks to heal. Thank god antibiotics still works for some thing hey! Glad you are ok lovely xx |
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"I got in trouble when I masturbated with a back scrub... developed an infection that quickly turned into sepsis ... in hospital for a week and out of it for 3 of those days ffs such a funny story but scary at time .... death by masturbation
I cut myself shaving in a very delicate place and it got infected - not quite sepsis but a pretty big fright and took weeks to heal. Thank god antibiotics still works for some thing hey! Glad you are ok lovely xx"
. Ouch I use veet it's so much safer ... ha ha thank you I survived to tell the tale x |
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