FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > December mental health check in
December mental health check in
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By (user no longer on site) OP 50 weeks ago
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Post here if you feel you can and want to just express on how your feeling. Only if your comfortable
Every day, every week every month can be difficult, but as the weather turns to bitterly cold and we come to the end of the year in December it can be a difficult time.
Use this thread as a way of letting out, a way to support or simply to say 'I'm here
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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I'm ok, work has been quite a lot and the imposter syndrome has hit me like a truck, and sexually I think I'm a bit down on my confidence but that's mostly niggly things and me overthinking but in the grand scheme of things, I have nothing to complain about compared to some who have it far worse and for them, I really hope it gets better especially heading into the holiday season where everyone only ever expects you to be cheerful  |
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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"I'm ok, work has been quite a lot and the imposter syndrome has hit me like a truck, and sexually I think I'm a bit down on my confidence but that's mostly niggly things and me overthinking but in the grand scheme of things, I have nothing to complain about compared to some who have it far worse and for them, I really hope it gets better especially heading into the holiday season where everyone only ever expects you to be cheerful "
Sit in the bad times and find a way to get through  easier said than done I know.
Being an over thinker is so bloody annoying and people expecting you to just be happy doesn’t help. But remember no matter how insignificant your problems may seem, it’s all relative, and it’s still a problem for you |
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"Post here if you feel you can and want to just express on how your feeling. Only if your comfortable
Every day, every week every month can be difficult, but as the weather turns to bitterly cold and we come to the end of the year in December it can be a difficult time.
Use this thread as a way of letting out, a way to support or simply to say 'I'm here
"
Thanks for opening this, OP. I've just had a wonderful few days in the Cairngorms, recovering my mountain mojo after a long absence, but come back to an empty house. My dear wife - not a Fabber but happy for me to be - passed away a few months ago and her physical absence hits me every day. I do have some regular Fab friends who are very supportive and that's great but when people ask me if I'm getting back to normal, I know I won't ever be there. You're right, the time of year doesn't help. I'll get through it; there's always hope.
Thanks again, this is the first and last time I'll mention my personal circumstances. |
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as from another thread
hmmmm
yeah been a tough year, my wife and daughter had to move in with her parents due to financal issues. my brother died in his sleep from a blood clot in his brain no warning.
my wife told me she had met someone else and wanted a divorce, her new partner is a criminal out on probation for abh and has previous. Had the cheek to threaten me not realising what my job is!
my ex wife is threating to rufuse me access to my daughter unless I give her more money. So my life was turned upside down.
my dad is slowly wasting away and my mum is threating to kill herself.
I stayed in my bedroom for 3 days without eating or sleeping. drank and took enough drugs to put motley crue to shame.
evently slept and woke up still alive?????
things can only go up from here
oh and at some point in my state I ran out of booze so went to a dodgey 24h off license in a bad area of brixton at 3am
2 guys pulled a knife on me and told me to hand over the booze. I dropped it and told them if they wanted it they wouldhave to take it. I told them if youre gonna pull a knife then have the balls to use it.
they told me I was fuked up and ran off. I really didn't care at that point |
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By *istalloverCouple 50 weeks ago
Pays de la Loire -Normandie -Brittany borderFrance |
Ti's the season
Of depression for some .
SAD Syndrome is a b'stard this time of year when the daylight is at its least.and all of the years negatives have extra time to return.
If this affects you don't be scared to ask for help .there is help available.
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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Having assisted with the cremation service for a close friend yesterday and losing my dad in may, some would have thought I would gain a better appreciation about the preciousness of life.
Because I can get out most days (at a push) I supposedly can't be depressed. But would like to know how to describe a state where you don't care if you wake up the next morning.. Reset button hopefully in jan.
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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"Post here if you feel you can and want to just express on how your feeling. Only if your comfortable
Every day, every week every month can be difficult, but as the weather turns to bitterly cold and we come to the end of the year in December it can be a difficult time.
Use this thread as a way of letting out, a way to support or simply to say 'I'm here
"
November has been good, I saw friends I haven't seen for months. I've got to know someone better too.
The last few days not so good, I've been doing some thinking of the very recent past and I can't get over how niave, blind and how I seemed to have totally lack any streetwise.
On the upside this week is the first time I've had my actual monthlies since June, my body is finally finding it's balance. Boooooo to the cramps. Sorry for the tmi but I'm so pleased my body is back on track after August |
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This hasn’t been a good year for me at all and this Christmas it’s really gunna be a struggle, having cared for my mum when she was first diagnosed with cancer last December right up to her passing in September, I am getting help but with so much going on in my life, finding time to grieve properly for the loss is a real struggle at the moment 
Not sleeping much and work becoming increasing more stressful I am close to a complete breakdown. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 50 weeks ago
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For me everyday is just a challenge to get through. Im alone and lonely and have felt that there is no lower level, im on the bottom. Outside neighbourhood issues were the reason I barricaded myself in (literally a metal pole wedged against my front door) from may 2018 till Feb 2023. I went out once in june 2021 for the 1 and only covid jab ive had, which was in a sports centre, 100 people felt like a thousand, I felt absolute fear.
Now I have changed said reason^ and labelled it to excuses, I'm trying to overcome this myself. I ask for help which I once was ashamed to, but I get passed over or ignored. I feel selfish in only talking about myself.
This place, the forums, is my place to show me what I'm missing out on and to push myself to try. If I dont I'm letting myself down
So I try |
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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"For me everyday is just a challenge to get through. Im alone and lonely and have felt that there is no lower level, im on the bottom. Outside neighbourhood issues were the reason I barricaded myself in (literally a metal pole wedged against my front door) from may 2018 till Feb 2023. I went out once in june 2021 for the 1 and only covid jab ive had, which was in a sports centre, 100 people felt like a thousand, I felt absolute fear.
Now I have changed said reason^ and labelled it to excuses, I'm trying to overcome this myself. I ask for help which I once was ashamed to, but I get passed over or ignored. I feel selfish in only talking about myself.
This place, the forums, is my place to show me what I'm missing out on and to push myself to try. If I dont I'm letting myself down
So I try"
Hugs |
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I honesty don't know. I'm Good, I'm doing fine but just below the surface something doesn't feel right. Not as extreme as bipolar but my mood just seems to be up and down randomly.
Like I'll be oblivious to all, and happy. Then it just hits and motivation drops. |
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Feel like absolute shit and on a self destructive path. Now so deep into a situation that I didn’t need to get into. Think that the only way out is the final way out. Which is absolute nonsense of course. Had a good chat with a mate a couple of weeks ago who shone a light onto a path but that light is dimming significantly now. |
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"Feel like absolute shit and on a self destructive path. Now so deep into a situation that I didn’t need to get into. Think that the only way out is the final way out. Which is absolute nonsense of course. Had a good chat with a mate a couple of weeks ago who shone a light onto a path but that light is dimming significantly now. "
There is always a way out, no matter how bad and hard it may be to get there.
When the going is tricky I use the saying
Everything will be alright in the end, if its not alright, its not the end.
So you just have to keep going until you find the good again.
MrsAbz |
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"Feel like absolute shit and on a self destructive path. Now so deep into a situation that I didn’t need to get into. Think that the only way out is the final way out. Which is absolute nonsense of course. Had a good chat with a mate a couple of weeks ago who shone a light onto a path but that light is dimming significantly now.
There is always a way out, no matter how bad and hard it may be to get there.
When the going is tricky I use the saying
Everything will be alright in the end, if its not alright, its not the end.
So you just have to keep going until you find the good again.
MrsAbz "
There are two ways out. Neither will be easy, neither will be nice, and I know I need to make a decision and stick to it but I am being a coward and burying my head in the sand hoping someone else will make the decision for me. I hate myself for it and for who I have become and what I am doing. |
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"Feel like absolute shit and on a self destructive path. Now so deep into a situation that I didn’t need to get into. Think that the only way out is the final way out. Which is absolute nonsense of course. Had a good chat with a mate a couple of weeks ago who shone a light onto a path but that light is dimming significantly now.
There is always a way out, no matter how bad and hard it may be to get there.
When the going is tricky I use the saying
Everything will be alright in the end, if its not alright, its not the end.
So you just have to keep going until you find the good again.
MrsAbz
There are two ways out. Neither will be easy, neither will be nice, and I know I need to make a decision and stick to it but I am being a coward and burying my head in the sand hoping someone else will make the decision for me. I hate myself for it and for who I have become and what I am doing."
You are human. You make mistakes.
It doesnt make you an overall bad person nor does it make you hateable. It makes you someone who made the wrong choice and now has to manage the damage.
The solution or choice you have to make may be horrible and hard, I have no doubt of that but once you have chosen what to do and start working on that, the burden will lift a little.
You can do this. Tell yourself this time will pass and one day it will just be a shitty time in the past.
It feels awful but you can do it. You absolutely can
MrsAbz |
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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I wanted to die and felt like shit but I’ve been on sertraline for about to year, which had some unwanted sexual side effects which sucked but I felt better. I’ve come of them recently and I’m feeling better and made some positive changes in my life and feel I’m getting to where I wanna be in life |
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I have found that when you are at almost rock bottom you find out who your true friends are.
I reached out for help and only found a few that were there for me. The rest were just party friends. Guess you don't want someone bringing your vibe down and interfering with your social life |
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"Feel like absolute shit and on a self destructive path. Now so deep into a situation that I didn’t need to get into. Think that the only way out is the final way out. Which is absolute nonsense of course. Had a good chat with a mate a couple of weeks ago who shone a light onto a path but that light is dimming significantly now. "
yep just comming out of a destructive path. I don't know how I'm still here, if I was a cat I'd be in my overdraft |
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Good tbh darling OP. My body is saying stop though after being so manic. But I’m still smiling.
Sending love and kisses to all that’s struggling
You’re not alone and you’re not the only one to ever have a hard time. Always remember that  |
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By *oofy321Man 49 weeks ago
moon base zero |
I've always loved Christmas but this will be my 2nd Christmas on my own and I hate it and it gets me so depressed but move on or my mind will be in a place I dont want it to be
Wish I could write this anonymously
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"For me everyday is just a challenge to get through. Im alone and lonely and have felt that there is no lower level, im on the bottom. Outside neighbourhood issues were the reason I barricaded myself in (literally a metal pole wedged against my front door) from may 2018 till Feb 2023. I went out once in june 2021 for the 1 and only covid jab ive had, which was in a sports centre, 100 people felt like a thousand, I felt absolute fear.
Now I have changed said reason^ and labelled it to excuses, I'm trying to overcome this myself. I ask for help which I once was ashamed to, but I get passed over or ignored. I feel selfish in only talking about myself.
This place, the forums, is my place to show me what I'm missing out on and to push myself to try. If I dont I'm letting myself down
So I try"
Oh lovely lady, I understand you completely. I'm in exactly the same boat. The only time I leave the house is to get in a taxi to go to medical check ups and collect repeat prescriptions. I desperately want to get back to the old sociable me but I don't know how to remove the mental block. Sending and hugs. DM me anytime if you fancy a chat x |
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By *opinovMan 49 weeks ago
Point Nemo, Cumbria |
I'd say "Yeah, I'm here" but I think I'm mostly not. Coming on here can seem like a form of self-immolation sometimes, hoping there might be something of you that might not be invisible and so might connect with another, only to log out again with just a bit more of it burnt away. |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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I personally find this time of year incredible hard for different reasons, however, I was very fortunate enough to be able to commence therapy a few days ago after a short while on a waiting list,
another thing I'd like to add is that Mrs (myself) does suffer from BPD and so if ANYONE needs a chat or support I am here for you! |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"I've always loved Christmas but this will be my 2nd Christmas on my own and I hate it and it gets me so depressed but move on or my mind will be in a place I dont want it to be
Wish I could write this anonymously
"
I'm glad you couldn't write this anonymously. Thank you for sharing. It serves as a reminder that we are not alone in these situations or in the way we feel. This will be my 6th Xmas Day alone and no doubt I will spend some of the day on here, to chat (& perve lol) so be sure to say hello if you are on here too. Sending and hugs x |
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Well it was looking like I was spending Xmas alone. But this week I have built bridges with my ex wife. I don't like that our marriage is now over and she has found a new boyfriend but have accepted it.
She has agreed to spend Christmas with me and our daughter at mine and I'll cook. I'll never meet anyone that "gets me" like she did but I have no feelings for her anymore and like it our not she is going to be in my life due to our daughter so we have to get along.
As for this guy she's with, we'll he's been in prison 3 times and is out on probation. He is due in court again this week as he has already been in a fight! So I'm guessing he won't be around much longer.
I haven't been to work this week and only left the house when I've had to pick up more booze and drugs. I'm going to counselling this week and will try to go to a CA meeting.
I came off sentraline about 6 weeks ago as I'd been on it for too long. Then my brother died suddenly and now this.
I'm determined to stay off them and if I can get through December I'll try and start going to the gym again and try and get my fire back |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 49 weeks ago
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"Well it was looking like I was spending Xmas alone. But this week I have built bridges with my ex wife. I don't like that our marriage is now over and she has found a new boyfriend but have accepted it.
She has agreed to spend Christmas with me and our daughter at mine and I'll cook. I'll never meet anyone that "gets me" like she did but I have no feelings for her anymore and like it our not she is going to be in my life due to our daughter so we have to get along.
As for this guy she's with, we'll he's been in prison 3 times and is out on probation. He is due in court again this week as he has already been in a fight! So I'm guessing he won't be around much longer.
I haven't been to work this week and only left the house when I've had to pick up more booze and drugs. I'm going to counselling this week and will try to go to a CA meeting.
I came off sentraline about 6 weeks ago as I'd been on it for too long. Then my brother died suddenly and now this.
I'm determined to stay off them and if I can get through December I'll try and start going to the gym again and try and get my fire back"
You will see your daughter at Xmas.... those are the thoughts I'd think of when you go to do something that is the bad option xx |
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I’m doing ok’ish, no time really off work since July and now at burn out point.
On top of that, dealing with “friends” who are constantly mocking at me for not investing in crypto is also starting to take a toll. |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"
oh and at some point in my state I ran out of booze so went to a dodgey 24h off license in a bad area of brixton at 3am
2 guys pulled a knife on me and told me to hand over the booze. I dropped it and told them if they wanted it they wouldhave to take it. I told them if youre gonna pull a knife then have the balls to use it.
they told me I was fuked up and ran off. I really didn't care at that point"
Never been in that situation but often thought the same if I was
Hugs |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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Been trying hard but starting to sink.
I hate December.
Todays the anniversary of my first dogs death too. Wouldn’t know that but my mother reminds me every fucking year.
Gonna stop now, suddenly I’ve lost the urge to share |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"as from another thread
hmmmm
yeah been a tough year, my wife and daughter had to move in with her parents due to financal issues. my brother died in his sleep from a blood clot in his brain no warning.
my wife told me she had met someone else and wanted a divorce, her new partner is a criminal out on probation for abh and has previous. Had the cheek to threaten me not realising what my job is!
my ex wife is threating to rufuse me access to my daughter unless I give her more money. So my life was turned upside down.
my dad is slowly wasting away and my mum is threating to kill herself.
I stayed in my bedroom for 3 days without eating or sleeping. drank and took enough drugs to put motley crue to shame.
evently slept and woke up still alive?????
things can only go up from here
oh and at some point in my state I ran out of booze so went to a dodgey 24h off license in a bad area of brixton at 3am
2 guys pulled a knife on me and told me to hand over the booze. I dropped it and told them if they wanted it they wouldhave to take it. I told them if youre gonna pull a knife then have the balls to use it.
they told me I was fuked up and ran off. I really didn't care at that point"
bloody hell sounds like you've had a crazy year but you are still here there is probably a reason for that, need to hold your head high and if you got through that you can get through anything it's a new year next month aim for the stars you are a strong individual you deserve to be happy!! |
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I hate December. Tend to hibernate. Lots of bad things have happened in my past (loss of a parent, separation from a partner) have happened in this month.
I’ve survived 100% of my worst days. I don’t know how. I’m hoping something good will happen in just one December to help to buck the trend. |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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I blame myself for most things. But I get through. I’m getting mentally stronger, because I’m learning each day how I don’t need anyone which also scares me, and makes me sadder. So there’s that. |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"B.U.M.P
Hope you are OK
Having a day but you breathe through it right xx
Hope your OK x"
Getting by
Heading home for few days which which should be looking forward to but dreading it |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"Been trying hard but starting to sink.
I hate December.
Todays the anniversary of my first dogs death too. Wouldn’t know that but my mother reminds me every fucking year.
Gonna stop now, suddenly I’ve lost the urge to share"
Got through that, still here.
December always gets me going.
That bit with the Dog is so unnecessary, thanks Mum.
At least she didn't do it this year, my Parents don't bother with me any more thankfully. Still never gonna forget December 4th now though.
Just Christmas, Finances, hospital and 40th Birthday to go.
I feel so overwhelmed.
Cognitively I'm fucked. I got some paperwork I need to do to access some money and it's a decent amount. It's a month or more down the line and I just cannot do it. However I'm struggling to pay bills and have no food or anything in the house. I know I'm getting worse too because I'm staying up all night and sleeping about 08.00 to 14.00. I'm traditionally up around 5-6 am.
At the moment I'm just thinking lock myself in til January and try to avoid it all.
I think what really got me wound up was a relationship ending. With it my NYE/Birthday plans (Same day) went out the window and I'm struggling a lot with the thought of being alone at that point. Because it's depressed me I'm making zero effort to do anything else so I'm the problemm!!! |
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This year has been one of the toughest of my life and im ending this year recovering from a hip replacement last week. But I’m so bloody grateful to be fixed and surrounded by amazing people. This time I’ve realised my strength.
Hope everyone is ok |
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What do we do when we fall!
We pick ourselves back up again.
What crap! Life isn't a Rocky movie, we try to get up but we stumble, then we crawl and keep trying but sometimes have to lie there to muster the strengh to try
Hopefully we'll get there |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"What do we do when we fall!
We pick ourselves back up again.
What crap! Life isn't a Rocky movie, we try to get up but we stumble, then we crawl and keep trying but sometimes have to lie there to muster the strengh to try
Hopefully we'll get there"
Hopefully we will and for me personally hopefully I will find a reason to want to get there, rather than just the grief caused to others if I don't |
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By *C79Man 49 weeks ago
Caterham |
This week has kicked me in the face repeatedly. A whole string of issues has left me angry and frustrated. I literally stood in my house alone & yelled at the top of my voice to stop me breaking. Now, I'm sitting in bed with a couple of beers hoping that the stress palpitations in my chest stop soon.
Next week needs to be better |
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I had a pretty intense knock to mine at the weekend. I've had some time to gestate, and some time with my therapist today instead of just offloading on my emotional support junkie.
Finally made it to the sobbing stage today.
I'm probably not going to be okay for a little while yet. But I will be okay |
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By *oofy321Man 49 weeks ago
moon base zero |
I trick myself into thinking im ok..but im not,this last 12 months have been the worst in my 51 years
Physically, mentally and financially...so close to Christmas and not sure I'll make it..yes im speaking to shout at the moment but no light at the end of the tunnel...black thoughts are strong at the moment..but it will pass hopefully unscathed x |
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"I trick myself into thinking im ok..but im not,this last 12 months have been the worst in my 51 years
Physically, mentally and financially...so close to Christmas and not sure I'll make it..yes im speaking to shout at the moment but no light at the end of the tunnel...black thoughts are strong at the moment..but it will pass hopefully unscathed x"
Is there anything in particular causing the black thoughts, or is it just a general feeling of being overwhelmed? |
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my mental health can be a bit of a minefield, i have ptsd. December is not a great month either, anniversary of a best mates death. i plod along and keep myself busy to keep the negative thoughts at bay. If anyone is really struggling, reach out to someone, having a chat will help. God gives his toughest battles to his bravest warriors, keep fighting. |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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Having a bit of a moan did me some good.
Last couple of days I’ve improved the sleep pattern, the finances and my happiness has increased.
Today’s a bit of college stuff I’ve been avoiding because it’s really outside of my interests.
Just aiming for one thing a day and I know by Spring I’ll be home, healthy and happy.
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By *C79Man 49 weeks ago
Caterham |
"I trick myself into thinking im ok..but im not,this last 12 months have been the worst in my 51 years
Physically, mentally and financially...so close to Christmas and not sure I'll make it..yes im speaking to shout at the moment but no light at the end of the tunnel...black thoughts are strong at the moment..but it will pass hopefully unscathed x"
I hope you find the strength you need. Those dark thoughts are so all consuming it is hard to see past them. Not knowing you, I don't know what works, but for me, I try to focus on at least one positive thing, no matter how small and use that to get through whatever seems to be going wrong. Wishing you a speedy recovery |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"I'm in a really good place.
Happy to help you radiate again, but don't expect any talk of sexy times or meeting up to be entertained x"
It's s good you are well. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 49 weeks ago
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Bump
Spelt it right this time 
I'm having a day, well, a week actually but today has got to me. Lack of sleep makes it worse but today I feel not just unstable on my feet but unstable in the mind too. I have an appointment for my boiler, the employee has been multiple times for yearly inspection but right now I want to cancel, can't open the door, can't even look at it. Saying to myself it's a safety appointment for the boiler for my safety
But worked myself up by talking to myself
When I worked myself up and become over anxious my body stiffens. That's what I'm feeling right now
Today can shove along |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"I've had a few beers and everything is so fucking cool.. xx
Everything is either cool cool or the opposite after beers"
Or cool cool cool.
*one for the nerds.  |
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2016 Christmas was the worst time of my life.
Subsequent ones I always had that bad time seem to emerge at this time of year.
Last three years have been the best and I am looking forward to Xmas this year.
Keep going those that are struggling. If you are burnt out and live near me I will gladly meet up and stand you a drink and some terrible jokes. |
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Christmas period gets harder as more and more of the people who I used to love sharing it with are no longer here to share it with. Second one without Mum, and she was the heart and soul of Christmas for our family.
But on a more positive note I have been out on 3 work do’s this week. That’s more socialising and larger group situations than I have managed since lockdown. I am feeling drained after it all but when I was there I didn’t feel that I had to get away, feels a big step forward. |
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By *mightyMan 49 weeks ago
Scarborough |
"I'm great after sertraline I think the tablets are called..
Managing mucj better "
I was on setraline then metrazipine then proponolol then back on setraline now I’m on trozodone I’m fed up of been pharma Guinea pig for m/h issues |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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World Health Organisation designated loneliness 'a global public health concern 'as damaging as a 15- a day cigarette habit . That's why when am out in shops anywhere , say hello or hi ,when getting off us say thank you driver .
It works love to all and always remember your SPECIAL |
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As above, good post OP and well thought. This time of year can twist folks brains quite a bit. Personally, I’ve come to West Yorkshire to get some down time. My mum’s dementia is rapidly declining, anyone with experience of this knows where I’m at. I’ve a brother that treats her terribly and a sister that cares for her but downloads on me because of our heartless arse of a sibling. So I feel in a corner surrounded by wet paint 
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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Thankyou for asking opp. Its a good post.
My mental health in december normally takes a bashing. I hate the winter. I find christmas starts to early and is a financial boom for us all. But this year opp i feel ok. Its because ive got myself deeply involved in a major overhall of my living room thats a big job to do. So ive got something to involve my brain and keep me ocupied. Roll on summer. |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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It's amazing how quickly things csn change - a close relative's urgent surgery has been postponed due to further complications... I'm started having severe dizzy spells [i fell backwards onto my ass yesterday] ... And my roof is damaged in the storm....
I'm practising mindful breathing  |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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Thanks for asking, I’m actually doing ok. Over the last few weeks it been tough, but I work up one morning and decided it was going to be a good day.
I now try my very hardest to have positive interactions, control how I respond to things happening around me and I’m feeling really happy.
Even not that bothered about my single status, what will be will be. I can’t be a monk for every… right? |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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I used to love this time of year, crisp mornings and dark nights. I hate it now and with watching the person I most love in the world dying in front of me. It's so horrible. |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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" needed to correct my auto corrects!! Thanks for asking, I’m actually doing ok. Over the last few weeks it’s been tough, but I woke up one morning and decided it was going to be a good day.
I now try my very hardest to have positive interactions, control how I respond to things happening around me and I’m feeling really happy.
Even not that bothered about my single status, what will be will be. I can’t be a monk for every… right? "
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Today is not good my nephew took his own life 3 months ago and his work say they done nothing wrong but have put changes into working practices, surely they wouldn’t do that if they hadn’t actually fucked up xx
Feeling sad for his mum as she works in the same industry as him |
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"I used to love this time of year, crisp mornings and dark nights. I hate it now and with watching the person I most love in the world dying in front of me. It's so horrible."
Sending you hugs was there in 2020 x |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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I tell myself and the people who I value who struggle
You get up, you go to work, you try to keep going, having a bad day isn't having a bad life,
More importantly you are far stronger than people who walk through life who have never felt like you do, you are incredibly strong you just can't see it
You are brave and resilient
I know you can make it
Sending you all love and my thoughts x
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Always find December a challenging month as work tends to dry up. People also don't understand that I don't like Christmas, but one year was so bad I contemplated taking my own life. I'm not in that dark place anymore but it is always a reminder. |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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I hate December for various reasons. This year my partner has decided he no longer wants to be in a relationship with me. He was my support network. I have no family and no friends for various reasons. I am lonely and alone, the same as others have said here. I've had enough tbh. |
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I’ve been checking in with one of my kids twice a week since November. I think I’ve got about 8 replies / voice notes which is way more than normal 
I do it with zero pressure and no expectations of a reply, just reminding her how proud I am of her and how special she is.
Sometimes she’ll randomly voice note me at 4am with 2 weeks of life details ! I’ve learnt I don’t need to ask her any questions about how she is, it doesn’t help, she will tell me in her own way and her own time. |
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"I hate December for various reasons. This year my partner has decided he no longer wants to be in a relationship with me. He was my support network. I have no family and no friends for various reasons. I am lonely and alone, the same as others have said here. I've had enough tbh. "
Sending big hugs x |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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" to anyone who needs it ..."
Back at you too.
I’ve had a very challenging year with my mental health.
Inbox is always open for anyone who could do with a chat |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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"I hate December for various reasons. This year my partner has decided he no longer wants to be in a relationship with me. He was my support network. I have no family and no friends for various reasons. I am lonely and alone, the same as others have said here. I've had enough tbh. "
Hiya - bit of a shit time for you. I've had the same kind not shit.
Got a phone call from hospital today my gf i lived with on Christmas day 1987 to say she'd gone.
Fucked every Christmas up from then on. I don't celebrate any more.
Pl
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 48 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
"I hate December for various reasons. This year my partner has decided he no longer wants to be in a relationship with me. He was my support network. I have no family and no friends for various reasons. I am lonely and alone, the same as others have said here. I've had enough tbh. "
I'm so sorry. |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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"I'm absolutely crashing today mentally - not sure of the trigger. Maybe it's the dullness but it sure ain't pleasant"
I had a day like this yesterday. I’ve had a period of pressure and deadlines and that motivated me. Yesterday was the first day post deadline and I sank right down. |
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"I'm absolutely crashing today mentally - not sure of the trigger. Maybe it's the dullness but it sure ain't pleasant
I had a day like this yesterday. I’ve had a period of pressure and deadlines and that motivated me. Yesterday was the first day post deadline and I sank right down."
Yeah - I always used to get ill when the pressure was let off. My big problem is the lack of work - no-one wants their computers repaired at this time of the year. So I'm having to find other ways to occupy my time without spending any money |
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"I'm absolutely crashing today mentally - not sure of the trigger. Maybe it's the dullness but it sure ain't pleasant
I had a day like this yesterday. I’ve had a period of pressure and deadlines and that motivated me. Yesterday was the first day post deadline and I sank right down."
Hugs xx |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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December is always tough for me, lost my Dad February 2021 to lung cancer and he loved Christmas, not the gifts or the tree, but the family time, the food and the drinks!
My mom doesn’t drink and my sister is knocked out after 3, so my dad was my drinking partner and we were like two very annoying peas in a pod after a few, I miss that a lot! A very close family member has just died a few days ago aswell, he watched all of us grow up and was my sisters godfather, so it’s extra tough.
Sending huge virtual hugs to anyone else struggling.  |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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"I hate December for various reasons. This year my partner has decided he no longer wants to be in a relationship with me. He was my support network. I have no family and no friends for various reasons. I am lonely and alone, the same as others have said here. I've had enough tbh. "
Very similar, it's horrible. |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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"Very similar, it's horrible.
I'm sorry you're having a shit time too.
I'm really grateful for virtual hugs. Makes me feel a wee bit less on my own. "
Have one from me x. |
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"Post here if you feel you can and want to just express on how your feeling. Only if your comfortable
Every day, every week every month can be difficult, but as the weather turns to bitterly cold and we come to the end of the year in December it can be a difficult time.
Use this thread as a way of letting out, a way to support or simply to say 'I'm here
"
i have been on my own for 12 years now,,,found out a nymber of years ago i suffer for S.A.D. which if not careful can spiral down into deep depression so from mid nov to end of feb things can easily kick off and go down hill fast,, xmas day, new years eve,, are horrible days for anyone on their own,, no cards no pressies,, so its just another day,,, once feb 14 is gone life seems more rosy  |
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3 months to the day I Parked on some train tracks ready to ended it all. I didn't think about the devastation I would leave behind.
Someone who I don't like or didn't like found me and moved my car.
Since that day I have talked about it and the reasons.
It's hard to talk and I am still searching for answers.
All I will say if anyone needs a friendly ear. I will listen without judgement |
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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"3 months to the day I Parked on some train tracks ready to ended it all. I didn't think about the devastation I would leave behind.
Someone who I don't like or didn't like found me and moved my car.
Since that day I have talked about it and the reasons.
It's hard to talk and I am still searching for answers.
All I will say if anyone needs a friendly ear. I will listen without judgement"
Hope things are getting better.
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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"I used to love this time of year, crisp mornings and dark nights. I hate it now and with watching the person I most love in the world dying in front of me. It's so horrible.
Sending you hugs was there in 2020 x "
Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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So many of us struggling just now. This breakup is affecting me so much. My heart is racing, feel like I can't breathe, knot in the pit of my stomach. I've spoken with GP and have a support worker who wants to skim over the difficult stuff.
Hugs to anyone struggling at the moment xx |
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By *mf123Man 47 weeks ago
with one foot out the door |
Best iv been in since covid not the man i was at my lowest point im finally feeling strong making reality work so i focus less on things i cant control and more on things i can
I still have hopes n dreams but im in as much control of them as i am the weather
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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"Best iv been in since covid not the man i was at my lowest point im finally feeling strong making reality work so i focus less on things i cant control and more on things i can
I still have hopes n dreams but im in as much control of them as i am the weather
"
That's very positive. Good to see things have improved for you |
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By *mf123Man 47 weeks ago
with one foot out the door |
"Best iv been in since covid not the man i was at my lowest point im finally feeling strong making reality work so i focus less on things i cant control and more on things i can
I still have hopes n dreams but im in as much control of them as i am the weather
That's very positive. Good to see things have improved for you "
cheers it aint an easy road good luck |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 47 weeks ago
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For all those that are feeling it as its getting down to hours before Xmas day
You ain't alone, in your thoughts, there are plenty of us that feel things over the Xmas period, so please if you feel you can and want to...
Just write a little something, anything
We are all here
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This year has been tougher than usual, early December is the anniversary of my older brother passing. For some reason this has hit me hard this year. Probably because I have not managed to get out on my bike for exercise which helps me stay in a better mental state. Hopefully if this cold/flu buggers off I may get out tomorrow and start getting back to a more even keel.
Hugs to all those others struggling. |
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"It's a weird one with Xmas eve being a Sunday. To me it's like just another day
I'll be bumping tomorrow too for anyone that wants to say hello"
***
Hello from the distance 
***Wawing with all limbs*** |
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By *edeWoman 46 weeks ago
the abyss |
This is the first Christmas that I will be spending alone. Although I'm more than happy in my own company it does feel a little bit odd - even though it was a choice I made. I've been really productive today so plan on doing nothing but eat and drink all tomorrow and and Tuesday and allow myself to feel my emotions without being hard on myself |
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Awwww so sad to hear people struggling with their mental health but it's true (thankfully not for me) but although Christmas is meant to be joyous and festive for some people it's anything but if your Lonely or feel isolated feel free to connect with me sex is good bit so is caring for other people I'd hate to think someone's in discomfort when they could connect with me and feel human and belonging because we all deserve to feel loved and content but not all people have the ability to love themselves like I do Merry Christmas everyone ?? |
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My ex wife came down for a week with our daughter for Christmas.
We always said we would still be friends as it wasn't our daughters fault we split up.
My ex wife cooked a lovely dinner and yes it was a good day. However as much as I will miss my daughter I will be looking forward to my ex going home tomorrow.
She dumped the loser guy she was seeing and has dropped hints that she wants us to try again
I have made it clear that I will never have her back. She's not taking it too well but I really couldn't care. |
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My ex is in hospital at the moment with a fractured hand and Pneomonia.
Xmas eve was horrendous. As looking back, think she was needing water. And trying to get her to drink. Was next to impossible.
After me falling apart at the hospital. The nurses have been wonderful.
The difference yesterday. She was talking, eating and paws crossed will be out soon. Probably a week or two. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 46 weeks ago
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Last days of the year and ive been feeling it, haven't opened the door, haven't spoken aloud to anyone, not even to the cat. Keep thinking its OK to try to think positive, sometimes it works but it hasn't. Feeling very low. I'm trying not to but I am |
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By *mf123Man 46 weeks ago
with one foot out the door |
I was fine for a long while controlling what i can and doing really well until i drempt of a catch up with a friend i loved simply having a catch up chat and laugh in a pub as much as the dream was perfect it reminded me il never see or hear from her again even tho shes likely happy and thriving i just feel sad again
I hate when my own mind tries to fuck me over thats what made things like this to begin with |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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"Im probly just tired but who knows "
Being tired doesn't help with straight thinking. Thinking stops you sleeping and for me it's a never ending circle. I was doing okish today until I received a message. Really fed up of merely existing. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 45 weeks ago
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Last day of December
Thank you for posting, there's been some very open honest thoughts and feelings shared. It hasn't gone unnoticed, you haven't gone unnoticed. It takes courage sharing personal stories and feelings and can make you feel shit when in that kind of head space, and as alone as it may feel, you are not alone.
My hope for the future is to continue finding ways to express how I'm feeling
My hope for everyone is that they find a way too
X |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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"Last day of December
Thank you for posting, there's been some very open honest thoughts and feelings shared. It hasn't gone unnoticed, you haven't gone unnoticed. It takes courage sharing personal stories and feelings and can make you feel shit when in that kind of head space, and as alone as it may feel, you are not alone.
My hope for the future is to continue finding ways to express how I'm feeling
My hope for everyone is that they find a way too
X"
I have really appreciated this space to write, thank you.
Tonight is a real struggle and feeling so alone. Just as I think I'm getting my shit together, bam something else knocks me off my stott.
Take care everyone. If anyone fancies a chat I'm about. |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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Been a tough year for me, I was on morphine for 3 and half years after breaking my neck and for my shoulder joint. Made a decision to come off it, didn't like the way it made me feel, was really tough but got there. Then in October I went into respiratory arrest as complications of coming off the morphine, I'm still struggling to come to terms with that but hoping for a better and brighter year ahead. |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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"Been a tough year for me, I was on morphine for 3 and half years after breaking my neck and for my shoulder joint. Made a decision to come off it, didn't like the way it made me feel, was really tough but got there. Then in October I went into respiratory arrest as complications of coming off the morphine, I'm still struggling to come to terms with that but hoping for a better and brighter year ahead. "
Wow you are amazing. Wishing you a very positive and happy new year. |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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"Been a tough year for me, I was on morphine for 3 and half years after breaking my neck and for my shoulder joint. Made a decision to come off it, didn't like the way it made me feel, was really tough but got there. Then in October I went into respiratory arrest as complications of coming off the morphine, I'm still struggling to come to terms with that but hoping for a better and brighter year ahead.
Wow you are amazing. Wishing you a very positive and happy new year."
Thank you. |
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