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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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"Do you ever think about power in your interactions and relationships. Like who has it and how that impacts what does/ doesn’t happen?"
Yes definitely... I wish I more with my family /at work. |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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Power for me in relationships and life is shared
Equal responsibility to look out for, look after and care for each other.
If one person holds all the power then this power can be abused.
Just my thoughts |
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When I am at work I am aware I can exercise power because I am high up in the hierarchy. How I use that depends on what I am trying to achieve and why.
On Fab - I don’t think about it at all. I don’t get turned on by power trips. If someone is into that stuff then we are unlikely to be friends. |
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"Power for me in relationships and life is shared
Equal responsibility to look out for, look after and care for each other.
If one person holds all the power then this power can be abused.
Just my thoughts "
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By (user no longer on site) OP 51 weeks ago
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"Power for me in relationships and life is shared
Equal responsibility to look out for, look after and care for each other.
If one person holds all the power then this power can be abused.
Just my thoughts "
I sometimes recognise that it isn’t equal though. And wonder if that’s impacting what someone is or isn’t saying. How they are or aren’t acting.
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By (user no longer on site) OP 51 weeks ago
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"Do you ever think about power in your interactions and relationships. Like who has it and how that impacts what does/ doesn’t happen?
Yes definitely... I wish I more with my family /at work. "
I wish I had more too. But also others had more. Just wish things were more balanced |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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"Power for me in relationships and life is shared
Equal responsibility to look out for, look after and care for each other.
If one person holds all the power then this power can be abused.
Just my thoughts
I sometimes recognise that it isn’t equal though. And wonder if that’s impacting what someone is or isn’t saying. How they are or aren’t acting.
"
There are times where it may not be equal, that’s it’s all weighed one way, sometimes I need someone to make the decision, other times I will.
Overall though it needs to be shared for me though. They need me as much as I need them be that work or in relationships |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 51 weeks ago
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"Power for me in relationships and life is shared
Equal responsibility to look out for, look after and care for each other.
If one person holds all the power then this power can be abused.
Just my thoughts
I sometimes recognise that it isn’t equal though. And wonder if that’s impacting what someone is or isn’t saying. How they are or aren’t acting.
There are times where it may not be equal, that’s it’s all weighed one way, sometimes I need someone to make the decision, other times I will.
Overall though it needs to be shared for me though. They need me as much as I need them be that work or in relationships "
Oh at work I feel so replaceable/ disposable. |
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"Power for me in relationships and life is shared
Equal responsibility to look out for, look after and care for each other.
If one person holds all the power then this power can be abused.
Just my thoughts
I sometimes recognise that it isn’t equal though. And wonder if that’s impacting what someone is or isn’t saying. How they are or aren’t acting.
"
I think it’s rare for it to be equal., someone always wants or needs the other a little bit more or less than they are wanted or needed. How that manifests is largely down to the type of people.
When it is clearly equal , it’s best, interesting, sometimes jostling but I think that’s healthy |
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By *a LunaWoman 51 weeks ago
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I don’t really think about. I do however seem to gravitate to strong confident men who can rein me in (in a nice way!!) as I can be somewhat strong willed so need someone who keeps me in check. In a loving way!
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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This was a theme in my counselling session yesterday.
But more about taking ones power back when it's been taken in an abusive context and then in non abusive.
One can hold power due to their personality type and if they are assertive by nature. An imbalance is really easy to achieve. To balance the power between two people is a lot harder than people realise. Because some don't realise they've even got or taken the power in the first place or vice versa. It needs a lot of talking and deep conversations. |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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Fairly often because of my career and I love it
There’s a reason I have the power in those interactions, I’ve earned it. Too many people think they hold power in areas they don’t.
And a lot of people don’t realise how much they hold in areas where they think they hold none |
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By *eliWoman 51 weeks ago
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"This was a theme in my counselling session yesterday.
But more about taking ones power back when it's been taken in an abusive context and then in non abusive.
"
Ah this sounds really interesting!
Generally no OP, it's not something I think about - only in this context recently. I'm far better now at recognising, calling out and making sure there isn't an imbalance through emotional abuse by stepping away from it. Leaving the person to it, as much as possible.
For the most part, my adult years haven't involved me thinking about that sort of thing (I'm talking about away from work). |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 51 weeks ago
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"This was a theme in my counselling session yesterday.
But more about taking ones power back when it's been taken in an abusive context and then in non abusive.
Ah this sounds really interesting!
Generally no OP, it's not something I think about - only in this context recently. I'm far better now at recognising, calling out and making sure there isn't an imbalance through emotional abuse by stepping away from it. Leaving the person to it, as much as possible.
For the most part, my adult years haven't involved me thinking about that sort of thing (I'm talking about away from work)."
But you do think about it at work? |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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I think there is a definite difference between power and abuse of any sort be it in your personal or work life.
That’s why many call it a dynamic.
For me it’s clear and as was once said
“Respect is earned and not something you wear on your shoulders” which is a military saying regarding an officers rank being on their shoulder.
For anyone who says to me you’ll do something because I told you or because I’m in charge….no. Great leaders lead and others follow, they lead by example not because they see themselves in a position of supposed power.
Ultimately everyone has a boss |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 51 weeks ago
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"I think there is a definite difference between power and abuse of any sort be it in your personal or work life.
That’s why many call it a dynamic.
For me it’s clear and as was once said
“Respect is earned and not something you wear on your shoulders” which is a military saying regarding an officers rank being on their shoulder.
For anyone who says to me you’ll do something because I told you or because I’m in charge….no. Great leaders lead and others follow, they lead by example not because they see themselves in a position of supposed power.
Ultimately everyone has a boss "
I’m mostly referring to a specific type of power. Like status is a good example of the type I’m talking about. So I’m not going to say anything about someone being problematic because their social status in the group might lead to me being attacked/ bullied (this is JUST an example for those that love a reason). Or the status of your manager which means I feel more cautious about the way I’m calling out/ correcting a minor mistake that I usually would.
If that makes sense. - regardless of the dynamic there’s an a way that the power impacts how I handle situations. Idk if I’m waffling but yeah. |
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There was definitely a power imbalance in my marriage i had a lot more. It did cause issues such as its hard to respect the person with little power and i would second guess myself as to whether i was being manipulative. |
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I often think about the power the authorities have and how they exercise it. Just lately this frightens me.
In my personal relationships now that our children are adults the power balances between my partner, our children and me is balanced and tips very slightly one way and another from time to time.
With my late mother and now my father the power is all in my hands because without me and Mr N he wouldn't manage. We don't use it to his detriment of course. |
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Sometimes. I dislike blatant and longterm imbalances of power and don't tend to tolerate them outside of the workplace.
All things are in flux and the person with the most control does and should shift according to circumstances  |
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