FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Whadda ya think
Whadda ya think
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I was chatting to a lady from a dating site... Short time after we started messaging, we'd met once for a coffee I get a text saying "I've met someone else was lovely meeting you thought you should know " I replied with summat like "happy for you, thanks for letting me know,"
This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"
What would you do ? |
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She’s using you a place filler she didn’t deem you good enough for her before she won’t this time round. It depends what you want if you see it as just casual then respond and see where it goes but if you’re looking for a relationship stay well away |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Slow clap for her being honest and transparent with you, but really? Sounds like she is both very impulsive and emotionally immature.
If that’s your bag, message her back.
If you want a drama free life, walk away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was chatting to a lady from a dating site... Short time after we started messaging, we'd met once for a coffee I get a text saying "I've met someone else was lovely meeting you thought you should know " I replied with summat like "happy for you, thanks for letting me know,"
This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"
What would you do ?"
Meet her again then decide.
She was honest. If she hadn't said anything you'd still be chatting, oblivious.
You could be soul mates. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Least she's been up front and honest.
But it'd make me feel like second choice too.
I guess you could say for her you don't ask you don't get? Worth a throw |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Did you read the first text as no thanks, bye OR just a little update to keep you in a loop and confirming she enjoyed meeting you too? If the former, I'd pass. Missing the context of course and your intuition should tell you what to do what's best for you. 
T |
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"I was chatting to a lady from a dating site... Short time after we started messaging, we'd met once for a coffee I get a text saying "I've met someone else was lovely meeting you thought you should know " I replied with summat like "happy for you, thanks for letting me know,"
This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"
What would you do ?
Meet her again then decide.
She was honest. If she hadn't said anything you'd still be chatting, oblivious.
You could be soul mates. "
I agree with this.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was chatting to a lady from a dating site... Short time after we started messaging, we'd met once for a coffee I get a text saying "I've met someone else was lovely meeting you thought you should know " I replied with summat like "happy for you, thanks for letting me know,"
This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"
What would you do ?
Meet her again then decide.
She was honest. If she hadn't said anything you'd still be chatting, oblivious.
You could be soul mates.
I agree with this.
Mrs "
Plus she didn't string him along or waste his time! |
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"I was chatting to a lady from a dating site... Short time after we started messaging, we'd met once for a coffee I get a text saying "I've met someone else was lovely meeting you thought you should know " I replied with summat like "happy for you, thanks for letting me know,"
This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"
What would you do ?"
Don't be anyone's second choice or back up plan. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op. That’s the dating game right there.
What would I do?
Probably go out if I liked her, and possibly thank the heavens for that last guy not working out of you do make a go of it!
But having said that, I hate to feel like an option, and especially like I was the second choice, so there’s that.
Modern dating would suck if I tried that game. That’s why I don’t play games, I let a woman know exact where I am.  |
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"I was chatting to a lady from a dating site... Short time after we started messaging, we'd met once for a coffee I get a text saying "I've met someone else was lovely meeting you thought you should know " I replied with summat like "happy for you, thanks for letting me know,"
This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"
What would you do ?"
If you like her go for it, what’s the worst that can happen |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was chatting to a lady from a dating site... Short time after we started messaging, we'd met once for a coffee I get a text saying "I've met someone else was lovely meeting you thought you should know " I replied with summat like "happy for you, thanks for letting me know,"
This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"
What would you do ?"
Are you here for sex?
Then meet her and go for it |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
"Slow clap for her being honest and transparent with you, but really? Sounds like she is both very impulsive and emotionally immature.
If that’s your bag, message her back.
If you want a drama free life, walk away. "
This  |
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By *r_PinkMan
over a year ago
london stratford |
"I was chatting to a lady from a dating site... Short time after we started messaging, we'd met once for a coffee I get a text saying "I've met someone else was lovely meeting you thought you should know " I replied with summat like "happy for you, thanks for letting me know,"
This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"
What would you do ?"
If you think she is worth it, go for it!
BUT..... if she does it again to you. then drop it |
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I think it's odd how many see it as being someone's plan b or option. At the time she thought she'd met someone she could be taking things further with so she let him know. No point stringing the op along. I'd probably go as she was honest about that and you never know. Good luck op whatever you choose. |
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"I was chatting to a lady from a dating site... Short time after we started messaging, we'd met once for a coffee I get a text saying "I've met someone else was lovely meeting you thought you should know " I replied with summat like "happy for you, thanks for letting me know,"
This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"
What would you do ?"
I think I'd probably chat and see what happens, but I think I'd be more cautious than before because I'd have a nagging doubt at the back of my mind that they'll keep stringing me along as their ‘plan B’ and, when it comes to relationships, I don't want to be someone's backup option or ‘safe bet’.
But if it's something you're happy to pursue, good for you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's odd how many see it as being someone's plan b or option. At the time she thought she'd met someone she could be taking things further with so she let him know. No point stringing the op along. I'd probably go as she was honest about that and you never know. Good luck op whatever you choose. "
I agree with you.. interesting the split m vs f as well
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"I was chatting to a lady from a dating site... Short time after we started messaging, we'd met once for a coffee I get a text saying "I've met someone else was lovely meeting you thought you should know " I replied with summat like "happy for you, thanks for letting me know,"
This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"
What would you do ?
If you like her go for it, what’s the worst that can happen "
get dumped again nah I’d move along |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fuck her, give the fuck of a lifetime and really show her a good time.
And then leave saying.... and that's what you'll be missing out on.
Disclaimer....I'm joking, and not being mean to women. Or men.
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By *heelerMan
over a year ago
Northants |
"I was chatting to a lady from a dating site... Short time after we started messaging, we'd met once for a coffee I get a text saying "I've met someone else was lovely meeting you thought you should know " I replied with summat like "happy for you, thanks for letting me know,"
This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"
What would you do ?"
You don't grt many opportunities on here so take up on the chance 2nd.time lucky. |
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"Slow clap for her being honest and transparent with you, but really? Sounds like she is both very impulsive and emotionally immature.
If that’s your bag, message her back.
If you want a drama free life, walk away. "
This! With the caveat that it depends how quickly she dumped "Mr Right" and how long you had been chatting for before she "dumped" him. Realistically, we often chat/date more than one person until things get serious with that one person.
But I still feel she could be a drama queen. Only you know if that's fair x |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"I was chatting to a lady from a dating site... Short time after we started messaging, we'd met once for a coffee I get a text saying "I've met someone else was lovely meeting you thought you should know " I replied with summat like "happy for you, thanks for letting me know,"
This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"
What would you do ?"
2nd best lol not sure whether i could be 2nd choice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was chatting to a lady from a dating site... Short time after we started messaging, we'd met once for a coffee I get a text saying "I've met someone else was lovely meeting you thought you should know " I replied with summat like "happy for you, thanks for letting me know,"
This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"
What would you do ?
You don't grt many opportunities on here so take up on the chance 2nd.time lucky."
Stand on the M25 to increase your chances of being hit by a Toyota Yaris.
2nd chances are massively overrated. |
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Personally I would ignore it, nothing people hate worse than being ignored.
I remember having a few dates with a girl and thought things were going well. She then sent me a war in peace email on how I was such a nice guy blah but don't think I'm the one blah but I deserve to meet somebody blah hope we can still be friends blah.
I just read it and went meh! And ignored it. Just thought of her thinking that she had made all that effort for nothing. It may have pissed her off or she may just thought I was a that??? We'll never know! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was chatting to a lady from a dating site... Short time after we started messaging, we'd met once for a coffee I get a text saying "I've met someone else was lovely meeting you thought you should know " I replied with summat like "happy for you, thanks for letting me know,"
This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"
What would you do ?"
What are your instincts telling you? Was it a good coffee date? Were you excited for a second date? Have you missed talking to her?
Realistically we're often in those early stages of dating with more than one person at a time.
If she is looking for a relationship and has been dedicated enough to someone she wanted to try and make it work with by calling off all other suitors, is that not what you would want too? It didn't work out, why should she have to start from square one again if she saw something she liked in you?
I want honesty more than anything from my partners so I'd see this good dating etiquette if I were looking for monogamy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was chatting to a lady from a dating site... Short time after we started messaging, we'd met once for a coffee I get a text saying "I've met someone else was lovely meeting you thought you should know " I replied with summat like "happy for you, thanks for letting me know,"
This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"
What would you do ?
What are your instincts telling you? Was it a good coffee date? Were you excited for a second date? Have you missed talking to her?
Realistically we're often in those early stages of dating with more than one person at a time.
If she is looking for a relationship and has been dedicated enough to someone she wanted to try and make it work with by calling off all other suitors, is that not what you would want too? It didn't work out, why should she have to start from square one again if she saw something she liked in you?
I want honesty more than anything from my partners so I'd see this good dating etiquette if I were looking for monogamy."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was chatting to a lady from a dating site... Short time after we started messaging, we'd met once for a coffee I get a text saying "I've met someone else was lovely meeting you thought you should know " I replied with summat like "happy for you, thanks for letting me know,"
This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"
What would you do ?"
Shag her then text her a few days later to say, you've met someone else |
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"I was chatting to a lady from a dating site... Short time after we started messaging, we'd met once for a coffee I get a text saying "I've met someone else was lovely meeting you thought you should know " I replied with summat like "happy for you, thanks for letting me know,"
This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"
What would you do ?
What are your instincts telling you? Was it a good coffee date? Were you excited for a second date? Have you missed talking to her?
Realistically we're often in those early stages of dating with more than one person at a time.
If she is looking for a relationship and has been dedicated enough to someone she wanted to try and make it work with by calling off all other suitors, is that not what you would want too? It didn't work out, why should she have to start from square one again if she saw something she liked in you?
I want honesty more than anything from my partners so I'd see this good dating etiquette if I were looking for monogamy.
"
Agree as well. Honesty is a great asset |
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"I was chatting to a lady from a dating site... Short time after we started messaging, we'd met once for a coffee I get a text saying "I've met someone else was lovely meeting you thought you should know " I replied with summat like "happy for you, thanks for letting me know,"
This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"
What would you do ?
What are your instincts telling you? Was it a good coffee date? Were you excited for a second date? Have you missed talking to her?
Realistically we're often in those early stages of dating with more than one person at a time.
If she is looking for a relationship and has been dedicated enough to someone she wanted to try and make it work with by calling off all other suitors, is that not what you would want too? It didn't work out, why should she have to start from square one again if she saw something she liked in you?
I want honesty more than anything from my partners so I'd see this good dating etiquette if I were looking for monogamy."
Someone on board with my way of thinking. Yay!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just out of curiousity op, how long was it between the text to say she'd met someone and the next one to say it didn't work out."
My guess, I'd deleted the original messages.. about 3 weeks ish |
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Thing is... life is short. If you're willing to pass something by then they really aren't that appealing to you. Personally I'd look at how interested I was in that person and how we got on. When dating we all have various options don't we? That's the joy in dating surely? |
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"I was chatting to a lady from a dating site... Short time after we started messaging, we'd met once for a coffee I get a text saying "I've met someone else was lovely meeting you thought you should know " I replied with summat like "happy for you, thanks for letting me know,"
This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"
What would you do ?"
I’d be saying ‘I’m sorry but I’m no one’s second choice’. |
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"I was chatting to a lady from a dating site... Short time after we started messaging, we'd met once for a coffee I get a text saying "I've met someone else was lovely meeting you thought you should know " I replied with summat like "happy for you, thanks for letting me know,"
This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"
What would you do ?
I’d be saying ‘I’m sorry but I’m no one’s second choice’."
I read your profile. I understand your response! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not a chance. I get quite funny about things like this, but if someone is into me and having casual fun with others it doesn't make me feel desired and completely puts me off them. I would no longer be interested. But that's me, and I know that's a bit strange. If you like her and you're not bothered by what she gets up to then you've got nothing to lose arranging more dates. |
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By *arl17Man
over a year ago
Central Portugal |
"I was chatting to a lady from a dating site... Short time after we started messaging, we'd met once for a coffee I get a text saying "I've met someone else was lovely meeting you thought you should know " I replied with summat like "happy for you, thanks for letting me know,"
This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"
What would you do ?
I’d be saying ‘I’m sorry but I’m no one’s second choice’.
I read your profile. I understand your response!"
You |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I messaged her back 
we're meeting for a drink this weekend   and we'll see what happens "
Well done! My philosophy with dating is mostly to give a second chance unless someone is a total idiot - it’s a horrid game out there and hard enough to find someone you click with. Sure, sometimes people don’t deserve a 2nd chance and you feel like an idiot for giving it - but better than missing the love of your life for some silly dating rule! |
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"Dating isn't being exclusive is it? I don't get some people's responses.
I think if you're onto 2nd or 3rd date maybe both are hoping it is"
Really?! Oh. I thought this was the tinder generation. I give up absolutely! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dating isn't being exclusive is it? I don't get some people's responses.
I think if you're onto 2nd or 3rd date maybe both are hoping it is
Really?! Oh. I thought this was the tinder generation. I give up absolutely!"
By the 3rd date?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was chatting to a lady from a dating site... Short time after we started messaging, we'd met once for a coffee I get a text saying "I've met someone else was lovely meeting you thought you should know " I replied with summat like "happy for you, thanks for letting me know,"
This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"
What would you do ?"
I'd totally ignore her....I wouldn't be anyones 2nd best....No Way....that's door mat treatment tbh...."well that didn't work out" so I'm back to you....She made her choice & it wasn't you & now she's crawling back ha....keep crawling I'd say....the other way.... |
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To be fair if I getvtwo matches on a site, as soon as second date is organised I tell the other one it’s not right to talk to her ( second date is yeah I liked you first one could go somewhere)
There are people who will date 4 /5 people at a time for weeks or months so realistically it’s more she has morals than you being a back up.
Just see why she cancelled or get her points why she’s back |
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By *arl17Man
over a year ago
Central Portugal |
"To be fair if I getvtwo matches on a site, as soon as second date is organised I tell the other one it’s not right to talk to her ( second date is yeah I liked you first one could go somewhere)
There are people who will date 4 /5 people at a time for weeks or months so realistically it’s more she has morals than you being a back up.
Just see why she cancelled or get her points why she’s back "
Crazy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dating isn't being exclusive is it? I don't get some people's responses.
I think if you're onto 2nd or 3rd date maybe both are hoping it is"
All they've done is swap some messages |
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"Dating isn't being exclusive is it? I don't get some people's responses.
I think if you're onto 2nd or 3rd date maybe both are hoping it is
All they've done is swap some messages "
That's what I thought. People treating it like they've been seeing each other for a while. No wonder many of you struggle with fab!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dating isn't being exclusive is it? I don't get some people's responses.
I think if you're onto 2nd or 3rd date maybe both are hoping it is
All they've done is swap some messages
That's what I thought. People treating it like they've been seeing each other for a while. No wonder many of you struggle with fab!!"
I feel attacked.
Tbh, it's usually far more dates these days, apparently |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dating isn't being exclusive is it? I don't get some people's responses.
I think if you're onto 2nd or 3rd date maybe both are hoping it is
All they've done is swap some messages
That's what I thought. People treating it like they've been seeing each other for a while. No wonder many of you struggle with fab!!"
Sorry you messaged someone else earlier up the thread ... I've had to block you |
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By *arl17Man
over a year ago
Central Portugal |
"Dating isn't being exclusive is it? I don't get some people's responses.
I think if you're onto 2nd or 3rd date maybe both are hoping it is
All they've done is swap some messages
That's what I thought. People treating it like they've been seeing each other for a while. No wonder many of you struggle with fab!!"
Fab is just passing...simples |
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"Dating isn't being exclusive is it? I don't get some people's responses.
I think if you're onto 2nd or 3rd date maybe both are hoping it is
All they've done is swap some messages
That's what I thought. People treating it like they've been seeing each other for a while. No wonder many of you struggle with fab!!
Sorry you messaged someone else earlier up the thread ... I've had to block you "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was getting ready for bed, nearly midnight..brushed my teeth, checked the doors were locked windows closed. Got into bed, light off..
Text message:
Asking for me to go to their house 10 moles away. They'd been stood up twice that night.
I ignored the message, turned off phone and was pissed off so had a drink of tea then went back to bed..
Bloody chhek so late at night no notice and being not their first or second choice but third!  |
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By *ags73Man
over a year ago
glasgow-ish |
"
Asking internet randoms is not really the best gauge of advice.
"
Dunno, seen some sound advice on here, the fabbers might be. Horny lot but they’re not thick (well.. that’s another whole thing) |
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Mate this is a swinging site.
NSA fun and all that good stuff. If you’re looking for a partner then move on. If you’re looking for fun and frolics at least she was honest enough to let you know she thought she had found someone and then thoughtful enough to let you know she was still interested.
A swing goes back and forth. So swing my friend smile and shout Weeeeeeeee!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mate this is a swinging site.
Op said they were on a dating site, not here"
Yes it was on a dating site....That's The Difference....hence my other comment further up |
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"I was chatting to a lady from a dating site... Short time after we started messaging, we'd met once for a coffee I get a text saying "I've met someone else was lovely meeting you thought you should know " I replied with summat like "happy for you, thanks for letting me know,"
This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"
What would you do ?"
***
Depends on how desperate are you.
I would say ignore her, but your willy should have a say in this. |
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"I was chatting to a lady from a dating site... Short time after we started messaging, we'd met once for a coffee I get a text saying "I've met someone else was lovely meeting you thought you should know " I replied with summat like "happy for you, thanks for letting me know,"
This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"
What would you do ?
***
Depends on how desperate are you.
I would say ignore her, but your willy should have a say in this."
Why desperate? Genuinely curious... They'd only chatted and been for a coffee previously. It's not like a church was booked and everyone's mum had bought a hat |
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By *JB1954Man
over a year ago
Reading |
This I agree with. Many years ago before internet. New a female who when going out with a group of friends paired up with. Did not date as such. Met first wife while working away. After divorce . Again met up with same female . We again saw each other a lot. She had been married and divorced also. Both had bad divorces.
Now she married again after a while . We were very good friends . I went to her wedding. She said to me at reception that although she loved husband . Her regret losing me.
So yes always when dating . You may be at first second choice. But who knows possibly first choice ? |
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"I was chatting to a lady from a dating site... Short time after we started messaging, we'd met once for a coffee I get a text saying "I've met someone else was lovely meeting you thought you should know " I replied with summat like "happy for you, thanks for letting me know,"
This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"
What would you do ?
***
Depends on how desperate are you.
I would say ignore her, but your willy should have a say in this.
Why desperate? Genuinely curious... They'd only chatted and been for a coffee previously. It's not like a church was booked and everyone's mum had bought a hat "
***
I just read the opening on the thread.
Didn't have that info,sorry. |
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"I was chatting to a lady from a dating site... Short time after we started messaging, we'd met once for a coffee I get a text saying "I've met someone else was lovely meeting you thought you should know " I replied with summat like "happy for you, thanks for letting me know,"
This morning I get a text "well that didn't work out,..... Hows you ?"
What would you do ?"
As long as you’re happy being second choice it’s all good |
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"I was getting ready for bed, nearly midnight..brushed my teeth, checked the doors were locked windows closed. Got into bed, light off..
Text message:
Asking for me to go to their house 10 moles away. They'd been stood up twice that night.
I ignored the message, turned off phone and was pissed off so had a drink of tea then went back to bed..
Bloody chhek so late at night no notice and being not their first or second choice but third! "
I have had similar from couples further than 10 miles away, had a quick think about it, saddled up then on my way to meet them and had some great nights that way.
I have been on here as a couple with my previous partner and we enjoyed meeting single guys, you need to bear in mind just how hard it is to pick the right guy, messages from 100s of guys, you know that some of them are well decent fellas, but picking the appropriate guy isn't as easy as you think.
If am 3rd or 4th choice and a couple find out the 2 or 3 guys they put before me turned out be,,,,, knobheads/disappointments, then am happy to be their 4th disappointment
It's great being 1st choice, but I'd be fine being standby as long as the girl/couple are honest about what's going on |
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By *arl17Man
over a year ago
Central Portugal |
"This I agree with. Many years ago before internet. New a female who when going out with a group of friends paired up with. Did not date as such. Met first wife while working away. After divorce . Again met up with same female . We again saw each other a lot. She had been married and divorced also. Both had bad divorces.
Now she married again after a while . We were very good friends . I went to her wedding. She said to me at reception that although she loved husband . Her regret losing me.
So yes always when dating . You may be at first second choice. But who knows possibly first choice ? "
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