FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > a.d.h.d.

a.d.h.d.

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

a.d.e.h.d.right im just going to be honest.my first memory as a child is remembering a sexual act. not on me ...but some thing il never forget. i was 2. now all of my life like many of you i have grown up on my own without parents.(childrens homes or with so called parents.) i was allways known as the naughty boy in the home but you know as well as me , you have to live today to bring on tomorrow. it might seem a little drawn out , but if theres anyone who'd like to chat and would'nt mind letting me know i might be normal. for me and people like me. its not right what i want to do and some of you are doing . and when we get to this point there will be the opposition.(what the fuck is he going on about.( a.d.h.d.) is about sex. sorry the girl says to the man on the platform, who kissed the wrong man. whats the advert.? lol darcy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

thank you no3

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

wtf...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Are you saying you have ADHD?

We were chatting a while back about how we never really heard if it in our own childhoods but seems quite common now.

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By *atisfy janeWoman over a year ago

Torquay

I blame the government....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"a.d.e.h.d.right im just going to be honest.my first memory as a child is remembering a sexual act. not on me ...but some thing il never forget. i was 2. now all of my life like many of you i have grown up on my own without parents.(childrens homes or with so called parents.) i was allways known as the naughty boy in the home but you know as well as me , you have to live today to bring on tomorrow. it might seem a little drawn out , but if theres anyone who'd like to chat and would'nt mind letting me know i might be normal. for me and people like me. its not right what i want to do and some of you are doing . and when we get to this point there will be the opposition.(what the fuck is he going on about.( a.d.h.d.) is about sex. sorry the girl says to the man on the platform, who kissed the wrong man. whats the advert.? lol darcy.

I really dont understand what you're trying to say-at all! Are you saying that you have ADHD and you think that its related to this first sexual memory??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thanks but what am i being thanked for

And no never heard of it so much when we were kids and now i think they are too quick to say kids have it and medicate them instead of actually spending time with the kid to see why they play up.One of lads teachers once asked me if id thought of having him tested for it because he was always running round and a bit of a handful but he would sleep from 7pm to 7 am so there was no way he was just a hyper kid.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman over a year ago

Kent

I'd love to comment something helpful but I'm just confused??

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By *rightloonMan over a year ago

Stafford

This thread has endless possibilities. I do love it when somebody posts something worthy of discussion. Perhaps its time to overload the server again LOL.

Its very easy to think that You had one very negative experience when you were young and impressionable so now have to spend the rest of your life as some kind of "no good sh1t"...

This is complete nonsense of course.... Kindly visit a hypnotherapist and get yourself reprogrammed at once please...

Next: there is the deeper question of how we should treat children and lots of people really don't know so do some very dumb things.

Is it ok to feed them a Ritalin and to hell with the consequences? Let m stop there and ask: what do you think?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This thread has endless possibilities. I do love it when somebody posts something worthy of discussion. Perhaps its time to overload the server again LOL.

Its very easy to think that You had one very negative experience when you were young and impressionable so now have to spend the rest of your life as some kind of "no good sh1t"...

This is complete nonsense of course.... Kindly visit a hypnotherapist and get yourself reprogrammed at once please...

Next: there is the deeper question of how we should treat children and lots of people really don't know so do some very dumb things.

Is it ok to feed them a Ritalin and to hell with the consequences? Let m stop there and ask: what do you think?"

No.

Treat the parents first. And then diagnose the kids.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/03/13 22:43:35]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Clint Eastwood's Dirty Harry character once said about nick names for serial killers "Give them a name and you give them a reason!".

The same can be said for kids with "A.D.H.D"!

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Aaaah, OK, so the OP has ADHD? Bollocks, it is purely a name given by the health organization as an excuse for mis-behaved kids who's parents have been shit role models for their kids. It's solely a way to excuse bad behaviour since the government f'ked up when it bought in legislation that stopped kids being given a f'kin good hiding when they misbehaved. Discipline kids, they don't misbehave, give them love and attention and they learn to love and respect others and their property. In the immortal words of Jim Royle "A.D.H.D....my arse!"

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By *ruitWoman over a year ago

near kings lynn

"Aaaah, OK, so the OP has ADHD? Bollocks, it is purely a name given by the health organization as an excuse for mis-behaved kids who's parents have been shit role models for their kids. It's solely a way to excuse bad behaviour since the government f'ked up when it bought in legislation that stopped kids being given a f'kin good hiding when they misbehaved. Discipline kids, they don't misbehave, give them love and attention and they learn to love and respect others and their property. In the immortal words of Jim Royle "A.D.H.D....my arse!""

Wow....lol. And you have medical knowledge if this. Maybe worked with kids with it.....then again it could just be an opinion happy to blame anything and anyone.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've worked with a lot (as in bloody loads) of kids diagnosed with ADHD, (and loads more claiming to be).

I'd say about 10% of those do seem to have genuine issues where they're unable to control their actions. The rest I agree is related to discipline, environment etc. - essentially parents.

I don't agree that discipline equals grown adults slapping small children. That's just a method of discipline for people too stupid or lazy to achieve it in other ways. Ironically a great deal of those kids that did have ADHD also have parents who do hit them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wow....lol. And you have medical knowledge if this. Maybe worked with kids with it.....then again it could just be an opinion happy to blame anything and anyone."

I agree with the person you disagree with, but I also think that people who work with so called ADHD 'sufferers' have to defend them as they'd be talking themselves out of a job.

It's a made up bullshit condition hung around the necks of kids who just need a bit of attention, and when they act up (kids do that you know) you sit them down and explain why what they are doing is wrong.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Pretty much. I'm sceptical about the diagnosis too but I wouldn't completely write it off - but without any doubt it's hugely over diagnosed.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I grew up in care from the age of 3, a slap now and then never did me no harm,I do not suffer from ADHD.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/03/13 23:07:31]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This thread has endless possibilities. I do love it when somebody posts something worthy of discussion. Perhaps its time to overload the server again LOL.

Its very easy to think that You had one very negative experience when you were young and impressionable so now have to spend the rest of your life as some kind of "no good sh1t"...

This is complete nonsense of course.... Kindly visit a hypnotherapist and get yourself reprogrammed at once please...

Next: there is the deeper question of how we should treat children and lots of people really don't know so do some very dumb things.

Is it ok to feed them a Ritalin and to hell with the consequences? Let m stop there and ask: what do you think?

No.

Treat the parents first. And then diagnose the kids."

Here here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wow....lol. And you have medical knowledge if this. Maybe worked with kids with it.....then again it could just be an opinion happy to blame anything and anyone.

I agree with the person you disagree with, but I also think that people who work with so called ADHD 'sufferers' have to defend them as they'd be talking themselves out of a job.

Before the label ADHD was 'invented', there were no 'jobs' working with such kids, so how did the populus survive? Kids were given a clip round the earhole if they mis-behaved, a slap across the back of the legs, by policemen and teachers as well as parents. In my day, if we mis-behaved and got caught by the local bobby, the policeman would give us a slap upside the head, march you home and then you'd get it again twice as bad off your parents, A) for doing wrong in the first place, and B) for having a policeman catch you and bring you home embarrassing them. Soon learnt to behave, and never had any label attached, needed therapy, counselling or any other waste of NHS resources that could be better spent on treating people with genuine problems, instead of spoilt, whiny-arsed kids who are a simply a by-product of parents laziness, ignorance and lack of anything thats morally correct!!!

"I worked with kids with ADHD, I know what I'm talking about"...do you buggery!..You are doing a job that pays you money, you happen to want to do it because you get satisfaction and some deluded grandeur out of thinking you can 'change' the behavioural patterns of kids. Would the same job exist if the label ADHD had never been invented?...NO!!...you would simply be doing a job that BORSTOL did for kids years ago.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Pretty sweeping statement there .... I work with ADHD children and have to say the day I or anyone else suggest that a 'f'kin good hiding' will somehow cure this condition would be the day I pack it in. The issue is not whether the condition exists but that there is a lot of ignorance and denial regarding it thereby stigmatising the children and their parents as well as the adults with ADHD. With regard to medication, that is always a last resort in my experience. There is clinical evidence freely available highlighting the physical evidence of differences in brain activity in people who are affected by ADHD, maybe research and learn as education about any condition is better than condemning those who are affected, don't you think?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Trace works in a Leisure facility.

Now and again groups of kids with various problems are brought in to use the gym.

The woman in charge of the kids told Trace that a certain boy could be a bit disruptive, sure enough he started acting up.

Trace called him over and asked him what was wrong, he replied, rather proudly, that he had A.D.H.D.

With a frosty smile and cold glare she said "Not in here you haven't sunshine, do we understand each other?".

From then on he was as well behaved as the rest and better than most.

That's the absolute truth!

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Of course the brain activity in naughty, rude, ill-mannered kids is different, doesn't mean they should label it ADHD to somehow excuse it!

Here, try this for size..I offer you a job, paying you £50k a year to look after my child. he smashes things sometimes, gets angry a bit, swears a lot but can also be a thoroughly pleasant lad when he wants to be. His symptom is called C.A.N.G.A ( Craves Attention Not Getting Any) are you qualified to deal with such behaviour?

You've dealt with kids with similar traits, so yes you are. I made up a 'label', my kid now has a 'problem' that is recognised, thus releasing me from any parental blame.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Of course the brain activity in naughty, rude, ill-mannered kids is different, doesn't mean they should label it ADHD to somehow excuse it!

You've dealt with kids with similar traits, so yes you are. I made up a 'label', my kid now has a 'problem' that is recognised, thus releasing me from any parental blame."

You obviously have an overactive imagination if you think I earn anywhere near that amount of money. All Im saying is show me your evidence of non existence.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Of course the brain activity in naughty, rude, ill-mannered kids is different, doesn't mean they should label it ADHD to somehow excuse it!

You've dealt with kids with similar traits, so yes you are. I made up a 'label', my kid now has a 'problem' that is recognised, thus releasing me from any parental blame.

You obviously have an overactive imagination if you think I earn anywhere near that amount of money. All Im saying is show me your evidence of non existence."

It was a hypothetical amount, first figure that came into my head that's all.

You want evidence of the non-existance of something that doesn't exist?...That's a tricky one even for someone of my calibre.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you actually research you will see that brain activity in the frontal region is different with children with adhd. This is not for naughty children as you so simply put it but a clear difference in brain functioning and Neuro transmitters. Good to see you know what you are talking about

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Of course the brain activity in naughty, rude, ill-mannered kids is different, doesn't mean they should label it ADHD to somehow excuse it!

You've dealt with kids with similar traits, so yes you are. I made up a 'label', my kid now has a 'problem' that is recognised, thus releasing me from any parental blame.

You obviously have an overactive imagination if you think I earn anywhere near that amount of money. All Im saying is show me your evidence of non existence.

It was a hypothetical amount, first figure that came into my head that's all.

You want evidence of the non-existance of something that doesn't exist?...That's a tricky one even for someone of my calibre.

Look I understand where your belief comes from but I think you confuse children who have this condition with children who are as you say badly behaved and the parents WANT the diagnosis in order to relieve them of responsibility but I assure you no one walks in and says 'Ill have a diagnosis of ADHD please' it's a long process to get to the point of diagnosis and IF medication is prescribed, again it's not done lightly but here's a question for you....why does the medication, when it's prescribed improve the behaviours if the condition doesnt exist?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The issue is not whether the condition exists but that there is a lot of ignorance and denial regarding it thereby stigmatising the children and their parents as well as the adults with ADHD. With regard to medication, that is always a last resort in my experience. There is clinical evidence freely available highlighting the physical evidence of differences in brain activity in people who are affected by ADHD, maybe research and learn as education about any condition is better than condemning those who are affected, don't you think?"

Some of that ignorance/denial/prejudice is due to lazy diagnosis, and also use of the term for kids that haven't been diagnosed at all - just labelled with it.

I think the comment earlier on about giving a condition a name and it being lived up to has a lot of validity too.

Just to throw in another angle - I also work with children in Africa. They don't seem to suffer it..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/03/13 00:04:29]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As I mentioned, there is abundant evidence go look......

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wow.... Just wow

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By *r and mrs sanddancerCouple over a year ago

BOLDON COLLIERY

"A.D.H.D in my day it was called being a little T.W.A.T

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By *r and mrs sanddancerCouple over a year ago

BOLDON COLLIERY

[Removed by poster at 02/03/13 00:16:46]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thanks. South Africa is a lot more developed than the areas I work in so not ideally comparative. This line in the conclusion is interesting though:

"However, cultural differences do affect the performance on neuropsychological measures. The reason may be that cultural factors are important determinants of child rearing practices which may affect the brain’s organization of cognition."

Although whether ADHD exists wasn't my point. I'm assured by the nurse sitting next to me that it does. My point is that based in my work with kids in this country there are a lot that have been diagnosed and/or express 'ADHD behaviour'.

In my work overseas there are not.

So while the condition appears to exist, I doubt it's as prevalent as its diagnosis, and back to my original points - I think for most kids, environment, culture, parenting are key - not medication.

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By *ustamysteryWoman over a year ago

south cumbria

As a grandparent of a teenager with adhd its not just bad behaviour or lack of disipline. I have my grandchild most weekends have done since she was a baby. She was in tears tonight because shes been bullied in school called a psyco in front of techers and feels they dont care. shes bright doing GCSE maths and science early she self harmed tried to kill herself try living with it then you mite understand

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"As a grandparent of a teenager with adhd its not just bad behaviour or lack of disipline. I have my grandchild most weekends have done since she was a baby. She was in tears tonight because shes been bullied in school called a psyco in front of techers and feels they dont care. shes bright doing GCSE maths and science early she self harmed tried to kill herself try living with it then you mite understand"

PERHAPS IT'S PARENTS SHOULD STOP PALMING HER OFF TO GRANDMA'S EVERY WEEKEND, THAT COULD BE THE TRAUMATIC PROBLEM THAT IS CAUSING HER TO MISBEHAVE AND SEEK ATTENTION. SHE PERHAPS FEELS UNLOVED AND UNWANTED BY HER PARENTS AND IS REBELLING AGAINST BEING FORCED TO HER GRANDPARENTS FROM SUCH AN EARLY AGE???

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sorry for caps lock, didn't mean to shout but couldn't be bothered to re-type it all again...Hang on, that must mean I have an attention deficit disorder, I didn't pay attention to the caps lock and I couldn't be bothered to do the right thing and correct it.... I'M A BELIEVER!!...PASS ME THE RITALIN!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Seems harsh to jump to judgements like that to me.

Maybe she loves going to her grandparents? How on earth could any of us know on here?

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By *ustamysteryWoman over a year ago

south cumbria

Sorry am the only grandarent and she isnt forced to come she often phones and asks to come. She is very close to my youngest daughter whos still a teenager. She has never been palmed off she is here tonite and so is her younger brother.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Seems harsh to jump to judgements like that to me.

Maybe she loves going to her grandparents? How on earth could any of us know on here?"

I'm using it as an example, not a personal attack or assumption. example being, kids behaviour is modelled on their lifestyle and parents/family control of it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Seems harsh to jump to judgements like that to me.

Maybe she loves going to her grandparents? How on earth could any of us know on here?

I'm using it as an example, not a personal attack or assumption. example being, kids behaviour is modelled on their lifestyle and parents/family control of it."

Anyway, this thread bores me now, it's be done before many times. Some will agree, some disagree. There's a label for that too...CHOICE. And remember, even if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

next thread this way is it?

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By *ruitWoman over a year ago

near kings lynn

Rough diamonds I find your personal atrack on a poster on here extreemly rude.

I suggest thinking before you post x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Unbelievably shocking

Until you are a Parent/relative of Children who suffer this Condition, you know nothing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

totally agree i have a son who has aspergers (form of autism) and adhd ...the label kills me but it allows me to change my way of parenting him so he lives a normal life and doesnt just exist. i do agree that the label is over used and some parents have to answer for their childs behaviour but not all are at fault ..i just want a happy 12 year old xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" Treat the parents first. And then diagnose the kids."

If you mean Educate the parents first, I agree 100%.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Some of these comments make me so angry, unless you have a child with adhd and have lived through the struggles please refrain some posting negative comments about something you know nothing about. It may have been over diagnosed in the past but children are not fed medication without proper diagnosis and are supervised very closely, life for a child, parent and siblings is very difficult when living with this condition, it is real, it has huge impact on the lives of everyone involved and whilst I agree some children are wrongly labelled it doesn't mean all are !!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"totally agree i have a son who has aspergers (form of autism) and adhd ...the label kills me but it allows me to change my way of parenting him so he lives a normal life and doesnt just exist. i do agree that the label is over used and some parents have to answer for their childs behaviour but not all are at fault ..i just want a happy 12 year old xx"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

thats what i mean until the diagnosis i was pulling my hair out but now i know how to parent him to get the best out of him ....its great to see your child happy and making sense of the world ..he couldnt adjust to my world so i adjusted and went in to his ...the rewards are amazing xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some of these comments make me so angry, unless you have a child with adhd and have lived through the struggles please refrain some posting negative comments about something you know nothing about. It may have been over diagnosed in the past but children are not fed medication without proper diagnosis and are supervised very closely, life for a child, parent and siblings is very difficult when living with this condition, it is real, it has huge impact on the lives of everyone involved and whilst I agree some children are wrongly labelled it doesn't mean all are !!"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd love to comment something helpful but I'm just confused?? "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" Treat the parents first. And then diagnose the kids.

If you mean Educate the parents first, I agree 100%.....

As with everything, a holistic approach is paramount. It is not just one treatment option but a range including extensive assessment, parenting classes, behaviour management, understanding the condition and in resistant cases, medication.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You can remember something that happened when you were 2 FFs I can't remember what I did 2 days ago

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You can't always blame the parents, I know some great parents, but there kids still turn out to be arseholes, no matter what they tried to do to stop this happening

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" Treat the parents first. And then diagnose the kids.

If you mean Educate the parents first, I agree 100%.....

I agree although parenting classes should be called something different, I was offended when it was suggested to me as I consider myself a good parent, it was however very useful as it taught us better coping strategies and ways to deal with behaviour management in some situations , it does have to be an holistic approach, but better awareness of the condition would be helpfull generally so that everyone could understand that not all children are just naughty or have insufficient parenting

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" Treat the parents first. And then diagnose the kids.

If you mean Educate the parents first, I agree 100%.....

Yea know what you mean. no intention to offend though and agree about better understanding, especially when you read some of the opinions on here but ...everyone is entitled to one I guess....glad to hear things have helped you though ...all the best

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"You can remember something that happened when you were 2 FFs I can't remember what I did 2 days ago"

I remember my dad making my sister and me our bottles, it contained Milo. I recall us sitting on the floor as I can see his blue trousers with big turn ups...I was about two, over 50 years ago.

Ask me what I was doing 50 minutes ago...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" Treat the parents first. And then diagnose the kids.

If you mean Educate the parents first, I agree 100%.....

As a one time parent of a son who was diagnosed ADHD.... If the response is not holistic, we will fail the child....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" Treat the parents first. And then diagnose the kids.

If you mean Educate the parents first, I agree 100%.....

As a one time parent of a son who was diagnosed ADHD.... If the response is not holistic, we will fail the child....

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By *unknSoulCouple over a year ago

dumfries-ish

Amazing. The same old names talking aload of shite they know nothing about, but get to dominate the topic again and again and again. Nice one the op.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Unbelievably shocking

Until you are a Parent/relative of Children who suffer this Condition, you know nothing

My thoughts exactly

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By *unknSoulCouple over a year ago

dumfries-ish

Adverts for glasses by the way.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Amazing. The same old names talking aload of shite they know nothing about, but get to dominate the topic again and again and again. Nice one the op.

As a regular forumite, there are many people on this post who I have not come across before, so think your comment is unfounded

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You can remember something that happened when you were 2 FFs I can't remember what I did 2 days ago"

My earliest memory was when I was almost two. So it is possible that the OP is telling the truth..

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By *Ryan-Man over a year ago

In Your Bush

"Amazing. The same old names talking aload of shite they know nothing about, but get to dominate the topic again and again and again. Nice one the op.

As a regular forumite, there are many people on this post who I have not come across before, so think your comment is unfounded

You should pay more attention lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Amazing. The same old names talking aload of shite they know nothing about, but get to dominate the topic again and again and again. Nice one the op.

As a regular forumite, there are many people on this post who I have not come across before, so think your comment is unfounded

*whispers* Pssst.... Dont feed 'em....

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By *oulou45Woman over a year ago

Bucks

Adhd does exist I've seen it first hand. I also had a friend who was in his 40,s when he was diagnosed.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Amazing. The same old names talking aload of shite they know nothing about, but get to dominate the topic again and again and again. Nice one the op.

As a regular forumite, there are many people on this post who I have not come across before, so think your comment is unfounded

You should pay more attention lol"

I'm easily distracted

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" Treat the parents first. And then diagnose the kids.

If you mean Educate the parents first, I agree 100%.....

This is a problem. On the one hand people react angrily to being told how to parent (and so would I), but on the other hand, and especially for parents with no parenting support of their own, who do you learn from?!

My original point was prediagnosis though - not meant as a criticism of parents trying their hardest to manage.

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By *phroditeWoman over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

" Ironically a great deal of those kids that did have ADHD also have parents who do hit them."
ADHD is on the autism spectrum asn like all other diagnoses within Autism, the possibility of a child becoming and "ADHD" case are linked to a genetic predisposition AND environmental factors; as such some children have the "gene" but do not develop into full blown ADHD sufferers while others do.

Consequently it is not surprising that ADHD does run in families and it is therefore not surprising that some children will be born to ADHD parents.

Good parenting skills can make all the difference - however, if the parent has (undiagnosed)ADHD him/herself then unsurprisingly their parenting skill might not be ideal.

I believe that today there may possibly too many diagnoses and too much medication... having said that the proper clinical diagnosis takes more than a visit to a GP. It is a lot lot more complex than this.

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By *phroditeWoman over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"Adhd does exist I've seen it first hand. I also had a friend who was in his 40,s when he was diagnosed. "
I know people in their 50ies and 60ies with undidagnosed ADHD - when they were young the diagnosis was largely unknown in Europe.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/03/13 13:02:23]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Like most mental illnesses there are quite fine boundaries between a confirmed diagnosis and an unconfirmable one. Someone diagnosed with mild ADHD could just be a little git, and one who actually has mild ADHD can just be considered to be a little git. Then there are the very genuine ones who are way up the scale.

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By *oulou45Woman over a year ago

Bucks

"Adhd does exist I've seen it first hand. I also had a friend who was in his 40,s when he was diagnosed. I know people in their 50ies and 60ies with undidagnosed ADHD - when they were young the diagnosis was largely unknown in Europe."
they discoverd my friend had it when they were running tests on his son. I used to say I thought he had it.

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By *rightloonMan over a year ago

Stafford

" Ironically a great deal of those kids that did have ADHD also have parents who do hit them.ADHD is on the autism spectrum asn like all other diagnoses within Autism, the possibility of a child becoming and "ADHD" case are linked to a genetic predisposition AND environmental factors; as such some children have the "gene" but do not develop into full blown ADHD sufferers while others do.

Consequently it is not surprising that ADHD does run in families and it is therefore not surprising that some children will be born to ADHD parents.

Good parenting skills can make all the difference - however, if the parent has (undiagnosed)ADHD him/herself then unsurprisingly their parenting skill might not be ideal.

Some strong view points from both sides as you would expect but this is the most balanced view I would say.

Presuming that the gene pool stays as it is then if real genuine cases are on the rise (hard to know from the eagerness to diagnose perhaps I know) then what in the environment is causing it? Is it really being sat in a room watching a TV excessively and eating all that processed dodgy food?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Consequently it is not surprising that ADHD does run in families and it is therefore not surprising that some children will be born to ADHD parents.

Good parenting skills can make all the difference - however, if the parent has (undiagnosed)ADHD him/herself then unsurprisingly their parenting skill might not be ideal.

Some strong view points from both sides as you would expect but this is the most balanced view I would say.

I would imagine there are a lot of environmental reasons and diet is definitely a contributing factor , we are advised to give sugar free products to our children but these contain high levels of aspartame, a very toxic substance, once I had cut this and other additives fom my sons diet it made a huge difference , that may not be the case for all children with adhd but it's definitely worth a try

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By *phroditeWoman over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Consequently it is not surprising that ADHD does run in families and it is therefore not surprising that some children will be born to ADHD parents.

Good parenting skills can make all the difference - however, if the parent has (undiagnosed)ADHD him/herself then unsurprisingly their parenting skill might not be ideal.

Some strong view points from both sides as you would expect but this is the most balanced view I would say.

I bet it did make a difference - I would personally also cut the Aspartame and only allow natural sugars such as in _ruit.

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By *-BelleWoman over a year ago

Brighton

I'm going to keep this polite and not respond to any particular provocative message.

I have twin sons, who are now 24. They were both diagnosed with adhd as children. The reason for the diagnosis was that I knew something wasn't right. They weren't inherently naughty, but were unable to control their behaviour. I was not a working parent so I was always there for them. I am a qualified nursery nurse and am now a special needs teaching assistant. So it was not down to bad parenting. As much as anyone ever can I know what I'm doing. I don't profess to be perfect but I'm just making the point that anyone, from any background can have a child with adhd.

Ritalin gets a very bad press because of it's over use but for one of my sons it was a life saver. Without it he would probably have ended up expelled from school and on a very different life path. The other one has a different form of adhd and ritalin didn't work for him at all.

Both of my boys have learnt to cope with their problems and have become relatively sucessful adults - for one, his obsessiveness over something that interests him resulted in him qualifying as a mechanic in the top 2 per cent of the country, but my god did he struggle to organise himself to get his job sheets done!

So please, don't assume it's a made up problem. Don't think that it's just down to bad parenting. And sometimes Ritalin is a good thing for a while.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

my name is darcy.and i must say sorry for the op i posted on friday evening, i take medication for a.d.h.d but like the pratt i can be had a few beers.so what i wrote was abit random and did'nt make to much sense, again sorry for that.i i grew up in manchester and was taken from the woman who gave birth to me when i was two, along with my brother and from there went in to childrens homes. my brother was taken away from me and then i was told that one of the new girls was my sister. this happed alot,new brothers and sister.so i hardend myself to cope with them being taken away from me.i lived in homes where i was battered and raped. made to fight and the loser was raped. im not proud of this but i became a good fighter.but only to people who wanted to fight me or id sort out bullies.yes i know now that was bullying

.but to this day i will allways stand up for the weak.because no one was there for me.at school i was the teachers nightmare.i stopped all the kids from learning because i was a little shit.i was expeled from every school i went to, i hated men and back then the teachers would give you aclip round the ear but i battered every male teacher that hit me.i didnt finish school,i allways got a job but was allways sacked for violence.i moved down south(poor south.) i allways thought that i behaved like i did because of being in care and not being wanted by my parents.i was so wrong.my father was placed in a mental home for 25 years, the day he was realeased he tried to stop a train he lost.(poor man.)the woman who gave birth to me gave birth to another 9 all different dads.i have 5 children with the same woman.but they all have a.d.h.d.they grew up with love no abuse and no violence.and yet they all behaved like i did.why.i am 51 and last year i was told i had a.d.h.d.and now with my medication i am now living a real life. and so are my kids.now please tell me there is no such thing as a.d.h.d.but the thing with it comes a very high sex drive and i wanted to know if there were people like me on this site, i know peope will coment on this, be rude to me not to other peope who make coments .i might be wrong to have posted this but i have. darcy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think your problems run deeper than a passing member of a forum can help you effectively with.

If putting it down in print has been cathartic for you, then good, but I think the best advice anyone here can give you is to seek professional assistance in fighting your demons.

Hearing others own personal experiences may make things worse for you in the long run by creating greater confusion whilst not addressing YOUR OWN problems.

I wish you well

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By *exki11enWoman over a year ago

Bristol

"All Im saying is show me your evidence of non existence."

" You want evidence of the non-existance of something that doesn't exist?...That's a tricky one even for someone of my calibre.

Hahahaha, f*in brilliant

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By *amschwingerzCouple over a year ago

West

Its very popular with the 'chavs'...they have all got it apparently..

Until you ask them what it means..and you get back 'well, I dunno like, its like, I dunno..everything does my fucking ed in and I cant learn nuffink can I'....

Of course there are some genuine cases..but it just seems like a very convenient hook for certain kids to hang all their horrible behaviour on at the moment..

Similar to the 'Im dyslexic so I cant do any theory work cos it does my ed in' excuse..then when you ask them if they have been statemented you just get a blank look and 'whats that'...

Personally I think at lot of this is deflecting help for those who genuinely need a little extra help.

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By *phroditeWoman over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I'm going to keep this polite and not respond to any particular provocative message.

So please, don't assume it's a made up problem. Don't think that it's just down to bad parenting. And sometimes Ritalin is a good thing for a while."
Well said !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Can i ask the people that work with these kids a question?

(and i apologise in advance if it has already been asked).

But, in what generation was this 'condition' first discovered/diagnosed?? It wasn't the generation that got no discipline handed out at school was it? The one that PARENTS weren't allowed to give their OWN children a smack if they needed it! The one that basically could run riot and do whatever they wanted until the GOVERNMENT realised that they had to label this generation rather than admit they made a mistake!!

As a previous op said, NO-ONE had EVER heard of this so-called 'condition' when i was a kid, we got smacked/disciplined and are a lot better for it!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Its very popular with the 'chavs'...they have all got it apparently..

Until you ask them what it means..and you get back 'well, I dunno like, its like, I dunno..everything does my fucking ed in and I cant learn nuffink can I'....

Of course there are some genuine cases..but it just seems like a very convenient hook for certain kids to hang all their horrible behaviour on at the moment..

Similar to the 'Im dyslexic so I cant do any theory work cos it does my ed in' excuse..then when you ask them if they have been statemented you just get a blank look and 'whats that'...

Personally I think at lot of this is deflecting help for those who genuinely need a little extra help."

I agree with that. Especially the last sentence.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think your problems run deeper than a passing member of a forum can help you effectively with.

If putting it down in print has been cathartic for you, then good, but I think the best advice anyone here can give you is to seek professional assistance in fighting your demons.

Hearing others own personal experiences may make things worse for you in the long run by creating greater confusion whilst not addressing YOUR OWN problems.

I wish you well

Good post...

OP... Please do not feel ashamed of asking for professional help...

A lot of people do it from time to time...

It looks like you are well on the right track to sorting out your past, and your children's future, so let someone with training help you finish the job....

Well done, and the very best of luck...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think it's absolutely disgusting the way some cruel people can speak about these poor children like this

it's vile!my son suffers autism and is now possibly being treated for a.d.h.d we are both excellent parents I think it's cruel how people say its down to poor parenting not at all think some people really need to look Into it instead of blaming parents I put 100% into my childs upbringing he's very hard work but I don't care ill always support him!hes my child x

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By *phroditeWoman over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"Can i ask the people that work with these kids a question?

(and i apologise in advance if it has already been asked).

As a previous op said, NO-ONE had EVER heard of this so-called 'condition' when i was a kid, we got smacked/disciplined and are a lot better for it!"
It was discovered in the US back in the 1930ies - and it was quite rare then. It is believed now that some environmental factors have added to the immense growth in ADHD diagnoses. For example (and this is just a tiny example taken out of context) we did not have that many food colourings and additives 50 years ago and I have personally spotted nicely behaved children go beserk after they had eaten a tub of smarties...

I do understand why some people believe it is a new label applied to bad behaviours and poor parenting skills and sometimes the parenting skills could do with improving. Nonetheless the condition does exist and it can be very difficult to live with for parents, siblings and later in life for their partners.

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By *phroditeWoman over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Meant to add... that smacking and other forms of corporal punishment, irrespective of how I feel about them, simply do not work with ADHD children - they are completely ineffective as the children are not naughty - they just have no control over their behaviour as other forum posters stated before me.

A bit like a person suffering from Tourettes has no control over the swearing or the ticks... the symptoms get better when they are calm and stress free and they worsen under stress.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think it's absolutely disgusting the way some cruel people can speak about these poor children like this

You have my utmost respect in coping with your sons condition it's bloody hard work, my son has adha and now as a young adult of 20 he struggles in certain situations. I put 100% into him and with love, encouragement and oodles of support he's ok and has a job.

Some people have no concept of what adhd does to the children or their families. We still fight ignorance and resistance within the "system, schooling etc...." to get the correct help for our children.

But like everything else these days, there is not the money in budgets to provide support staff or very much else!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think it's absolutely disgusting the way some cruel people can speak about these poor children like this

But like everything else these days, there is not the money in budgets to provide support staff or very much else!!!"
i just can't believe how sick some people really are by judging parents and these poor kids it turns my tummy id love to see them actually cope with these children it's not nice for the kids parents or family,it's so hard I've practically had break downs thru it but when I get that down I know I've got to bounce straight back up to be there for him and I always will,the feeling I get when I've got to put tablets in his juice vile

but again it's for his benefit not that they do much he doesn't sleep long at all he's so violent but he's my child I brought him into this world and I shall support him every way possible

my two children are my whole entire world bet half of you's who is commenting havent even got kids!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think it's absolutely disgusting the way some cruel people can speak about these poor children like this

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By *Ryan-Man over a year ago

In Your Bush

Oh our friendly forum poster has left the site !

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By *issHottieBottieWoman over a year ago

Kent

"Oh our friendly forum poster has left the site ! "

Shame. Always had such nice things to say! Lol x x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can i ask the people that work with these kids a question?

(and i apologise in advance if it has already been asked).

As a previous op said, NO-ONE had EVER heard of this so-called 'condition' when i was a kid, we got smacked/disciplined and are a lot better for it!"

You have to separate out that there is a diagnosable condition, and that for some they clearly benefit from having had that diagnosis.

This is separate from the issue of overdiagnosis - which in itself may not strictly the correct term, in that I've seen more than a few parental consent forms listing ADHD as a condition, but those children have not had medication with them.

In the areas of Africa I work, those children can't access life saving medication let alone for this kind of condition. And yet children there do not seem to behave in the kinds of ways a significant number of children do here.

So for me there are deeper issues, and for some children it is not medication that is the answer. That does not take anything away from those genuinely suffering it as a condition.

For each of you that claims 'it never did me any harm'.. Please go and find somebody twice your size, ask them to give you a good beating and then report back. If you can throw in the hurt from having somebody you love and adore physically harming you then that would be even better.

I'm 100% of the opinion that there is a serious issue with a lack of discipline for children now. But there are cleverer ways than hitting. If this wasn't true, you'd most likely find that most kids in the most deprived areas would be little angels.

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By *phroditeWoman over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

You have to separate out that there is a diagnosable condition, and that for some they clearly benefit from having had that diagnosis.

So for me there are deeper issues, and for some children it is not medication that is the answer. That does not take anything away from those genuinely suffering it as a condition.

WHat a great post!

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By *rightloonMan over a year ago

Stafford

Well I think the OP has "testicles of steel" for posting like that and apologizing. This gains my respect TBH.

This site is clearly not a substitute for professional help but in these times when we sometimes have little sense of physical community in our area then this community can be a source of support and a place to discuss things.

Here are some of my own experiences. I remember a few kids when I was growing up myself that seemed to have no sense of barriers on what was right and wrong and yet their siblings were often well adjusted in this way. This was in the 70's well before ADHD and drugs of course.

Then I remember a few years back eating a big packet of sweets in the car on a long drive. Big mistake. I was beside myself with anxiety when I got to the other end. Raging headache and no idea what to do with my limbs somehow. I could not sit still and I had to go for a long walk and drink a few pints of water before I felt like myself again. Clearly the sugar rush had just been too much.

Some time later I was on a boat river cruise with some little kids. They had to sit still as the boat was not very big. The parents gave them loads of sweets to keep them occupied and I could see that as the journey went on they were getting exactly the same symptoms as I had in that car.

So I can sort of understand that some kids are just off the scale in terms of trouble they can get into in a kind of inadvertent way because they don't seem to know when to stop and diet is crucial too.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Well I think the OP has "testicles of steel" for posting like that and apologizing. This gains my respect TBH.

That's what we were discussing a while back - we just don't remember kids we went to school with having it - but obviously there were plenty of little buggers!

Lifestyle factors are interesting - mind you if we can't trust that we're actually eating the right animals in our food, what chance do we have of understanding the additives?

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By *rightloonMan over a year ago

Stafford

GM foods is quite another thread.

Genetically modifying something is non-linear and partially unpredictable. A tiny change in a gene can make a huge change in what it actually is and what it does.

Proceed with extreme caution in my view. Putting this in the hands of companies who just want to make money is (I hope) something that future generations will not regret but its early days yet.....

This is very different from selective breeding that's gone on for thousands of years by farmers etc because the effect is much faster and stronger.

The gluten levels we get in wheat these days are extreme. This is nothing like the precursor of wheat which is spelt. Note how many people are gluten intolerant these days....

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By *phroditeWoman over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"GM foods is quite another thread.

Genetically modifying something is non-linear and partially unpredictable. A tiny change in a gene can make a huge change in what it actually is and what it does.

Proceed with extreme caution in my view. Putting this in the hands of companies who just want to make money is (I hope) something that future generations will not regret but its early days yet.....

This is very different from selective breeding that's gone on for thousands of years by farmers etc because the effect is much faster and stronger.

The gluten levels we get in wheat these days are extreme. This is nothing like the precursor of wheat which is spelt. Note how many people are gluten intolerant these days...."
I grew up with spelt bread (not in the UK) and there are some places in the UK where you can get it as well now. Or you could bake your own... you are right about the wheat...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think there's a lot of truth in all these posts.

Some parents ARE crap and look for any excuse that their bad kids aren't their fault. Same as some kids use it as an excuse too.

But that doesn't mean ALL. I know a lot of parents with adhd and autistic kids. They work bloody hard looking after their kids and making sure they have the most normal and happy life possible.

I also think there is some truth in the additives/ sugar/ sweets etc theory. I know a couple of kids that never eat sweets and they are always really calm and well behaved. Their mates eat sweets all the time and they are always climbing the walls. I know it could be anything from genetics to upbringing and anything else that makes one child calm and another not. But all the rubbish they are putting in food these days isn't a good thing.

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