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By *929 OP Man 51 weeks ago
newcastle |
Anyone with a better understanding of how the brain works tell me why 7 months later after the end of a relationship and being gone the whole time that suddenly are very bothered by it now and think it was a massive mistake? Last two weeks can’t shake the miserable feeling feels like a breakup normally feels when it first happens |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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Grief (and the end of a ltr is a grieving process) doesn’t have a timetable. But are you missing the person, or the relationship (regardless of the person)? |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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Did you have a lot going on and other urgent/important things that needed your attention? Did those things end recently or something else change so that now you have the time and an emotional safe space to process your grief for the relationship?
There are lots of possible explanations. The first thing I would look at is what is different now vs then. |
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By *929 OP Man 51 weeks ago
newcastle |
In reply to Jamie Jay, nice couple and mrs whish (sorry don’t know how to quote 3 at once) since you all suggested a similar reason, a few weeks ago something clicked and I felt “me again” I hadn’t been myself for nearly 18 months since I had a heart attack I met the lass a few months prior to it and had a great few months after the end of 15 year relationship thrn after I took Ill I didn’t feel myself anymore lost the ability to care about anything and just felt sadness and she lasted 9 months or so but eventually had enough as soon as I felt me again I realised how much I missed her and can’t think of anything else since |
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"In reply to Jamie Jay, nice couple and mrs whish (sorry don’t know how to quote 3 at once) since you all suggested a similar reason, a few weeks ago something clicked and I felt “me again” I hadn’t been myself for nearly 18 months since I had a heart attack I met the lass a few months prior to it and had a great few months after the end of 15 year relationship thrn after I took Ill I didn’t feel myself anymore lost the ability to care about anything and just felt sadness and she lasted 9 months or so but eventually had enough as soon as I felt me again I realised how much I missed her and can’t think of anything else since "
Hope you're well on the road to recovery. Any possibility of rekindling the relationship? |
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By *929 OP Man 51 weeks ago
newcastle |
"In reply to Jamie Jay, nice couple and mrs whish (sorry don’t know how to quote 3 at once) since you all suggested a similar reason, a few weeks ago something clicked and I felt “me again” I hadn’t been myself for nearly 18 months since I had a heart attack I met the lass a few months prior to it and had a great few months after the end of 15 year relationship thrn after I took Ill I didn’t feel myself anymore lost the ability to care about anything and just felt sadness and she lasted 9 months or so but eventually had enough as soon as I felt me again I realised how much I missed her and can’t think of anything else since
Hope you're well on the road to recovery. Any possibility of rekindling the relationship?"
Unfortunately no chance I held out for a bit as didn’t feel right just getting in touch but had to try and she just said she never goes back. Health wise fine now heart fucking recovered back to the normal range and discharged to gp |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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"In reply to Jamie Jay, nice couple and mrs whish (sorry don’t know how to quote 3 at once) since you all suggested a similar reason, a few weeks ago something clicked and I felt “me again” I hadn’t been myself for nearly 18 months since I had a heart attack I met the lass a few months prior to it and had a great few months after the end of 15 year relationship thrn after I took Ill I didn’t feel myself anymore lost the ability to care about anything and just felt sadness and she lasted 9 months or so but eventually had enough as soon as I felt me again I realised how much I missed her and can’t think of anything else since "
There you go. You had bigger healing to do so you protected yourself from the heartache, your heart literally couldn't handle it on top of everything else. Now you feel better about your health you have space to grieve the relationship.
It sounds rough. Sending hugs  |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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Sorry to hear about how you are feeling and glad you recovered from a health point of view, have you tried reaching out to her to let her know how you are feeling ? Don’t let it eat away at you have the conversation at least then you can be true to yourself and know you’ve tried mate 
I wish you the very best of luck and no matter what happens you’ll be a better person for all of this, we go through lots of up and downs in life all our experiences make us the person we are and well done for actually even coming out and being upfront with how you feel |
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"In reply to Jamie Jay, nice couple and mrs whish (sorry don’t know how to quote 3 at once) since you all suggested a similar reason, a few weeks ago something clicked and I felt “me again” I hadn’t been myself for nearly 18 months since I had a heart attack I met the lass a few months prior to it and had a great few months after the end of 15 year relationship thrn after I took Ill I didn’t feel myself anymore lost the ability to care about anything and just felt sadness and she lasted 9 months or so but eventually had enough as soon as I felt me again I realised how much I missed her and can’t think of anything else since
Hope you're well on the road to recovery. Any possibility of rekindling the relationship?
Unfortunately no chance I held out for a bit as didn’t feel right just getting in touch but had to try and she just said she never goes back. Health wise fine now heart fucking recovered back to the normal range and discharged to gp"
Good news healthwise about your heart not so good about your hearts emotional health.
I know when my mum had her first heart attack she lost all her confidence and went through a period of depression. It's difficult for those around them but even more so for the person.
I think you might need to live through the upset and move on as tough as that might be. |
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By *929 OP Man 51 weeks ago
newcastle |
"In reply to Jamie Jay, nice couple and mrs whish (sorry don’t know how to quote 3 at once) since you all suggested a similar reason, a few weeks ago something clicked and I felt “me again” I hadn’t been myself for nearly 18 months since I had a heart attack I met the lass a few months prior to it and had a great few months after the end of 15 year relationship thrn after I took Ill I didn’t feel myself anymore lost the ability to care about anything and just felt sadness and she lasted 9 months or so but eventually had enough as soon as I felt me again I realised how much I missed her and can’t think of anything else since
There you go. You had bigger healing to do so you protected yourself from the heartache, your heart literally couldn't handle it on top of everything else. Now you feel better about your health you have space to grieve the relationship.
It sounds rough. Sending hugs "
Thank you it does explain it I appreciate you taking the time to respond |
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By *929 OP Man 51 weeks ago
newcastle |
"Sorry to hear about how you are feeling and glad you recovered from a health point of view, have you tried reaching out to her to let her know how you are feeling ? Don’t let it eat away at you have the conversation at least then you can be true to yourself and know you’ve tried mate
I wish you the very best of luck and no matter what happens you’ll be a better person for all of this, we go through lots of up and downs in life all our experiences make us the person we are and well done for actually even coming out and being upfront with how you feel "
I did mate and she said she never goes back thank you for the kind words |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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"Sorry to hear about how you are feeling and glad you recovered from a health point of view, have you tried reaching out to her to let her know how you are feeling ? Don’t let it eat away at you have the conversation at least then you can be true to yourself and know you’ve tried mate
I wish you the very best of luck and no matter what happens you’ll be a better person for all of this, we go through lots of up and downs in life all our experiences make us the person we are and well done for actually even coming out and being upfront with how you feel
I did mate and she said she never goes back thank you for the kind words "
The only other advice I can give with the greatest of respect intended is to simply smile and get on with life …. You’ve laid the seed and she knows how you feel |
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By *929 OP Man 51 weeks ago
newcastle |
"In reply to Jamie Jay, nice couple and mrs whish (sorry don’t know how to quote 3 at once) since you all suggested a similar reason, a few weeks ago something clicked and I felt “me again” I hadn’t been myself for nearly 18 months since I had a heart attack I met the lass a few months prior to it and had a great few months after the end of 15 year relationship thrn after I took Ill I didn’t feel myself anymore lost the ability to care about anything and just felt sadness and she lasted 9 months or so but eventually had enough as soon as I felt me again I realised how much I missed her and can’t think of anything else since
Hope you're well on the road to recovery. Any possibility of rekindling the relationship?
Unfortunately no chance I held out for a bit as didn’t feel right just getting in touch but had to try and she just said she never goes back. Health wise fine now heart fucking recovered back to the normal range and discharged to gp
Good news healthwise about your heart not so good about your hearts emotional health.
I know when my mum had her first heart attack she lost all her confidence and went through a period of depression. It's difficult for those around them but even more so for the person.
I think you might need to live through the upset and move on as tough as that might be. "
Interesting to learn your mother had similar experience hope she is ok now I never expected it to affect my mental health like it did. I understand why she left and i don’t blame her and wish I could have controlled it better. I’ve accepted that’s my fate it’s a shame I met her after the end of a 15 year relationship with someone who first cheated when pregnant with our first child and did at least once that I know of in the following 15 years at the end she offered to get back together but accept there no love ai asked advice on here and it was an overwhelming no for all who replied do I took advice and met this lass had the best few months of my life till I had the heart attack I know it’s pointless whinging but just getting off chest I know others had far worse |
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"In reply to Jamie Jay, nice couple and mrs whish (sorry don’t know how to quote 3 at once) since you all suggested a similar reason, a few weeks ago something clicked and I felt “me again” I hadn’t been myself for nearly 18 months since I had a heart attack I met the lass a few months prior to it and had a great few months after the end of 15 year relationship thrn after I took Ill I didn’t feel myself anymore lost the ability to care about anything and just felt sadness and she lasted 9 months or so but eventually had enough as soon as I felt me again I realised how much I missed her and can’t think of anything else since
Hope you're well on the road to recovery. Any possibility of rekindling the relationship?
Unfortunately no chance I held out for a bit as didn’t feel right just getting in touch but had to try and she just said she never goes back. Health wise fine now heart fucking recovered back to the normal range and discharged to gp
Good news healthwise about your heart not so good about your hearts emotional health.
I know when my mum had her first heart attack she lost all her confidence and went through a period of depression. It's difficult for those around them but even more so for the person.
I think you might need to live through the upset and move on as tough as that might be.
Interesting to learn your mother had similar experience hope she is ok now I never expected it to affect my mental health like it did. I understand why she left and i don’t blame her and wish I could have controlled it better. I’ve accepted that’s my fate it’s a shame I met her after the end of a 15 year relationship with someone who first cheated when pregnant with our first child and did at least once that I know of in the following 15 years at the end she offered to get back together but accept there no love ai asked advice on here and it was an overwhelming no for all who replied do I took advice and met this lass had the best few months of my life till I had the heart attack I know it’s pointless whinging but just getting off chest I know others had far worse"
Without putting a downer on things my mum died last March. Please don't feel awkward though, she was 87, very ill and it was her time.  . She had a coronary in her 40s but fully recovered and got back to normal.
Good luck to you, hope things look up for you |
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Sorry to hear how you feel but also very happy about your recovery. Perhaps as there is no way going back, it is time to just focus on you to heal emotionally just as you did physcically. Small steps and you will get there. Sending you best wishes |
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By *929 OP Man 51 weeks ago
newcastle |
"In reply to Jamie Jay, nice couple and mrs whish (sorry don’t know how to quote 3 at once) since you all suggested a similar reason, a few weeks ago something clicked and I felt “me again” I hadn’t been myself for nearly 18 months since I had a heart attack I met the lass a few months prior to it and had a great few months after the end of 15 year relationship thrn after I took Ill I didn’t feel myself anymore lost the ability to care about anything and just felt sadness and she lasted 9 months or so but eventually had enough as soon as I felt me again I realised how much I missed her and can’t think of anything else since
Hope you're well on the road to recovery. Any possibility of rekindling the relationship?
Unfortunately no chance I held out for a bit as didn’t feel right just getting in touch but had to try and she just said she never goes back. Health wise fine now heart fucking recovered back to the normal range and discharged to gp
Good news healthwise about your heart not so good about your hearts emotional health.
I know when my mum had her first heart attack she lost all her confidence and went through a period of depression. It's difficult for those around them but even more so for the person.
I think you might need to live through the upset and move on as tough as that might be.
Interesting to learn your mother had similar experience hope she is ok now I never expected it to affect my mental health like it did. I understand why she left and i don’t blame her and wish I could have controlled it better. I’ve accepted that’s my fate it’s a shame I met her after the end of a 15 year relationship with someone who first cheated when pregnant with our first child and did at least once that I know of in the following 15 years at the end she offered to get back together but accept there no love ai asked advice on here and it was an overwhelming no for all who replied do I took advice and met this lass had the best few months of my life till I had the heart attack I know it’s pointless whinging but just getting off chest I know others had far worse
Without putting a downer on things my mum died last March. Please don't feel awkward though, she was 87, very ill and it was her time. . She had a coronary in her 40s but fully recovered and got back to normal.
Good luck to you, hope things look up for you"
Ah sorry to here that I should have thought before typing and thank you |
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By *929 OP Man 51 weeks ago
newcastle |
"Sorry to hear how you feel but also very happy about your recovery. Perhaps as there is no way going back, it is time to just focus on you to heal emotionally just as you did physcically. Small steps and you will get there. Sending you best wishes"
Thank you mate you always chime in with nice words or good advice I appreciate it mate you a really lovely bloke |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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When you broke up you probably thought life would be better and a new start for you, but now you realize that it wasn't that bad. What tends to happen as time goes by is you remember the good times together and not the bad times so much , think most of us have been there sooner or later  |
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