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Swing come Platonic
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By (user no longer on site) OP 51 weeks ago
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Is it bad form to want to have a platonic friendship with someone who you met with on here but felt a platonic friendship would have been more appropriate? |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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It's absolutely not bad form to want to have a platonic friendship with someone you met on here and probably already had sex with. However, they might not want that if they decide to walk away from the relationship altogether because they want more, you have to respect that that's what they want too  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 51 weeks ago
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"It's absolutely not bad form to want to have a platonic friendship with someone you met on here and probably already had sex with. However, they might not want that if they decide to walk away from the relationship altogether because they want more, you have to respect that that's what they want too "
ironically I wanted platonic because more wasn't an option but I didn't want to lose the association with that person altogether. Rather had platonic than nothing. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 51 weeks ago
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"It's not bad form at all and quite endearing in fact, assuming the other person is amenable to the change in circumstance and also advocates it."
unfortunately not.
they didn't want to know me at all.
it was quite disappointing particularly since I felt I had a fundamental belief in common with them. thought we might have been good friends going forward. :/ |
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By *ornycougaWoman 51 weeks ago
NORWAY Wherever I lay my hat |
"It's not bad form at all and quite endearing in fact, assuming the other person is amenable to the change in circumstance and also advocates it.
unfortunately not.
they didn't want to know me at all.
it was quite disappointing particularly since I felt I had a fundamental belief in common with them. thought we might have been good friends going forward. :/"
It can be great when you are both on the same page: when you both feel that the chemistry needed for a fantastic sex just wasn't there but you still want to enjoy each other's company as friends. It is harder to achieve when one person still wants to maintain a sexual relationship and the other doesn't. In those circumstances - no matter how sad you are about the loss of friendship - you have to respect the other person's position and let go. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 51 weeks ago
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"It's not bad form at all and quite endearing in fact, assuming the other person is amenable to the change in circumstance and also advocates it.
unfortunately not.
they didn't want to know me at all.
it was quite disappointing particularly since I felt I had a fundamental belief in common with them. thought we might have been good friends going forward. :/
It can be great when you are both on the same page: when you both feel that the chemistry needed for a fantastic sex just wasn't there but you still want to enjoy each other's company as friends. It is harder to achieve when one person still wants to maintain a sexual relationship and the other doesn't. In those circumstances - no matter how sad you are about the loss of friendship - you have to respect the other person's position and let go. "
It's strange.....as attractive as the person was, I really liked the person's soul. It didn't matter to me about the physical side. I just wanted to be a friend. They didn't want anything. They had their reasons of a sort ... corrupted their beliefs to accommodate that situation to protect themselves but a corruption of it nonetheless. shame really. I wanted to share the same spiritual path they walked for a bit. |
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"It's not bad form at all and quite endearing in fact, assuming the other person is amenable to the change in circumstance and also advocates it.
unfortunately not.
they didn't want to know me at all.
it was quite disappointing particularly since I felt I had a fundamental belief in common with them. thought we might have been good friends going forward. :/
It can be great when you are both on the same page: when you both feel that the chemistry needed for a fantastic sex just wasn't there but you still want to enjoy each other's company as friends. It is harder to achieve when one person still wants to maintain a sexual relationship and the other doesn't. In those circumstances - no matter how sad you are about the loss of friendship - you have to respect the other person's position and let go.
It's strange.....as attractive as the person was, I really liked the person's soul. It didn't matter to me about the physical side. I just wanted to be a friend. They didn't want anything. They had their reasons of a sort ... corrupted their beliefs to accommodate that situation to protect themselves but a corruption of it nonetheless. shame really. I wanted to share the same spiritual path they walked for a bit."
You want a friendship, they don't. You can't share the same spiritual path, if you could you'd be on it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 51 weeks ago
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"that's the bit which hurts.
Ah. I'm sorry it's painful for you"
I think it's my Karma.
I was a twat when I was younger. Pretty much did what has just happened to me but didn't give it a second thought as a kid , fuck n go like a teen lads do like!. Was probably my time to have the tables turned.
Just wish it wasn't with someone so spiritually aligned. Never knew anyone who I thought I had anything more in common with in that department.
Actually having ANYTHING in common was a big thing as it was!
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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"It's absolutely not bad form to want to have a platonic friendship with someone you met on here and probably already had sex with. However, they might not want that if they decide to walk away from the relationship altogether because they want more, you have to respect that that's what they want too
ironically I wanted platonic because more wasn't an option but I didn't want to lose the association with that person altogether. Rather had platonic than nothing."
Ahhh that's fair enough and completely understandable. Do they want the platonic friendship as well then? Sometimes trying to cling into something where you're both at different points can do more harm than good, especially for yourself who wants more. It's up to you though in deciding what would make you happiest |
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So you thought you matched someone’s profile perfectly and the other person didn’t. FAB life.
I went for a social with someone when I was on here as a single guy and we had an absolute blast and we hit it off and whilst we kissed we both agreed that we were better as friends and we are.
We’ve been friends for a few years now and we are meeting for a drink at the weekend 
K |
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"that's the bit which hurts.
Ah. I'm sorry it's painful for you
I think it's my Karma.
I was a twat when I was younger. Pretty much did what has just happened to me but didn't give it a second thought as a kid , fuck n go like a teen lads do like!. Was probably my time to have the tables turned.
Just wish it wasn't with someone so spiritually aligned. Never knew anyone who I thought I had anything more in common with in that department.
Actually having ANYTHING in common was a big thing as it was!
"
How long have you known each other?
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By (user no longer on site) OP 51 weeks ago
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not long enough and given the hit and run approach,I would have never stood a chance to work on it either.
I get it's a two way thing and it has to work both ways.
funny how two people can have something fundamental in common but it not be enough to make something of it as a friendship. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 51 weeks ago
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"So you thought you matched someone’s profile perfectly and the other person didn’t. FAB life.
I went for a social with someone when I was on here as a single guy and we had an absolute blast and we hit it off and whilst we kissed we both agreed that we were better as friends and we are.
I'm happy for you both. Envious too,not jealous though, envious. I can only wish for such friends.
We’ve been friends for a few years now and we are meeting for a drink at the weekend
K"
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By (user no longer on site) OP 51 weeks ago
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"Yes different points, different timings. same philosophy though. never meant to be I guess. the gods playing tricks. I lament.
Or just two people who want different things"
Yes. Different things. I think timing was a factor. A lot of unresolved trauma for the other person to work through. Marital breakup and abandonment. didn't want attachments (the corrupted element of their beliefs - corrupted to get through the pain).
missed opportunity for a meaningful friendship I thought. it's not like people share our views here often as it is. a friendship which could have furthered both our spiritual development.... |
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"It's absolutely not bad form to want to have a platonic friendship with someone you met on here and probably already had sex with. However, they might not want that if they decide to walk away from the relationship altogether because they want more, you have to respect that that's what they want too
ironically I wanted platonic because more wasn't an option but I didn't want to lose the association with that person altogether. Rather had platonic than nothing."
It is possible that the person doesn't want a platonic friendship with you because they fear you will be hoping for more at some point.
This is exactly the position I find myself in. A man I had sex with about 6 years ago and remained platonic friends with, has started badgering me for sex again.I have told him no multiple times.
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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"It's absolutely not bad form to want to have a platonic friendship with someone you met on here and probably already had sex with. However, they might not want that if they decide to walk away from the relationship altogether because they want more, you have to respect that that's what they want too
ironically I wanted platonic because more wasn't an option but I didn't want to lose the association with that person altogether. Rather had platonic than nothing.
It is possible that the person doesn't want a platonic friendship with you because they fear you will be hoping for more at some point.
This is exactly the position I find myself in. A man I had sex with about 6 years ago and remained platonic friends with, has started badgering me for sex again.I have told him no multiple times.
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He sounds creepy.  |
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Absolutely not!
We've got a real variety from here and clubs of people we are friends with, would never play with but enjoy their company and people we do play with.
Not everything has to be sexual, relationships comes in all shapes and sizes and sometimes it's nice to connect with likeminded people |
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By *eliWoman 51 weeks ago
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It's not bad form in the slightest - you're allowed to form friendships on here. One of my closest friends, we were originally flirting with the idea of something more. Now we kind of flirt.
His friendship means far more to me than a fuck and although we're quite... flirty with each other, I'm really happy with our friendship. He knows more about how I really feel than exes have. Understands me more. He's also one of my favourite social buddies and I'm staying with him this weekend. Platonically. Going to get my Gatsby on and I couldn't think of anyone to encourage that better than him.
Not every relationship on here involves sex. They're all still more than valid. |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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I’ve made some amazing friends on here - some just from chatting and have never done anything physical, some after an initial meet that turned platonic. I think we can make friends anywhere! |
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It's shouldn't be weird or surprising making platonic friends on the scene. It is by nature a very social scene, so perfectly natural to meet people that you can from a friendship with but may not have that sexual chemistry. Just in the same way that you would make platonic friendships in any other hobby.
We've made a fair few good platonic freinds over the years. Sometimes its purely platonic, sometimes we have ended up playing together or sharing a moment. Either/or the main nature and focus of the friendship is platonic. And that's how we like things free and natural to just be what they are.
And that is best way, just enjoy the things you find in this scene that are good and rewarding. Be it the growth of a good platonic freindship or something sexual or something in between/fluid. If a good platonic friendship works and brings you both joy embrace it, enjoy it. For that is something beautiful and special. IMO it's just another perfectly valid success story of this awesome scene.
Mr |
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