FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Personal questions
Personal questions
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I was chatting to a couple we were getting on really well.
But I found they started asking really personal questions like they wanted my full name which is not a problem but the asked who I worked for and the company name this instantly gave a me a red flag
What are your thoughts |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I said you don't need to know this information they had few verifications, definitely put me off "
People will set the boundaries they want to feel safe. If you don't want to give out information, you shouldn't. It is odd, in my opinion, but maybe they've had a rough time with previous partners. Or, as I said, they could be trying to figure out if your CV suits their job listing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I said you don't need to know this information they had few verifications, definitely put me off "
Doesn't matter how many veris they have, don't give people any personal information. Too risky.  |
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Full/real names are not required for random sexual encounters, certainly not your employment/employer. If it was to be a regular partner, over time of a few meetings, I would expect to share personal stuff like that. |
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"I was chatting to a couple we were getting on really well.
But I found they started asking really personal questions like they wanted my full name which is not a problem but the asked who I worked for and the company name this instantly gave a me a red flag
What are your thoughts "
My guess would be they wanted to check you out on Facebook.
Probably found more people with the same name, so that's why they asked for your work.
Still... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had no idea people typically used false names, is that really the norm? I don't think I'd respond if I gave a false name and would just look even more stupid. |
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I wouldn’t expect to answer personal questions from anyone from Fab unless we developed a friendship. And I wouldn’t ask either. I’ve stopped speaking to people before when they’ve got over familiar too quickly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Had no idea people typically used false names, is that really the norm? I don't think I'd respond if I gave a false name and would just look even more stupid."
That just reminded me of Homer Simpson going into witness protection. The FBI agent stamping on his toes.
Homer leans over..."I think he's taking to you" to the other agent lol |
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I have close friends that I don't know the company name they work it's not my business.
I don't know why an acquaintance off fab would want to know such personal information it's weird  That is a red flag and if you haven't already OP you should block them |
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"I was chatting to a couple we were getting on really well.
But I found they started asking really personal questions like they wanted my full name which is not a problem but the asked who I worked for and the company name this instantly gave a me a red flag
What are your thoughts "
Block |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
They don't need to know where you work and the company name, that has No bearing on a meet.
I'd be very wary of someone who was asking far too much.
It puts me off when I get messages asking where I live /work when we haven't spoken & I block them. |
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By *agnar73Man
over a year ago
glasgow-ish |
"
What are your thoughts
My guess would be they wanted to check you out on Facebook.
Probably found more people with the same name, so that's why they asked for your work.
Still..."
It’s that, some people are absolutely incredible at FB stalking and I’d say go look at your filters for who can look at you.
I don’t know how to do it, but I know to restrict it after ‘friends’ |
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By *an1978Woman
over a year ago
GONE/TIMEOUT (No DMs please) |
Totally understandable if you don't want to give that information.
Perhaps they're not very subtle at the "getting to know you" stage... but it may just be they want to verify who you are for safety.
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"Had no idea people typically used false names, is that really the norm? I don't think I'd respond if I gave a false name and would just look even more stupid."
I don't use my real name. I've met hundreds of people at social events and none of them know my real name.
If I have regular meet I'll tell them |
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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago
London | Belfast |
All I need is: Phone number (to text for meets) name (can be fake, don't care) and a location where we meet. Either mine, hers, or public.
Very sketchy stuff lol
But maybe they just were nervous and were asking questions to stall it and make themselves feel like they ask those questions to get to know you better, without any ill intentions behind it.
That, or they wanted your kidneys. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always ask for your real name, your mother's maiden name, the name of your first pet and the town where you were born.
I quite like to know your bank details so that I can pay the hotel cost if you have booked it, or it may be easier if you give me the 16 digit number on your card, the expiry date and the three digits on the back.
So if someone asked me for those details I'd probably be happy, but any more than that and i might be able to see a red flag being hoisted in the distance (or am I being over cautious?)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always ask for your real name, your mother's maiden name, the name of your first pet and the town where you were born.
I quite like to know your bank details so that I can pay the hotel cost if you have booked it, or it may be easier if you give me the 16 digit number on your card, the expiry date and the three digits on the back.
So if someone asked me for those details I'd probably be happy, but any more than that and i might be able to see a red flag being hoisted in the distance (or am I being over cautious?) "
 No phone number!  |
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"I was chatting to a couple we were getting on really well.
But I found they started asking really personal questions like they wanted my full name which is not a problem but the asked who I worked for and the company name this instantly gave a me a red flag
What are your thoughts "
Yeah bit dodgy. I’d never give my surname out or my place if employment.
The mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always ask for your real name, your mother's maiden name, the name of your first pet and the town where you were born.
I quite like to know your bank details so that I can pay the hotel cost if you have booked it, or it may be easier if you give me the 16 digit number on your card, the expiry date and the three digits on the back.
So if someone asked me for those details I'd probably be happy, but any more than that and i might be able to see a red flag being hoisted in the distance (or am I being over cautious?)
No phone number! "
Damn, forgot that one. Obviously need it to arrange the meet.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes, a couple asked me where I stored my Dremel which crossed the line for me."
Clearly they were just offering to help you out.
On that point, Raven is looking for help with DIY this w/end if you are free (on another thread). |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"Had no idea people typically used false names, is that really the norm? I don't think I'd respond if I gave a false name and would just look even more stupid."
False names have been known  |
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By *1bttmMan
over a year ago
Shoreditch east London |
"I was chatting to a couple we were getting on really well.
But I found they started asking really personal questions like they wanted my full name which is not a problem but the asked who I worked for and the company name this instantly gave a me a red flag
What are your thoughts "
Definitely a red flag....but sounds more like an interview than a chat. Whatever their reasons it would've put me off for being far too specific and unnecessary at this point.
U shoulda jokingly asked if they wanted to know yr salary, bank account details n passwords too  |
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"Had no idea people typically used false names, is that really the norm? I don't think I'd respond if I gave a false name and would just look even more stupid."
I know many people do give false names. I personally just give my first name which isn't unique. If we develop a good rapport, I divulge more personal details. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Had no idea people typically used false names, is that really the norm? I don't think I'd respond if I gave a false name and would just look even more stupid.
False names have been known "
You weren't baptised TinaTitz? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was chatting to a couple we were getting on really well.
But I found they started asking really personal questions like they wanted my full name which is not a problem but the asked who I worked for and the company name this instantly gave a me a red flag
What are your thoughts "
That would be a no from me.
Someone can ask what I do for a living etc thats absolutely fine but that level of information after merely a few messages is strange to me.
If your that worried about someone then maybe you shouldn't be meeting them. You can always meet in a public place for a social
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By (user no longer on site) 52 weeks ago
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Maybe they're just trying to make a conversation.
Being a data analyst many of you don't even know how a small piece of benign information can be used. What one may think is useful information can end up being garbage and what you think may be useless data can be quite useful.
ALL information has value. From a colour of someone's car to the name of a town someone lives in.
It's how the information intends to be used. If it's for benign honourable reasons then there's no harm.
Too much paranoia here. Lay off the fear. The only thing to fear is fear itself. It's quite astonishing really.
Many of you are all smiles in each others company and after that you're all wondering if the other person has booby trapped your letter box or places a UVIED under your car!
It's a bit sad when you all say swingers are lovely people when really there's an underlying distrust amongst one another. Remember, your best friend was a stranger once!
Anyway, personal information is the beholders responsibility to safeguard and no matter how much someone may blame the information seeker for it. The responsibility lies with whomever the information originates for the safeguarding of it.
I wonder how many of you have checked what is out there on the internet about yourself.
This forum post is actually published on the internet....did any of you know that!? |
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By (user no longer on site) 52 weeks ago
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"Maybe they're just trying to make a conversation.
Being a data analyst many of you don't even know how a small piece of benign information can be used. What one may think is useful information can end up being garbage and what you think may be useless data can be quite useful.
ALL information has value. From a colour of someone's car to the name of a town someone lives in.
It's how the information intends to be used. If it's for benign honourable reasons then there's no harm.
Too much paranoia here. Lay off the fear. The only thing to fear is fear itself. It's quite astonishing really.
Many of you are all smiles in each others company and after that you're all wondering if the other person has booby trapped your letter box or places a UVIED under your car!
It's a bit sad when you all say swingers are lovely people when really there's an underlying distrust amongst one another. Remember, your best friend was a stranger once!
Anyway, personal information is the beholders responsibility to safeguard and no matter how much someone may blame the information seeker for it. The responsibility lies with whomever the information originates for the safeguarding of it.
I wonder how many of you have checked what is out there on the internet about yourself.
This forum post is actually published on the internet....did any of you know that!?"
The forums can be read without being logged onto the site. You don't need a profile.
Swingers aren't lovely people, they are just as likely to copy your information/ pics and spread them around as 'non-swingers'. Bit stupid to think they wouldn't.  |
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By (user no longer on site) 52 weeks ago
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"I was chatting to a couple we were getting on really well.
But I found they started asking really personal questions like they wanted my full name which is not a problem but the asked who I worked for and the company name this instantly gave a me a red flag
What are your thoughts
That would be a no from me.
Someone can ask what I do for a living etc thats absolutely fine but that level of information after merely a few messages is strange to me.
If your that worried about someone then maybe you shouldn't be meeting them. You can always meet in a public place for a social
"
My advice is give information to only those you trust.
Trust me ....when you say even giving your occupation is ok.... I've actually advised someone in this very thread to NOT give that information out about them because it gave away too much about themselves!!!! |
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OK well this thread took a weird turn
We sometimes ask guys what industry they work in. Nothing sinister, but we both work in the same industry and ideally don't want to be meeting with folks we might in a professional capacity the next day... |
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By (user no longer on site) 52 weeks ago
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"OK well this thread took a weird turn
We sometimes ask guys what industry they work in. Nothing sinister, but we both work in the same industry and ideally don't want to be meeting with folks we might in a professional capacity the next day..."
I used to work with someone who was a big time swinger at chams and diamonsmiles was a friend of hers. I never fucked her because of the work association though.
we'd sit at lunch on the Monday and not even think of mentioning the playmates she had the day before in chams!
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"OK well this thread took a weird turn
We sometimes ask guys what industry they work in. Nothing sinister, but we both work in the same industry and ideally don't want to be meeting with folks we might in a professional capacity the next day...
I used to work with someone who was a big time swinger at chams and diamonsmiles was a friend of hers. I never fucked her because of the work association though.
we'd sit at lunch on the Monday and not even think of mentioning the playmates she had the day before in chams!
"
Fair enough, but we still want to try to keep a separation between our personal lives and our professional lives, and it seems sensible to avoid mixing the two if possible. |
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By (user no longer on site) 52 weeks ago
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"OK well this thread took a weird turn
We sometimes ask guys what industry they work in. Nothing sinister, but we both work in the same industry and ideally don't want to be meeting with folks we might in a professional capacity the next day...
I used to work with someone who was a big time swinger at chams and diamonsmiles was a friend of hers. I never fucked her because of the work association though.
we'd sit at lunch on the Monday and not even think of mentioning the playmates she had the day before in chams!
Fair enough, but we still want to try to keep a separation between our personal lives and our professional lives, and it seems sensible to avoid mixing the two if possible."
Yes....you don't shit where you eat to quote a rather vulgar phrase comes to mind |
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By (user no longer on site) 52 weeks ago
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Yes I detest it too when peeps get way too personal.... sometimes it's like an interrogation tbh....I've been asked twice here for my address....omg yes my home address....
one fella said he wanted to send me something in the post....
The other fella had absolutely no explanation as to why he wanted my address....like that's just too weird |
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By (user no longer on site) 52 weeks ago
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"Yes I detest it too when peeps get way too personal.... sometimes it's like an interrogation tbh....I've been asked twice here for my address....omg yes my home address....
one fella said he wanted to send me something in the post....
The other fella had absolutely no explanation as to why he wanted my address....like that's just too weird "
what's the topic of conversation then between shags? discussion about PMQ's? |
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By (user no longer on site) 52 weeks ago
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yes.....enormous RED FLAG....I'd just block them if that happens....that is without doubt a potential scam about to take place ....(in my opinion)....mind yourself out there, there are a lot of nice people....but there are also a lot of bad people....scammers!!!....probe a bit....and if people get pushy....it is time to get rid of them!! |
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Yeah I don't divulge personal info on fab, I only say what I don't mind been passed on, cos it will be