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How do you deal with…
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I take it quite personally and tend to overthink why they decided that, especially if they had seemed keen in the first place.
I suddenly doubt how I come accross, how much of myself I should show upfront and how guarded I should be going forward which can alter my behaviour and confidence.
So yeah, I don't think I handle it in a healthy way  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it would depend on the situation for me. If it was someone I was messaging on here or a new connection then I’d just take it on the chin and move on and wish them well.
If it was a long term saga of telling me one thing and acting another (outside of fabland) then it would be harder to deal with.
I generally live by the rule that things not working out with people is part of a journey to happiness and I’d rather honest discussions than dragging things out. |
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By *DW1983Man
over a year ago
Blackpool, Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield |
"Rejection?
Do you take it personally?
Do you decide the person is ‘playing hard to get’ and try harder?
Do you get angry / bitter?
Do you shrug it off and set your attentions on someone else?
"
In the context of this site/scene, I usually approach any interaction with a huge dose of pessimism and assume I won't get anywhere anyway, so anything else is a bonus. I don't let myself get so emotionally involved or invested in the lifestyle that it becomes hard to deal with people either not being interested or miving on.
I can't be bothered with the whole dance of playing hard to get, and to be honest would probably just read it as 'no thanks' rather than 'no but keep trying'.
Angry? Nah, I've got better things to do with my time. Best just to move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Rejection?
Do you take it personally?
Do you decide the person is ‘playing hard to get’ and try harder?
Do you get angry / bitter?
Do you shrug it off and set your attentions on someone else?
In the context of this site/scene, I usually approach any interaction with a huge dose of pessimism and assume I won't get anywhere anyway, so anything else is a bonus. I don't let myself get so emotionally involved or invested in the lifestyle that it becomes hard to deal with people either not being interested or miving on.
I can't be bothered with the whole dance of playing hard to get, and to be honest would probably just read it as 'no thanks' rather than 'no but keep trying'.
Angry? Nah, I've got better things to do with my time. Best just to move on."
Right, My way of being on here |
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"Rejection?
Do you take it personally?
Do you decide the person is ‘playing hard to get’ and try harder?
Do you get angry / bitter?
Do you shrug it off and set your attentions on someone else?
"
All the above except get angry/bitter |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Rejection?
Do you decide the person is ‘playing hard to get’ and try harder?
"
You reminded me of Mr Collins and Miss Eliza Bennet then
"I am not now to learn," replied Mr. Collins, with a formal wave of the hand, "that it is usual with young ladies to reject the addresses of the man whom they secretly mean to accept, when he first applies for their favour; and that sometimes the refusal is repeated a second, or even a third time. I am therefore by no means discouraged by what you have just said, and shall hope to lead you to the altar ere long." |
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Usually I start by overthinking it and looking for what it is about me that “ is wrong” etc
Then after giving myself a talking to I rationalise along the lines of lots of it is out of my control eg people’s personal preferences.
Still not a nice feeling though |
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"Rejection?
Do you decide the person is ‘playing hard to get’ and try harder?
You reminded me of Mr Collins and Miss Eliza Bennet then
"I am not now to learn," replied Mr. Collins, with a formal wave of the hand, "that it is usual with young ladies to reject the addresses of the man whom they secretly mean to accept, when he first applies for their favour; and that sometimes the refusal is repeated a second, or even a third time. I am therefore by no means discouraged by what you have just said, and shall hope to lead you to the altar ere long.""
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"Rejection?
Do you take it personally?
Do you decide the person is ‘playing hard to get’ and try harder?
Do you get angry / bitter?
Do you shrug it off and set your attentions on someone else?
"
Rejection on Fab?
Delete - Block - Message again in a years time JUST INCASE I got lost in the shuffle or they did an Inbox Purge 
Anything else could get your profile banned. Trust me, I know |
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If you mean on here, I've never had to deal with it because I don't have the type of conversations that could result in rejection.
Years ago I've had replies to say I'm not what they are looking for but as we hadn't met or chatted beyond that there was nothing to deal with.
In real life I have struggled with it in the distant past and it caused a lot of self doubt and anger.
Anger at myself though for being too nice and allowing myself to be walked on. |
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On here? I keep it simple. I delete messages from my sent items folder immediately. Unless the other person replies, I won't even know if my message was read. One woman I met here showed me her inbox once. I was shocked at the number of messages she received everyday. Knowing that helps a lot when it comes to dealing with rejection.
In real world, it hurts more obviously. But that's life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being rejected always stings a little, especially if it’s from someone you’re really interested in. I try not to let it get to me on here. You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea so I shrug it off and move on. |
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"On here? I keep it simple. I delete messages from my sent items folder immediately. Unless the other person replies, I won't even know if my message was read. One woman I met here showed me her inbox once. I was shocked at the number of messages she received everyday. Knowing that helps a lot when it comes to dealing with rejection.
In real world, it hurts more obviously. But that's life."
This seems like a reasonable approach. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
Honestly never really had to deal with it I guess I move forward very cautiously not naming the first move until I’m sure it’s a yes , like I’ve only ever applied for jobs I’m pretty certain no one else can do. |
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Usually I'll try once of I get knod back I leave it. But on occasion I have persisted a bit and ended up having a wonderful relationship so it depends on the person I'd say. On fab I simply move on and leave the person alone if they don't reply or tell me I'm not there type. I'd never be rude to someone for not liking me as they usually see the pics like those then see the face and not so much but that's my fault for not having face pics on public |
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By *ary69321Man
over a year ago
Newcastle upon tyne |
I was supposed to meet someone on here a few weeks ago, unfortunately they didn't show, they didn't give an explanation on why, but didn't report or was even angry about it, but I have spoken to to people on here who seem interested, we have a good chat then all of a sudden just block me, it's kinda strange, one person wasn't happy with my dick size, I can't help that, but they didn't have to block me, I just wouldn't contact them anymore. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
On here?
I've not really faced rejection. I think that's because I'm quite cautious; I'd hate for someone to feel uncomfortable with any advances so unless I get a strong idea it will be welcomed I don't put myself in a position where I could be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On here im unbothered.
In real life its a different matter, although it depends on what im being rejected over. Im learning to put things in context, process and move on. |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"Rejection?
Do you take it personally?
Do you decide the person is ‘playing hard to get’ and try harder?
Do you get angry / bitter?
Do you shrug it off and set your attentions on someone else?
"
shrug it off you can't appeal to everyone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you mean on here, I've never had to deal with it because I don't have the type of conversations that could result in rejection.
Years ago I've had replies to say I'm not what they are looking for but as we hadn't met or chatted beyond that there was nothing to deal with.
In real life I have struggled with it in the distant past and it caused a lot of self doubt and anger.
Anger at myself though for being too nice and allowing myself to be walked on. "
I agree it does put self doubt in all of us. I just go well, move on and plenty more fun to be had. No one drags us down. Think positive. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
Depends who rejected me.
Random fab person I messaged once, with zero interaction prior - does not bother me.
Somebody changing their mind - that hurts a bit more, but varies at what stage and how involved we had been. Plus how they do the rejection.
In fact how the rejection is done plays a big part in how it feels.
As for how I handle it all, I might have a little sulk and self pity party but overall I move on quite quick from general rejection.
As said, if it's somebody or involved, well that lasts longer. The pity party happens and is over but can be harder to fully get over.
Recently been ghosted by somebody I thought I got on well with. Blocked on all forms of contact routes we had shared - not a single indication I'd done something wrong or what had changed to result in that. But I did nothing, just got on with it, had a bit of a frustrated vent and rant to a friend so as to not keep the emotion bottled up to fester or to be released at the wrong time in the wrong way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it depends on who is doing the rejection.
People on here that I may like but don’t want anything…meh
Family members or partners is different. But then I guess it depends on what has driven that rejection.
You can’t like all the people all the time
But I have learned that reject me once without a good reason then there’s no second chance |
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"Rejection?
Do you take it personally?
Do you decide the person is ‘playing hard to get’ and try harder?
Do you get angry / bitter?
Do you shrug it off and set your attentions on someone else?
"
Depends what your being rejected from and by whom. If its a date with a stranger from a website... Who gives a flying... And next.
But if it's advances or plans with someone I care about its very different. In that case all kinds of responses and none of them good. It's easy to say brush it off and all that tosh but realistically... I probably start with hurt feelings. |
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I don't think I've ever been rejected on here, however I suppose I would take it personally because I'm only human and I embrace my humanly qualities. I would have to take it personally because I'm the one being rejected and there's no one else in the room other than the 'rejector'. It's not an enviable position to be the 'rejectee'.
Would I be angry or bitter? No.
I think I've rejected two on Fab since I've been on here. It's not a common occurrence for me because of due diligence.
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By *ags73Man
over a year ago
glasgow-ish |
I’d love to be more casual about it, but it’s that sort of let down feeling and I have wondered if I’m good enough.
I know I’m not going to be to everyone’s taste but sometimes seeing a message unread or deleted at other end isn’t easy.
The times I’ve had a reply saying no thank you, I’ve thanked them for reply and wished them well in finding what they’re looking for. But that’s relatively rare.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just move on i get it quite a lot as im older so its easy to move on sometimes if shes hot ill try again but i dont get stroppy.you would probably get 3 attempts but in a nice way cos your a wee darlin.xxx |
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"Rejection?
Do you take it personally?
Do you decide the person is ‘playing hard to get’ and try harder?
Do you get angry / bitter?
Do you shrug it off and set your attentions on someone else?
"
I don't think you would get rejected by many do you? I mean you do have a specific look but your hot. But it's taste I am always amazed what different people find sexy. I worked with a friend in shopping mall and we as men do used to look out for girls, what he found sexy and I found sexy were worlds apart. Which is good as there is someone for everyone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do feel a bit disappointed if I'm very keen on them whether that's a romantic interest or an employer etc. But I know that's a normal response and I know not everyone will want to be involved with me. So I take it like a champ and move on with my life because there's no need to think too deeply about it. I am not for everyone and that's OK.
Now if we know each other very well it would play on my mind and upset me but that's rarely an issue thankfully. |
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"I take it quite personally and tend to overthink why they decided that, especially if they had seemed keen in the first place.
I suddenly doubt how I come accross, how much of myself I should show upfront and how guarded I should be going forward which can alter my behaviour and confidence.
So yeah, I don't think I handle it in a healthy way "
.. . Are you me JB? Cause that's exactly what I do... that and repeatedly tell myself I must be fat/ugly/horrible etc etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Rejection is a bitter pill to swallow - you have to be kind to yourself and understand that one size doesn't fit all
- and if you are doing the rejecting.. Be thoughtful in your delivery |
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I don't really give a flying fuck to be honest. I couldn't really advertise myself any worse, have had some knock backs, smile and wave and crack on. The local pool is but a dried up lake. I filter heavily so it leaves about 1 person per week who joins and is 'in scope'.
I also appreciate I am outgunned by loads of men, by sheer numbers and most who look, dress better and take a better photo and make a real effort.
But I back myself where it matters and that is in RL. I am quick witted, deeply sarcastic but fun in the company of others.
On here I probably come across as a bit of a bellend (particularly by people who don't appreciate sarcasm (most) or are easily offended ).
But as per my opening statement I don't take it too seriously, I think it is important to portray who you are and what you are about rather than play a false hand. Even if that means I will appeal to 2% of the women on here (0.0002% of them will be within 50 miles of this God forsaken place too)
So I am more than comfortable in rejection but don't really message people anyway.
In fact WTF am I actually doing here that adds value?
Don't all shout out 'nothing' all at once. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I first started out in the swinging world this was my biggest fear. These days I couldn't really give a shit, can't be everyone's cup of tea and I'm okay with that. |
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"Rejection?
Do you take it personally?
Do you decide the person is ‘playing hard to get’ and try harder?
Do you get angry / bitter?
Do you shrug it off and set your attentions on someone else?
I don't think you would get rejected by many do you? I mean you do have a specific look but your hot. But it's taste I am always amazed what different people find sexy. I worked with a friend in shopping mall and we as men do used to look out for girls, what he found sexy and I found sexy were worlds apart. Which is good as there is someone for everyone. "
1. Thanks for the compliment x
2. It was a more general question than a personal one. Personally my attitude is “two years in a bucket, mother fuck it.” 
3. Everyone has been rejected by someone, at some point, whether it’s online or IRL. EVERYONE. You could be VIP Hollywood royalty with a perfectly symmetrical everything, and there’s someone out there who doesn’t want to have sex with you. And that’s absolutely fine |
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"Rejection is a bitter pill to swallow - you have to be kind to yourself and understand that one size doesn't fit all
- and if you are doing the rejecting.. Be thoughtful in your delivery "
Reminds me of a song..
"For the bitterest pill is hard to swallow
The love I gave hangs in sad coloured, mocking shadows" |
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"Rejection?
Do you take it personally?
Do you decide the person is ‘playing hard to get’ and try harder?
Do you get angry / bitter?
Do you shrug it off and set your attentions on someone else?
I don't think you would get rejected by many do you? I mean you do have a specific look but your hot. But it's taste I am always amazed what different people find sexy. I worked with a friend in shopping mall and we as men do used to look out for girls, what he found sexy and I found sexy were worlds apart. Which is good as there is someone for everyone.
1. Thanks for the compliment x
2. It was a more general question than a personal one. Personally my attitude is “two years in a bucket, mother fuck it.”
3. Everyone has been rejected by someone, at some point, whether it’s online or IRL. EVERYONE. You could be VIP Hollywood royalty with a perfectly symmetrical everything, and there’s someone out there who doesn’t want to have sex with you. And that’s absolutely fine "
EDIT: thanks a lot autocorrect. I reject you.
*it’s meant to say two TEARS in a bucket, mother fuck it |
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Rejection on Fab;
by someone I haven't even met "face to face"....no real loss there, if I have lost out, I will never know. (Unless the 'veris' state she was a 'Goddess' but whilst I read up everything available prior to contacting -yes, unusual male behaviour- I have yet to read feedback stating her sex was as stale as her boring personality.)
Suddenly being 'ghosted and blocked after seemingly positive initial contact is annoying and possibly suggests a fake profile. As such, hey, annoying as to the wasted time but realistically best just shrugged off as life moves on regardless and as such I don't want to miss out on!
Rejection in personal life. Well, with age comes wisdom and whilst it can be tough and mean some major changes, ie moving what was home etc etc, I believe having survived some drama in life, it's time to refocus and look at those in Ukraine, Gaza etc etc!
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"Rejection on Fab;
by someone I haven't even met "face to face"....no real loss there, if I have lost out, I will never know. (Unless the 'veris' state she was a 'Goddess' but whilst I read up everything available prior to contacting -yes, unusual male behaviour- I have yet to read feedback stating her sex was as stale as her boring personality.)
"
I want to be the first to receive that veri. That’s a veri I would proudly publish |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
for those who cant handle rejection in truth should not be on a scene thats based on alot of rejection..
i dont see it as rejection i see it as choice and choice is what makes this scene so good ....
99.99% of people who contact me get rejected as i only play with people im attracted too .... its not a super power we all have a choice it just seems that most women make theirs where most men dont care
i have alot of respect for men on here who meet only those they are attracted to but men who fuck anything i try and avoid desperation has no place in swinging .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's never a nice feeling but I always immediately let the person be. No insults or questions why etc. If possible and where reasonable, I just terminate all communication.
I'll likely think about it because my mind works like that but will shrug it off and move on. It also depends at what point the rejection comes. Can make it easier or harder to figure out the reason.
Then end point is to try to not let it affect me. If there's something to learn I do and move on if not I just move on. |
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If someone isn't into me then they're not into me.
I might feel a little disappointed for a bit if I genuinely thought we'd be good together, but there's no point dwelling on it or trying to change their mind when they've made a clear decision.
It sucks for a minute, but moving forward and seeing what else is out there makes more sense than wallowing in that feeling  |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
I dwell on it for a bit and self reflect then I put a few bad bitch energy songs on and shake myself out of my funk and move on.
It smarts a bit but I’d never kick off and turn over a bar table over it (for example). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depending on how I’m taking it either assume their identity and commit various misdemeanours around the area before flyposting wanted leaflets around the neighbourhood, or change my name, get plastic surgery and move away while repeatedly triggering amnesia to wipe the moment from my mind and my new life. Seems a bit excessive sometimes but gotta commit. |
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