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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So following on from other threads some people give a generic answer of “clubs” being the answer of single males and finding meets.
Clubs are not easy to get entry to as a single male, most normally charged more and can be intimidating places.
So when I see people saying they can’t get meets is it not down to what their expectations are of this site?
That people will fall at their feet?
That we all want to fuck each other regardless of looks and personality?
That no effort is needed?
And swinging isn’t just about sex?
Honestly when you joined Fab what were your expectations and have they changed? |
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I joined when my friends at the clubs pointed out that I can see what's on at all of them from here instead of just relying on people telling me when the interesting events are.
Unfortunately have to check elsewhere still for certain venues and types of event. But the site has been useful for what I wanted it for  |
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We didn't really have any expectation of fab when we joined, other than we might meet some people who we'd like etc.
The expectations I have now (Mr rarely comes on unless I want him to look at something) are quite negative tbh.
MrsAbz |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Men join here thinking it's sex guaranteed, then are put out when women dare to have preferences.
Also, guys that are desperate, you can tell a mile off and it's not sexy. At all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I only joined fab yo keep in contact with others i met in clubs. I've been lucky enough to meet some great people on here however I use it as a tool to keep in touch with people more than to meet as I struggle to want to meet people from messaging alone |
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I've never had a problem getting meets on here. I had my first within a few weeks of first joining.
Like others, I have had messages not replied to but then again there have been messages I haven't responded to either.
I stopped sending first contact messages almost 4 years ago and I now allow the effort I've made in pics, bio and forum interaction to give people a more rounded view of who I am.
Every conversation in the last 4 years has been started by women who feel comfortable getting in touch based on something they have read or seen
I didn't have any real expectations when signing up apart from wanting to explore what I had previously never explored which was pretty much everything.
I've always made an effort in messages and profile but this is my first profile where I've used the forums as well.
I'm extremely fussy about who I choose to get naked with and I require an equal effort on the part of anyone trying to be one of the chosen few.
Across 7 years and 4 different profiles I have 60+ verifications but less than 10 percent of those have gone beyond the initial social.
I have said no many more times than I've said yes.
I've gone many years without any sexual contact but that doesn't mean I want sex just for the sake of it.
My thoughts about what I was actually looking for has changed slightly over the years but I have now met a wonderful friend and that friendship yields many benefits. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How dare they? Cheeky rascals
"Men join here thinking it's sex guaranteed, then are put out when women dare to have preferences.
Also, guys that are desperate, you can tell a mile off and it's not sexy. At all. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I joined expecting a place where there was information about the swinging scene, clubs, events, parties etc., and to a certain extent that is what it gives. But, what I didn't really expect is the number of people who just see it as a sex dating site. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I didn't know what to expect if I'm honest, I actually didn't have much of an idea of what I was stumbling into.
I had limited knowledge of what swinging was or even could be.
My expectations are realistic and I have none basically other than finding like minded people to engage with. |
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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago
NORWAY Wherever I lay my hat |
I had low expectations when I joined (on the basis of recommendations from people I had met) and when I signed up my expectations dropped further because of the outdated format. Came to tick a gang bang off my fucket list but have actually found so much more and have some amazing people in my life thanks to Fab. |
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I had an idea of what to expect as I came from that Fetish Life Site before joining here.
I must admit, I thought it wouldn't be difficult to find a woman who was keen to meet me, but when that proved tricker than first thought I wasn't really surprised either... I'm still here ladies if anyone's interested 
I guess everything has more or less aligned with my expectations
Aside from the sheer number of men... I wasn't really expecting that to be honest. |
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I think FAB works well for specifics, whereas other sites work well for generics.
Generic dating from other sites worked well enough, but usually came with a raft of other baggage that was off-putting.
FAB works better (although takes longer) for specific wants and needs, sexual and social.
Short version - it's been more time-consuming in cyber-hours, but more life-enhancing in meet hours, 2016-2020 and what looks likely for 2023/24 on. |
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By *host63Man
over a year ago
Bedfont Feltham |
Gave up any expectations on this or any other site.
I would dsy to any single man to avoid swingers clubs for the same reason as the OP.
I use thd site for the forums and to keep up to date either parties I like going to occasionally.
I certainly don't expect to meet from fabs as nice as it would be.
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By *host63Man
over a year ago
Bedfont Feltham |
"Men join here thinking it's sex guaranteed, then are put out when women dare to have preferences.
Also, guys that are desperate, you can tell a mile off and it's not sexy. At all. "
I dint think we mind testing women have preferences.
I do find it interesting that women on here get much more easily trigger if a man dare have any of his own though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men join here thinking it's sex guaranteed, then are put out when women dare to have preferences.
Also, guys that are desperate, you can tell a mile off and it's not sexy. At all.
I dint think we mind testing women have preferences.
I do find it interesting that women on here get much more easily trigger if a man dare have any of his own though."
I have more respect for guys that have any! |
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"When I joined, I was told it was a community.
That hasn't changed.
"
It's a community for many who go to clubs, house parties. social events and perhaps even regularly chat on Forum. For a large chunk of people who do none of those things it's just a place to meet people and have sex. |
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We had no expectations. We made a profile and just put ourselves out there. We discovered the people here run the full range, from truly lovely to utter cunt. It’s not much different to real life. Our total lack of expectations hasn’t changed. |
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By *TK421-Man
over a year ago
Cheltenham |
Well I've been told to get myself to a social/club a lot.
My hopes are to be greeted warmly, shown around and maybe introduced to some people to break the ice.
I'm sure I can take it from there and just be myself.
No expectations.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"…
Honestly when you joined Fab what were your expectations and have they changed?"
I had no expectations of swinging then, and I have none now.
But holy shit, you can tell the people who have been here for a long time, and those that haven’t. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No expectations, came here because of a friend, met people who are now friends but never really knew about the Forum, now for the past year I think it is my main reason for being on Fab as the friends tend to connect through watsapp.
I like the banter. |
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I wouldn't be here if i was male simple as that. I think it must be really hard to send off loads of messages and not get a single response. Having said that i get lots of messages from people who are not local and/or cannot accommodate. So those are immediate nos from me. Surely men would do better if they only messages women when they fit the profile? |
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"Men join here thinking it's sex guaranteed, then are put out when women dare to have preferences.
Also, guys that are desperate, you can tell a mile off and it's not sexy. At all.
I dint think we mind testing women have preferences.
I do find it interesting that women on here get much more easily trigger if a man dare have any of his own though."
I want men to have preferences. I want them to be interested in me outside the fact that i have holes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men join here thinking it's sex guaranteed, then are put out when women dare to have preferences.
Also, guys that are desperate, you can tell a mile off and it's not sexy. At all.
I dint think we mind testing women have preferences.
I do find it interesting that women on here get much more easily trigger if a man dare have any of his own though.
I want men to have preferences. I want them to be interested in me outside the fact that i have holes. "
Or where you live?? I can find 1000s of women local. But my preference is that I like them. and that’s hard to find around here. |
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When I was single on here I never went to clubs at all and I wouldn’t have done.
I made sure my profile had my wants and needs and was detailed. I also made sure my pics were updated and I tried to sell myself the best I can.
I had no expectations other than to see FAB as a distraction and something I could get involved with when I wasn’t out and about.
I done well and travelled over the country to meet people and go to a couple of socials.
Expectations haven’t changed at all.
Put the effort in, you’ll get rewards.
There’s no science behind it, if you apply yourself in the right way you’ll get on and start chatting to people.
K |
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"I wouldn't be here if i was male simple as that. I think it must be really hard to send off loads of messages and not get a single response. Having said that i get lots of messages from people who are not local and/or cannot accommodate. So those are immediate nos from me. Surely men would do better if they only messages women when they fit the profile? "
As I said above I don't send messages any more and haven't in 4 years.
When I did message people it was always specific to their profile and in my head I ticked all their boxes in regards to location and physical requirements.
At most I sent a couple of messages a week because I was very selective. Some weeks I didn't send any if I didn't see a profile that I was compatible with.
I had roughly a 20 percent return and at least half of those were to say thanks but I didn't fit what they were looking for which was fair enough.
The remainder often fizzled out after a few messages.
So just based on my experience of sending approx 100 very specific messages in a year I would have one meet in that time period that led to a sexual encounter.
So therefore in seven years here I've had sex with 7 people, 5 of whom were one off meets and I never heard from them again for various reasons.
I'm ok with those numbers but a lot of people would see that as a waste of time.
From messages i have received and comments on here, other people's expectations of my level of success is totally different.
Some are surprised that just because I am active on the forums and have made an effort with my profile that I have a long list of fab friends, an active fab social life and a full inbox.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
I haven't met anyone new in 4 years, have 6 on my friends list and can often go months without a single message.
Perceptions of the site as a whole and equally of other fabbers can often be skewed. |
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By *lansmanMan
over a year ago
Sheffield |
"Gave up any expectations on this or any other site.
I would dsy to any single man to avoid swingers clubs for the same reason as the OP.
I use thd site for the forums and to keep up to date either parties I like going to occasionally.
I certainly don't expect to meet from fabs as nice as it would be.
"
I will second your comments. I attended quest a few times and never had more than a few chats didn't see any other guys getting lucky either.
Fabs not what it was and I stopped trying for meets ages ago. |
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We tend not to use FAB for 121 meets but as a place to search for socials, parties, holidays and weekends away.
The 'see who's near' on holiday is a brilliant tool as is the forum covering weekends away, and organised meet ups.
As a 121 you will need to take into account that the percentage of timewasters, dreamers and just plain strange people is very high, so accept its a long haul.
When we first visited FAB, we put on a meet up request, got loads of replies. Our friends, already on FAB and a few other sites, told us if we got a couple of good meets out of all the replies, we'd be lucky.
They were bang on. Well, we had 3 good meets and a sack full of misery.
We live and learn. |
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