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Meet locations and safety
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So I read on profiles sometimes people saying no hotel meets etc
I can accommodate but there is no way I am letting someone I have met online come to my house where my kids sometimes stay on a first or second or whatever number meet until I am comfortable with them and trust them, and that comes with time.
When people say they can’t accommodate the natural assumption seems to be that they are in a relationship but the safety issue of any sex or gender meeting people is never really discussed here.
Even hotel meets can be an issue as you don’t know who’s the other side of the door until you get in the room.
Do we all naturally assume we are in a safe environment here?
This for me is the biggest reasons to use clubs.
So for those that do meet what safety precautions do you have in place? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t accommodate for that reason. I’d never have anyone from here in my house ever. I’d do a hotel or similar and would have met for a social first and meet in reception rather than going to a room to meet someone I’d never met before |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never used to worry to be completely honest although always did socials before hand but now I seem to be hyper alert and it even made me cancel a social the other day purely because he wanted to walk round to the pub together.
I've watched far too much true crime I think  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have accommodated for the right people before now.
I am sticking to clubs from now on though, not just for safety reasons but it is just easier. I can do the social bit and anything else we want to all under one roof.
I would do a social in a public place before agreeing to anything also lots of chats etc.
I have been burnt before though so I'm definitely more careful now.
I definitely made mistakes in the beginning. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I think until you actually meet the person or people and see their body language I can’t make a true judgment. Not that I’m judging them, but can’t get a full read on them.
We can say what we want online and portray something that isn’t the real us, I know that can happen in real life with people but I like to meet in a social environment to see how we interact |
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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago
carrbrook stalybridge |
its realy quiet simple
meet in a very public place with lots of people and cctv pub, bar ,club hotel lounge/bar before moving on
have your own transport it you must have a lift send car reg to a friend on arrival send address the same.
arrange a saftey call with a friend pre arranged saftey phrase lets them know your safe or need an out call
and always if you think somethings not right walk away at the first opportunity |
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I'm more than happy to invite people around that I've only been chatting to a few times...but generally a lot have been verified by someone I've met..or I've spoken to them on the phone..to be honest the trans scene is pretty safe seeing as I only meet other TVs.. safety precautions ... now that'd be telling....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think most on here are old enough to have developed instincts about others, and learned to trust them. That said a friend of mine got tricked into a nasty bashing not long ago, and that’s made me more wary since. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think most on here are old enough to have developed instincts about others, and learned to trust them. That said a friend of mine got tricked into a nasty bashing not long ago, and that’s made me more wary since. "
This too.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm more than happy to invite people around that I've only been chatting to a few times...but generally a lot have been verified by someone I've met..or I've spoken to them on the phone..to be honest the trans scene is pretty safe seeing as I only meet other TVs.. safety precautions ... now that'd be telling.... "
Robyn how is meeting tvs safer? Just curious about that. |
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"I'm more than happy to invite people around that I've only been chatting to a few times...but generally a lot have been verified by someone I've met..or I've spoken to them on the phone..to be honest the trans scene is pretty safe seeing as I only meet other TVs.. safety precautions ... now that'd be telling....
Robyn how is meeting tvs safer? Just curious about that. "
Well I've not ever heard of things turning nasty on a meet between TVs where as guys meeting TVs I've heard a few horror stories... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"its realy quiet simple
meet in a very public place with lots of people and cctv pub, bar ,club hotel lounge/bar before moving on
have your own transport it you must have a lift send car reg to a friend on arrival send address the same.
arrange a saftey call with a friend pre arranged saftey phrase lets them know your safe or need an out call
and always if you think somethings not right walk away at the first opportunity "
Yes, that is my way of meeting for a social drink of coffee. Spoons do refil £1.50.Had 3 socials this way. |
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I've refused a few requests to meet from well verified women who insisted on only meeting in their own homes.
The way I looked at it was if they had so little thought for their personal security that they were prepared to allow me as a complete stranger into their homes they weren't people I wanted to chat to.
I didn't consider the other side in regard to my safety because they were so well verified but giving their phone number and address to someone they had never met was a red flag nonetheless.
I won't meet anyone without a social in a coffee shop or public place and even then may ask for a second social before agreeing to anything more.
It's no longer negotiable as far as I'm concerned and it states clearly on my profile that I insist on a social.
By the time I agree to meet in an hotel I will have met at least once before and will have been chatting for weeks. |
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Once we’ve got to know people we invite them to the house but we’ve met them in person and chatted A LOT before that happens.
We are usually meeting a single person so will happily go to their place of choosing to ensure they feel safe.
We were both here as singles so we know that safety and feeling safe is paramount.
K
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By *olf and RedCouple
over a year ago
Nr Cardiff or at Chams Darlaston |
We always do a social first, in a very public place. And say no play that time, so both parties can reflect with no pressure.
We go to a few large organised socials regularly so you get to know a lot of different people that way. You get a gut feeling about those you meet and it’s usually spot on.
Or we meet in a club, which is the safest and often easiest option. Safety is really important which is why we don’t interact with anyone who’s pushy in any way.
Red
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Always a social first unless we meet in a club.
Then I tell someone where I’m going and who I’m meeting and arrange a check in with them if I’m staying over or let them know when I’ve left if not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hotel is the best option, but really...
Are you safe anywhere?  "
Good point.
A nutter is a nutter, regardless of how many measures one may put in place.
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Always have a social first, that usually gives you a good idea of what a person is like. If they can't behave appropriately then that's it (I've had that a few times now)
If I'm going to a hotel, I'll tell friends and keep in touch with them during the stay.
If I choose to accommodate, is only people who I feel safe with. I do the same, let friends know. Other people have keys to my house and I'm not worried about having to call the police if it goes horribly wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s always shocked me how many women were completely fine with me coming to there’s for a first meet, or coming to mine
After a recent nightmare of a meet on here, I now refuse to do anything but a social in a busy place, for both our safety
And it’s always just drinks. I like to give both of us the opportunity to finish 1 drink and say “that’ll do for tonight”. I hate the idea of going for food and having to stay the whole thing.
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"Hotel is the best option, but really...
Are you safe anywhere?
Well it's a lot harder to get rid of a dead body in a hotel...so I've been told..  "
I dunno
Have you seen that true crime documentary Don't F**K with Cats? 
*shudders* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hotel is the best option, but really...
Are you safe anywhere?
Well it's a lot harder to get rid of a dead body in a hotel...so I've been told..
I dunno
Have you seen that true crime documentary Don't F**K with Cats?
*shudders*"
Oh god yes I have honestly that was scary. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My first meet was in an hotel... I took a photo of his car reg as a precaution and had sent the hotel address to a friend - told them the last photo on my phone was his car if i rocked up dead somewhere |
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"My first meet was in an hotel... I took a photo of his car reg as a precaution and had sent the hotel address to a friend - told them the last photo on my phone was his car if i rocked up dead somewhere "
Hi Tracy, it’s an ex post office transit van reg
MUR 03 RER
I’m at the Britannia Manchester Hotel… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I use a safety person. That person will know all the details and phone me and check I'm ok. If I'm not, we have a way of me alerting them and get out plans. And if needed they'll know where to send the police.
It really does boil down to your personal judgement, but the dangerous people can still fool the smartest of people so you are always at risk no matter how good you think you are at judging people. No one is that good.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe I’m stupid, but maybe I’m a lot more careful and a better judgment of character than I give myself credit for.
Also, I’m very very aware that need to be careful and feel safe. It’s very important to me that someone would feel safe meeting me before we met up, and that’s a hard trust to build up, and reasons why I talk for ages.
Stay safe everyone.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My first meet was in an hotel... I took a photo of his car reg as a precaution and had sent the hotel address to a friend - told them the last photo on my phone was his car if i rocked up dead somewhere
Hi Tracy, it’s an ex post office transit van reg
MUR 03 RER
I’m at the Britannia Manchester Hotel…"
 !!
I did a mid-meet call to at an assigned time |
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I meet at clubs or parties initially but if that’s not possible I would do a social. I have gone to a man’s house once and luckily it was ok but have had some where even after a phone chat and video call it’s not what I was expecting and one guy became abusive when I said I didn’t want to go with him for sex and tried to follow me home, threatening to contact my work place and friends etc. but backed off when I said I was calling the police. I now very rarely meet locals at all and stick to off island meet. My ex also acts as a safe friend who I can where I’m going and who I’m meeting etc. and would raise the alarm if I didn’t message/ring by a certain time etc. |
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