FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Lack of site success. Are clubs the answer?
Lack of site success. Are clubs the answer?
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Short version. I have read / seen the issue with single guys being able to get anywhere (it is a swinging site after all) on here so I'm not after sympathy. But how long do I give it?? I have tried everything I can think of. (Not hassled anyone but not even got so much as a no Thanks reply etc) It seems unless you are hung and fit then single males really are outcasts? I'd like to think I'm average, but I'm beginning to wonder! ????. Only thing I'm yet to try is going to a club so if anyone has any suggestions of how a single guy approaches that, it would be appreciated. Then maybe after that this site just simply isn't for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would probably only ever consider normal/average people that didn't wallow in self pity. Maybe try a Greedy Girls night at a club, however it may dishearten you more should you be rejected at such a night? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Clubs aren’t always the way, they’re not for everyone.
Socials aren’t always the way, they’re not for everyone.
You find what works for you. "
This sounds like there's no fucking hope, made me lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Clubs aren’t always the way, they’re not for everyone.
Socials aren’t always the way, they’re not for everyone.
You find what works for you.
This sounds like there's no fucking hope, made me lol."
There’s plenty of hope, but I just offer an alternative to the “you’ll only get anywhere in clubs” line that gets trotted out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Clubs aren’t always the way, they’re not for everyone.
Socials aren’t always the way, they’re not for everyone.
You find what works for you.
This sounds like there's no fucking hope, made me lol.
There’s plenty of hope, but I just offer an alternative to the “you’ll only get anywhere in clubs” line that gets trotted out. "
Tbh I prefer it than any other response. |
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I would say lower your expectations... would you join a dating app and expect to be in a relationship straight away?
So think of it like that really. It takes time and effort.
Trotting out the vwe, super fit guys get all the luck line will never help.
MrsAbz |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would say lower your expectations... would you join a dating app and expect to be in a relationship straight away?
So think of it like that really. It takes time and effort.
Trotting out the vwe, super fit guys get all the luck line will never help.
MrsAbz "
Isn't not getting fucked within 9 weeks abject failure? |
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What have you tried OP?
You’ve not asked for profile advice so I won’t give it you but generally people who put more effort into their profiles and have different types of pics generally fair better than people who only put one paragraph and use book of face type pics 
Also people who look at going to socials or get involved in the forums, or get known in the cam rooms or use the site to look at the different types of clubs on offer and the different nights they hold, tend to fair better
K |
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"I would say lower your expectations... would you join a dating app and expect to be in a relationship straight away?
So think of it like that really. It takes time and effort.
Trotting out the vwe, super fit guys get all the luck line will never help.
MrsAbz
Isn't not getting fucked within 9 weeks abject failure?"
I mean it depends if you subscribe to any holes a goal. I guess it would be classed as complete failure to launch then since any hole doesn't want you [op] to fill it.
MrsAbz |
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Just hang in there fella. I’ve been back on just over a month and I’ve tried to make contact with pretty much every female/couple within 40 miles. I’ve had around 50-60 messages read and ignored totally, around 5 “not my type” and 3 or so that have blossomed into decent conversation/potential meets. I never send a generic first message either, always one that mentions points off their profile, observations from their pictures and has my pics attached. I went to 2x club nights (greedy girls especially good, sex to completion with 4x women in one night!) and it helped build my profile a little especially in that area, even if you don’t play you make some connections for the future and when people see those veris it helps so well worth a couple of visits. Unfortunately if you’re not a 6’5 tanned tattooed Adonis with rippling abs and a sweepover haircut you’re at a serious disadvantage on this site and won’t stand out, But just stay on the horse, don’t lie or try to be anything you’re not and good will come |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
Clubs can and do work if you are a socialable person willing to chat to anyone and everyone about anything and everything….
But like people say, they are not for everyone….
Clubs are part of a solution… but you still have to find a way to stand out in a club as much as you have to stand out in a profile… it’s not a short cut!
I always say if you go to a club go with an open mind and no expectations… the quickest way to not play in a club is to be the person running around saying “where’s the action” or my personal favourite “can I have a go?” ( yes I have heard that in a club, yes it makes me cringe really badly!)
I always say the best way to think of a club is that it’s almost like a social club with benefits… go round,say hello, have a laugh, chat shit! |
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"Clubs can and do work if you are a socialable person willing to chat to anyone and everyone about anything and everything….
But like people say, they are not for everyone….
Clubs are part of a solution… but you still have to find a way to stand out in a club as much as you have to stand out in a profile… it’s not a short cut!
I always say if you go to a club go with an open mind and no expectations… the quickest way to not play in a club is to be the person running around saying “where’s the action” or my personal favourite “can I have a go?” ( yes I have heard that in a club, yes it makes me cringe really badly!)
I always say the best way to think of a club is that it’s almost like a social club with benefits… go round,say hello, have a laugh, chat shit! "
Wow people really act like that? I am keen to go to a club but certainly don't expect to immediately join in etc. But Thanks for the info.. |
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"Just hang in there fella. I’ve been back on just over a month and I’ve tried to make contact with pretty much every female/couple within 40 miles. I’ve had around 50-60 messages read and ignored totally, around 5 “not my type” and 3 or so that have blossomed into decent conversation/potential meets. I never send a generic first message either, always one that mentions points off their profile, observations from their pictures and has my pics attached. I went to 2x club nights (greedy girls especially good, sex to completion with 4x women in one night!) and it helped build my profile a little especially in that area, even if you don’t play you make some connections for the future and when people see those veris it helps so well worth a couple of visits. Unfortunately if you’re not a 6’5 tanned tattooed Adonis with rippling abs and a sweepover haircut you’re at a serious disadvantage on this site and won’t stand out, But just stay on the horse, don’t lie or try to be anything you’re not and good will come "
Thanks |
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Just be polite and respectful. I am 100% average. Just because this is a swinging site it 100% dose not mean that anything is guaranteed.. I often read someone's profile and figure out as best I can if we have similar interests and woild we get on.. I never message anyone with the aim.of wanting to have a hookup I message people that I think I could build a friendship with and that is mynfirst prioritie. Trying to build a friendship and trust if anything else develops then that's a bonus and if it doesn't then hopefully I have gained a new friend.. |
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Try a couple of clubs. Expect nothing and you've got nothing to lose. It's very competitive here, at least at a club you're one step further than ulyou are on here. You're chatting to them face to face |
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Hi OP, have you tried attending fab-organised socials? It's a great way to meet people and expand your social network. I can certainly appreciate it not being easy if you live far away from some of the popular events.
You've only been here nine weeks and this isn't really that long from a Fab perspective. For most people it can take many months to get sufficient traction on here.
Whatever happens best of luck.  |
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"Hi OP, have you tried attending fab-organised socials? It's a great way to meet people and expand your social network. I can certainly appreciate it not being easy if you live far away from some of the popular events.
You've only been here nine weeks and this isn't really that long from a Fab perspective. For most people it can take many months to get sufficient traction on here.
Whatever happens best of luck. "
I haven't but will look into it thanks |
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"What have you tried OP?
You’ve not asked for profile advice so I won’t give it you but generally people who put more effort into their profiles and have different types of pics generally fair better than people who only put one paragraph and use book of face type pics
Also people who look at going to socials or get involved in the forums, or get known in the cam rooms or use the site to look at the different types of clubs on offer and the different nights they hold, tend to fair better
K"
I think there are a fair clutch of guys on here who don't do any of those things but still manage to meet others |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Organised Social/Newbie Night at a Club could be the thing for You !
It's different for everyone ..
As 1 Lady said above it can be disheartening to be rejected at a Greedy Girls Event so if they run it, a Newbies Night.
Apart from that Chap, just keep plodding away and one day it might happen for You..
I wish You luck |
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"What have you tried OP?
You’ve not asked for profile advice so I won’t give it you but generally people who put more effort into their profiles and have different types of pics generally fair better than people who only put one paragraph and use book of face type pics
Also people who look at going to socials or get involved in the forums, or get known in the cam rooms or use the site to look at the different types of clubs on offer and the different nights they hold, tend to fair better
K
I think there are a fair clutch of guys on here who don't do any of those things but still manage to meet others "
What people who make no effort? 
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"Short version. I have read / seen the issue with single guys being able to get anywhere (it is a swinging site after all) on here so I'm not after sympathy. But how long do I give it?? I have tried everything I can think of. (Not hassled anyone but not even got so much as a no Thanks reply etc) It seems unless you are hung and fit then single males really are outcasts? I'd like to think I'm average, but I'm beginning to wonder! ????. Only thing I'm yet to try is going to a club so if anyone has any suggestions of how a single guy approaches that, it would be appreciated. Then maybe after that this site just simply isn't for me. "
Bruv, I’m hung, tall, fit & good looking. And haven’t had a Meet on Fab in 4yeeeaaars 
If you do try the club scene, bring a female friend. Ive found people to be a lot more engaging & friendly with couples |
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I would never recommend the club scene for a solo guy, based on my experiences in several.
As someone else pointed out OP; you've only been in here for 9 weeks. Give it time, and just be yourself, you'll get there.
Clubs aren't the be-all-and-end-all answer most in here would have you believe |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"Short version. I have read / seen the issue with single guys being able to get anywhere (it is a swinging site after all) on here so I'm not after sympathy. But how long do I give it?? I have tried everything I can think of. (Not hassled anyone but not even got so much as a no Thanks reply etc) It seems unless you are hung and fit then single males really are outcasts? I'd like to think I'm average, but I'm beginning to wonder! ????. Only thing I'm yet to try is going to a club so if anyone has any suggestions of how a single guy approaches that, it would be appreciated. Then maybe after that this site just simply isn't for me. "
Pay your money a wee bit more than the couples and a lot more than the women, enter strip off and join the party |
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