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Men and socials and verification habits
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So you’ve been to a big Fab social and you’ve hopefully had a marvellous time. Old friends and new, putting faces to online names, and probably far too many drinks.
The next day, everyone leaves verifications for each other. Your friends feed is just a neverending list of people displaying new verifications, like a gold rush.
I did this over the weekend. And I noticed something. Blokes don’t leave each other social veris.
The women I met at the social have been leaving me them. And they’ve been leaving each other veris too. But the men don’t do that. The blokes don’t verify each other after a social.
So I wondered why not? I mean, I haven’t done it either. It feels awkward if nobody else is going to.
Maybe I should. See if it starts a trend.
I’m asking the question. Guys, why don’t we leave each other veris after big group socials? Is there a fear of it ‘looking a bit gay’ on our straight profiles? Is it something else? Or did it just never cross your mind? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s in case they look ghey 
(Soz Fluffy. I had to re-post that because I spotted a typo and got embarrassed.)"
And now I look like I’m talking to myself  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't really think they matter to a degree, do they? Did you specifically ask for them to verify you because it's an effort to bother if it's not really important. |
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"I don't really think they matter to a degree, do they? Did you specifically ask for them to verify you because it's an effort to bother if it's not really important."
No, none of this matters. I just noticed a pattern and got a bit curious. |
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"Same reason guys whom I happily chat with in clubs and pass a pleasant ten minutes with don't want a verification from me - it makes people think they're fab straight  "
It’s the obvious reason, isn’t it? I just didn’t want to assume … |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't really think they matter to a degree, do they? Did you specifically ask for them to verify you because it's an effort to bother if it's not really important.
No, none of this matters. I just noticed a pattern and got a bit curious."
I reckon it could be they don't want to appear to have met men, but also sheer laziness. I'd be lazy with it, too, but would fulfil requests. |
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Interesting where your mind goes this beautiful Sunday afternoon, RTG.
I think it might be the case where your profile says you’re straight but on the verification summary it says “verified by 32 people, 17 women, 3 MF couples and 18 MEN”?
I don’t know, I’m just guessing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Probably just not wanting to have verifications from men showing on their profile, even if they don’t show the actual post it will still show verified by a man in the summary section
Could be for many reasons: not wanting people to think they’re “fab straight”, not wanting to then get more attention/interest from other men.. |
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"Interesting where your mind goes this beautiful Sunday afternoon, RTG.
I think it might be the case where your profile says you’re straight but on the verification summary it says “verified by 32 people, 17 women, 3 MF couples and 18 MEN”?
I don’t know, I’m just guessing."
Also, I know the numbers don’t add up  |
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"Probably just not wanting to have verifications from men showing on their profile, even if they don’t show the actual post it will still show verified by a man in the summary section
Could be for many reasons: not wanting people to think they’re “fab straight”, not wanting to then get more attention/interest from other men.. "
Exactly what I was thinking. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Should guys verify guys.. Not if they do not want to.
Does it turn out to be you are gay no, veris are just to say you have met and you are who you say you are.
I for one is not interested in all the sex blurb, oh he was good in bed. He had a cock. |
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Yeah, I reckon it's quite a lot of the fear of The Ghey.
But also, with a few notable exceptions, most of the veris I'd leave for fellow chaps would be something like:
'talked distractedly over my shoulder while trying to catch the eye of a woman. Tried too hard to impress said woman, but was a very good virtual willy waver'
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s in case they look ghey
(Soz Fluffy. I had to re-post that because I spotted a typo and got embarrassed.)
And now I look like I’m talking to myself
Again? "
What do you mean again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t know. But I’ve seen and read evidence of guys thinking this place is a race or competition.
And by a few off this lounge forum too. Just look how many of us block men from messaging… you couldn’t give a shit about socialising with guys if it meant them stealing your next shag.
I’ve left many and lots of verifications for guys and have zero problems talking to genuine guys. In fact, I’ve got more in common to talk to them than the women. We like football/action films/women etc, why can’t we get along. ?
A bit of a rant, but I’m right. |
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"It’s in case they look ghey
(Soz Fluffy. I had to re-post that because I spotted a typo and got embarrassed.)
And now I look like I’m talking to myself
Again?
What do you mean again "
Ha ha ha ha ha ha |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I think it's because people assume other people will assume things.
I quite like it when men veri each other and you see a bromance happening. It's lovely and says they don't give a fuck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know plenty of straight, not fab straight, men with verifications from large socials who have verified other men. Some even go as far as displaying them on their profiles.
What do they have in common? Over 45 years olds, often do socials, and not just meeting women for sex. |
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"I think it might be the case where your profile says you’re straight but on the verification summary it says “verified by 32 people, 17 women, 3 MF couples and 18 MEN”?"
"… even if they don’t show the actual post it will still show verified by a man in the summary section "
This is a good point, and something I hadn’t thought of.
You have the choice to not display a veri, but that ‘… and 18 men’ part in the summary could really get taken the wrong way.
 |
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"I don’t know. But I’ve seen and read evidence of guys thinking this place is a race or competition.
And by a few off this lounge forum too. Just look how many of us block men from messaging… you couldn’t give a shit about socialising with guys if it meant them stealing your next shag.
I’ve left many and lots of verifications for guys and have zero problems talking to genuine guys. In fact, I’ve got more in common to talk to them than the women. We like football/action films/women etc, why can’t we get along. ?
A bit of a rant, but I’m right. "
You didn’t put rant alert |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you’ve been to a big Fab social and you’ve hopefully had a marvellous time. Old friends and new, putting faces to online names, and probably far too many drinks.
The next day, everyone leaves verifications for each other. Your friends feed is just a neverending list of people displaying new verifications, like a gold rush.
I did this over the weekend. And I noticed something. Blokes don’t leave each other social veris.
The women I met at the social have been leaving me them. And they’ve been leaving each other veris too. But the men don’t do that. The blokes don’t verify each other after a social.
So I wondered why not? I mean, I haven’t done it either. It feels awkward if nobody else is going to.
Maybe I should. See if it starts a trend.
I’m asking the question. Guys, why don’t we leave each other veris after big group socials? Is there a fear of it ‘looking a bit gay’ on our straight profiles? Is it something else? Or did it just never cross your mind?"
Maybe they didn't like you  |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"So you’ve been to a big Fab social and you’ve hopefully had a marvellous time. Old friends and new, putting faces to online names, and probably far too many drinks.
The next day, everyone leaves verifications for each other. Your friends feed is just a neverending list of people displaying new verifications, like a gold rush.
I did this over the weekend. And I noticed something. Blokes don’t leave each other social veris.
The women I met at the social have been leaving me them. And they’ve been leaving each other veris too. But the men don’t do that. The blokes don’t verify each other after a social.
So I wondered why not? I mean, I haven’t done it either. It feels awkward if nobody else is going to.
Maybe I should. See if it starts a trend.
I’m asking the question. Guys, why don’t we leave each other veris after big group socials? Is there a fear of it ‘looking a bit gay’ on our straight profiles? Is it something else? Or did it just never cross your mind?"
Verifications are a woman thing i don't leave veris either, i don't believe one persons veri would make that person ok to me, ok its a social veri so i suppose that would be ok but still i guess if you don't believe in them you don't believe in them |
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"I think it might be the case where your profile says you’re straight but on the verification summary it says “verified by 32 people, 17 women, 3 MF couples and 18 MEN”?… even if they don’t show the actual post it will still show verified by a man in the summary section
This is a good point, and something I hadn’t thought of.
You have the choice to not display a veri, but that ‘… and 18 men’ part in the summary could really get taken the wrong way.
"
Yep. And I think it still shows the number, even if they leave the site (but not sure about that but). |
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"What do they have in common? Over 45 years olds, often do socials, and not just meeting women for sex. "
You’ve just described me.
And yet I paused before leaving any veris for the guys I had some drinks and laughs with this weekend and started this thread instead. Because I realised it’s not the done thing and I didn’t want to make any of them feel uncomfortable. |
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On a previous profile I had a handful of veries from couples I had met at a social and every one of them was written by the male half and specifically acknowledged that it was them behind the verification.
I didn't have a problem with that because it showed as a verification from a couple regardless.
I also had one from a man I had never met and no idea who he was.
He claimed to have met me as part of a fab hiking event but I knew he had never been there and he also verified a number of other people who attended even though they had no idea who he was either.
The fact it was a fake veri annoyed me more than because it was was from a man.
I've never been given a veri from any man I've met at a social so on that basis I've never offered one either. |
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"I think it might be the case where your profile says you’re straight but on the verification summary it says “verified by 32 people, 17 women, 3 MF couples and 18 MEN”?… even if they don’t show the actual post it will still show verified by a man in the summary section
This is a good point, and something I hadn’t thought of.
You have the choice to not display a veri, but that ‘… and 18 men’ part in the summary could really get taken the wrong way.
"
Ultimately I think this is what it comes down to in order to avoid the ‘why have you met so many men’ questions or sly comments that come up on forum posts from time to time.
I leave veris for men and have men leave veris for me that I happily approve and share. Some of the best company I’ve had at socials has been men and I don’t think anything of it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don’t know. But I’ve seen and read evidence of guys thinking this place is a race or competition.
And by a few off this lounge forum too. Just look how many of us block men from messaging… you couldn’t give a shit about socialising with guys if it meant them stealing your next shag.
I’ve left many and lots of verifications for guys and have zero problems talking to genuine guys. In fact, I’ve got more in common to talk to them than the women. We like football/action films/women etc, why can’t we get along. ?
A bit of a rant, but I’m right.
You didn’t put rant alert "
I didn’t think anyone would read it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like to read veris that guys leave each other, can give you an insight to who they are, personality etc and it’s not just from a woman’s perspective "
 |
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"I don’t know. But I’ve seen and read evidence of guys thinking this place is a race or competition.
And by a few off this lounge forum too. Just look how many of us block men from messaging… you couldn’t give a shit about socialising with guys if it meant them stealing your next shag.
I’ve left many and lots of verifications for guys and have zero problems talking to genuine guys. In fact, I’ve got more in common to talk to them than the women. We like football/action films/women etc, why can’t we get along. ?
A bit of a rant, but I’m right.
You didn’t put rant alert
I didn’t think anyone would read it. "
I always read everything…. 
|
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I used to be on here as a single a few years ago and when I came back I couldn’t remember a lot of profiles that had previously verified me, other than Erect Jim.
For a while he was my one and only veri
But now I think of it, I don’t think I verified guys from a social I went to, although I suspect they were only talking to me cos I went with Bellaseas
We’ve verified a couple of single gents from socials now…
K |
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I’ve got a few veris from men I’ve spoken to at socials and I’ve verified them back . I don’t think any more into it than being friendly.
I don’t go out of my way to verify any men I speak to but if they ask for one I’ll gladly leave one. |
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"I’ve got a few veris from men I’ve spoken to at socials and I’ve verified them back . I don’t think any more into it than being friendly.
I don’t go out of my way to verify any men I speak to but if they ask for one I’ll gladly leave one. "
Does that include a veri? |
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Someone I chat to I noticed on their verification summary a new "meet" from a man
They have now removed the verification summary completely. Doesn't make sense to me.
Like mentioned before if you're at a club I'm sure you've chatted to the guys as well as women. Doesn't mean anything happened sexually .
And so what if it did.
Most of straight guys on here are bi-curious |
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"I don’t know. But I’ve seen and read evidence of guys thinking this place is a race or competition.
And by a few off this lounge forum too. Just look how many of us block men from messaging… you couldn’t give a shit about socialising with guys if it meant them stealing your next shag.
I’ve left many and lots of verifications for guys and have zero problems talking to genuine guys. In fact, I’ve got more in common to talk to them than the women. We like football/action films/women etc, why can’t we get along. ?
A bit of a rant, but I’m right. "
I've blocked all men here simply because I have no interest in chatting to them about football or anything like that. I can do that anywhere.
I'm here to discuss sexual exploration and experiences and other mens experiences don't interest me so once again I'm deliberately excluding anyone outside of my personal preferences.
My best male friend is someone I've met through fab as part of a hiking group. We can discuss anything and everything but neither of us felt the need to verify one another as there was no real benefit from it apart from showing that we could be social. |
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"Surely it would be something like
“Good guy, great laugh, thanks for the beer”?
Why wouldn't they mention the bumming?
Because real men bum and keep schtum  "
I'll happily verify GK as a bona fide top bloke. He's one of my notable exceptions above. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Surely it would be something like
“Good guy, great laugh, thanks for the beer”?
Why wouldn't they mention the bumming?
Because real men bum and keep schtum
I'll happily verify GK as a bona fide top bloke. He's one of my notable exceptions above."
How was the bumming though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don’t know. But I’ve seen and read evidence of guys thinking this place is a race or competition.
And by a few off this lounge forum too. Just look how many of us block men from messaging… you couldn’t give a shit about socialising with guys if it meant them stealing your next shag.
I’ve left many and lots of verifications for guys and have zero problems talking to genuine guys. In fact, I’ve got more in common to talk to them than the women. We like football/action films/women etc, why can’t we get along. ?
A bit of a rant, but I’m right.
You didn’t put rant alert
I didn’t think anyone would read it.
I always read everything….
"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"All I wanna know RTG is, was there man on man cock sucking involved? If not, meh, boring.
If there was, and you weren’t there to see it, did it even really happen?"
I mean, I'll accept photographic evidence. |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"So you’ve been to a big Fab social and you’ve hopefully had a marvellous time. Old friends and new, putting faces to online names, and probably far too many drinks.
The next day, everyone leaves verifications for each other. Your friends feed is just a neverending list of people displaying new verifications, like a gold rush.
I did this over the weekend. And I noticed something. Blokes don’t leave each other social veris.
The women I met at the social have been leaving me them. And they’ve been leaving each other veris too. But the men don’t do that. The blokes don’t verify each other after a social.
So I wondered why not? I mean, I haven’t done it either. It feels awkward if nobody else is going to.
Maybe I should. See if it starts a trend.
I’m asking the question. Guys, why don’t we leave each other veris after big group socials? Is there a fear of it ‘looking a bit gay’ on our straight profiles? Is it something else? Or did it just never cross your mind?Verifications are a woman thing i don't leave veris either, i don't believe one persons veri would make that person ok to me, ok its a social veri so i suppose that would be ok but still i guess if you don't believe in them you don't believe in them "
this |
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I’ve just got that green bar saying ‘You have a new verification’. I haven’t looked yet, but place your bets … is it going to be from a man or a woman?
(There weren’t any TVs or CDs at the social, so we can count them out.) |
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"Surely it would be something like
“Good guy, great laugh, thanks for the beer”?
Why wouldn't they mention the bumming?
Because real men bum and keep schtum
I'll happily verify GK as a bona fide top bloke. He's one of my notable exceptions above.
How was the bumming though."
A gentleman never tells. But top drawer. |
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"So you’ve been to a big Fab social and you’ve hopefully had a marvellous time. Old friends and new, putting faces to online names, and probably far too many drinks.
The next day, everyone leaves verifications for each other. Your friends feed is just a neverending list of people displaying new verifications, like a gold rush.
I did this over the weekend. And I noticed something. Blokes don’t leave each other social veris.
The women I met at the social have been leaving me them. And they’ve been leaving each other veris too. But the men don’t do that. The blokes don’t verify each other after a social.
So I wondered why not? I mean, I haven’t done it either. It feels awkward if nobody else is going to.
Maybe I should. See if it starts a trend.
I’m asking the question. Guys, why don’t we leave each other veris after big group socials? Is there a fear of it ‘looking a bit gay’ on our straight profiles? Is it something else? Or did it just never cross your mind?"
I do if I have a meaningful conversation with someone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Surely it would be something like
“Good guy, great laugh, thanks for the beer”?
Why wouldn't they mention the bumming?
Because real men bum and keep schtum
I'll happily verify GK as a bona fide top bloke. He's one of my notable exceptions above."
You should have heard the conversation he started Friday night about me, you'd soon change the "top bloke" part!  |
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"Surely it would be something like
“Good guy, great laugh, thanks for the beer”?
Why wouldn't they mention the bumming?
Because real men bum and keep schtum
I'll happily verify GK as a bona fide top bloke. He's one of my notable exceptions above.
You should have heard the conversation he started Friday night about me, you'd soon change the "top bloke" part! "
If it involved Hungry Hippos, I'm sure you brought it on yourself!
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Surely it would be something like
“Good guy, great laugh, thanks for the beer”?
Why wouldn't they mention the bumming?
Because real men bum and keep schtum
I'll happily verify GK as a bona fide top bloke. He's one of my notable exceptions above.
You should have heard the conversation he started Friday night about me, you'd soon change the "top bloke" part!
If it involved Hungry Hippos, I'm sure you brought it on yourself!
"
Not this time |
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"Surely it would be something like
“Good guy, great laugh, thanks for the beer”?
Why wouldn't they mention the bumming?
Because real men bum and keep schtum
I'll happily verify GK as a bona fide top bloke. He's one of my notable exceptions above.
You should have heard the conversation he started Friday night about me, you'd soon change the "top bloke" part!
If it involved Hungry Hippos, I'm sure you brought it on yourself!
"
I'm going to leave you 3 veri's one day, YOLO.
You can pick the best one.
There won't be a best one.
 |
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"Surely it would be something like
“Good guy, great laugh, thanks for the beer”?
Why wouldn't they mention the bumming?
Because real men bum and keep schtum
I'll happily verify GK as a bona fide top bloke. He's one of my notable exceptions above.
You should have heard the conversation he started Friday night about me, you'd soon change the "top bloke" part!
If it involved Hungry Hippos, I'm sure you brought it on yourself!
I'm going to leave you 3 veri's one day, YOLO.
You can pick the best one.
There won't be a best one.
"
Promises, promises... |
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"I think it might be the case where your profile says you’re straight but on the verification summary it says “verified by 32 people, 17 women, 3 MF couples and 18 MEN”?… even if they don’t show the actual post it will still show verified by a man in the summary section
This is a good point, and something I hadn’t thought of.
You have the choice to not display a veri, but that ‘… and 18 men’ part in the summary could really get taken the wrong way.
"
Also... As another point, I wouldn't want to know what a man thinks of another man. They don't take the same things into consideration as a woman does. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If a man veris a man it's because they fucked each other up the arse then sucked each other off. "
This is, clearly, the only way the verifications can be considered. The words don't actually matter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If a man veris a man it's because they fucked each other up the arse then sucked each other off. "
Oh so many forum guys have already done this in my head. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If a man veris a man it's because they fucked each other up the arse then sucked each other off.
Oh so many forum guys have already done this in my head. "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If a man veris a man it's because they fucked each other up the arse then sucked each other off.
Oh so many forum guys have already done this in my head.
Some on camera, too. "
Oh don't tease me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If a man veris a man it's because they fucked each other up the arse then sucked each other off.
This is, clearly, the only way the verifications can be considered. The words don't actually matter."
|
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"Surely it would be something like
“Good guy, great laugh, thanks for the beer”?
Why wouldn't they mention the bumming?
Because real men bum and keep schtum
I'll happily verify GK as a bona fide top bloke. He's one of my notable exceptions above.
How was the bumming though.
A gentleman never tells. But top drawer."
What a bloke! You were missed on Friday and hopefully we’ll catch up in January |
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"Surely it would be something like
“Good guy, great laugh, thanks for the beer”?
Why wouldn't they mention the bumming?
Because real men bum and keep schtum
I'll happily verify GK as a bona fide top bloke. He's one of my notable exceptions above.
You should have heard the conversation he started Friday night about me, you'd soon change the "top bloke" part!
If it involved Hungry Hippos, I'm sure you brought it on yourself!
Not this time "
I’m still not sure how your compromised vagina entered the chat, but I’m glad it did |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Surely it would be something like
“Good guy, great laugh, thanks for the beer”?
Why wouldn't they mention the bumming?
Because real men bum and keep schtum
I'll happily verify GK as a bona fide top bloke. He's one of my notable exceptions above.
You should have heard the conversation he started Friday night about me, you'd soon change the "top bloke" part!
If it involved Hungry Hippos, I'm sure you brought it on yourself!
Not this time
I’m still not sure how your compromised vagina entered the chat, but I’m glad it did "
I wonder how..... |
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"Surely it would be something like
“Good guy, great laugh, thanks for the beer”?
Why wouldn't they mention the bumming?
Because real men bum and keep schtum
I'll happily verify GK as a bona fide top bloke. He's one of my notable exceptions above.
You should have heard the conversation he started Friday night about me, you'd soon change the "top bloke" part!
If it involved Hungry Hippos, I'm sure you brought it on yourself!
Not this time
I’m still not sure how your compromised vagina entered the chat, but I’m glad it did "
I've now seen the veri. I feel a new username coming on. Like Jamie and his magic torch...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you’ve been to a big Fab social and you’ve hopefully had a marvellous time. Old friends and new, putting faces to online names, and probably far too many drinks.
The next day, everyone leaves verifications for each other. Your friends feed is just a neverending list of people displaying new verifications, like a gold rush.
I did this over the weekend. And I noticed something. Blokes don’t leave each other social veris.
The women I met at the social have been leaving me them. And they’ve been leaving each other veris too. But the men don’t do that. The blokes don’t verify each other after a social.
So I wondered why not? I mean, I haven’t done it either. It feels awkward if nobody else is going to.
Maybe I should. See if it starts a trend.
I’m asking the question. Guys, why don’t we leave each other veris after big group socials? Is there a fear of it ‘looking a bit gay’ on our straight profiles? Is it something else? Or did it just never cross your mind?"
Well after my first social it did cross my mind and I was going to leave you one but haven't gotten round to it.
I don't think it matters if guys do but some people might. Anyway, now you've got one from a guy. |
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Generally I tend to have an insouciant view of verifications - I am indifferent if they are absent and when they are exchanged I take delight in writing them and displaying them.
I have only been verified by four men (two have gone UNLOS), for indeed I have only verified a few myself. Perhaps that's my failing. We should do more but it has to be worth its mettle: a hearty handshake or a passing hello at a social is unlikely to garner a veri' from me. And I wouldn't expect one in return for such a fleeting-greeting.
And then I follow the Tit-For-Tat Protocol: I have left verifications for men who displayed them for 24 hours and then, to my bewilderment, hidden them for perpetuity. It must be some unwritten rule that I'm unaware of and consequently followed suit and done the same to them. I'm a conformist after all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Generally I tend to have an insouciant view of verifications - I am indifferent if they are absent and when they are exchanged I take delight in writing them and displaying them.
I have only been verified by four men (two have gone UNLOS), for indeed I have only verified a few myself. Perhaps that's my failing. We should do more but it has to be worth its mettle: a hearty handshake or a passing hello at a social is unlikely to garner a veri' from me. And I wouldn't expect one in return for such a fleeting-greeting.
And then I follow the Tit-For-Tat Protocol: I have left verifications for men who displayed them for 24 hours and then, to my bewilderment, hidden them for perpetuity. It must be some unwritten rule that I'm unaware of and consequently followed suit and done the same to them. I'm a conformist after all."
As a general rule...I only display social meets or verifications from a club for a week or so. And as any verifications from a man will only be from socials ...it won't be up for more than a couple of weeks. |
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