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Cuddles in NSA sex
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By *ruceyy OP Man
over a year ago
London |
What's your view on it? If you're meeting someone specifically for sex, NSA, no emotions or chances of 'i think I LIKE LIKE you's...
Is it fine because they're nice and you know you're not at risk? Or is there an acceptable time limit?
How does it work with you?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm a really tactile, warm and friendly sort of person. I adore physical touch it doesn't have to be read into. Someone could literally grab my hand and I wouldn't blink. Emotions are emotions touching is touching. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
I'm not a super cuddle person. I enjoy them at the right time and moment yes. I have cuddles with previous fwb etc, I can do them without catching the feels. I can give them if they are needed by my partner (relationship or not) without needing one.
I have had a fwb that disliked cuddling so we didn't and it worked just as fine as those that needed cuddles often. |
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"What's your view on it? If you're meeting someone specifically for sex, NSA, no emotions or chances of 'i think I LIKE LIKE you's...
Is it fine because they're nice and you know you're not at risk? Or is there an acceptable time limit?
How does it work with you?!"
Klub Insomnia Berlin has a day event called Kutsche which is all about cudderling. |
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I'm a touchy kind of person, if I'm out with friends and we stay over together, always go to bed together and cuddle up.
We always hug/kiss goodbye or hello and so on.
Cuddles are just nice and don't have to mean anything.
"Strokey cuddles" are reserved for those I'm in a relationship with (ie MrAbz)
MrsAbz
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Never understood this tbh. I’m happy to have sex with you, but I don’t want to cuddle you because, you know, it’s a bit too intimate. This just makes no sense to me. If I like you enough to have sex with you, then obviously a cuddle is acceptable. |
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By *ruceyy OP Man
over a year ago
London |
"Never understood this tbh. I’m happy to have sex with you, but I don’t want to cuddle you because, you know, it’s a bit too intimate. This just makes no sense to me. If I like you enough to have sex with you, then obviously a cuddle is acceptable. "
You're in a couple so it may be different but single people, they get feeeeeels don't they?
Not me I have no soul but you know, others. |
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"Never understood this tbh. I’m happy to have sex with you, but I don’t want to cuddle you because, you know, it’s a bit too intimate. This just makes no sense to me. If I like you enough to have sex with you, then obviously a cuddle is acceptable.
You're in a couple so it may be different but single people, they get feeeeeels don't they?
Not me I have no soul but you know, others."
Perhaps. The emotional boundaries in that sense are very firmly in place for me. But the idea that sex won’t produce feels, but cuddling afterwards might? It still doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. Unless the sex is basically a glorified emotionless wank. |
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By *ee04Man
over a year ago
Essex |
I’ll happily go with the flow.
I’ve met people who are very tactile and others who are not.
I used to meet a couple and I’d spend the night in bed with the Mrs who was very tactile while hubby slept in the spare room.
It was all NSA, we all knew what we wanted and agreed beforehand. It was like spending the night with a lover, at first he was involved but then less and less. We’d have coffee and toast in the morning and I’d leave, no issues.
I’ve met others who just want sex no cuddles etc.
personally as long as everyone is happy no problem. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love cuddles after sex even in fuck buddy friend or with benefits type of situation, not so sure if a feel the same if it was just a one time thing with a stranger from fab think it all depends on the person and situation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cuddles are more of a thing for someone o feel close to, I want them to know bc and feel how much they my ram to n mum e.
So, Stroking and touching is more for a NSA thing for me. There’s a line between all the labels, it’s blurred, but there’s still differences. |
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When we first started swinging I would go in for a cuddle afterwards without exception the guy would freeze up and become awkward. The same would happen when we came to say goodbye, I expected that since we had just shared a bed they would be happy to embrace but the same awkwardness occurred. I think it had something to do with me being part of a couple, they felt it was too intimate. |
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By *4bimMan
over a year ago
Farnborough Hampshire |
"When we first started swinging I would go in for a cuddle afterwards without exception the guy would freeze up and become awkward. The same would happen when we came to say goodbye, I expected that since we had just shared a bed they would be happy to embrace but the same awkwardness occurred. I think it had something to do with me being part of a couple, they felt it was too intimate. "
Fascinating |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When we first started swinging I would go in for a cuddle afterwards without exception the guy would freeze up and become awkward. The same would happen when we came to say goodbye, I expected that since we had just shared a bed they would be happy to embrace but the same awkwardness occurred. I think it had something to do with me being part of a couple, they felt it was too intimate. "
An embrace is a lot different to a cuddle, Which I imagine is like a spooning or a real holding each other close (please ignore my terrible misspelled/autocorrect post above  )
A HUG should be easy, you’ve just had sex, how can you not hug after is beyond me.  |
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By *r_reusMan
over a year ago
Coventry |
Humans have an innate need for affection, so it makes sense when you're either a single man or woman that even sex outside of a relationship can become affectionate, and this is perfectly natural and healthy, recharge those emotional batteries  |
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"When we first started swinging I would go in for a cuddle afterwards without exception the guy would freeze up and become awkward. The same would happen when we came to say goodbye, I expected that since we had just shared a bed they would be happy to embrace but the same awkwardness occurred. I think it had something to do with me being part of a couple, they felt it was too intimate.
An embrace is a lot different to a cuddle, Which I imagine is like a spooning or a real holding each other close (please ignore my terrible misspelled/autocorrect post above )
A HUG should be easy, you’ve just had sex, how can you not hug after is beyond me. "
What sticks in my mind is the embarrassed look in one guy's eyes when I went to hug him as we said goodbye. It must be difficult for a single man joining a couple, you don't want to overstep boundaries. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When we first started swinging I would go in for a cuddle afterwards without exception the guy would freeze up and become awkward. The same would happen when we came to say goodbye, I expected that since we had just shared a bed they would be happy to embrace but the same awkwardness occurred. I think it had something to do with me being part of a couple, they felt it was too intimate.
An embrace is a lot different to a cuddle, Which I imagine is like a spooning or a real holding each other close (please ignore my terrible misspelled/autocorrect post above )
A HUG should be easy, you’ve just had sex, how can you not hug after is beyond me.
What sticks in my mind is the embarrassed look in one guy's eyes when I went to hug him as we said goodbye. It must be difficult for a single man joining a couple, you don't want to overstep boundaries. "
That’s odd/interesting like someone said above. Because if I was was invited into a couples life like that, I’d feel comforted with a hug after rather than feeling like I’m thrown back out into the wild, you know? We are funny creatures aren’t we? |
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By *ee04Man
over a year ago
Essex |
"When we first started swinging I would go in for a cuddle afterwards without exception the guy would freeze up and become awkward. The same would happen when we came to say goodbye, I expected that since we had just shared a bed they would be happy to embrace but the same awkwardness occurred. I think it had something to do with me being part of a couple, they felt it was too intimate.
An embrace is a lot different to a cuddle, Which I imagine is like a spooning or a real holding each other close (please ignore my terrible misspelled/autocorrect post above )
A HUG should be easy, you’ve just had sex, how can you not hug after is beyond me.
What sticks in my mind is the embarrassed look in one guy's eyes when I went to hug him as we said goodbye. It must be difficult for a single man joining a couple, you don't want to overstep boundaries. "
I get your point but if someone goes to hug you then it is not out of their boundaries so hugging back should be fine. Or am I making it too simple, I love a hug goodbye makes it less robotic and more natural. By the same token if I don’t feel they want it I’m fine with that too. God this is hard work. |
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By *odevilWoman
over a year ago
exeter |
I'm generally not very cuddly outside of a brief hello/goodbye squeeze.
I think they're claustrophobic and weird.
It's probably an awkward experience for the other person too with me because stiff/awkward/weird.
Cuddling isn't really the issue. It's me. I'm the problem |
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"When we first started swinging I would go in for a cuddle afterwards without exception the guy would freeze up and become awkward. The same would happen when we came to say goodbye, I expected that since we had just shared a bed they would be happy to embrace but the same awkwardness occurred. I think it had something to do with me being part of a couple, they felt it was too intimate.
An embrace is a lot different to a cuddle, Which I imagine is like a spooning or a real holding each other close (please ignore my terrible misspelled/autocorrect post above )
A HUG should be easy, you’ve just had sex, how can you not hug after is beyond me.
What sticks in my mind is the embarrassed look in one guy's eyes when I went to hug him as we said goodbye. It must be difficult for a single man joining a couple, you don't want to overstep boundaries.
That’s odd/interesting like someone said above. Because if I was was invited into a couples life like that, I’d feel comforted with a hug after rather than feeling like I’m thrown back out into the wild, you know? We are funny creatures aren’t we? "
We are. I try (although I often fail miserably) to accept that everyone has their 'thing' they don't feel comfortable doing |
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By *ruceyy OP Man
over a year ago
London |
"Never understood this tbh. I’m happy to have sex with you, but I don’t want to cuddle you because, you know, it’s a bit too intimate. This just makes no sense to me. If I like you enough to have sex with you, then obviously a cuddle is acceptable.
You're in a couple so it may be different but single people, they get feeeeeels don't they?
Not me I have no soul but you know, others.
Perhaps. The emotional boundaries in that sense are very firmly in place for me. But the idea that sex won’t produce feels, but cuddling afterwards might? It still doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. Unless the sex is basically a glorified emotionless wank. "
I mean sex can be an animal act yes. I have to get along with the person but I can do that and then just have 'fun sex' with them as I prefer to call it  Nothing that might entice a romcom! |
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"When we first started swinging I would go in for a cuddle afterwards without exception the guy would freeze up and become awkward. The same would happen when we came to say goodbye, I expected that since we had just shared a bed they would be happy to embrace but the same awkwardness occurred. I think it had something to do with me being part of a couple, they felt it was too intimate.
An embrace is a lot different to a cuddle, Which I imagine is like a spooning or a real holding each other close (please ignore my terrible misspelled/autocorrect post above )
A HUG should be easy, you’ve just had sex, how can you not hug after is beyond me.
What sticks in my mind is the embarrassed look in one guy's eyes when I went to hug him as we said goodbye. It must be difficult for a single man joining a couple, you don't want to overstep boundaries.
I get your point but if someone goes to hug you then it is not out of their boundaries so hugging back should be fine. Or am I making it too simple, I love a hug goodbye makes it less robotic and more natural. By the same token if I don’t feel they want it I’m fine with that too. God this is hard work. "
 . I think that the guys we meet are aware of a couple of our limits and are eager not to overstep them. Its very easy to misread situations. I'm not criticising the guys in question. |
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By *ruceyy OP Man
over a year ago
London |
"I'm generally not very cuddly outside of a brief hello/goodbye squeeze.
I think they're claustrophobic and weird.
It's probably an awkward experience for the other person too with me because stiff/awkward/weird.
Cuddling isn't really the issue. It's me. I'm the problem"
Sound just fine to me |
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By *ortyairCouple
over a year ago
Wallasey |
"When we first started swinging I would go in for a cuddle afterwards without exception the guy would freeze up and become awkward. The same would happen when we came to say goodbye, I expected that since we had just shared a bed they would be happy to embrace but the same awkwardness occurred. I think it had something to do with me being part of a couple, they felt it was too intimate. "
Luckily that's only happened to me on a couple of occasions and I didn't like it at all. The whole meet was very perfunctory, with the guy just wanting to get themselves off.
I love to have fun on a meet, not just sexual fun but actual fun. At my age my body let's me down, so I might not be able to hold a certain position like I used to, I may get a cramp or my body may make a variety of unexpected noises. So rather than have an awkward silence I will laugh these things off.
Sex for me cannot be a sterile exchange of bodily fluids. If I'm happy enough to bump uglies with someone then I need them to interact with me as if they are happy to see me. Little bit of sexy, funny banter goes a long way.
Cuddling between 'rounds" is something I enjoy. I need to feel relaxed and would hate it if the guy was not tactile and just lay there waiting to get his next hard on before jumping on me to perform the mechanics of sex.
I know it's not for everyone but I like kissing and to have a little cuddle and a snog at times is wonderful, if he says something, sexy, cheeky all the better.
Totally off topic but your bedroom looks huge in your pics and I love your bed/headboard, Mrs x |
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By *ortyairCouple
over a year ago
Wallasey |
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Totally off topic but your bedroom looks huge in your pics and I love your bed/headboard, Mrs x
There's still not enough room for all my clothes..."
That's what spare bedrooms are for, or naturism, Mrs x |
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I absolutely love a kiss and a cuddle, and as long as both parties know it's Nsa, I don't see a problem.
I don't see why Nsa sex has to be a cold thing, so kissing and cuddling always has a place for me. |
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I wonder if it has anything to do with the idea that hugs are for people you are emotionally close to, like your family, and not for people you might chose to be temporarily sexually close to. Only in certain circumstances (such as with your spouse) do those two sets intersect on your Venn diagram. |
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"When we first started swinging I would go in for a cuddle afterwards without exception the guy would freeze up and become awkward. The same would happen when we came to say goodbye, I expected that since we had just shared a bed they would be happy to embrace but the same awkwardness occurred. I think it had something to do with me being part of a couple, they felt it was too intimate.
An embrace is a lot different to a cuddle, Which I imagine is like a spooning or a real holding each other close (please ignore my terrible misspelled/autocorrect post above )
A HUG should be easy, you’ve just had sex, how can you not hug after is beyond me. "
A hug should and is definitely fine for us after you’ve had sex with other people it’s the spooning and cuddling I wouldn’t like unless with my husband ofc.. |
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