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When is the last time
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Someone truly heard you?
And I mean this as in when you need to have a conversation with someone and they actually listen to you, they allow you to tell them how you feel. And they actually hear it. They take on board what you've said and respond accordingly without invalidating, brushing it away, or avoiding accountability or just plain ignoring it? And maybe they even say sorry, and work things through with you.
And when was the last time you needed to be heard?
Mine was yesterday, and I think they heard me. Time will tell right? But I've been able to say what I needed to say and I'm pretty good with that. |
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I'm very lucky. The people I care about feel truly there, and any time I'm with them I feel genuinely seen and heard, whatever it is we're talking about.
The only place I feel the need to be heard at the moment is work. And I'm working on that  |
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"It was this morning from a beautiful Welsh flower, who enquired, listened and gave words of support following my recent/ongoing medical woes. Those types of friendships are worth cherishing."
.I hope you're OK x |
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Life’s difficult at the moment but I’m lucky to have a couple of people who just get me on a deeper level. They hear things that others just listen to. I chatted to my best mate this morning and she has a way of just making the dark times alright. |
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Aside from Ailsa - we listen and talk to each other a lot - and one other close friend, it was during the first lockdown. I listened a great deal to a few people, and did my best to be supportive. I’m not sure anyone listened to me, and since then, I’ve avoided friendships that run that deep. I’m thawing out slowly, it seems. Maybe I can be a good friend again to someone x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't feel the need to dump my crap on other people so I couldn't honestly remember.
It's good to talk. You know where my inbox is"
Don't you dare ask me how my day has been. |
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"I don't feel the need to dump my crap on other people so I couldn't honestly remember.
It's good to talk. You know where my inbox is
Don't you dare ask me how my day has been. "
You know me too well  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A few weeks back.
I needed my partner’s support through a shit emotional day. Brilliantly, he stopped what he was doing that day - working out - to phone me on a video call. We were in different cities. He spent four hours listening to me, encouraging me, making me laugh, offering his support, and reassuring me when I most needed him. He’s brilliant and always listens when I most need him, which makes our relationship stronger. I am so grateful for having him in my life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If people genuinely care, they'll ask you.
If you're having to ask them for the time and for them to listen, I wouldn't bother as they don't give a shit.
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I’m sadly a very closed person as regards opening up my inner most troubles to others.
It’s probably not the most psychologically healthy of choices but I tend to muddle on in my own way.
Perhaps by the laws of equilibration however, I am a very good listener to others (so I am often told).
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I think my post may have been misunderstood.
I don't mean just offloading all your problems onto someone else.
I mean .....
Actually, you know what, if you don't get it I'm wasting my time explaining. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think my post may have been misunderstood.
I don't mean just offloading all your problems onto someone else.
I mean .....
Actually, you know what, if you don't get it I'm wasting my time explaining."
I get what you mean. Maybe. It's been a long day.
But my point/s still stand.
I don't have a need to offload or be heard I guess.
And if I did and no one actually asked, then they don't care anyway.
Maybe.
I need coffee. |
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"I think my post may have been misunderstood.
I don't mean just offloading all your problems onto someone else.
I mean .....
Actually, you know what, if you don't get it I'm wasting my time explaining."
I know what you mean. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Costa coffee last week. I ordered three drinks and didn’t have to repeat even though it was loud and busy. She didn’t take her eyes off me, and looked like she cared for what I wanted.
But still - £5 for a f’king coffee? It doesn’t add up ?!?  |
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By *ermite12ukMan
over a year ago
Solihull and Brentwood |
2 days ago on the phone to Vodaphone. Feckers managed to kill my landline. Which I don't use.....but still pay for.
So, thought I was going to be in for a battle. But they managed to fix it. While I was on the phone. |
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"Costa coffee last week. I ordered three drinks and didn’t have to repeat even though it was loud and busy. She didn’t take her eyes off me, and looked like she cared for what I wanted.
But still - £5 for a f’king coffee? It doesn’t add up ?!? "
Do we know you?!  |
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"Someone truly heard you?
And I mean this as in when you need to have a conversation with someone and they actually listen to you, they allow you to tell them how you feel. And they actually hear it. They take on board what you've said and respond accordingly without invalidating, brushing it away, or avoiding accountability or just plain ignoring it? And maybe they even say sorry, and work things through with you.
And when was the last time you needed to be heard?
Mine was yesterday, and I think they heard me. Time will tell right? But I've been able to say what I needed to say and I'm pretty good with that."
This is one of the most valuable things one human can do for another. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been trying to be heard for years and when it doesn't happen, it exhausts every part of you. If people truly care about you they will hear you, that's why I'm now single and won't tolerate not being heard in the future. |
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"Someone truly heard you?
And I mean this as in when you need to have a conversation with someone and they actually listen to you, they allow you to tell them how you feel. And they actually hear it. They take on board what you've said and respond accordingly without invalidating, brushing it away, or avoiding accountability or just plain ignoring it? And maybe they even say sorry, and work things through with you.
And when was the last time you needed to be heard?
Mine was yesterday, and I think they heard me. Time will tell right? But I've been able to say what I needed to say and I'm pretty good with that."
AHA….months….it’s why I don’t really talk to anyone I work with. People will hear me but not listen and slowly I’ve got clues into that fact. So now I just keep myself to myself |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Someone truly heard you?
And I mean this as in when you need to have a conversation with someone and they actually listen to you, they allow you to tell them how you feel. And they actually hear it. They take on board what you've said and respond accordingly without invalidating, brushing it away, or avoiding accountability or just plain ignoring it? And maybe they even say sorry, and work things through with you.
And when was the last time you needed to be heard?
Mine was yesterday, and I think they heard me. Time will tell right? But I've been able to say what I needed to say and I'm pretty good with that.
This is one of the most valuable things one human can do for another. "
Isn't it just. It has certainly calmed my soul just when I needed it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Costa coffee last week. I ordered three drinks and didn’t have to repeat even though it was loud and busy. She didn’t take her eyes off me, and looked like she cared for what I wanted.
But still - £5 for a f’king coffee? It doesn’t add up ?!?
Do we know you?! "
if you think I’m that handsome guy… then yes. You know me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Costa coffee last week. I ordered three drinks and didn’t have to repeat even though it was loud and busy. She didn’t take her eyes off me, and looked like she cared for what I wanted.
But still - £5 for a f’king coffee? It doesn’t add up ?!?
Do we know you?!
if you think I’m that handsome guy… then yes. You know me "
You're not that annoying guy that uses the phrase "sexy sex" are you? |
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"Costa coffee last week. I ordered three drinks and didn’t have to repeat even though it was loud and busy. She didn’t take her eyes off me, and looked like she cared for what I wanted.
But still - £5 for a f’king coffee? It doesn’t add up ?!?
Do we know you?!
if you think I’m that handsome guy… then yes. You know me
You're not that annoying guy that uses the phrase "sexy sex" are you?"
Sexy sex is a phrase….one ew two since when |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Costa coffee last week. I ordered three drinks and didn’t have to repeat even though it was loud and busy. She didn’t take her eyes off me, and looked like she cared for what I wanted.
But still - £5 for a f’king coffee? It doesn’t add up ?!?
Do we know you?!
if you think I’m that handsome guy… then yes. You know me
You're not that annoying guy that uses the phrase "sexy sex" are you?"
……… erm…. I don’t know where to go with this. You killed me in the 1st line. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"If people genuinely care, they'll ask you.
If you're having to ask them for the time and for them to listen, I wouldn't bother as they don't give a shit.
"
I think that’s mostly true, but sone people are good at hiding, under communicating or appearing fine.
My issue is fixers, you barely open your mouth and their eyes light up & little brains are whizzing around before telling you what to do rather than actually listening
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"Costa coffee last week. I ordered three drinks and didn’t have to repeat even though it was loud and busy. She didn’t take her eyes off me, and looked like she cared for what I wanted.
But still - £5 for a f’king coffee? It doesn’t add up ?!?
Do we know you?!
if you think I’m that handsome guy… then yes. You know me "
Hmmmmm, maybe someone else then 
Do you have any cake? |
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"Costa coffee last week. I ordered three drinks and didn’t have to repeat even though it was loud and busy. She didn’t take her eyes off me, and looked like she cared for what I wanted.
But still - £5 for a f’king coffee? It doesn’t add up ?!?
Do we know you?!
if you think I’m that handsome guy… then yes. You know me
Hmmmmm, maybe someone else then
Do you have any cake?"
Cake!?!? |
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"Costa coffee last week. I ordered three drinks and didn’t have to repeat even though it was loud and busy. She didn’t take her eyes off me, and looked like she cared for what I wanted.
But still - £5 for a f’king coffee? It doesn’t add up ?!?
Do we know you?!
if you think I’m that handsome guy… then yes. You know me
Hmmmmm, maybe someone else then
Do you have any cake?
Cake!?!?"
Woody is a well known purveyor of cake  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Costa coffee last week. I ordered three drinks and didn’t have to repeat even though it was loud and busy. She didn’t take her eyes off me, and looked like she cared for what I wanted.
But still - £5 for a f’king coffee? It doesn’t add up ?!?
Do we know you?!
if you think I’m that handsome guy… then yes. You know me
Hmmmmm, maybe someone else then
Do you have any cake?"
It seems I do, but also only when there’s a crowd |
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I've always been good at being the person who hears others and helps them through difficult times.
I've never been great at expressing my own need to be heard at times but thankfully there are people who didn't need me to verbalise it. They just knew.
Even now, my best friend, who just happens to be on here too and will be reading this at some stage, hears me when I need to be heard and I hear her and we never have to apologise to each other for needing to be heard. |
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I've been exceptionally fortunate to have met some people in my life recently, whom I can say this quality is there.
So many seem content to fabricate whatever narrative suits their agenda. Rather than taking the time to truly hear what a person has to say.
I find quite saddening that it's something revered - due to its sparsity - rather than a social norm.
I am quite intent on not wasting my energy on those whom lack empathy and cannot respect my autonomy of mind. |
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I honestly can't remember.
Having this issue at the moment and it's something I feel strongly for and refuse to have it brushed away.
I find people not listening is an issue in general and during conversations I find it easier to just nod, say little.
In my experience people hear you but they don't listen |
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