FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Can you just be friends after sex?
Can you just be friends after sex?
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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
I was watching something gotta give last night and there when nicholson talked to diane on the scene, they talked a little about it, they werent so sure by the sound of it.
What is your view shout it? I would agree with them that it would be very hard to let go of the sexual ffeelings for eachother after having sex together to just hang out as friends and maybe not to have sex anymore  |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
It’s usually quite hard even impossible for one of you especially at first.
But long-term yes, if you care about each other, there wasn’t any betrayal and both truly value the friendship, rather than one of you just hoping you will get back together |
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Not difficult at all, I’m friends with lots of people I’ve had sex with. I think it has a lot to do with how you view the people you have sex with, are they sexual objects or are they people?
Mr DD |
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Yes I do believe you can be. Of course it depends on the relationship you have.
Life isn't all about sex, and people need to get on more with each other better, sure you may never be best friends but there is no need for not being friendly with each other. |
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Yes. We started as sexual partners and are more compatible as just friends, it did take a lot of work from both of us to get over the sexual incompatibility side, but we made it to a platonic friendship with no sexual physical contact at all |
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"Not difficult at all, I’m friends with lots of people I’ve had sex with. I think it has a lot to do with how you view the people you have sex with, are they sexual objects or are they people?
Mr DD"
I don't think not hanging out with someone you've previously had sex with means you view them as nothing more than a sexual object |
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It's not difficult at all. I'm friends with a few women that I met through dating, had sex with while we went on initial dates but then realised we weren't right as a couple but stayed friends instead. As long as I didn't develop unrequited feelings for the other person, the fact that I've had sex with them doesn't make a difference to me wanting to hang out with them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you're both on the same page then yes you can. If one of you is still hoping it will happen again, its not going to end well."
I agree… all depends on how you envisage the first meet and your expectations thereafter..
Can be as easy or as complicated as you make it |
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"Not difficult at all, I’m friends with lots of people I’ve had sex with. I think it has a lot to do with how you view the people you have sex with, are they sexual objects or are they people?
Mr DD
I don't think not hanging out with someone you've previously had sex with means you view them as nothing more than a sexual object "
I’m not saying it does for everyone but there is a sizeable chunk of men especially, who see women as people to have sex with, not be friends with. |
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By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago
Deepest darkest Peru |
It’s situational I think. Some people I would not remain friends with as they’d treated me badly but there are some where I care about our friendship and will always have time for them x |
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Yes. My best friend in the entire universe apart from E.T. is someone I met for sex 14 years ago and we are staunch friends who see each other regularly but we are no longer sexual with each other. |
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I've come back to this because to me ....... it's more to do with how you view sex in the first place than anything else.
Those who have grasped/taken on board that sex is simply a human function or a human need and that is isn't necessary to be married or be jealous or possess or lay down all the rules that go with societally constructed institutions and associated behaviours are more at ease with the place of sex in their lives.
Sex has been given far to high a profile in matters.. and it is guarded jealously in many ways.
Those adhering to the above will stand little chance in friendship outside of sex as that is how they view the opposite sex .... whether they know it or not.
Just for sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As long as your both clear what you want then yes it’s manageable.
It’s just about being honest and clear about what you both want, if you’re not then it gets awkward and can ruin a friendship yes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Of course it's possible, I've a couple of good friends who I've had sex with and we're great mates without it being repeated. One I've stayed at her place a few times without anything happening again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I guess it depends on how deep the feelings are but it’s possible, I’ve managed to do it. "
So you think if the feelings are too intense you can't be friends? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I guess it depends on how deep the feelings are but it’s possible, I’ve managed to do it.
So you think if the feelings are too intense you can't be friends?"
You can still be friends but if you have those intense feelings for each other is it really just friends? Or is one person hoping for something more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I guess it depends on how deep the feelings are but it’s possible, I’ve managed to do it.
So you think if the feelings are too intense you can't be friends?
You can still be friends but if you have those intense feelings for each other is it really just friends? Or is one person hoping for something more. "
I'm in a situation where I want to be friends but for them, they can't be friends. Its very hard to understand why  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can I be friends before sex, sure it makes better sex. Can I be friends after depends on how I establish my friendahip.it deoends how you get on with each other.
Ive met half a dozen in a decade its called quality people I chatted with got on with met and were friends at the time. Folks move on though. Things get in the way.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I guess it depends on how deep the feelings are but it’s possible, I’ve managed to do it.
So you think if the feelings are too intense you can't be friends?
You can still be friends but if you have those intense feelings for each other is it really just friends? Or is one person hoping for something more.
I'm in a situation where I want to be friends but for them, they can't be friends. Its very hard to understand why "
I think for some people it’s really difficult to put the feelings they have aside and settle for being just friends. I’m sorry, it’s an awful situation to be in, especially if you still want that person in your life  |
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I remember watching this scene and thinking 'what a load of Hollywood nonsense' at the time.
Of course you can be friends. In ancient societies sex between friends was very common. Actually, you're much more likely to have sex with friends than anyone else - just make sure you're all on the same page and talk to each other honestly. |
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You both have to be on the same page but hell yes. I knobbed my closest male friend and we laughed about it afterwards and agreed that we would never do that again. Now we are 100% platonic and really close. |
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By *arl17Man
over a year ago
Central Portugal |
"Of course it's possible, I've a couple of good friends who I've had sex with and we're great mates without it being repeated. One I've stayed at her place a few times without anything happening again. "
Easy...totally agree  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Yes you can be. If you're both open and honest with each other, can navigate feelings, it's doable.
There are times when it won't work. I quite like a close friend. I know he likes me too. But I also know that right now it would be an utter disaster. So, I'm sticking to our friendship because that's the most important thing to me. He's been there for me through a lot of things. And vice versa.
It's not worth throwing that away for a quick fumble. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was watching something gotta give last night and there when nicholson talked to diane on the scene, they talked a little about it, they werent so sure by the sound of it.
What is your view shout it? I would agree with them that it would be very hard to let go of the sexual ffeelings for eachother after having sex together to just hang out as friends and maybe not to have sex anymore "
That’s happened to me in two marriages now lol
No sex but my very best friend |
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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
"Can I be friends before sex, sure it makes better sex. Can I be friends after depends on how I establish my friendahip.it deoends how you get on with each other.
Ive met half a dozen in a decade its called quality people I chatted with got on with met and were friends at the time. Folks move on though. Things get in the way.
"
Hi becs and yes, those are good examples of before and after and yes, it also depends how you get on with eachother too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's not the sex that ruins a friendship, it's when an emotional connection forms that is above friendship, and makes it difficult to go back.
It's all a bit of a minefield. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not in my experiences, I had a friend with benefits that turned into something serious because the sex wasn't enough or so we thought. The relationship turned into a train wreck rather quickly so we decided to just be friends again, after ending up having sex again and again we found we were using each other as emotional crutches and rather than try finding new meaningful relationships we just ended up having sex because it was easy but when it eventually ended it wasn't good and we ended up hurting each other to the point were we couldn't be together in any context. |
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By *riel13Woman
over a year ago
Northampton |
I have a few friends that I have had sex with... Some I have repeated the experience with some I haven't but we are friends above everything and there is no awkwardness or anything when we spend time together  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve had sex with someone, found them hot before sex, but sadly never wanted to have sex with them again. They are far too vanilla for me, and sexually we are just too different. Brilliant person. We have a great laugh together as friends. We remain friends never snogging, or shagging since that first time again but friends nonetheless. |
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"It's not the sex that ruins a friendship, it's when an emotional connection forms that is above friendship, and makes it difficult to go back.
It's all a bit of a minefield."
This. Friends after casual sex - yes. Friends after a real relationship - much harder and I've never managed it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yep. I have former play partners I'm still friends with. I had dinner today with a couple and an ex couple who are still good friends and in business together.
As others have said, it ultimately depends on your specific dynamic and if there was a solid friendship there, as well as the sex, in the first place. |
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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
"I was watching something gotta give last night and there when nicholson talked to diane on the scene, they talked a little about it, they werent so sure by the sound of it.
What is your view shout it? I would agree with them that it would be very hard to let go of the sexual ffeelings for eachother after having sex together to just hang out as friends and maybe not to have sex anymore "
Of course. I've had sex with most of my male friends at some point in time but we remain friends with nothing "weird" and no "expectation" that any or every time we meet, it would lead to sex. Society makes sex too fucking taboo. Sex to me is like sharing a pint with a mate, good fun but not "binding" in any way. |
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"I was watching something gotta give last night and there when nicholson talked to diane on the scene, they talked a little about it, they werent so sure by the sound of it.
What is your view shout it? I would agree with them that it would be very hard to let go of the sexual ffeelings for eachother after having sex together to just hang out as friends and maybe not to have sex anymore "
This happens all the time in the swinging world within circles of friends. Might have sex once or twice at a party or gathering and then just see eachother elsewhere later as friends but not do anything as both busy elsewhere. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was watching something gotta give last night and there when nicholson talked to diane on the scene, they talked a little about it, they werent so sure by the sound of it.
What is your view shout it? I would agree with them that it would be very hard to let go of the sexual ffeelings for eachother after having sex together to just hang out as friends and maybe not to have sex anymore
Of course. I've had sex with most of my male friends at some point in time but we remain friends with nothing "weird" and no "expectation" that any or every time we meet, it would lead to sex. Society makes sex too fucking taboo. Sex to me is like sharing a pint with a mate, good fun but not "binding" in any way."
Fancy grabbing a pint mate haha |
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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago
London | Belfast |
"I was watching something gotta give last night and there when nicholson talked to diane on the scene, they talked a little about it, they werent so sure by the sound of it.
What is your view shout it? I would agree with them that it would be very hard to let go of the sexual ffeelings for eachother after having sex together to just hang out as friends and maybe not to have sex anymore "
Sure, you can bang without wanting to be a couple. Romance is not the same as sexual desire.
You can even have regular sex with someone, without any feelings, and without getting along great while talking. |
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Surely it depends on the two parties? One may be fine with it while the other may not.
Few relationships end mutually. Surely then one person could very easily still have feelings of sexual attraction - how then can that couple remain just friends?
This is a forum on a swinger website, so obviously considering the membership of primarily polyamorous people, approaches to relationships will likely be different from "the norm"? |
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By *batMan
over a year ago
Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales) |
My latest pics were taken by a friend who I've had sex with a few times. We know each other from the vanilla world anyway, and now she has a new boyfriend who doesn't swing.
She was kind enough to do the pics for me but got no more involved than that.
Gbat |
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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago
milton keynes |
"I was watching something gotta give last night and there when nicholson talked to diane on the scene, they talked a little about it, they werent so sure by the sound of it.
What is your view shout it? I would agree with them that it would be very hard to let go of the sexual ffeelings for eachother after having sex together to just hang out as friends and maybe not to have sex anymore "
Aahh that's cute |
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Very easily done. Just gotta be open and honest from the jump if you pardon the pun. Got friends that I’ve fucked before becoming friends and friends I’ve fucked after that I’m still friends with whether we fuck or not.
Still friends with a few ex’s that were genuine girlfriends and not just FWB’s.
The problem is only there when you lie to get sex. I’d rather not have sex than lie and tell someone what I think they want to hear. That’s not a friend IMO. |
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Someone could be having a real shitty day and they just need their fanny rubbed.
I think it would be wrong if I didn’t say come here. Give em a hug a nice fanny rub a chat and a nice hot cup of tea. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was watching something gotta give last night and there when nicholson talked to diane on the scene, they talked a little about it, they werent so sure by the sound of it.
What is your view shout it? I would agree with them that it would be very hard to let go of the sexual ffeelings for eachother after having sex together to just hang out as friends and maybe not to have sex anymore "
Outlook.. Shag n go.
Shag continously with nsa
Shag turns into feelings.. Your choice what shag you have Shag |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absolutely. A endless amount of circumstances as to why the sex has happened. I’m still friends and good friend's at that with many people I have slept with outside of fab. Even on fab there are people I stay in touch with and would call them a friend |
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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
"I was watching something gotta give last night and there when nicholson talked to diane on the scene, they talked a little about it, they werent so sure by the sound of it.
What is your view shout it? I would agree with them that it would be very hard to let go of the sexual ffeelings for eachother after having sex together to just hang out as friends and maybe not to have sex anymore
Outlook.. Shag n go.
Shag continously with nsa
Shag turns into feelings.. Your choice what shag you have Shag "
Hi becks and yes, it depends on what choice too |
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