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Sell yourself ….
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I want your best advertisement of yourself …. 
Give us all your good features and benefits  
But also please disclose anything that’s not so good or anything that’s to be aware of
Basically like a car sales pitch
Classic motor
Good paintwork (few scratches /dints )
Good engine (goes for miles )
Few miles on the clock 
You know the sort of thing 
Right here goes mine
Athletic build
Strong hands
Blue eyed
Quality banter and solid boner
And top notch kisser
Here for limited time (due to working away)
Slight thinning of hair
Has a hairy arse
Real lightweight drinker  |
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By *G TMan
over a year ago
birmingham |
"I want your best advertisement of yourself ….
Give us all your good features and benefits
But also please disclose anything that’s not so good or anything that’s to be aware of
Basically like a car sales pitch
Classic motor
Good paintwork (few scratches /dints )
Good engine (goes for miles )
Few miles on the clock
You know the sort of thing
Right here goes mine
Athletic build
Strong hands
Blue eyed
Quality banter and solid boner
And top notch kisser
Here for limited time (due to working away)
Slight thinning of hair
Has a hairy arse
Real lightweight drinker "
I’m not bi but I’m sold Lool |
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"I'm not writing another profile pal, that fucker took years as is
Fucking hell, quite the length you have there CD. Not surprised."
I didn't see that coming and I don't know why.
Be smug, you got me with that one  |
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"Lumpy, bumpy, misanthropic entitled stuck up bitch. Will swap for a biscuit (then give you the biscuit as thanks for taking her off my fucking hands)"
At this point in time, I'm quite willing to take anything in exchange for a biscuit. It seems a fair deal to me... I get to keep the biscuit, right?
MrsAbz |
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I couldn't even do this properly on my own profile, never mind a forum thread lol
Okay.
Irish man(some women like the accent)
Own teeth(what's left of them)
Shaven head(hair stopped growing years ago)
Athletic build(sofa surfing is an event, right?)
I have the Goldilocks of cocks(not too big, not too small)
I'm told I'm funny(looking)
I'm ambitious(hoping for at least 1 shag eventually)
I'm easy going and can get on with most people(but can't get off with anyone these days)
I have a big heart 
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"Lumpy, bumpy, misanthropic entitled stuck up bitch. Will swap for a biscuit (then give you the biscuit as thanks for taking her off my fucking hands)
At this point in time, I'm quite willing to take anything in exchange for a biscuit. It seems a fair deal to me... I get to keep the biscuit, right?
MrsAbz "
Surely this completely depends on what kind of biscuits are on offer  |
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"Lumpy, bumpy, misanthropic entitled stuck up bitch. Will swap for a biscuit (then give you the biscuit as thanks for taking her off my fucking hands)
At this point in time, I'm quite willing to take anything in exchange for a biscuit. It seems a fair deal to me... I get to keep the biscuit, right?
MrsAbz
Surely this completely depends on what kind of biscuits are on offer "
What you offering? Must have chocolate coating to be considered.
MrsAbz
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I'm not writing another profile pal, that fucker took years as is
Fucking hell, quite the length you have there CD. Not surprised.
I didn't see that coming and I don't know why.
Be smug, you got me with that one "
Yay! |
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"I'm not writing another profile pal, that fucker took years as is "
I totally loved reading your profile. Most interesting one for an absolute age. Diolch yn fawr xxx. (My welsh is very limited but from Caerphilly I’m guessing your’s is not that grand either). |
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"I make a good coffee.
That's all I got.
Oh and I have the tits.
Mrs "
I make drinkable coffee. At least it's not poisonous. And I have the tits. Several sets of them, I keep them in the wardrobe when they're not snuggled inside my bra. |
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Looks like a lemon, but...
-Surprise under the hood
-6" special bronze piston
(Piston need some polishing)
-Turbo injector (Timing might be off at first, but it will be sorted after a few ride)
-Don't need an alarm (Who steals a lemon?)
-Hardly used in the last 9 years
-Kept in garage in the last 4 years unused
(The engine was turned on a few times a week on idle)
-Previous owners put some mileage in
-Leaking and noisy when it's overheated
-Some space in the trunk
-Color is 2 shades of brown, but mostly white
-Quite robust, so shared use is an option
-First gear hardly works, so you need to start in second.
-Free to take
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Old scrapper, just about enough va-va-voom for a quick go round the block and maybe to Aldi and back. Paired with defective onboard computer system that gives a completely wonky readout. All this despite low mileage and regular servicing.
Probably best to take the £250 and run. Because she doesn't |
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"Got cake  all the cake"
Yes*
*Disclaimer, 'all the cake' is a term relating to differentiation of portion sizes of varying propiety not limited too 'all cake' and sometimes even 'no cake' can be used for purposes of matters relating to cake. This is also not limited to cake I have already ate.
So sue me motherhecker |
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"Got cake
Tempted but need more information on the cake you’re offering 
All the cake
*see disclaimerI see what you did there"
Shröedingers cake  if I eat it does it still exist or can it exist and both not exist at the same
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