FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > The less desirable traits...
The less desirable traits...
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
When it comes to meeting people here - are you here for the fantasy element? I've been talking to a friend today about honesty, whether it's a good or bad thing sometimes.
Would someone opening up about MH issues, discussing jealousy or previous issues etc turn you off?
Do you prefer to keep things very simple and sex based or do you enjoy getting to know a person, warts and all? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It's a tricky one for me it varies, some people can open up about all that stuff and it will make me more fond of them, others it'll put me off so I can't say either way.
I guess it's more what comes out their mouth when they do open up, do I agree? Do I think their being harsh/entitled?(especially past fab issues) it can be both a turn on and off totally depending on the individual.
I do have a need to get to know people and I absolutely detest small talk so some conversation on a personal level is needed to get any attention from me but I don't expect deep in depth conversations either that are overly personal.
So yeah short answer is both.
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When it comes to meeting people here - are you here for the fantasy element? I've been talking to a friend today about honesty, whether it's a good or bad thing sometimes.
Would someone opening up about MH issues, discussing jealousy or previous issues etc turn you off?
Do you prefer to keep things very simple and sex based or do you enjoy getting to know a person, warts and all?"
MH issues is an instant no from me
Billions of people on the planet, I’ll avoid the ones that tell me they’re unstable |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *agebunWoman
over a year ago
Rugby |
"When it comes to meeting people here - are you here for the fantasy element? I've been talking to a friend today about honesty, whether it's a good or bad thing sometimes.
Would someone opening up about MH issues, discussing jealousy or previous issues etc turn you off?
Do you prefer to keep things very simple and sex based or do you enjoy getting to know a person, warts and all?"
I prefer to get to know people as that makes the sex better for me generally.
I try to be pretty open about my MH and ND stuff so I'm totally not bothered by people being open about theirs.
In terms of past issues with fab/other people, it kinda depends on what they are and how the person is approaching them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think there’s a line between telling someone enough and telling them too much
I didn't need to know all of this; it's enough to say there's a line  "
Goon
You know what I mean tho, conversation takes it’s twists and turn naturally but it’s normal to not over share, especially if you’re just having a one off  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Completely agree with this.
The reality is that 1 in 4 experience MH issues at some point, so it’s something we should all accept. If someone disclosed a MH issue, show empathy and kindness and be honest that it is or isn’t something you’d be able to support.
Ghosting someone after they’ve disclosed something personal to you has a huge, huge impact. Be kind  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have no beef with people opening up about MH. It helps to talk, especially if depressed, if I can listen and let someone unload then that’s a good thing. There’s been plenty of times where I’ve needed an ear and nobody offered to help me.
If someone is offended or upset by MH issues then that’s a failing in their part. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Completely agree with this.
The reality is that 1 in 4 experience MH issues at some point, so it’s something we should all accept. If someone disclosed a MH issue, show empathy and kindness and be honest that it is or isn’t something you’d be able to support.
Ghosting someone after they’ve disclosed something personal to you has a huge, huge impact. Be kind "
I once told someone I’d been chatting to in here for a while that I was struggling one particular day, and could use a friend - they blocked me. It really impacted me, mainly because I was in a bad way at that moment.
Now I realise that they weren’t worth the steam off my piss. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Completely agree with this.
The reality is that 1 in 4 experience MH issues at some point, so it’s something we should all accept. If someone disclosed a MH issue, show empathy and kindness and be honest that it is or isn’t something you’d be able to support.
Ghosting someone after they’ve disclosed something personal to you has a huge, huge impact. Be kind "
This basically. I'd rather get to know them.
Also a freak on the streets is a freak in the sheets.
(Jokes obviously) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Completely agree with this.
The reality is that 1 in 4 experience MH issues at some point, so it’s something we should all accept. If someone disclosed a MH issue, show empathy and kindness and be honest that it is or isn’t something you’d be able to support.
Ghosting someone after they’ve disclosed something personal to you has a huge, huge impact. Be kind
I once told someone I’d been chatting to in here for a while that I was struggling one particular day, and could use a friend - they blocked me. It really impacted me, mainly because I was in a bad way at that moment.
Now I realise that they weren’t worth the steam off my piss."
Exactly this. It’s funny, only those unfortunate enough to experience MH issues understand the massive impact someone seemingly distant can have.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
I shall name each and everyone of your warts, and give them little lives and backstories.
Okay not quite that much but I need to feel comfortable and friendly enough with somebody.
But I do need to find you hot and attractive to me - don't care what youself or others think of you, so long as I do. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Very much a similar standpoint to us...
We're open about ourselves in terms of being always happy to answer people's questions and sometimes that morphs into a conversation about some of the more "difficult" conversations. However we feel that if it makes another person more comfortable to have shared that information then we're happy to listen. The same would go the other way too.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Completely agree with this.
The reality is that 1 in 4 experience MH issues at some point, so it’s something we should all accept. If someone disclosed a MH issue, show empathy and kindness and be honest that it is or isn’t something you’d be able to support.
Ghosting someone after they’ve disclosed something personal to you has a huge, huge impact. Be kind "
Out of interest then, how would someone that’s not interested in someone with MH issues react if told?
Just politely say “not my type” and not mention the MH reasons I’d guess? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"It's a tricky one for me it varies, some people can open up about all that stuff and it will make me more fond of them, others it'll put me off so I can't say either way.
I guess it's more what comes out their mouth when they do open up, do I agree? Do I think their being harsh/entitled?(especially past fab issues) it can be both a turn on and off totally depending on the individual.
I do have a need to get to know people and I absolutely detest small talk so some conversation on a personal level is needed to get any attention from me but I don't expect deep in depth conversations either that are overly personal.
So yeah short answer is both.
Mrs "
I can understand that. It depends on the dynamic between you doesn't it? Sometimes it feels right and other times it can be a bit much.
Small talk is inane. Dull. I'm always a tad tempted to throw something in to just spice it up a bit. I don't think there's a clear cut answer to it, really. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I often believe that it's those who have mental health issues are the strongest people. They have to wake up and face the world with their unique difficulties and that's something that takes real strength.
Mental health problems are more common than ever and I feel we should be making every effort possible to destigmatize and open up avenues of discussion about them
A |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
This is more of an escape from reality and for those moments together you can just forget about everything and get lost .. strictly fantasy only , yes you will get to know certain things but it’s ultimately fantasy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"When it comes to meeting people here - are you here for the fantasy element? I've been talking to a friend today about honesty, whether it's a good or bad thing sometimes.
Would someone opening up about MH issues, discussing jealousy or previous issues etc turn you off?
Do you prefer to keep things very simple and sex based or do you enjoy getting to know a person, warts and all?
MH issues is an instant no from me
Billions of people on the planet, I’ll avoid the ones that tell me they’re unstable "
That's fair enough really. Everyone has their no's and not respecting that is dickish. You don't know why someone does.
I wouldn't say people who have MH issues are necessarily unstable but that's a whole other thread. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Difficult one this. I will try and explain my viewpoint without offending anyone.
I would find it odd and probably uncomfortable if someone opened up on mental health issues in the first few interactions. But I wouldn’t immediately cut them off.
Equally if someone I have had multiple interactions with over a period of time felt comfortable enough or trusted me enough to open up on something that deeply personal. I would support them as far as I can. I would absolutely not cut them off just for that.
Everyone has lived a life , has scars, visible or otherwise, just because this is a swinging site doesn’t mean we shouldn’t treat people we interact with here with any less respect, understanding or compassion |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When it comes to meeting people here - are you here for the fantasy element? I've been talking to a friend today about honesty, whether it's a good or bad thing sometimes.
Would someone opening up about MH issues, discussing jealousy or previous issues etc turn you off?
Do you prefer to keep things very simple and sex based or do you enjoy getting to know a person, warts and all?
MH issues is an instant no from me
Billions of people on the planet, I’ll avoid the ones that tell me they’re unstable
That's fair enough really. Everyone has their no's and not respecting that is dickish. You don't know why someone does.
I wouldn't say people who have MH issues are necessarily unstable but that's a whole other thread."
I might be over reading things here, but if someone feels the need to tell me that have MH issues before we’ve met then I’m gonna assume they’re bad enough to be considered unstable
Because let’s be honest, we all have MH issues. But there’s “occasionally I feel anxious but it’s fine really” issues and “my issues are so bad I feel the need to warn people before I meet them” issues |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We both prefer to get to know others BUT we don't want to know everything and always good to engage in a wide ranging conversation though as we do find that people who have outside interests and not their whole life/free time is taken up with fab and the quest for sex make for better playmates ?? and some level of honesty is appreciated though and anyway always good to share experiences about the scene and maybe have a laugh aswell and great sex always starts in the brain plus Mrs4 is of the firm belief that a brain is not a optional extra either !! and as for MH issues as we say if you haven't experienced any MH issues you are indeed very very very lucky/unusual and always good to know there is someone willing to listen ?? but sadly a fair few care very little about anyone apart from their overwhelming desire to get some "Action" and if that does involve lying and using and abusing people ?? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Completely agree with this.
The reality is that 1 in 4 experience MH issues at some point, so it’s something we should all accept. If someone disclosed a MH issue, show empathy and kindness and be honest that it is or isn’t something you’d be able to support.
Ghosting someone after they’ve disclosed something personal to you has a huge, huge impact. Be kind
Out of interest then, how would someone that’s not interested in someone with MH issues react if told?
Just politely say “not my type” and not mention the MH reasons I’d guess? "
I think that depends on the situation. If you’ve been chatting for a while before it’s disclosed, using the “not my type” line isn’t going to work.
I’d much prefer someone to say something like “I’m sorry you’re having a difficult time. I don’t have the knowledge to help you. Please talk to someone who can give you better advice”
The example above won’t be perfect for everyone. The key is empathy. Put yourself in the shoes (or less!) off the person you’re talking to and re-read your message, or double check your action before you do it.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Completely agree with this.
The reality is that 1 in 4 experience MH issues at some point, so it’s something we should all accept. If someone disclosed a MH issue, show empathy and kindness and be honest that it is or isn’t something you’d be able to support.
Ghosting someone after they’ve disclosed something personal to you has a huge, huge impact. Be kind
Out of interest then, how would someone that’s not interested in someone with MH issues react if told?
Just politely say “not my type” and not mention the MH reasons I’d guess?
I think that depends on the situation. If you’ve been chatting for a while before it’s disclosed, using the “not my type” line isn’t going to work.
I’d much prefer someone to say something like “I’m sorry you’re having a difficult time. I don’t have the knowledge to help you. Please talk to someone who can give you better advice”
The example above won’t be perfect for everyone. The key is empathy. Put yourself in the shoes (or less!) off the person you’re talking to and re-read your message, or double check your action before you do it.
"
I think that’s a good answer to a difficult situation |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm not here for fantasy and temporary pleasure. Or "fun" as it's usually called here. I think most people are looking for that on Fab.
I'm here for connection, so I'd want to share things about myself and for them to feel happy doing the same. You open yourself up to people to establish a deeper intimacy. That's my theory, anyway. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When it comes to meeting people here - are you here for the fantasy element? I've been talking to a friend today about honesty, whether it's a good or bad thing sometimes.
Would someone opening up about MH issues, discussing jealousy or previous issues etc turn you off?
Do you prefer to keep things very simple and sex based or do you enjoy getting to know a person, warts and all?"
Is this site a place for intimacy?The problem is that the panacea of no strings vicarious ironically sex comes with the problem of the reality of other people and the ick factor of needing people for the most fleeting of moments? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
I like to get to know someone, but not all at once. I don't need the cv, old school reports and doctors notes etc in the first message, for example.
I can't be *that* person for everyone though... the person who takes on all their shit. I used to try and it just started hurting me. Now I tend to step back and while I listen, and sympathise, or empathise, or both, I can't take on all the other people's problems and try and help.
But I like more than just the fantasy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
In the past I wouldn’t have hesitated to say warts and all, but that doesn’t mean I would have shared everything about myself. There have been only a couple of people who I felt safe enough with to share the details of a traumatic experience, but doing so turned out to be a mistake, and I would be cautious about doing it again. Opening up completely makes you vulnerable. People are safe to do so with me. I’m good at keeping other people’s secrets even if I can’t offer much wisdom or help. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I like getting to know someone on more than just a surface level. I think once you get to learn about all that stuff you can start to build more of a connection with them.
It’s nice when someone feels comfortable enough to come to you when they’ve had a shit day or they need someone to vent to. I may not be the best at giving advice but I can listen.
I will say that constant negativity does wear you down after a while though and I think thats when you can start to go off a person. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"I like getting to know someone on more than just a surface level. I think once you get to learn about all that stuff you can start to build more of a connection with them.
It’s nice when someone feels comfortable enough to come to you when they’ve had a shit day or they need someone to vent to. I may not be the best at giving advice but I can listen.
I will say that constant negativity does wear you down after a while though and I think thats when you can start to go off a person. "
Attacked! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"People who are close to me get the whole me. I want the same in others. I dont need to know every detail of your life, but I want the honest, open, full self. "
I mean... you're OK with every detail, right? Or should I stop sending my daily schedule?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Surely it all depends on the MH issue.
If someone is hearing voices telling them to kill and eat the immoral, then maybe I might swerve them.
If they have panic attics in crowded spaces or are struggling with job stress or the loss of a family member then I don’t think it really matters.
There are a lot better qualified people to talk to rather than the people on their website though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I like getting to know someone on more than just a surface level. I think once you get to learn about all that stuff you can start to build more of a connection with them.
It’s nice when someone feels comfortable enough to come to you when they’ve had a shit day or they need someone to vent to. I may not be the best at giving advice but I can listen.
I will say that constant negativity does wear you down after a while though and I think thats when you can start to go off a person.
Attacked!"
You cracked a smile yesterday, you’re safe. Just.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It turns me on to get to know someone and the fact they can be as honest with me as they can. I like connections, conversations and deep emotions.
In fact, I couldn’t have sex just for the sake of sex, I need that deeper understanding of someone. Sex is much better that way. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It’s never just sex for me so I know the people I meet very well. I’ll be honest though and say yeah I’d avoid people with issues, this is like an escape for me. as some of you know I have to deal with some difficult stuff in everyday life. So nope, as uncaring as it may come across (and I’m far from uncaring) I don’t want or need it x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I like to know people but don't tell me your deepest secrets if you need support because I don't have the emotional capacity currently. I'll listen and empathise/sympathise but if you've just shared the details of a hurtful break up it's not going to make me feel libidinous |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm starting to get to know a couple of people really well away from the inbox and I genuinely look forward to hearing from them. I'm a big sharer so I'm happy doing that, though I know it's not for everyone |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"Completely agree with this.
The reality is that 1 in 4 experience MH issues at some point, so it’s something we should all accept. If someone disclosed a MH issue, show empathy and kindness and be honest that it is or isn’t something you’d be able to support.
Ghosting someone after they’ve disclosed something personal to you has a huge, huge impact. Be kind "
Yes, definitely. I'm not really one for be kind but I think you can handle things with a basic level of respect for another human. If you're not able to support them that doesn't make you a bad person. Being honest is important in that situation. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When it comes to meeting people here - are you here for the fantasy element? I've been talking to a friend today about honesty, whether it's a good or bad thing sometimes.
Would someone opening up about MH issues, discussing jealousy or previous issues etc turn you off?
Do you prefer to keep things very simple and sex based or do you enjoy getting to know a person, warts and all?"
I need some chemistry due things to work and rather become friends random sex isn't my thing.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *agebunWoman
over a year ago
Rugby |
"Completely agree with this.
The reality is that 1 in 4 experience MH issues at some point, so it’s something we should all accept. If someone disclosed a MH issue, show empathy and kindness and be honest that it is or isn’t something you’d be able to support.
Ghosting someone after they’ve disclosed something personal to you has a huge, huge impact. Be kind
Yes, definitely. I'm not really one for be kind but I think you can handle things with a basic level of respect for another human. If you're not able to support them that doesn't make you a bad person. Being honest is important in that situation. "
Very much this, I don’t expect everyone I speak to about it to support me when I'm struggling. What I need from people is understanding more than anything, I have a pretty good support network in my life. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
"I like to know people but don't tell me your deepest secrets if you need support because I don't have the emotional capacity currently. I'll listen and empathise/sympathise but if you've just shared the details of a hurtful break up it's not going to make me feel libidinous "
This. Too much too soon and it gets overwhelming. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Completely agree with this.
The reality is that 1 in 4 experience MH issues at some point, so it’s something we should all accept. If someone disclosed a MH issue, show empathy and kindness and be honest that it is or isn’t something you’d be able to support.
Ghosting someone after they’ve disclosed something personal to you has a huge, huge impact. Be kind "
THIS  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Mostly sexual/fantasy, but 1 or 2 I'd like to know more of.
They stimulate my mind, not just my...
eyes.
Even some kind of twisted relationship is a possibility.
No HPV for me, thanks.
I had the all clear this year.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I like to know people but don't tell me your deepest secrets if you need support because I don't have the emotional capacity currently. I'll listen and empathise/sympathise but if you've just shared the details of a hurtful break up it's not going to make me feel libidinous
This. Too much too soon and it gets overwhelming."
Yes, agree.
Not interested in a constant conversation every time tell me and thats enough. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I respect and warm to people who are open/honest by nature. Who are not afraid to display their humanity and fragility. So on its own that is not a bad thing. Likewise I am comfortable doing the same and maybe an over sharer. And of course with MH it does help if you understand where the other person is coming from and their limitations or barriers.
However it depends of what they are expecting from me and what the want me to do with that information which is maybe the problem when talking in a casual/NSA environment. I am happy to talk to anyone and lend an ear. However I am here to seek my own light hearted adventures. I'm not here to be anyone's councillor or to take on the burden of their problems. So I think it is a bit inappropriate to dump all your problems onto some who did not sign up for that. Although I understand people's need for outlet this may not appropriate in a causal/NSA setting. And as others have said negativity (although may be perfectly valid and understandable) is not an attractive feature. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It depends on the relationship I have with the person. If its a regular arrangement its natural for you both to let your guard down and share deeper things about yourself. It's also important to have that knowledge just incase like me you are prone to disappear into a bubble now and again.
When it does happen naturally though it's a nice thing. We are all human at the end of the day and getting that support from someone you are already intimate with isn't a bad thing. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When it comes to meeting people here - are you here for the fantasy element? I've been talking to a friend today about honesty, whether it's a good or bad thing sometimes.
Would someone opening up about MH issues, discussing jealousy or previous issues etc turn you off?
Do you prefer to keep things very simple and sex based or do you enjoy getting to know a person, warts and all?
MH issues is an instant no from me
Billions of people on the planet, I’ll avoid the ones that tell me they’re unstable "
Rules out 99% of fab then. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think there’s a line between telling someone enough and telling them too much
Exactly this "
Fully agree. A flavour of them is fine; But I don’t want a full life story.
If you see them multiple times and even start a social thing. You expect to learn more. But if it’s one off then i’m not there to learn about your ex’s and your nextdoor neighbours dog! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
All I want is someone I can talk crap with for hours.
I don't need to know your personal circumstances, your job, your life goals. I don't even need to know your name. Just be someone I get on with.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"All I want is someone I can talk crap with for hours.
I don't need to know your personal circumstances, your job, your life goals. I don't even need to know your name. Just be someone I get on with.
"
I’m all for this. Good company is everything. I’m all up for trying! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
With someone I have clicked with and we get on as friends first and foremost and the benefits are just a bonus I've no issue discussing everything and anything and being supportive.
With random people I've only had a passing friendship with not a chance because there are too many "nice" people just stockpiling ammo to use against others. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think I need to see the real person to an extent. And that means the good, the bad and the ugly. Else for me it a bit one night stand vibes, which I get is desirable for some. Just it's not for me, nobody's perfect and that's good with me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"When it comes to meeting people here - are you here for the fantasy element? I've been talking to a friend today about honesty, whether it's a good or bad thing sometimes.
Would someone opening up about MH issues, discussing jealousy or previous issues etc turn you off?
Do you prefer to keep things very simple and sex based or do you enjoy getting to know a person, warts and all?"
Like anyone else , I am all things. There is no need to choose.
Esentially and initially I was here for nsa sex and if anyone had mentioned past meets, jealousies, other emotions , mental health issues - I'd have dropped them faster than hot coals.
If it's someone I met a few times / got to know etc and they confided in me - i'd feel I knew them more and value their honesty and then drop them faster than hot coals !
JOKE! I'm more likely to feel I know them , trust them and more likely to call them friend ( after eons... that is ) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I like opening up about things, once you’ve got to know someone. I’m not here to just fuck random strangers, I’d like to put a face/personality to them and sometimes first. If someone opens up about issues, then I’d listen to them. Because I’d like if someone did that for me.
Although recently I opened up about something impacting my life, to someone who I thought was a friend here. And his reaction wasn’t what I thought it would be, which upset me.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If prefer not to invalidate their feelings and show empathy. If they revealed a MH or ND side, again I'd be understanding. I'd rather people shared so I knew them and who they are and why. Personally I find it kind of odd if someone can't share certain aspects of themselves but can engage in sex and the intimacies that come with it. I think if you shut someone off when they've shared that and it's too much trouble for you you're quite an arsehole and it's very damaging to them. You don't know what people have been through. Where's the sense of decency?
We should be kind to one another and accept everyone is different and not judge others on what they share or not. It's up to them if they want to share it. They should never feel like they shouldn't. And they should never feel a rejection if they do. And if someone's shares things with you why not see the compliment that it is that they feel comfortable to do so with you rather than being an arsehole. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'll keep the fantasy thanks Meli. I've done the MH friends and meets and have been burned many times. I'm fed up of being disposable to them. So, at arms length is where they will stay "
Disposable. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Unless I'm actually seeing the whites of their eyes on a regular basis and therefore getting to know them, any interaction is going to be kept at a superficial level.
I'd be concerned about their boundaries if they were oversharing |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If prefer not to invalidate their feelings and show empathy. If they revealed a MH or ND side, again I'd be understanding. I'd rather people shared so I knew them and who they are and why. Personally I find it kind of odd if someone can't share certain aspects of themselves but can engage in sex and the intimacies that come with it. I think if you shut someone off when they've shared that and it's too much trouble for you you're quite an arsehole and it's very damaging to them. You don't know what people have been through. Where's the sense of decency?
We should be kind to one another and accept everyone is different and not judge others on what they share or not. It's up to them if they want to share it. They should never feel like they shouldn't. And they should never feel a rejection if they do. And if someone's shares things with you why not see the compliment that it is that they feel comfortable to do so with you rather than being an arsehole."
More of this please!
There are some beautiful people with kind souls out there |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
