What's your craziest mishap in the kitchen? The sort of thing that was a bit of a disaster at the time but also hilarious looking back at it.
Mine was my first attempt at a pressure cooker stew. I opened the steam release valve without running the pressure cooker under the tap to relieve pressure first and spraying most of the kitchen with stew juice   |
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I left a 2 year old happily mixing the Yorkshire pudding batter once while I popped out the room for a moment. I came back and it was all over the sides, the windows and in the toaster. We had to buy a new toaster. |
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"I left a 2 year old happily mixing the Yorkshire pudding batter once while I popped out the room for a moment. I came back and it was all over the sides, the windows and in the toaster. We had to buy a new toaster. "
I've just blown my coffee out of my nose at that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I left a 2 year old happily mixing the Yorkshire pudding batter once while I popped out the room for a moment. I came back and it was all over the sides, the windows and in the toaster. We had to buy a new toaster. "
Omg |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
I know a person who was so bade a cooking they left the wrapping on whilst microwaving a frozen pizza… does that count???
And before you all look at me thinking “dumbass” I am allergic to cheese!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Simmering 6 cans of condensed milk to make banoffie pie, leaving work and instructing the lunch time chefs to keep it topped up and to turn it off in 2 hours. Neither thing happened and they exploded in spectacular sticky fashion. They had to repaint the pastry room ceiling as it never came off. |
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By *ullyMan
over a year ago
Near Clacton |
Not me but a lad I that used to work for me, had pressured his dad to buy a new toaster, one of the 4 at a time jobs, dad eventually bought a rather expensive commercial type toaster, lad laid it on it's side and put 4 beefburgers in it. Fat everywhere . Ha also lent a very very expensive grey leather jacket to his friend one night for a night out out and friend threw up all over it , so lad soaked it overnight in the bath of hot water with half a packet of detergent. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Something I saw… a neighbour forgot they had hot oil on the fire; I could tell because the oil had caught fire. Rang the doorbell to alert them, husband did the ‘smartest’ thing by throwing water into the pot…safe to say he needed a new coat of paint for the ceiling  |
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"Something I saw… a neighbour forgot they had hot oil on the fire; I could tell because the oil had caught fire. Rang the doorbell to alert them, husband did the ‘smartest’ thing by throwing water into the pot…safe to say he needed a new coat of paint for the ceiling "
Probably new eyebrows too! |
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"I once cooked squid rings instead of onion rings in a fry up, and made horse bolognese instead of beef! In my defence we had just moved to Germany and I didn’t speak the lingo! Haha "
Now the squid rings I could handle, but I draw the line at horse bolognese  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I once cooked squid rings instead of onion rings in a fry up, and made horse bolognese instead of beef! In my defence we had just moved to Germany and I didn’t speak the lingo! Haha
Now the squid rings I could handle, but I draw the line at horse bolognese "
Never had ikea meatballs then?  |
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Back when microwaves were a new technology, I decided to warm some mince pies.
Not really understanding the technology, I knew they were faster than an ordinary oven so decided on 8 minutes at full power.
Came back into the kitchen after 6 minutes to find it filled with acrid black smoke and four piles of charred ash where the mince pies had been. |
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A few years ago I had a "hot" date. We were both into spicy food so I agreed to cook a lamb madras thus allowing me to show off more than just my, erm, bedroom skills.
The preparation went great. I diced the lamb neck, chopped the chillies, toasted and ground the spices then popped the lot in a bag with some vinegar to marinate whilst I cleaned myself up, put my best clothes on and headed out to meet her. We had a couple of drinks, headed back to mine and I handed her the TV remote (awww...how romantic) whilst I took the marinated lamb out of the fridge ready for the next step.
Frying pan hot, onions chopped, garlic and ginger paste ready...FIZZZ! Everything now browned it went into the pressure cooker with some tomatoes, more fresh chillies, stock and a cinnamon stick. We now have about 40 minutes to kill so what to do...
Anyway...real men don't wear gloves when chopping chillies. Unfortunately, dumb fucking bastards like me forget that you can't just wash capsaicin (the thing that makes chillies "hot") off your fingers. The yoghurt I had planned to use as a raita base ended up being used as a kind of anti-burning-sensation cream for her vagina. I don't think I've ever apologised so much to another human being in my life.
I just order Pizza Hut these days. |
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"I once cooked squid rings instead of onion rings in a fry up, and made horse bolognese instead of beef! In my defence we had just moved to Germany and I didn’t speak the lingo! Haha
Now the squid rings I could handle, but I draw the line at horse bolognese
Never had ikea meatballs then? "
Funnily enough, no! |
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"Back when microwaves were a new technology, I decided to warm some mince pies.
Not really understanding the technology, I knew they were faster than an ordinary oven so decided on 8 minutes at full power.
Came back into the kitchen after 6 minutes to find it filled with acrid black smoke and four piles of charred ash where the mince pies had been. "
Ooops! I did once make the mistake of turning on a hob instead of the 8-in-1 multicooker that was sitting right on top of it - that produced some acrid black smoke |
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"A few years ago I had a "hot" date. We were both into spicy food so I agreed to cook a lamb madras thus allowing me to show off more than just my, erm, bedroom skills.
The preparation went great. I diced the lamb neck, chopped the chillies, toasted and ground the spices then popped the lot in a bag with some vinegar to marinate whilst I cleaned myself up, put my best clothes on and headed out to meet her. We had a couple of drinks, headed back to mine and I handed her the TV remote (awww...how romantic) whilst I took the marinated lamb out of the fridge ready for the next step.
Frying pan hot, onions chopped, garlic and ginger paste ready...FIZZZ! Everything now browned it went into the pressure cooker with some tomatoes, more fresh chillies, stock and a cinnamon stick. We now have about 40 minutes to kill so what to do...
Anyway...real men don't wear gloves when chopping chillies. Unfortunately, dumb fucking bastards like me forget that you can't just wash capsaicin (the thing that makes chillies "hot") off your fingers. The yoghurt I had planned to use as a raita base ended up being used as a kind of anti-burning-sensation cream for her vagina. I don't think I've ever apologised so much to another human being in my life.
I just order Pizza Hut these days. "
That's made my eyes water! |
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"Accidentally blew up an egg in the microwave. It was 1985, and not everyone knew about the inevitable outcome of doing so!"
Hmmm - maybe I should combine that technique with the bizzare kink of mine that I posted about a week ago |
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