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Siren's New Xmas Recipe Book
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Here is a true story that I feel compelled to relate to you. It happened earlier today when Siren & I were discussing the things we need to buy for the Christmas dinner we're cooking at ours this year.
Now I'm normally quite prepared and know what I want to do. I cook a pretty mean Roast Turkey with all the trimmings and I plan well in advance so that everything goes perfectly on the day.
This year, however, I decided that the usual Prawn Cocktail - which even a blind man can prepare - wasn't going to do my elaborate Xmas Dinner any justice at all, so I asked Siren for an alternative starter. And she said, "Smoked Salmon."
"Great idea!" says I, "how it is prepared?"
Siren opens her new Xmas Recipe book and there it was in big bold letters on Page 1:
~~
Starters: Smoked Salmon:
Ingredients: Smoked Salmon
Recipe: (and I kid you not, these were her EXACT words)
1) Put it on a plate!
~~
After 10 minutes of spasmodic laughter I decided that maybe Prawn Cocktail would suffice after all. I think if it was left to Siren to cook Xmas Dinner this year our guests would think that they'd visitied a new Minimalist Traditionalist Exhibition coz she'd have served up 1 potato, 1 turkey dipper, 1 carrot and 1 parsnip (crossed over each other) and a small coin of sage & onion stuffing all on an 18" plate surrounded by a squiggly line of turkey gravy.
Siren's a great wife but this is why men are called Chefs, I think.
(sorry babe, it had to be said hehehe)
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Here is a true story that I feel compelled to relate to you. It happened earlier today when Siren & I were discussing the things we need to buy for the Christmas dinner we're cooking at ours this year.
Now I'm normally quite prepared and know what I want to do. I cook a pretty mean Roast Turkey with all the trimmings and I plan well in advance so that everything goes perfectly on the day.
This year, however, I decided that the usual Prawn Cocktail - which even a blind man can prepare - wasn't going to do my elaborate Xmas Dinner any justice at all, so I asked Siren for an alternative starter. And she said, "Smoked Salmon."
"Great idea!" says I, "how it is prepared?"
Siren opens her new Xmas Recipe book and there it was in big bold letters on Page 1:
~~
Starters: Smoked Salmon:
Ingredients: Smoked Salmon
Recipe: (and I kid you not, these were her EXACT words)
1) Put it on a plate!
~~
After 10 minutes of spasmodic laughter I decided that maybe Prawn Cocktail would suffice after all. I think if it was left to Siren to cook Xmas Dinner this year our guests would think that they'd visitied a new Minimalist Traditionalist Exhibition coz she'd have served up 1 potato, 1 turkey dipper, 1 carrot and 1 parsnip (crossed over each other) and a small coin of sage & onion stuffing all on an 18" plate surrounded by a squiggly line of turkey gravy.
Siren's a great wife but this is why men are called Chefs, I think.
(sorry babe, it had to be said hehehe)
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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got a good tip from come dine with me and tried it and its lush and so easy to do ( bit like me lol ) 
take the salmon and put grilled red and green peppers on top and wrap in puff pastry and make it into salmon wellington, cook at 200degrees for over half hour and hey presto a very christmassy salmon dish with a twist. |
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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago
Notting |
"prawn cocktail is SO yesterday darling!!!
;)
1) I LIKE Prawn Cocktail.
2) Salmon smells like unwashed pussy!
"
You have some posh pussy your way, the ones round here that are unwashed smell like, well i dont know- i have not gone for an unwashed one myself!!!
LOL
Ya can have prawn cocktail (is that fishy smell not like umwashed pussy????) ANY time of the year - xmas supposed to be DIFFERENT!!!!
LOL
Go on man - STAND UP and be PROUD, lol |
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"got a good tip from come dine with me and tried it and its lush and so easy to do ( bit like me lol )
take the salmon and put grilled red and green peppers on top and wrap in puff pastry and make it into salmon wellington, cook at 200degrees for over half hour and hey presto a very christmassy salmon dish with a twist."
Ooohhhh now that sounds very nice indeed!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"PMSL!!!
What about adding a twist of black pepper and a sprinkle of lemon juice to jazz it up?
Which, the salmon or the prawn?
Hmm.....a jazz prawn. Heyyyyyyyy"
.
I was referring to salmon!
Works for prawns too  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"PMSL!!!
What about adding a twist of black pepper and a sprinkle of lemon juice to jazz it up?
Which, the salmon or the prawn?
Hmm.....a jazz prawn. Heyyyyyyyy
.
I was referring to salmon!
Works for prawns too "
.
I take that back re: prawns.
Not much oil in prawns, so need to add some mayo etc... |
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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
"PMSL!!!
What about adding a twist of black pepper and a sprinkle of lemon juice to jazz it up?
Which, the salmon or the prawn?
Hmm.....a jazz prawn. Heyyyyyyyy
.
I was referring to salmon!
Works for prawns too
.
I take that back re: prawns.
Not much oil in prawns, so need to add some mayo etc... "
She's too tired to proofread, but she can discuss food with unerring accuracy.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was referring to salmon!
Works for prawns too
.
I take that back re: prawns.
Not much oil in prawns, so need to add some mayo etc...
She's too tired to proofread, but she can discuss food with unerring accuracy.
"
.
Do I look like I eat rabbit food all the time to you???!!!
I love food, full stop, of course I have time/energy/patience for food related subjects! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some nice thin smoked salmon
You favourite soft cheese, mix in some chopped prawns
Spread it over the smoked salmon and roll it to make like a swiss roll
Cling film it, put it in the fridge to chill
Slice it serve it with a little salad and some brown bread and butter
Enjoy xxx xxx |
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By *irtydanMan
over a year ago
Blackpool |
"Some nice thin smoked salmon
You favourite soft cheese, mix in some chopped prawns
Spread it over the smoked salmon and roll it to make like a swiss roll
Cling film it, put it in the fridge to chill
Slice it serve it with a little salad and some brown bread and butter
Enjoy xxx xxx"
mmmmm sounds lovely |
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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
"I was referring to salmon!
Works for prawns too
.
I take that back re: prawns.
Not much oil in prawns, so need to add some mayo etc...
She's too tired to proofread, but she can discuss food with unerring accuracy.
.
Do I look like I eat rabbit food all the time to you???!!!
I love food, full stop, of course I have time/energy/patience for food related subjects! "
I didn't mean you're food-centred, I meant that you're particular about cooking.
...just to clarify, as I don't want you serving up one of Rapunzel's recipes! |
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