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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh hell no.
Opposite in fact, if I feel I'm the only one they talk to I'll walk away.
Plus, it's kinda hot knowing someone you fancy is having sex. Right?? |
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It kind of does as I’m still set in my old monogamous ways with new partnering. However after a quick chat all is usually good. Unless I’m not at the chatting stage and still admiring from afar. Then girl code kicks in. Dammit. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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No. Well it depends on who they're flirting with but most of the time I like seeing people enjoying themselves. I don't want to be someone's number one. I do want to feel like I matter though and I'm more than a couple of tight orifices. I like being desired. I can't feel sexual attraction without it. |
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By *agebunWoman
over a year ago
Rugby |
"Do you have the need to be?
If you see someone that you’re interested in or that you have a ‘thing’ with flirting with someone else, does that cool your interest and if so, why?
"
Usually not, although if someone I'm flirting with has a new 'thing' with someone else I do back off a little just to give them space to explore their new connection.
Usually though I'm likely to be cheering people on about the people they like and want to flirt with  |
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"It kind of does as I’m still set in my old monogamous ways with new partnering. However after a quick chat all is usually good. Unless I’m not at the chatting stage and still admiring from afar. Then girl code kicks in. Dammit. "
Yeah, I can understand this. Trying to rethink that mindset can be difficult. For me it's a constant work in progress, reminding myself that this is a different arena with different norms. |
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"It can do, both on here and in person. If they're flirting with someone I consider a lot more attractive than me, if they're flirting with someone a lot younger. It makes me question things.
J"
It's not a being number one thing. More that it will knock my confidence. |
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"No. Well it depends on who they're flirting with but most of the time I like seeing people enjoying themselves. I don't want to be someone's number one. I do want to feel like I matter though and I'm more than a couple of tight orifices. I like being desired. I can't feel sexual attraction without it."
Yes - "mattering" is important to me, too. Just didn't quite know how to express it. |
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"No. Well it depends on who they're flirting with but most of the time I like seeing people enjoying themselves. I don't want to be someone's number one. I do want to feel like I matter though and I'm more than a couple of tight orifices. I like being desired. I can't feel sexual attraction without it."
Yeah, the 'who' is important to me too, even if it probably shouldn't be (and obviously can't cover the known/unknowns).
Do I need to be number one? No. I also like to see people enjoying themselves.
But picked up and put down when it suits them? Also no. |
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Um, I like to be the primary concern when we're together for sure.
But the rest of the time, they can prioritise who like in those moments. I like to be thought of now and again, but if I know they're with one of their other partners then I'm perfectly happy to not be the focus of their attentions for that period of time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do I need to be number one? Absolutely not, infact I encourage all my playmates to be with others as I wouldn't be comfortable being their 'number one'.
In terms of seeing them flirt, it depends with who. If I know it's someone they would never flirt with in the real world and are playing games, that would make me question them for sure. If the flirting is genuine then I'm cool with that. |
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"Oh hell no.
Opposite in fact, if I feel I'm the only one they talk to I'll walk away.
Plus, it's kinda hot knowing someone you fancy is having sex. Right?? "
Raven, what are you doing in my head sharing my thoughts?
Which is an awkward of saying I feel the same.
But when you’re with me, be 100% with me. That’s all I ask. Be fully in the moment. Then go be with someone else in a different moment, with my blessing. |
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I don't need to be number one but I also don't want to feel like a lesser choice.
I do agree that who they're flirting with can put me off but at the same time I don't own anyone and like to see people enjoying themselves.
Em x |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"No. Well it depends on who they're flirting with but most of the time I like seeing people enjoying themselves. I don't want to be someone's number one. I do want to feel like I matter though and I'm more than a couple of tight orifices. I like being desired. I can't feel sexual attraction without it.
Yeah, the 'who' is important to me too, even if it probably shouldn't be (and obviously can't cover the known/unknowns).
Do I need to be number one? No. I also like to see people enjoying themselves.
But picked up and put down when it suits them? Also no."
Yep. I'm not a swinger. The who does matter to me to a certain extent. I'm not going to go into when it does but it can.
Yeah that picking up and putting down. I get why people do it but it's not for me at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do I need to be Number 1, absolutely not.
Nobody is exclusive...it's about having fun and no drama.
And I'm pleased if someone I met/meeting was enjoying themselves, obviously they wouldn't be having as much fun as when they are with me 
That's obviously a joke for those that need it spelling out!  
However, what I do appreciate is if I have had several meetings with someone, that they tell me when they no longer wish to meet with me again... I'd rather know one way or the other, it's how I roll!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you have the need to be?
If you see someone that you’re interested in or that you have a ‘thing’ with flirting with someone else, does that cool your interest and if so, why?
"
No, in fact I'd prefer it.
The only thing I'd ever ask is that keep in mind my child free nights if they can so I can have them when I'm actually free. But I wouldn't expect it. |
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"It kind of does as I’m still set in my old monogamous ways with new partnering. However after a quick chat all is usually good. Unless I’m not at the chatting stage and still admiring from afar. Then girl code kicks in. Dammit.
Yeah, I can understand this. Trying to rethink that mindset can be difficult. For me it's a constant work in progress, reminding myself that this is a different arena with different norms."
Although I’m sad you’re in the same situation and head space I’m glad I’m not alone! As with most thing, communication is the key and massively important isn’t it x |
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Monogamy works for me
And tbh, over my time here my observations have led me to think that there really aren't all that many people here who are emotionally or otherwise equipped to navigate multiple partners or relationships beyond those that are casual or one time only |
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I am someone’s number 1, and she is mine. After all these years and everything we’ve been through together, nothing will change this. But for everyone else, it’s a lovely thing to give generously, and to make another person feel like they matter. It’s quite simple for the most part. Be clear and honest, listen… truly listen, and be available when you can. I think it’s the difference between properly enjoying a connection with someone and simply stacking up people to boost your own ego. |
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