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World's Best Handjob
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That reminds me of a car wash locally that used to have a sign up saying "best hand job in town".
Anyway, as to medals, today I'll go for "best laid-back mum". It's half term, I've got the week off, and I fancied doing as little as possible for a day so have let the kids generally do whatever they want. I may regret this at bedtime  |
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"Now... Is that a case of if I ask you to prove it, it won't actually be the best hand job ever but would in fact be a tribute? "
Indeed! And what an instant earworm  Except that Tribute was actually better than The Best Song In The World. So you might get lucky.
J
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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
"Now... Is that a case of if I ask you to prove it, it won't actually be the best hand job ever but would in fact be a tribute? "
"Giiiiiiive the best handjob in the world...
Or I'll eat your soul!" |
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"That reminds me of a car wash locally that used to have a sign up saying "best hand job in town".
Anyway, as to medals, today I'll go for "best laid-back mum". It's half term, I've got the week off, and I fancied doing as little as possible for a day so have let the kids generally do whatever they want. I may regret this at bedtime "
This is so much better than enforced fun! 
J |
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"Given by me today. I am so proud of myself that I might make a badge.
What medals are you awarding yourselves today fabbers?
J"
Oh congratulations on a job well done! Just remember that in order to retain 'World Best' status, you'll need to continuously prove your skills. I'm happy to volunteer as a judge
As for my medal today... I succeeded in updating some portfolios, contacting some colleagues, and generally getting my work house in order. Merit Badge for Things Ticked Off The List for me. |
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Today I have awarded myself the world's best dancer.
Unfortunately only the cat's where available to bear witness to my awesome ability in my y-ftonts giving it large .
"Let's get mental in da house" |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
"The I didn't swear at anyone today - even under my breath! Go me
Bet you thought it tho? "
Didn't even think it today which is a massive achievement. I was very very close though probably |
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"Given by me today. I am so proud of myself that I might make a badge.
What medals are you awarding yourselves today fabbers?
J"
The most patient man in an office full of idiots.
This is why I don’t go into the office very often! |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Away for Christmas |
"Must unfuckable it seems!
Your medal is deep-fried and is actually a hash brown
J
oh actually can I have that?
Naff off!"
I was nice to you and everything. That was effort. I think I deserve it |
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"Must unfuckable it seems!
Your medal is deep-fried and is actually a hash brown
J
oh actually can I have that?
Naff off!
I was nice to you and everything. That was effort. I think I deserve it"
Wow, how to piss off me and Elphaba in one post. Reject my awesome handjob and try to steal her hash brown. Well played. You can have a medal for that.
J |
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"Given by me today. I am so proud of myself that I might make a badge.
What medals are you awarding yourselves today fabbers?
J
The most patient man in an office full of idiots.
This is why I don’t go into the office very often! "
That's going to be one big medal  I have to pay per letter you know!
J |
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"The I didn't swear at anyone today - even under my breath! Go me
Bet you thought it tho?
Didn't even think it today which is a massive achievement. I was very very close though probably "
That does deserve a medal!
J |
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"Given by me today. I am so proud of myself that I might make a badge.
What medals are you awarding yourselves today fabbers?
J
The most patient man in an office full of idiots.
This is why I don’t go into the office very often!
That's going to be one big medal I have to pay per letter you know!
J"
I will be happy with TMPMIAOFOI
Does it come with a gold chain or ribbon? |
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"Given by me today. I am so proud of myself that I might make a badge.
What medals are you awarding yourselves today fabbers?
J
The most patient man in an office full of idiots.
This is why I don’t go into the office very often!
That's going to be one big medal I have to pay per letter you know!
J
I will be happy with TMPMIAOFOI
Does it come with a gold chain or ribbon? "
I'm grumbling about the cost of engraving and you think it will come with a gold chain?
J |
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How are you defining best handjob?
Quickest finish time?
Produced biggest, gooeyist cumshot?
Made cock bigger and harder than ever before?
Got bigger, deeper, longer pulses that you could feel like King Kongs heartbeat?
.
We need the deets!! |
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"How are you defining best handjob?
Quickest finish time?
Produced biggest, gooeyist cumshot?
Made cock bigger and harder than ever before?
Got bigger, deeper, longer pulses that you could feel like King Kongs heartbeat?
.
We need the deets!!"
It is defined by an arbitrary set of factors such as B said it was the best ever.  It involved silicon lube and a cunning trick I learned in a book called "Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man". I can't give away all my secrets 
J |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ll have a medal for completing a big job under time please me Julie
It's yours Also I want to see the impostor copy that profile pic! Ain't no way he can be that beautiful!
J"
Aw thank you  |
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By *piderBunnyCouple
over a year ago
Back of Nowhere and Beyond |
"I'm shit at hand jobs.
But I'll take "fucking amazing blow job" and "best blow job ever".
Thanks
Posh 
You can have those. And you'll have to give me some lessons. 
J"
We keep saying that...
P |
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"How are you defining best handjob?
Quickest finish time?
Produced biggest, gooeyist cumshot?
Made cock bigger and harder than ever before?
Got bigger, deeper, longer pulses that you could feel like King Kongs heartbeat?
.
We need the deets!!
It is defined by an arbitrary set of factors such as B said it was the best ever. It involved silicon lube and a cunning trick I learned in a book called "Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man". I can't give away all my secrets
J"
Arbitrary needs independent verification.
I volunteer.
It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it. |
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"Now... Is that a case of if I ask you to prove it, it won't actually be the best hand job ever but would in fact be a tribute?
"Giiiiiiive the best handjob in the world...
Or I'll eat your soul!""
Ffs I actually sang that in my head in the Alan Rickmanesque voice |
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