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Here is some advice for you!
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By *aitonel OP Man
over a year ago
Away for Christmas |
Do you take your own advice?
I'm an awesome listener, I'm great as somebody to talk to about things. Level headed and great at advice, I can't promise it will work but it's always from a place that makes sense. Plus it usually does work out.
I do however absolutely fucking fail, more often than not, at using the same sense and heeding the advice I give to others. I mess shit up often.
I don't mean gut instinct and all that bollocks, christ that saying is insufferable... "listen to my gut, and it's never let me down". But doing or not doing something you would advise somebody else to do the opposite. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you take your own advice?
I'm an awesome listener, I'm great as somebody to talk to about things. Level headed and great at advice, I can't promise it will work but it's always from a place that makes sense. Plus it usually does work out.
I do however absolutely fucking fail, more often than not, at using the same sense and heeding the advice I give to others. I mess shit up often.
I don't mean gut instinct and all that bollocks, christ that saying is insufferable... "listen to my gut, and it's never let me down". But doing or not doing something you would advise somebody else to do the opposite. "
Never listen to a forum user period. If I need advice which I do not go see my doctor. |
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"Do you take your own advice?
I'm an awesome listener, I'm great as somebody to talk to about things. Level headed and great at advice, I can't promise it will work but it's always from a place that makes sense. Plus it usually does work out.
I do however absolutely fucking fail, more often than not, at using the same sense and heeding the advice I give to others. I mess shit up often.
I don't mean gut instinct and all that bollocks, christ that saying is insufferable... "listen to my gut, and it's never let me down". But doing or not doing something you would advise somebody else to do the opposite.
Never listen to a forum user period. If I need advice which I do not go see my doctor. "
I don’t think he’s talking about medical advice. And I don’t think he’s talking about forums either. Just general I think. |
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"Do you take your own advice?
I'm an awesome listener, I'm great as somebody to talk to about things. Level headed and great at advice, I can't promise it will work but it's always from a place that makes sense. Plus it usually does work out.
I do however absolutely fucking fail, more often than not, at using the same sense and heeding the advice I give to others. I mess shit up often.
I don't mean gut instinct and all that bollocks, christ that saying is insufferable... "listen to my gut, and it's never let me down". But doing or not doing something you would advise somebody else to do the opposite.
Never listen to a forum user period. If I need advice which I do not go see my doctor. "
.
Surely not for everything? That reminds me of Adrian Mole. pt |
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It's interesting. There are times I actively search for already-given advice in the form of offered information as an answer to a question, as it's typically 'to point' and easy to digest (not sure how good I am in asking for it)...
It's all about hearing a different angle on something, then weighing it up yourself surely?
If I see a different angle on something myself I often air it, I can't always help it. I'm the over-helpful guy at work sometimes.
pt |
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By *aitonel OP Man
over a year ago
Away for Christmas |
"Do you take your own advice?
I'm an awesome listener, I'm great as somebody to talk to about things. Level headed and great at advice, I can't promise it will work but it's always from a place that makes sense. Plus it usually does work out.
I do however absolutely fucking fail, more often than not, at using the same sense and heeding the advice I give to others. I mess shit up often.
I don't mean gut instinct and all that bollocks, christ that saying is insufferable... "listen to my gut, and it's never let me down". But doing or not doing something you would advise somebody else to do the opposite.
Never listen to a forum user period. If I need advice which I do not go see my doctor.
I don’t think he’s talking about medical advice. And I don’t think he’s talking about forums either. Just general I think. "
Indeed. Nor advice from others. |
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It is easier to give advice to someone else - you are able to look at the issues more dispassionately from the outside.
_Everyone_ thinks they are unique which is why giving advice to yourself is harder because you “know” that you are “special” and your circumstances are “unique”. You aren’t special and your issues are commonplace but your brain doesn’t want you to know that.
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By *piderBunnyCouple
over a year ago
Back of Nowhere and Beyond |
I apparently give good advice, am a good listener and help people consider many angles they might not have considered.
When it comes to me... I'm good at hearing advice, and sometimes can take ideas on board. But I'm also bad at acting on advice from others, or on my own advice. Possibly arrogance, possibly laziness. Who knows 
Posh |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
Depends. Matters of the heart my advice is usually from a past experience, which EVENTUALLY I learnt from, so I kind of over egg the pudding in getting people to listen to my advice, because I want them to avoid the drama, heartache etc I went through. Forgetting along the way that people are their own person and will do their own sweet thing regardless, and all we can do is be there to pick up the pieces and pass them a tissue.
Any other advice? Well I’ll help if I can but I feel my strengths lie in matters of the heart.
I don’t listen to my own advice, else I wouldn’t have such great advice to give!
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I don't think intuition is bollocks. There's studies on it. It's just very hard to measure. I was also friends with a paediatrician researcher who was interested in the field of parental intuition.
Let's see if I can describe what she said. She was like s-tier clever (sexy as fuck too). It's the culmination of experiential learning from the environment and/or intimate knowledge of the person, gathered over time: which is so nuanced and inexorably complex that it is impossible to articulate coherently. Something like that, I was trying really hard to stay focused.
I am an exceptional listener, I rarely advise though. I offer my opinions to those who ask and I trust to make up their own minds.
Do I take my own advice  : I think people repeat patterns of behaviour until they become aware of the blindspot they have in their self-awareness. Gestalt therapists call that unfinished business. I've got a few of them for sure. Knowing isn't enough. When I don't pay enough attention to my gut feelings - I tend to realise my error retrospectively. |
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"I don't think intuition is bollocks. There's studies on it. It's just very hard to measure"
A book that will always stick with me is The Gift Of Fear by Gavin de Becker. He talks about how genuine fear is often your brain noticing that something isn't right on a subconscious level. And that intuition is a gift you should listen to.
Not really related to taking your own advice but I was reminded by your comment. And it's such a good book. Everyone should read it.
J |
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"I don't think intuition is bollocks. There's studies on it. It's just very hard to measure
A book that will always stick with me is The Gift Of Fear by Gavin de Becker. He talks about how genuine fear is often your brain noticing that something isn't right on a subconscious level. And that intuition is a gift you should listen to.
Not really related to taking your own advice but I was reminded by your comment. And it's such a good book. Everyone should read it.
J"
Oh that does sound interesting. I’ll add it to my list Xx |
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"I don't think intuition is bollocks. There's studies on it. It's just very hard to measure. I was also friends with a paediatrician researcher who was interested in the field of parental intuition.
Let's see if I can describe what she said. She was like s-tier clever (sexy as fuck too). It's the culmination of experiential learning from the environment and/or intimate knowledge of the person, gathered over time: which is so nuanced and inexorably complex that it is impossible to articulate coherently. Something like that, I was trying really hard to stay focused.
I am an exceptional listener, I rarely advise though. I offer my opinions to those who ask and I trust to make up their own minds.
Do I take my own advice : I think people repeat patterns of behaviour until they become aware of the blindspot they have in their self-awareness. Gestalt therapists call that unfinished business. I've got a few of them for sure. Knowing isn't enough. When I don't pay enough attention to my gut feelings - I tend to realise my error retrospectively."
.
Intuition seems to me like weighing a number of often-general things up to get a general idea about something, then focusing in on the odds-on likelihood of something being something specific.
Some people may be more 'given' to doing that, but it can only come from experience in terms of it ever actually working I think.
pt |
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"I don't think intuition is bollocks. There's studies on it. It's just very hard to measure
A book that will always stick with me is The Gift Of Fear by Gavin de Becker. He talks about how genuine fear is often your brain noticing that something isn't right on a subconscious level. And that intuition is a gift you should listen to.
Not really related to taking your own advice but I was reminded by your comment. And it's such a good book. Everyone should read it.
J"
I looked at the situation as her intensely intelligent mind trying to rationalise something she felt to be true from her experience - make sense of it - through the lens of her knowledge. It turned me on. Well that amongst other things. 
I shall make a note of the book, thank you.
Over-thinking, over-analysing separates the body from the mind. Withering intuition leaving opportunities behind. Song in my head now. I'm such a Tool |
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"
.
Intuition seems to me like weighing a number of often-general things up to get a general idea about something, then focusing in on the odds-on likelihood of something being something specific.
Some people may be more 'given' to doing that, but it can only come from experience in terms of it ever actually working I think.
pt"
Sorry Pt missed that comment.
I think I look at that as more of a judgment call. As in consciously analysing the intuitive response.
This can be hard for someone with experience of trauma from abuse. Is the intuitive response rational or an irrational trigger?
So I looked at J's book for example. It talks about PINS (indicators of potential abusers) I think one was if someone makes a promise to never hurt you. If that's your experience then you can fall straight into a Negative Automatic Thought, and the probability assessment you refer to becomes 100%: the person then seeks only information to confirm that bias. Some even self-sabotage by asking for the promise, to begin with.
There's a therapy designed to deal with that: Mentalisation Based Therapy. To challenge the NAT before it takes hold. Recognise it is an irrational trigger, rather than an appropriate intuitive response. It's used often for people with BPD associated with abuse. |
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