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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Give up your swingers lifestyle if you fancied them and got together, but they did not like the idea of you sleeping around, would he have to accept that’s what you do and want, or would you stop if that made relationship work? |
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I can perceive of a relationship where we are so into each other there's no time or thought for anyone else - as I've been there.
How you have phrased felt like a demand. If you want to be with me then you can't have sex with anyone else type of deal. Which doesn't sit right with me.
What does that look like? I'm twiddling my thumbs at home and seeing them once a month? |
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When we first started out as a couple we had no idea how we’d feel watching each other with others and therefore did not know whether we’d have to face a dilemma if one of us no longer wanted to play with others.
Thankfully we both loved it and now we’d both walk away if either of us wanted to stop.
K |
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"Give up your swingers lifestyle if you fancied them and got together, but they did not like the idea of you sleeping around, would he have to accept that’s what you do and want, or would you stop if that made relationship work?"
Anyone's answer should depend on why they decided to swing in the first place.
If they honestly believe that they 'swing' because they do not believe in monogamy or that their sex life shouldn't depend on one other person then they should stay swinging.
If they pretend to want a swinging lifestyle and use the term to find sex and attention then they have nothing to lose by committing to the partner that wants monogomy.
Either way they shouldn't be manipulated by someone who is trying to force their needs and wants on them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not a swinger, but I really don't want a relationship with another man who can't embrace openness about sex and intimacy. I'm very happy to compromise on how it might work. |
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I've given up things including swinging, previously because the partner didn't like it. The relationship didn't work out.
I currently don't think I would give anything up again, just to please someone in a relationship.
Ideally I would rather meet someone in this lifestyle, and explore things together and at our pace.
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There's only so much time and space in this world imo, I'm not getting any younger either. I'm committed to what I'd doing right now (and have been a good while), but if my circumstances completely changed so could I I think.
pt |
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I don't sleep around. We are in this together and we do all extra-relationship engagements together (except if Hannah wants to meet another woman in which case I'm perfectly happy to have no involvement).
Would I go back to monogamy if she wanted? Yes, totally. She's more important to me than any sexual encounter with anybody else. Luke |
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