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I need to send a response…
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My dearest forumites,
I do beg your indulgence and request that you assist in a matter of some delicacy. Early yesterday morning, before even the great cock crowed, I received a missive from a young lady of this parish.
It was a delightful little ditty and yet written in a hand that I know was not her original. I am of great certainty that the letter was written by that naughty little scullery maid who got d*unk on Tuesday evening and she did proposition me in ways that made even the butler blush.
I wish to respond to said young lady (although I use that term advisedly) and desire assistance in informing the recipient that I would, indeed, by indebted to service her with the great member and take a preamble in her lady garden. I am however concerned that she might think I was too posh and I wish to convey my ardour in terms that she may more fully appreciate.
How might I frame said letter?
Yours…
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Dearest lady
I wisheth to stick thy tillytackle upeth ones chuff'eth and rummageth about in 'eer ladyships cavity of wonderous propiety.....please.
Don't forget the please so she can see your a proper gent like  |
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"Dearest lady
I wisheth to stick thy tillytackle upeth ones chuff'eth and rummageth about in 'eer ladyships cavity of wonderous propiety.....please.
Don't forget the please so she can see your a proper gent like "
But madam the issue at hand is that I am posh and, alas, I fear I might struggle to speak in a more common vernacular. |
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"In the immortal words of the bard,
"Oi! FaF?"
Almost Homeric in its epicness. Helen of Troy would weep at such eloquence.
I can do poetry, me!
Just call me Cyrano de Bergerac!"
You most certainly have the nose for it! |
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By *arl17Man
over a year ago
Central Portugal |
"My dearest forumites,
I do beg your indulgence and request that you assist in a matter of some delicacy. Early yesterday morning, before even the great cock crowed, I received a missive from a young lady of this parish.
It was a delightful little ditty and yet written in a hand that I know was not her original. I am of great certainty that the letter was written by that naughty little scullery maid who got d*unk on Tuesday evening and she did proposition me in ways that made even the butler blush.
I wish to respond to said young lady (although I use that term advisedly) and desire assistance in informing the recipient that I would, indeed, by indebted to service her with the great member and take a preamble in her lady garden. I am however concerned that she might think I was too posh and I wish to convey my ardour in terms that she may more fully appreciate.
How might I frame said letter?
Yours…
"
Send a message via your bow and arrow to yonder bird  |
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"Which message did she go for out of interest?
“Oi posh boy - want to do me behind the fire place?”"
Perfect. So what exactly do you want? Do you want us to dumb down a letter for you so a commoner would understand? |
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"My dearest forumites,
I do beg your indulgence and request that you assist in a matter of some delicacy. Early yesterday morning, before even the great cock crowed, I received a missive from a young lady of this parish.
It was a delightful little ditty and yet written in a hand that I know was not her original. I am of great certainty that the letter was written by that naughty little scullery maid who got d*unk on Tuesday evening and she did proposition me in ways that made even the butler blush.
I wish to respond to said young lady (although I use that term advisedly) and desire assistance in informing the recipient that I would, indeed, by indebted to service her with the great member and take a preamble in her lady garden. I am however concerned that she might think I was too posh and I wish to convey my ardour in terms that she may more fully appreciate.
How might I frame said letter?
Yours…
Send a message via your bow and arrow to yonder bird "
Cupid would live for eternity if he knew the pleasure his wooden tool had bequeathed! |
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"Which message did she go for out of interest?
“Oi posh boy - want to do me behind the fire place?”
Perfect. So what exactly do you want? Do you want us to dumb down a letter for you so a commoner would understand?"
Your assistance would be greatly appreciated. |
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"Can't wait for part 3"
If I were to be so fortunate I could only desire that that would entail an entanglement with the scullery maid _and_ the new cooks assistant. I see the way she gives me an extra sausage at breakfast. |
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"Which message did she go for out of interest?
“Oi posh boy - want to do me behind the fire place?”
Perfect. So what exactly do you want? Do you want us to dumb down a letter for you so a commoner would understand?
Your assistance would be greatly appreciated."
I'll take that as a backhanded compliment 
Let me know what you want to say and I'll translate it for you so she'll understand better |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
"In the immortal words of the bard,
"Oi! FaF?"
Almost Homeric in its epicness. Helen of Troy would weep at such eloquence.
I can do poetry, me!
Just call me Cyrano de Bergerac!
You most certainly have the nose for it!"
The nose knows! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can't wait for part 3
If I were to be so fortunate I could only desire that that would entail an entanglement with the scullery maid _and_ the new cooks assistant. I see the way she gives me an extra sausage at breakfast."
I'm sure we'll find out! |
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"Pictures. Just send her a diagram. Even scullery maids will understand the visuals.
One of the Van Goghs or a more physical embodiment like a Rodin?"
Don't overthink it. Poor thing won't have been to a decent finishing school so I'd keep it pretty basic. |
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"Can't wait for part 3
If I were to be so fortunate I could only desire that that would entail an entanglement with the scullery maid _and_ the new cooks assistant. I see the way she gives me an extra sausage at breakfast.
I'm sure we'll find out!"
My lady I share your excitement! |
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"Pictures. Just send her a diagram. Even scullery maids will understand the visuals.
One of the Van Goghs or a more physical embodiment like a Rodin?
Don't overthink it. Poor thing won't have been to a decent finishing school so I'd keep it pretty basic."
I do believe she has been to a good riding school though - I overheard the stable lads remarking as to how well she could mount. |
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"Just message her "ride me like you stole me".
Do you think I might use the riding crop to speed her along?
She might respond off the leg more with spurs!"
That's me out then. I have such delicate skin & bruise like a peach  |
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"Just message her "ride me like you stole me".
Do you think I might use the riding crop to speed her along?
Nothing ventured nothing gained, my good man "
A good filly responds well to a stern command on her rump! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well….whatcha think
With a dick pic attached. Job done.
I think you are right. I shall get a painter to create a likeness of the noble rod and attach it as a memento of my affection."
Oh a hard copy. Nice! |
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"Well….whatcha think
With a dick pic attached. Job done.
I think you are right. I shall get a painter to create a likeness of the noble rod and attach it as a memento of my affection.
Oh a hard copy. Nice! "
Love is eternal. |
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"Well….whatcha think
With a dick pic attached. Job done.
I think you are right. I shall get a painter to create a likeness of the noble rod and attach it as a memento of my affection.
Oh a hard copy. Nice! "
You don't look very well Shivs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well….whatcha think
With a dick pic attached. Job done.
I think you are right. I shall get a painter to create a likeness of the noble rod and attach it as a memento of my affection.
Oh a hard copy. Nice!
You don't look very well Shivs "
I’ve got no makeup on granny. I was going for a more natural look. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Away for Christmas |
"Well….whatcha think
With a dick pic attached. Job done.
I think you are right. I shall get a painter to create a likeness of the noble rod and attach it as a memento of my affection.
Oh a hard copy. Nice!
You don't look very well Shivs
I’ve got no makeup on granny. I was going for a more natural look. "
Mr Shiv has great legs and looks amazing in fishnets
(sorry for the derail!)
Back to the posh and common love story  |
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"Well….whatcha think
With a dick pic attached. Job done.
I think you are right. I shall get a painter to create a likeness of the noble rod and attach it as a memento of my affection.
Oh a hard copy. Nice!
You don't look very well Shivs
I’ve got no makeup on granny. I was going for a more natural look. "
Nanny always makes me take fish oil tablets and she says it does wonders for my looks and maybe they would help you?
I do wonder why she insists on making me drop my trousers and bending over when she inserts them though. |
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"Well….whatcha think
With a dick pic attached. Job done.
I think you are right. I shall get a painter to create a likeness of the noble rod and attach it as a memento of my affection.
Oh a hard copy. Nice!
You don't look very well Shivs
I’ve got no makeup on granny. I was going for a more natural look.
Mr Shiv has great legs and looks amazing in fishnets
(sorry for the derail!)
Back to the posh and common love story "
I am still at a loss as to how to properly proposition the young lady. I do not want to appear to forward although going forward is very much what I desire. |
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