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What's a random quote from a British comedy that you can't help but say every now and then
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Me . Lovely Jubilee. Happy Friday morning everyone  |
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Not a comedy as such but I still sometimes say "Flippin heck!" quoting Tucker Jenkins in Grange Hill. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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“…that horse becoming pope, for one.” |
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"Whips, Rimmed, massive massive whips"
Usually just before getting a severe thrashing with floggers, canes, whips in a dungeon |
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By *ermite12ukMan
over a year ago
Solihull and Brentwood |
He'll never sell ice cream, going that fast.
Oh, you are awful, but I like you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I WAS NEVER CONFUSED" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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'ello ello, London calling'
I don't believe it- Victor Meldrew |
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"I think you boys have had enough beans." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Gordon Bennett".... |
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By *ermite12ukMan
over a year ago
Solihull and Brentwood |
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy! Now, go away! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You plonker.. |
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I don't believe it!
Also
PLOPPERS!
And
I hear your a racist now father? |
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""I WAS NEVER CONFUSED""
A mouth's a mouth |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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“Skip to the end…” - from Spaced… very useful! |
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Goddamn these electric sex pants!
J |
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"Goddamn these electric sex pants!
J"
The train is arriving at the station  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At the moment...and it's a bit niche...
"It's a fucking disgrace"
https://youtu.be/6ZEkg5_jUOE?si=NfgW7FAO05hy3I-1 |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
I have a cunning plan...
Or
Have you tried turning it off and turning it on again? |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
"Good moaning!! "
Oh god, yes - I use this one too often! |
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Smoke me a kipper I'll be back before breakfast |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
Go on, go on, go on, go on, go on... |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
"Smoke me a kipper I'll be back before breakfast "
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"Shit on it"
"Last night I was stirred from my slumber by a crow calling three times. Caw... caw... well you know what a crow sounds like"
M |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Four candles |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know which accounts Busman follows on Twitter… I know if it’s on Very British Problems etc it’ll be on here within hours
For me it’s “Good moaning!”  |
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At work a number of years ago one of our managers was half German. Whenever we were talking about where a particular problem started, if he said "we didn't start it" one of us would shout out "yes you did, you invaded Poland!"
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"At work a number of years ago one of our managers was half German. Whenever we were talking about where a particular problem started, if he said "we didn't start it" one of us would shout out "yes you did, you invaded Poland!"
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Nice bit of xenophobia in the workplace,I'm sure he found it hilarious  |
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He did actually, he often played up to it. It was all meant in good humour
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"computer says no" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Adopting a terrible Irish accent……”ahhhh….right ya are then Ted” |
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It's rat a-la van... rat what's been run over by a van....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's rat a-la van... rat what's been run over by a van....
"
Sautée or fricassée |
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Ooh young man!
Tis merely a flesh wound
It's so unfaaaaaair
I don't like it/I want that one |
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By *zeroMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
Whenever someone starts talking about football I always ask "Did you see that ludicrous display last night?"
And always say "the thing about Arsenal is they always try and walk it in" if Arsenal are playing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't panic! Don't panic! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By *archelCouple
over a year ago
A field somewhere |
Don't panic Mr Manwaring |
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By *orny-DJMan
over a year ago
Leigh-on-Sea |
"Smoke me a kipper I'll be back before breakfast "
Smeee. Smeee Heeeee |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don’t mention the war! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t mention the war!"
- could apply to so many wars nowadays |
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Shit on it
Shit on the shitting thing
I have a plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel
It’s got cocaine in it , no I mean cinnamon (Mrs Doyle) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You stupid boy
Don't panic!
They don't like it up 'em!
We're doomed. |
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I've got a plan and it's as hot as my pants! |
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The Bucket(Bouquet) residence...
Lady of the house speaking |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The Bucket(Bouquet) residence...
Lady of the house speaking "
Ah I love this comedy |
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Loads of Partridge ones
Also throw in the odd 'yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, ... Windsmear!" from Bottom |
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"Go on, go on, go on, go on, go on..."
Careful now |
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When someone says " surely ..."
Always answer' don't call me Shirley |
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That would be an ecumenical matter. |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
Don’t let the bastards grind you down. I heard it on the comedy Porridge many years ago and I use it to motivate myself at work when a certain manager tries to speak to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Phenomenal.
In a high pitch Essex accent. I can't remember what sitcom its from. |
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"Loads of Partridge ones
Also throw in the odd 'yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, ... Windsmear!" from Bottom "
Smell my cheese.
Used regularly when out doing the food shopping.
Monkey tennis used when we are bored and she asks what can we do today. |
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"I AM THE BABY EATING BISHOP OF BATH AND WELLS" |
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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago
MADERIA Wherever I lay my hat |
I use Lee and Herring's 'moon on a stick' more often than I should.
And have used the Black adder phrase 'she goes like the privy door when the plague in in town' on a few occasions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whenever I go out to eat with friend, I always have to say "What's the blandest thing on the menu?" in an Indian accent from the "Going for an English" sketch in Goodness Gracious Me |
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"Whenever I go out to eat with friend, I always have to say "What's the blandest thing on the menu?" in an Indian accent from the "Going for an English" sketch in Goodness Gracious Me "
That's a hilarious sketch  |
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"He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy! Now, go away!"
Splitters |
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By *acktopervMan
over a year ago
Stourport-On-Severn |
No!!!...............i'm playing all the right notes.........just not necessarily in the right order. |
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Infamy!, infamy! ... they've all got it infamy! |
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By *KTim61Man
over a year ago
Tipton |
""Gordon Bennett"...."
I actually know Him lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I Want That One" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whenever I go out to eat with friend, I always have to say "What's the blandest thing on the menu?" in an Indian accent from the "Going for an English" sketch in Goodness Gracious Me
That's a hilarious sketch "
The whole show is amazing! I have a box set and rewatched it all recently and it hasn't missed a beat! |
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Incoming message from the big giant head. |
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By *ndy58Man
over a year ago
Birmingham |
It's a bit long ("ooh err missus", to quote another comic ) but this is one of my favourites:
"To Mr. C. Chaplin, Sennet Studios, Hollywood, California. Congrats stop. Have found only person in world less funny than you stop. Name: Baldrick stop. Signed, E. Blackadder stop". Oh, and put a P.S.: "Please, please, please... stop." |
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By *ermite12ukMan
over a year ago
Solihull and Brentwood |
Come in, and take that tit of your head. - The Young Ones. |
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By *NGthe2ndWoman
over a year ago
Here and there |
Oh my christ!
(Gavin and Stacey)
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By *iasubTV/TS
over a year ago
Ilkeston |
Lovely bit of squirrel jackie |
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Bona la douche...Only Fools and Horses 
You Plonker Rodders...Only fools and Horses
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Hands up who likes me ( young ones ) |
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You get born, you keep your head down and then you die. If you're lucky.
(Quote courtesy of Eddie Hitler in Bottom) |
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Euuhhh you have a woman's purse |
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Bob... You wouldn't say that's a man's name? |
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Computer says no
&
Suits you sir |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We didn't burn him |
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Have you tried turning it off and on again.
Ah go on.
Ahaaa.
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
I managed to use “is it on the trolley “ in a restaurant once…. Was so proud of myself!
Other than that.. anyone called “Dan” gets it Alan partridge style… |
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"Oh Ding Dong "
Only permissible if said in your best Leslie Phillips voice |
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He’s not the messiah - he’s a very naughty boy! |
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What's all this, we'll have no trouble here! |
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I have a cunning plan
The money was only resting in my account |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm a hungry boy. |
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"What's all this, we'll have no trouble here! "
A can I can't |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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He's not going to sell much ice cream going at that speed is he? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"water it sparingly.... Cunt"
From afterlife. |
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By *ie n MashCouple
over a year ago
Back in Malice |
Lawks a Lordy, my bottom's on fire!
Was it Monk de Willy de Honk?
Both from The Young Ones, Bambi episode. Normally quoted at least once a week. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Feck’ offf "
Nuns, nuns, reverse, reverse |
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By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago
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When ever I hurt myself. "Tis but a scratch". |
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By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago
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"Four naan Jeremy!"
A man of culture! Fuck Jeremy and his naan nonsense |
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" I hate you butler" On the buses. |
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"It's rat a-la van... rat what's been run over by a van....
Sautée or fricassée"
What’s the difference? |
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"jus' like that!!"
"With the gentlest of pushes.....the world fell out my arse"
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By *apinMan 12 weeks ago
London |
You're never going to meet Benjamin Netanyahu Lynn |
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I think there's been a r**e up there! I got his attention. Get their attention. #TheOffice |
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By *r TriomanMan 12 weeks ago
Chippenham Malmesbury area |
"Whenever I go out to eat with friend, I always have to say "What's the blandest thing on the menu?" in an Indian accent from the "Going for an English" sketch in Goodness Gracious Me
That's a hilarious sketch
The whole show is amazing! I have a box set and rewatched it all recently and it hasn't missed a beat!"
And the waiter that they called Jam-ez 😂 |
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"That's a smashing blouse" or "chocolate hobnob" |
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""That's a smashing blouse" or "chocolate hobnob" "
I've had an idea *necks pint*
What's your idea?
To drink that! |
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""That's a smashing blouse" or "chocolate hobnob"
I've had an idea *necks pint*
What's your idea?
To drink that! "
Gold
Frankenstein
And Grrr |
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By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago
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Careful now. |
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By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago
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Loads from Alan Partridge
Kiss my face
Jurassic Park
Back of the net
Who do you think you are
All done in his voice of course🤣 |
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By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago
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Go on go on go on |
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""That's a smashing blouse" or "chocolate hobnob"
I've had an idea *necks pint*
What's your idea?
To drink that!
Gold
Frankenstein
And Grrr"
I'll put the kettle on.... The floor! |
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By *luttTV/TS 12 weeks ago
Duns |
"“…that horse becoming pope, for one.”"
One of my favourites! Along with “security isn’t a dirty word” |
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""That's a smashing blouse" or "chocolate hobnob"
I've had an idea *necks pint*
What's your idea?
To drink that!
Gold
Frankenstein
And Grrr
I'll put the kettle on.... The floor!"
Oooooh Eddie! |
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""That's a smashing blouse" or "chocolate hobnob"
I've had an idea *necks pint*
What's your idea?
To drink that!
Gold
Frankenstein
And Grrr
I'll put the kettle on.... The floor!
Oooooh Eddie!"
Ooohhhhh Eddie
And every time you forget your lines you go ooohhhhh Eddie! |
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He is the Messiah...I should know, iv'e followed a few. |
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""That's a smashing blouse" or "chocolate hobnob"
I've had an idea *necks pint*
What's your idea?
To drink that!
Gold
Frankenstein
And Grrr
I'll put the kettle on.... The floor!
Oooooh Eddie!
Ooohhhhh Eddie
And every time you forget your lines you go ooohhhhh Eddie! "
Eddie, I think the pencil broke! |
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By *im494Man 12 weeks ago
Westhill |
""That's a smashing blouse" or "chocolate hobnob"
I've had an idea *necks pint*
What's your idea?
To drink that!
Gold
Frankenstein
And Grrr
I'll put the kettle on.... The floor!
Oooooh Eddie!
Ooohhhhh Eddie
And every time you forget your lines you go ooohhhhh Eddie! "
I see your point 😁 |
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""That's a smashing blouse" or "chocolate hobnob"
I've had an idea *necks pint*
What's your idea?
To drink that!
Gold
Frankenstein
And Grrr
I'll put the kettle on.... The floor!
Oooooh Eddie!
Ooohhhhh Eddie
And every time you forget your lines you go ooohhhhh Eddie!
I see your point 😁"
Why, have my trousers fallen down 😂 |
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By *im494Man 12 weeks ago
Westhill |
""That's a smashing blouse" or "chocolate hobnob"
I've had an idea *necks pint*
What's your idea?
To drink that!
Gold
Frankenstein
And Grrr
I'll put the kettle on.... The floor!
Oooooh Eddie!
Ooohhhhh Eddie
And every time you forget your lines you go ooohhhhh Eddie!
I see your point 😁
Why, have my trousers fallen down 😂"
No they're not they're up I can see they're up |
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""That's a smashing blouse" or "chocolate hobnob"
I've had an idea *necks pint*
What's your idea?
To drink that!
Gold
Frankenstein
And Grrr
I'll put the kettle on.... The floor!
Oooooh Eddie!
Ooohhhhh Eddie
And every time you forget your lines you go ooohhhhh Eddie!
I see your point 😁
Why, have my trousers fallen down 😂
No they're not they're up I can see they're up "
WOMBLES!! |
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By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago
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That was too many nips |
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""That's a smashing blouse" or "chocolate hobnob"
I've had an idea *necks pint*
What's your idea?
To drink that!
Gold
Frankenstein
And Grrr
I'll put the kettle on.... The floor!
Oooooh Eddie!
Ooohhhhh Eddie
And every time you forget your lines you go ooohhhhh Eddie!
Eddie, I think the pencil broke! "
This is a sex shop isn't it?
Yes
Great, I'll have 5 quids worth! |
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I think a few of us enjoy Bottom 😂😂 -mrs |
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By *im494Man 12 weeks ago
Westhill |
""That's a smashing blouse" or "chocolate hobnob"
I've had an idea *necks pint*
What's your idea?
To drink that!
Gold
Frankenstein
And Grrr
I'll put the kettle on.... The floor!
Oooooh Eddie!
Ooohhhhh Eddie
And every time you forget your lines you go ooohhhhh Eddie!
Eddie, I think the pencil broke!
This is a sex shop isn't it?
Yes
Great, I'll have 5 quids worth! "
In the drawing room |
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Ah aaah
Alan partridge
One of the locals has taken to grabbing my hand and doing this together repeatedly |
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"I think a few of us enjoy Bottom 😂😂 -mrs"
Such an amazing show 🤣 |
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In a Welsh accent, "oh Doris!" From Gavin and Stacy. My house is an echolalia nightmare really as me and my son both have ADHD, we are constantly just shouting random stuff and repeating noises we hear. My poor husband x
Mrs x |
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By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago
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This is a local shop for local people |
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By *apinMan 12 weeks ago
London |
Smell my cheese,
They're sex people,
That's why we fees beef burgers to swans because the fat helps them float.....really?....no you absolute cretin.
I do believe there's a no jeans policy.
Tell you wha6, tell you what it's 9½ thousand pounds.
Don't be so blue Peter.
Dan Dan Dan.
Get the cow off the boat. |
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"Not a comedy as such but I still sometimes say "Flippin heck!" quoting Tucker Jenkins in Grange Hill."
I sometimes randomly say in a slightly femine west African accent….
‘But Ro-Land , I’m jus trying to elp you’
Gets some odd looks….. |
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"I think a few of us enjoy Bottom 😂😂 -mrs
Such an amazing show 🤣"
I love it! Always wished I could have seen one of the live shows, especially hooligans island |
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"Bus wankers! "
love the inbetweeners |
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By *apinMan 12 weeks ago
London |
You don't live here anymore |
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"Bus wankers! "
Oh friieeennnnnnd, football friiieeeennnd |
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By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago
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Pretty much most quotes from the young ones |
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By *afkaMan 12 weeks ago
Nottingham (ish) |
Bored, bored, bored, bored, BORED |
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By *apinMan 12 weeks ago
London |
No....we haven't got a car phone |
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By *apinMan 12 weeks ago
London |
I'm not driving a mini metro |
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Two.............soups
Victoria Wood
https://youtu.be/Htvs1wXv1-0?si=p6klaDEhc0jqmqdP
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What ever takes the focus off the face. |
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