They say that a sharp knife is a safer knife in the kitchen. Well I invested in a decent water-stone sharpening kit and restored all my kitchen knife edges, leather stropped and OCD turned up to Eleven - Wilkinson could only wish their razor blades were as sharp as these knives. So how come I managed to cut right through my index fingernail and then took the end off my thumb within a minute of using one of these absolute liabilities?
What other lore is absolute BS?
Red sky at night? (Luton Airport carpark alight)
An apple a day keeps the doctor away?
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger?
Such BS..
 |
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"They say that a sharp knife is a safer knife in the kitchen. Well I invested in a decent water-stone sharpening kit and restored all my kitchen knife edges, leather stropped and OCD turned up to Eleven - Wilkinson could only wish their razor blades were as sharp as these knives. So how come I managed to cut right through my index fingernail and then took the end off my thumb within a minute of using one of these absolute liabilities?
What other lore is absolute BS?
Red sky at night? (Luton Airport carpark alight)
An apple a day keeps the doctor away?
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger?
Such BS..
"
Oh heck! But thank you for the Red Sky at Night one. I might borrow that 
Have you tried turning your thumb off and on again, OP?! |
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No A&E necessary but You-Tube Nats end-of-days bolognaise was a little more ‘robust’ than usual as I hadn’t realised I was bleeding and never found the tip of my thumb…
Meh, what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger..
I haven’t changed my prep style / knife techniques. Chopping, I admit, has become effortless… maybe too easy now… |
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"You haven't sharpened the wrong end have you???  "
Definitely kept it to just the blades… very soporific though.. Pretended I’m a master Samurai Sword maker.. and spent a good few hours having a Zen old time..
I now feel like I ought to phone a friend to tell them I’m about to prep veg and if I don’t check in with them afterwards assume I’m bleeding out on the kitchen floor.. |
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"Jesus 
Got any super glue laying around? "
I’ve had to glue my nail together to stop it catching and fortunate that my thumb stopped bleeding and just has a disconcerting flat spot on the tip now (using a phone touchscreen is really weird atm) but I’m going to order a catering sized pack of those Blue Plasters that I see in those fast-paced kitchen dramas. They seem to stay on after washing dishes.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jesus
Got any super glue laying around?
I’ve had to glue my nail together to stop it catching and fortunate that my thumb stopped bleeding and just has a disconcerting flat spot on the tip now (using a phone touchscreen is really weird atm) but I’m going to order a catering sized pack of those Blue Plasters that I see in those fast-paced kitchen dramas. They seem to stay on after washing dishes."
Right, I’ve read enough! Makes me feel a bit queasy  |
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"Jesus
Got any super glue laying around?
I’ve had to glue my nail together to stop it catching and fortunate that my thumb stopped bleeding and just has a disconcerting flat spot on the tip now (using a phone touchscreen is really weird atm) but I’m going to order a catering sized pack of those Blue Plasters that I see in those fast-paced kitchen dramas. They seem to stay on after washing dishes.
Right, I’ve read enough! Makes me feel a bit queasy "
I’ve got loads of leftovers… |
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"Jesus
Got any super glue laying around?
I’ve had to glue my nail together to stop it catching and fortunate that my thumb stopped bleeding and just has a disconcerting flat spot on the tip now (using a phone touchscreen is really weird atm) but I’m going to order a catering sized pack of those Blue Plasters that I see in those fast-paced kitchen dramas. They seem to stay on after washing dishes.
Right, I’ve read enough! Makes me feel a bit queasy "
You’re the fucking Shivs!! Don’t fuck with us, we’re the shivs.. we’ll cut you fuckers as soon as look at you. You’re supposed to be sharp and deadly 
Oh. Not the prison type improvised weapon ‘shiv’ then?
|
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"You never found the tip of your thumb?? "
No, I just assumed that the bolognaise wasn’t going to be consumed by anyone else so wasn’t too bothered. Hey, it wasn’t like I was going to stick it back on..  |
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"They say that a sharp knife is a safer knife in the kitchen. Well I invested in a decent water-stone sharpening kit and restored all my kitchen knife edges, leather stropped and OCD turned up to Eleven - Wilkinson could only wish their razor blades were as sharp as these knives. So how come I managed to cut right through my index fingernail and then took the end off my thumb within a minute of using one of these absolute liabilities?
What other lore is absolute BS?
Red sky at night? (Luton Airport carpark alight)
An apple a day keeps the doctor away?
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger?
Such BS..
"
Sharp knives won't approve your knife skills.
Most cuts happen with blunt knives.
Being a chef for 13 years, but I cut myself about 3 times only.
How much did you chop off?
|
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By *archelCouple
over a year ago
A field somewhere |
All my edge tools are sharper than a surgeons scalpel, and that's before they're honed to a mirror finish (no stropping)
I accidentally cut the back of my thumb without even realising, and have no hair left on arms or legs after a sharpening session |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jesus
Got any super glue laying around?
I’ve had to glue my nail together to stop it catching and fortunate that my thumb stopped bleeding and just has a disconcerting flat spot on the tip now (using a phone touchscreen is really weird atm) but I’m going to order a catering sized pack of those Blue Plasters that I see in those fast-paced kitchen dramas. They seem to stay on after washing dishes.
Right, I’ve read enough! Makes me feel a bit queasy
You’re the fucking Shivs!! Don’t fuck with us, we’re the shivs.. we’ll cut you fuckers as soon as look at you. You’re supposed to be sharp and deadly
Oh. Not the prison type improvised weapon ‘shiv’ then?"
Erm…no |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was cutting some wallpaper yesterday with a Stanley knife and a straight edge, caught the edge of my finger and genuinely considered carrying on so I didn’t fuck up the wallpaper |
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A friend of mine confided, after knowing me for some while, that when she first came to my house she was unnerved by axes, hatchets and saws, including a chain saw, prominently on view towards the end of my kitchen.
The reality is that I do a lot of tree work and it is the safest place to keep them, rather than in a shed.
I hope that the OP's liking for sharp knives doesn't freak out any of his guests! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You haven't sharpened the wrong end have you???
Definitely kept it to just the blades… very soporific though.. Pretended I’m a master Samurai Sword maker.. and spent a good few hours having a Zen old time..
I now feel like I ought to phone a friend to tell them I’m about to prep veg and if I don’t check in with them afterwards assume I’m bleeding out on the kitchen floor.."
You haven't been online for 2 hours! Hope you are ok OP..x |
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"All my edge tools are sharper than a surgeons scalpel, and that's before they're honed to a mirror finish (no stropping)
I accidentally cut the back of my thumb without even realising, and have no hair left on arms or legs after a sharpening session "
Tell me you’re a Cabinet maker / carpenter without saying it
|
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"You haven't sharpened the wrong end have you???
Definitely kept it to just the blades… very soporific though.. Pretended I’m a master Samurai Sword maker.. and spent a good few hours having a Zen old time..
I now feel like I ought to phone a friend to tell them I’m about to prep veg and if I don’t check in with them afterwards assume I’m bleeding out on the kitchen floor..
You haven't been online for 2 hours! Hope you are ok OP..x "
I’m okay, I’m okay.. |
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" A friend of mine confided, after knowing me for some while, that when she first came to my house she was unnerved by axes, hatchets and saws, including a chain saw, prominently on view towards the end of my kitchen.
The reality is that I do a lot of tree work and it is the safest place to keep them, rather than in a shed.
I hope that the OP's liking for sharp knives doesn't freak out any of his guests!"
A kitchen that smells of two-stroke 
All those edged tools and someone that doesn’t know you…
Doesn’t make for a comfortable “want to come back to my place” |
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"I was cutting some wallpaper yesterday with a Stanley knife and a straight edge, caught the edge of my finger and genuinely considered carrying on so I didn’t fuck up the wallpaper "
DIY is nothing if not blood, sweat and tears
Hopefully the blood stains are on the paste side.. |
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"They say that a sharp knife is a safer knife in the kitchen. Well I invested in a decent water-stone sharpening kit and restored all my kitchen knife edges, leather stropped and OCD turned up to Eleven - Wilkinson could only wish their razor blades were as sharp as these knives. So how come I managed to cut right through my index fingernail and then took the end off my thumb within a minute of using one of these absolute liabilities?
What other lore is absolute BS?
Red sky at night? (Luton Airport carpark alight)
An apple a day keeps the doctor away?
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger?
Such BS..
Sharp knives won't approve your knife skills.
Most cuts happen with blunt knives.
Being a chef for 13 years, but I cut myself about 3 times only.
How much did you chop off?
3 times in 13 years?!? How is that even possible?
Wait, you gotta be a pâtissier…
"
|
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"They say that a sharp knife is a safer knife in the kitchen. Well I invested in a decent water-stone sharpening kit and restored all my kitchen knife edges, leather stropped and OCD turned up to Eleven - Wilkinson could only wish their razor blades were as sharp as these knives. So how come I managed to cut right through my index fingernail and then took the end off my thumb within a minute of using one of these absolute liabilities?
What other lore is absolute BS?
Red sky at night? (Luton Airport carpark alight)
An apple a day keeps the doctor away?
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger?
Such BS..
Sharp knives won't approve your knife skills.
Most cuts happen with blunt knives.
Being a chef for 13 years, but I cut myself about 3 times only.
How much did you chop off?
3 times in 13 years?!? How is that even possible?
Wait, you gotta be a pâtissier…
"
Not as fast as you see in TV, but I have good knife skills.
I had more than 3 cuts, but I don't count nail or no blood cuts.
Bruises and burns happen more often.
Skin off when someone moves something out of usual place.
Bleeding dry skin too. |
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