FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > At the risk of making myself sound sad .....
At the risk of making myself sound sad .....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I really miss conversation, human voices, hearing someone else tell me about them and their day.
It's suddenly a lot quieter than it ever was on the conversation side of things. At one point I was called 3 times a day and when I tried to reduce that down it wasn't taken well.
If I hadn't had a counselling session today I'm not sure I'd have actually spoken to another human.
How often to do speak to another human? Either on the phone or in person.
I guess most do at work. But outside of that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ah I make sure to do it daily. And to physically see another human being in some way. I’m super paranoid about getting dementia and I’m trying really hard not to be a mad old cat lady  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Other than at work and my kids it's pretty much the norm I don't speak to anyone else.
But I prefer it that way, people just fill you full of shit anyway.
And it'd ruin my plans to become the crazy dog lady if I was too sociable.
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
We live with my mum so pretty regularly.
Although during Lockdown I did once get tearful after chatting the legs off the cashier at Farm Foods and then driving home I spotted a rainbow “thank you” sign made by some kids.
Was just so relieved to see someone different! It all got a bit overwhelming. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My work is customer facing, either by phone or in person, which I prefer. Plus work colleagues and other random humans..
In the past though, I have gone as long as a fortnight without uttering a word to another human being..Feels strange when it suddenly happens again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really miss conversation, human voices, hearing someone else tell me about them and their day.
It's suddenly a lot quieter than it ever was on the conversation side of things. At one point I was called 3 times a day and when I tried to reduce that down it wasn't taken well.
If I hadn't had a counselling session today I'm not sure I'd have actually spoken to another human.
How often to do speak to another human? Either on the phone or in person.
I guess most do at work. But outside of that? "
Don’t you speak to family members or friends? It healthy to have some form of communication |
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In person I see my parents every weekend and I volunteer on a Saturday so talk to people then. During the week I may speak to my sister or mum on the phone but that’s it. I chat constantly to my dogs and I don’t feel lacking. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having worked for myself for several years with says of little to no contact with others I now try to call people as often as I can rather than an email.
It could be 1 minute but it helps.
Find reasons to speak to people. Have conversations with people at the shops. Ask people about their day. Isolation isn't great for our minds. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP, happy to hear your voice.
I think I talk to my dog the most.
Since covid work patterns have changed, so I am mostly in my garden office - when I do go into a proper office I cant stop talking cos of proper human contact, which I am not sure is too greatly appreciated by clients who are paying for my time |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
Oh I can't be doing with strangers! Chatting to them I'd avoid even if I had nobody to talk to. Unless I need something I will avoid strangers - they tend to talk to me though!
People I know and like I can go a while without needing to chat. We all know I'm a grump.
But I'll never turn away a friend that wants to chat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Other than at work and my kids it's pretty much the norm I don't speak to anyone else.
But I prefer it that way, people just fill you full of shit anyway.
And it'd ruin my plans to become the crazy dog lady if I was too sociable.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Other than at work and my kids it's pretty much the norm I don't speak to anyone else.
But I prefer it that way, people just fill you full of shit anyway.
And it'd ruin my plans to become the crazy dog lady if I was too sociable.with you
"
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
Other than work I rarely speak to other humans in person. I may say hello to someone as they pass while I walk the dog or basic chat at the gym. Generally though it's me and the dog, he's a good listener though to be fair  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Within 7 minutes, loads of people replied to you OP.
Seems like you have quite the following right here right now, good intentioned, good strangers who mean well. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I really miss conversation, human voices, hearing someone else tell me about them and their day.
It's suddenly a lot quieter than it ever was on the conversation side of things. At one point I was called 3 times a day and when I tried to reduce that down it wasn't taken well.
If I hadn't had a counselling session today I'm not sure I'd have actually spoken to another human.
How often to do speak to another human? Either on the phone or in person.
I guess most do at work. But outside of that?
Don’t you speak to family members or friends? It healthy to have some form of communication "
I don't speak to any of the family I came from, and it's a lot better that way. It's been like that for decades with one exception that I now deeply regret and don't want to revisit ever again.
I'd take silence over that any day.
Friends are few but they are there, but they also have lives too
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Apart from Ailsa, I only speak to other people about 3 days out of 7, on average. I don’t talk to anyone on the phone anymore. Barely even reply to a WhatsApp. Mostly go to the cinema and cafes on my own. However, Monday just gone, I did go out for dinner with a friend. We talked for almost six hours, and it was wonderful. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Apart from a heating engineer yesterday it was last Wednesday and that was my dentist....can often be a couple of weeks without actual conversations with others. |
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It's just me so sometimes at the weekend when everyone else is busy with family I might not talk to anyone if I stay in. In the week I have work and my hobbies. Xmas I might not talk to a physical person for a few days or a week. I don't even think about anymore, it is what it is. Pity the first person I talk to after a period of silence |
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Outside of work and family.
I'd say every other day. Sometimes more sometimes less.
It's quality for me over quantity, when it comes to calls. Although I have some friends I know it's a serious commitment if we call - hours.
It's more the companionship I tend to miss. Hanging out, going for walks - the 'not talking' comfort. Hard to get that on the phone - possible though.
But it's cool, I tend to find something to occupy me. I don't get bored very often. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really miss conversation, human voices, hearing someone else tell me about them and their day.
It's suddenly a lot quieter than it ever was on the conversation side of things. At one point I was called 3 times a day and when I tried to reduce that down it wasn't taken well.
If I hadn't had a counselling session today I'm not sure I'd have actually spoken to another human.
How often to do speak to another human? Either on the phone or in person.
I guess most do at work. But outside of that?
Don’t you speak to family members or friends? It healthy to have some form of communication
I don't speak to any of the family I came from, and it's a lot better that way. It's been like that for decades with one exception that I now deeply regret and don't want to revisit ever again.
I'd take silence over that any day.
Friends are few but they are there, but they also have lives too
Join a group that caters to your hobby. Not sex..
"
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I have human contact 2-3 times a week with my son and my ex.
Occasionally meet a neighbour going down for a cigarette.
Off work right now due to injury.
Rarely get interaction on forums.
Usually I leave the TV on until I fall a sleep, so I'm not thinking too much.
That's all outside of work.
Personally I find therapy and antidepressants making me feel worse. I just walk it off or wing it mostly. Tell myself off about whinging. Hoping someone will fuck my brain out next day, so at least I don't need to worry about that part.
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The only people I spoke to today were the staff in the cafe and a couple of other dog walkers, but only a friendly hello.
If I don't leave the house, I don't talk to anyone all day. Can't say it really bothers me that much. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well done for your honesty. I kinda feel this too but differently. I feel like we have ruined socialising. I love it when old people start a conversation with me just on a walk or if I’m waiting somewhere, those people and beliefs in humanity just aren’t there any more. I am married with a family and work with people all day but I feel like I make a whole lot of small talk with people or helping friends, kids , other’s meet their needs but my mind is too busy to meet my own. I miss really deep conversations about things that really matter. It’s the worst feeling in the world being lonely and unsatisfied especially when you are around people everyday. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm a bit of an introvert so prefer my own company anyway.
But yeah, family mainly, my little one. Two work colleagues brought together by a bad boss so they're constantly bitching and whining over WhatsApp group calls - it's fun and funny though so I enjoy it.
One close friend whose level of comms I actually can't stand, but at least he plays a good game of Soul Calibur.
Aside from that, nada. |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
I used to talk to many people every day at work, I used to be a teacher. Now it's just some family members and a few friends, either on the phone or in person.
I also talk to a few people in a coffeeshop but is just passing the time of day and not really a conversation. |
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"I really miss conversation, human voices, hearing someone else tell me about them and their day.
It's suddenly a lot quieter than it ever was on the conversation side of things. At one point I was called 3 times a day and when I tried to reduce that down it wasn't taken well.
If I hadn't had a counselling session today I'm not sure I'd have actually spoken to another human.
How often to do speak to another human? Either on the phone or in person.
I guess most do at work. But outside of that? "
Speak to loads daily but do I really speak to them or is it just chat , work and banter .
I don’t really talk to anyone about family or life in general .. I have one or 2 friends but they live in another country and I had a friend here a few months ago but I thought I was being messed around and blew it ..
It’s tough at times but plod along  |
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By *r_PinkMan
over a year ago
london stratford |
"I really miss conversation, human voices, hearing someone else tell me about them and their day.
It's suddenly a lot quieter than it ever was on the conversation side of things. At one point I was called 3 times a day and when I tried to reduce that down it wasn't taken well.
If I hadn't had a counselling session today I'm not sure I'd have actually spoken to another human.
How often to do speak to another human? Either on the phone or in person.
I guess most do at work. But outside of that? "
I know how you feel  you have my sympathy on this one xxx
I am sending you cyber hugzzzzzzzzzzz |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had an existential crisis 2 decades ago thinking I had no "real" friends.
Real friends, I'd say, would be there for me whatever the costs. Real friends, I'd say, would drop everything for me. They'd come see me as often as I saw them. They'd go out of their way, as awkward as I could be, just to accommodate me.
I often thought I was a real friend to many. Truly narcissistic.
The reality was that I held everyone to such high standards, nobody could be that real friend. It meant everyone let me down in one way or another and so I'd decided nobody could be that.
I wonder if there's something similar when people talk about "real conversations" or "meaningful connections". How often do we have those conversations anyway? |
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Since lockdown and working from home I can go for days without speaking to someone. Today I spoke to two people, both short work calls. I speak to my parents on the phone weekly (I don't live near enough to visit regularly), see friends periodically. There are people in shops I go into a lot that I have a chat to (and who start the conversation, I'm not talking to random shop workers ). But I tend to message people rather than call them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bugger all for me at the minute and the ones I do speak to wind me up. Thats why I've popped up on the Forums, it's part of my new way of socialising for now.
I'm sort of repairing me at the moment and it's weird. I do crave a conversation and a cuddle, but theres not really a person who is right for the job.
I'm dealing with it by planning what I do want and how I'll get there. If I can't do it right now then I can plan it and do it a lot less stressfully when I'm ready. |
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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago
NORWAY Wherever I lay my hat |
Having been on the road since June there are many days when my only F2F interaction is ordering a drink or food. Or the superficial "where have you been/where are you headed next?" Online conversations with those I love or enjoy chatting with have become far more important to me than they were - particularly when in real time. But it's the hugs and physical contact I miss the most |
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I see a lot of people everyday at work and its the right amount for me. But having worked at home during covid I know how hard it is without adult interaction. Some of my remote colleagues feel the same. Can you meet people for a coffee some time OP? |
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"I see a lot of people everyday at work and its the right amount for me. But having worked at home during covid I know how hard it is without adult interaction. Some of my remote colleagues feel the same. Can you meet people for a coffee some time OP?"
As in friends or colleagues, that was not a chat up line, lol |
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I live alone and work from home so I make sure that I either speak to someone in person or by phone.
I realised a long time ago that if I didn’t make the effort then I’d spend days not speaking to anyone so now I make a point of it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We’ve never met, we live at opposite ends of the country and almost certainly never will, but if you feel like a light hearted conversation and I’m online, message me and if I possibly can, I will call. Sometimes home life and work get in the way but always worth a try. Sometimes I think it would be nice to have some quiet time but really can’t imagine going more than a day without talking. |
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By *pYaMan
over a year ago
Ready… |
I talk to people at work, customers call me but when they do they normally have a problem so conversations can be toxic (welcome to IT Support!).
When I get home my misses blurts about her day but never asks about mine!
We also care for an elderly relative who has developed dementia since she became house bound and researching dementia human contact and conversation is very important for keeping it away.
Happy to listen and talk to anyone |
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Was home alone for best part of a week recently - off work ill and housemate away. It was strange not to talk to anyone except the telly or myself. Not really a conversation but I felt like I needed to check my voice still worked! |
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"I really miss conversation, human voices, hearing someone else tell me about them and their day.
It's suddenly a lot quieter than it ever was on the conversation side of things. At one point I was called 3 times a day and when I tried to reduce that down it wasn't taken well.
If I hadn't had a counselling session today I'm not sure I'd have actually spoken to another human.
How often to do speak to another human? Either on the phone or in person.
I guess most do at work. But outside of that? "
I make it a priority in life to stay connected to others beyond work demands, alongside having time to myself as well.
I speak to another person every day face to face, in one way or another - family, friends, coffee shop, hobbies, walking, I often try to make sure I say hello to others if they look like they’re down or feeling lonely. |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
I work with at least 10 different people every single shift.
I have 3 kids and one husband.
I speak to people all day, every day. I am peopled out all day every day.
My days by myself in hotel rooms are absolute bliss. I can hear myself think. |
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I speak to a lot of people day to day, I’m quite a social person so I have always made time to speak with others or friends that I haven’t seen for a while. I do also try and meet people I know or have spoken to even if it’s just a tea, it’s good for the mind. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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After reading the responses it's kinda nice to know I'm not a complete sad case and it's quite normal.
I've gone from having a family of six where I was regularly talked out to three in the house and being single. So I guess I notice the difference.
I come from a family of 8 so I've always been used to a busy house I guess. God knows what it'll be like when my small ones fly the best too.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"After reading the responses it's kinda nice to know I'm not a complete sad case and it's quite normal.
I've gone from having a family of six where I was regularly talked out to three in the house and being single. So I guess I notice the difference.
I come from a family of 8 so I've always been used to a busy house I guess. God knows what it'll be like when my small ones fly the best too.
"
*Nest |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is talking to animals acceptable.
Being single, living the single life. I make up for lost conversation when a human body faces me. I talk incessantly and need to shut uo at times.
I love a good conversation wheter putting world to rights or nonsense or debating or singing |
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Apart from my kids and a few of friends outside of Fab world, and that’s mostly them talking, I pretty much don’t talk to anyone and I don’t mind it at all, in fact, I prefer it that way.
I was selectively mute growing up (still am if I can’t be bothered) and being an extremely introvert person plays the part, I think. |
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I make it my goal to make eye contact and chat with new people usually ladies yes when outcand about shopping in the library etc.
It's lovely to hear a new voice and get a smile makes me feel human and good too. |
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I miss conversations, I usually only speak on calls for work ( and it's work topics only), and seeing people dace to face. I work from home.
Im definitely struggling to engage in conversation when I around people, doesn't help that I'm shy and quiet anyway but it's got a lot worst this year. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really miss conversation, human voices, hearing someone else tell me about them and their day.
It's suddenly a lot quieter than it ever was on the conversation side of things. At one point I was called 3 times a day and when I tried to reduce that down it wasn't taken well.
If I hadn't had a counselling session today I'm not sure I'd have actually spoken to another human.
How often to do speak to another human? Either on the phone or in person.
I guess most do at work. But outside of that? "
You don’t sound sad at all, very self aware
I work part-time and see people sporadically , am an introvert so don’t ‘need’ others as such. I speak to my sister daily, live with my son but he does his own thing. I think our interactions with others pare down as we mature because we know our worth and much of these ‘relationships’ aren’t actually worth sh*t, but purely habitual |
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"I really miss conversation, human voices, hearing someone else tell me about them and their day.
It's suddenly a lot quieter than it ever was on the conversation side of things. At one point I was called 3 times a day and when I tried to reduce that down it wasn't taken well.
If I hadn't had a counselling session today I'm not sure I'd have actually spoken to another human.
How often to do speak to another human? Either on the phone or in person.
I guess most do at work. But outside of that? You don’t sound sad at all, very self aware
I work part-time and see people sporadically , am an introvert so don’t ‘need’ others as such. I speak to my sister daily, live with my son but he does his own thing. I think our interactions with others pare down as we mature because we know our worth and much of these ‘relationships’ aren’t actually worth sh*t, but purely habitual "
I think there is a lot of truth in this. I have far less people in my life these days, but the few who are still there enrich my life in positive ways, and I do my very best to enrich theirs in return. Quality. Not quantity. |
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You're not wrong. Working at home/Flexible working especially during and since COVID. Messaging. Group messaging etc has resulted in isolation for many. I have my daughter (and her mum very occasionally) plus the odd work call. It's crazy how the world has changed- my old workplace used to be like a chatty family of sorts and I miss it |
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"Is talking to animals acceptable.
Being single, living the single life. I make up for lost conversation when a human body faces me. I talk incessantly and need to shut uo at times.
I love a good conversation wheter putting world to rights or nonsense or debating or singing "
Talking to animals is acceptable as long as they don't talk back.
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"After reading the responses it's kinda nice to know I'm not a complete sad case and it's quite normal.
I've gone from having a family of six where I was regularly talked out to three in the house and being single. So I guess I notice the difference.
I come from a family of 8 so I've always been used to a busy house I guess. God knows what it'll be like when my small ones fly the best too.
"
You’re not alone , I come from a family of 7 siblings and a large greater family and friends in a small town in Ireland to having no relatives and working all hours here and swinging in part had helped …Also hence why I love GSD  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I really miss conversation, human voices, hearing someone else tell me about them and their day.
It's suddenly a lot quieter than it ever was on the conversation side of things. At one point I was called 3 times a day and when I tried to reduce that down it wasn't taken well.
If I hadn't had a counselling session today I'm not sure I'd have actually spoken to another human.
How often to do speak to another human? Either on the phone or in person.
I guess most do at work. But outside of that? You don’t sound sad at all, very self aware
I work part-time and see people sporadically , am an introvert so don’t ‘need’ others as such. I speak to my sister daily, live with my son but he does his own thing. I think our interactions with others pare down as we mature because we know our worth and much of these ‘relationships’ aren’t actually worth sh*t, but purely habitual "
That's so true.
I quite like my own company though too but I know after a couple of days I start feeling like I need to make an effort to go out or socialise otherwise my mood dips. |
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"I really miss conversation, human voices, hearing someone else tell me about them and their day.
It's suddenly a lot quieter than it ever was on the conversation side of things. At one point I was called 3 times a day and when I tried to reduce that down it wasn't taken well.
If I hadn't had a counselling session today I'm not sure I'd have actually spoken to another human.
How often to do speak to another human? Either on the phone or in person.
I guess most do at work. But outside of that? "
For me, I have human interaction daily, outside of work. Like you say, it’s crucial for mental health for me, plus I like to check in with others to make sure they are ok too. It’s a two way thing for sure. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
It’s a really good topic… thank you for opening up and sharing!
I speak to people in the office and thru work so my quota isn’t too bad.. outside of work speaks to the family a little but I scream at the tv a bit( blame sports! lol)
That is why I love going to swinging socials and clubs as it kinda forces you to talk to people… think of it as lots of little conversations rather than one big long one…. |
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"Apart from a heating engineer yesterday it was last Wednesday and that was my dentist....can often be a couple of weeks without actual conversations with others."
You have found a dentist 
A rare species, indeed! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really miss conversation, human voices, hearing someone else tell me about them and their day.
It's suddenly a lot quieter than it ever was on the conversation side of things. At one point I was called 3 times a day and when I tried to reduce that down it wasn't taken well.
If I hadn't had a counselling session today I'm not sure I'd have actually spoken to another human.
How often to do speak to another human? Either on the phone or in person.
I guess most do at work. But outside of that?
Don’t you speak to family members or friends? It healthy to have some form of communication
I don't speak to any of the family I came from, and it's a lot better that way. It's been like that for decades with one exception that I now deeply regret and don't want to revisit ever again.
I'd take silence over that any day.
Friends are few but they are there, but they also have lives too
"
WhatsApp friends group? I think having different hobbies and a variety of friends is healthy.
That being said I also enjoy my own company but at the same time I normally have a close friend at different period of time, usually someone am dating, actually close to some exs, it helps to talk. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The kids every day obviously, even if I just get a grunt in return. Then I do try and get out, be it work, a walk, swimming or visiting a shop and having some sort of chat. Even if it's a boring 'oh the weather's turned today, it's a bit more nippy than yesterday.' Etc etc otherwise I'd go insane. |
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