FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Ghosting just isn’t ok!
Ghosting just isn’t ok!
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"As a single guy I guess we get this a lot, but seriously, why can’t we all behave like adults and just be honest? Sounds from both single women and couples on here that no shows and ghosting are an increasing theme, any thoughts? " . It's not just on Fab, we ghost each other in life too. It's hard to multitask our attentions sometimes, and we just move on. Try not to do it (think who it might effect some ppl etc), but just take it on the chin when it comes. It's quite easy to have double standards on this one too I think. It's partly the easiest route because you can never really tell how people react. I never have too many expectations from Fab over anything, even contacts I've had for a while can ghost and let me down. Me to them too, one or two of them. Remember real friends are real friends (whether on Fab or off), don't confuse them with fabbers you've just shared a load of online chat with. Don't expect too much on Fab. Everything is hard online anyway so it makes sense not to make it feel worse for being online. Fab is kind of pain and pleasure, it's not anything like a free lunch sadly. But when you have that skin... pt | |||
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"Happens quite a lot for us! We try to be quite open and honest in our profile description and photos and after lots of back and forth messages and agreed meets we still get blocked randomly. In an ideal world there would be more honesty but unfortunately the ghosting is very annoying. " you guys look amazing so I’m glad it’s not just me but yes, seems an increasing concept! | |||
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 . Don‘t want to be wasting anyone’s time and people are allowed to make U-Turns whenever they feel like it. | |||
"As a single guy I guess we get this a lot, but seriously, why can’t we all behave like adults and just be honest? Sounds from both single women and couples on here that no shows and ghosting are an increasing theme, any thoughts? . It's not just on Fab, we ghost each other in life too. It's hard to multitask our attentions sometimes, and we just move on. Try not to do it (think who it might effect some ppl etc), but just take it on the chin when it comes. It's quite easy to have double standards on this one too I think. It's partly the easiest route because you can never really tell how people react. I never have too many expectations from Fab over anything, even contacts I've had for a while can ghost and let me down. Me to them too, one or two of them. Remember real friends are real friends (whether on Fab or off), don't confuse them with fabbers you've just shared a load of online chat with. Don't expect too much on Fab. Everything is hard online anyway so it makes sense not to make it feel worse for being online. Fab is kind of pain and pleasure, it's not anything like a free lunch sadly. But when you have that skin... pt " I think that's very true. It's something I struggle with due to ADHD and hyper-focus. I'm really trying to work on it. But I often forget to message people that are really important to me, because of it. I think it's hard to say were not responding ends and Ghosting begins, definitively. Sometimes it will depend on the frame of reference of the respective parties. So there's often quality of communication issue. People tend to want simple defined solutions to complex - anxiety provoking situations. Unfortunately, life isn't always that black and white. Rarely, I would contend. | |||
"As a single guy I guess we get this a lot, but seriously, why can’t we all behave like adults and just be honest? Sounds from both single women and couples on here that no shows and ghosting are an increasing theme, any thoughts? " never been ghosted  | |||
"As a single guy I guess we get this a lot, but seriously, why can’t we all behave like adults and just be honest? Sounds from both single women and couples on here that no shows and ghosting are an increasing theme, any thoughts? . It's not just on Fab, we ghost each other in life too. It's hard to multitask our attentions sometimes, and we just move on. Try not to do it (think who it might effect some ppl etc), but just take it on the chin when it comes. It's quite easy to have double standards on this one too I think. It's partly the easiest route because you can never really tell how people react. I never have too many expectations from Fab over anything, even contacts I've had for a while can ghost and let me down. Me to them too, one or two of them. Remember real friends are real friends (whether on Fab or off), don't confuse them with fabbers you've just shared a load of online chat with. Don't expect too much on Fab. Everything is hard online anyway so it makes sense not to make it feel worse for being online. Fab is kind of pain and pleasure, it's not anything like a free lunch sadly. But when you have that skin... pt I think that's very true. It's something I struggle with due to ADHD and hyper-focus. I'm really trying to work on it. But I often forget to message people that are really important to me, because of it. I think it's hard to say were not responding ends and Ghosting begins, definitively. Sometimes it will depend on the frame of reference of the respective parties. So there's often quality of communication issue. People tend to want simple defined solutions to complex - anxiety provoking situations. Unfortunately, life isn't always that black and white. Rarely, I would contend." I'm happy to see you are doing well on Fab mate, I am over the moon for you . ?? | |||
"As a single guy I guess we get this a lot, but seriously, why can’t we all behave like adults and just be honest? Sounds from both single women and couples on here that no shows and ghosting are an increasing theme, any thoughts? . It's not just on Fab, we ghost each other in life too. It's hard to multitask our attentions sometimes, and we just move on. Try not to do it (think who it might effect some ppl etc), but just take it on the chin when it comes. It's quite easy to have double standards on this one too I think. It's partly the easiest route because you can never really tell how people react. I never have too many expectations from Fab over anything, even contacts I've had for a while can ghost and let me down. Me to them too, one or two of them. Remember real friends are real friends (whether on Fab or off), don't confuse them with fabbers you've just shared a load of online chat with. Don't expect too much on Fab. Everything is hard online anyway so it makes sense not to make it feel worse for being online. Fab is kind of pain and pleasure, it's not anything like a free lunch sadly. But when you have that skin... pt I think that's very true. It's something I struggle with due to ADHD and hyper-focus. I'm really trying to work on it. But I often forget to message people that are really important to me, because of it. I think it's hard to say were not responding ends and Ghosting begins, definitively. Sometimes it will depend on the frame of reference of the respective parties. So there's often quality of communication issue. People tend to want simple defined solutions to complex - anxiety provoking situations. Unfortunately, life isn't always that black and white. Rarely, I would contend." I'm happy to see you are doing well on Fab mate, I am over the moon for you . | |||
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"People use the term ghosting far too often when it isn't. Ghosting is ending a personal relationship with no explanation or contact. As in you've met them and spent time with them. Talking to someone on here and them not replying/blocking or whatever is them just getting bored or moving on. It isn't ghosting! " Definitely this, people chat and get along, then sometimes the conversation falls by the wayside and people move on. It’s life it’s certainly not ghosting. But yeah to have contact, meet and see each other and then just stop all contact then that is definitely ghosting and not polite or nice. | |||
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"People use the term ghosting far too often when it isn't. Ghosting is ending a personal relationship with no explanation or contact. As in you've met them and spent time with them. Talking to someone on here and them not replying/blocking or whatever is them just getting bored or moving on. It isn't ghosting! " That's what I thought. Unless over time the term definition has been extended. | |||
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"I've never understood why this seems to be an issue for some people and not for others. As others have already said, conversations fizzle out and people move on. That's not ghosting if you've never met and built a relationship or friendship. Regarding no shows, I've been here coming up on 8 years and this is my fourth profile in that time. I've never had a no show in all that time and I'm far from unique because I know others who have never experienced it either and many people comment on these threads to say likewise. Anyone who finds they are constantly being stood up or conversations coming to a sudden end should take a step back and look at the common denominator. Not a lot of point in doing the same thing over and over expecting a different outcome. " I would have had no shows over the years of I didn't have alarm bells and consequently strategies to avoid no shows  | |||
"People use the term ghosting far too often when it isn't. Ghosting is ending a personal relationship with no explanation or contact. As in you've met them and spent time with them. Talking to someone on here and them not replying/blocking or whatever is them just getting bored or moving on. It isn't ghosting! That's what I thought. Unless over time the term definition has been extended." It's a word people throw about when others just simply get bored or move on. Like fake and time waster! | |||
"Welcome to Fab. Loads of crazy ppl on here. Loads of fakes, timewasters and fools. Part and parcel of this site." It's not the site. It's the people . | |||
"People use the term ghosting far too often when it isn't. Ghosting is ending a personal relationship with no explanation or contact. As in you've met them and spent time with them. Talking to someone on here and them not replying/blocking or whatever is them just getting bored or moving on. It isn't ghosting! That's what I thought. Unless over time the term definition has been extended. It's a word people throw about when others just simply get bored or move on. Like fake and time waster! " People calling others time wasters cos they don't get a fuck following a couple of messages just makes me howl with laughter  | |||
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 don’t let it knock you!
Mr | |||
"As a single guy I guess we get this a lot, but seriously, why can’t we all behave like adults and just be honest? Sounds from both single women and couples on here that no shows and ghosting are an increasing theme, any thoughts? " It happens. You don’t control what other people do or don’t do, so why choose to let it concern you? | |||
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"As a single guy I guess we get this a lot, but seriously, why can’t we all behave like adults and just be honest? Sounds from both single women and couples on here that no shows and ghosting are an increasing theme, any thoughts? " 1. People agreeing with you doesn't mean ghosting is on the rise. 2. Ending unsatisfactory contacts is adult behaviour. 3. If we were honest the people who were ghosted would have to recognise the REAL emotion behind their instead of trying to convince everybody they post out of a concern for manners and internet access. 4. If they were knee deep in clunge they wouldn't mention the ghosters. | |||
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"I like ghosting because I don’t think I owe strangers my time If I stop responding, realise that no response is a response and get over it. It was probably for a good reason too " Exactly this. | |||
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"The majority of people won't know or experience true ghosting to the extent they go on about it when it comes to online stuff. Random person you have said a few words to suddenly stops responding - get over it. It's nothing. Ships in the night. What you are really "upset" over is the loss of the hookup potential. Having people you have known for a long time and deeply, go ghost mode on you, that shit is impactful. That shit hurts and takes it's toll. I don't mean on random website either, but actual in person interaction. " I consider myself told off and corrected. I kinda like it. 
I hope you haven't suffered that Kai.  | |||
"The majority of people won't know or experience true ghosting to the extent they go on about it when it comes to online stuff. Random person you have said a few words to suddenly stops responding - get over it. It's nothing. Ships in the night. What you are really "upset" over is the loss of the hookup potential. Having people you have known for a long time and deeply, go ghost mode on you, that shit is impactful. That shit hurts and takes it's toll. I don't mean on random website either, but actual in person interaction. "  this. Having experienced this earlier this year, it hurts. | |||
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"The majority of people won't know or experience true ghosting to the extent they go on about it when it comes to online stuff. Random person you have said a few words to suddenly stops responding - get over it. It's nothing. Ships in the night. What you are really "upset" over is the loss of the hookup potential. Having people you have known for a long time and deeply, go ghost mode on you, that shit is impactful. That shit hurts and takes it's toll. I don't mean on random website either, but actual in person interaction. I consider myself told off and corrected. I kinda like it.
I hope you haven't suffered that Kai. "I'm rather good at telling people off now and again 
I'm not downplaying the validity of other people having been ghosted. There are different degrees of how much investment, but some people make out a few words said then no further contact is something special when the interaction barely got further than a greeting and introduction.
Unfortunately I have been through that. | |||
"People use the term ghosting far too often when it isn't. Ghosting is ending a personal relationship with no explanation or contact. As in you've met them and spent time with them. Talking to someone on here and them not replying/blocking or whatever is them just getting bored or moving on. It isn't ghosting! That's what I thought. Unless over time the term definition has been extended. It's a word people throw about when others just simply get bored or move on. Like fake and time waster! People calling others time wasters cos they don't get a fuck following a couple of messages just makes me howl with laughter "I tell men they're time wasters when they message me. I've turned into a right grump. | |||
"I think the term 'ghosting' had expanded to include the cessation of contact in any situation " Cessation of contact yes but without any final communication indicating they are pulling out. | |||
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"I think the term 'ghosting' had expanded to include the cessation of contact in any situation Cessation of contact yes but without any final communication indicating they are pulling out. " Yes, that's true. | |||
"People use the term ghosting far too often when it isn't. Ghosting is ending a personal relationship with no explanation or contact. As in you've met them and spent time with them. Talking to someone on here and them not replying/blocking or whatever is them just getting bored or moving on. It isn't ghosting! " Yes I agree the term is overused. However, I would also include talking and making arrangements (perhaps after chatting for ages regular), fixing a date and time and place and then on the day or just before not replying to messages or blocking. This has happened to me a few times. Once after a social. She suggested meeting to take if further, we made concrete plans and then on the day she blocked me for example. At least blocking you know where you stand. Sometimes no message with somebody chatted to a lot and worry something bad has happened to them. Fortunately it doesn't happen often and over the years got better at avoiding it. | |||
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"Ghosting, when a meet has been agreed or firmly suggested as very likely, displays an arrogant lack of respect and concern for other Fab members and reflects badly on the character of the ghoster. I like others have been ghosted, once it was just 3 hours before a meet where we had booked accomodation. She was seen later that night in a club. Whilst annoying, ghosting in the early stages of chat is to be expected. The "Anonymous on the Internet" generation has not had to develop the social skills of the older members where face to face negotiations were the norm. I suggested before Fab should have a pull out icon which sent the message "Sorry, I am no longer interested" and blocked the other party. Needless to say there were a plethora of opinions on that. "You weren't ghosted, you were stood up. It's been happening to people since Moses was a boy. | |||
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"Ghosting, when a meet has been agreed or firmly suggested as very likely, displays an arrogant lack of respect and concern for other Fab members and reflects badly on the character of the ghoster. I like others have been ghosted, once it was just 3 hours before a meet where we had booked accomodation. She was seen later that night in a club. Whilst annoying, ghosting in the early stages of chat is to be expected. The "Anonymous on the Internet" generation has not had to develop the social skills of the older members where face to face negotiations were the norm. I suggested before Fab should have a pull out icon which sent the message "Sorry, I am no longer interested" and blocked the other party. Needless to say there were a plethora of opinions on that.
You weren't ghosted, you were stood up. It's been happening to people since Moses was a boy."Wait Moses had a mobile phone? I don't think it was a phone probably a tablet | |||
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"Why do we always assume the ghoster is in the wrong too? If someone you’ve had a lengthy friendship/relationship with just disappears from your life, ask what you did that made that happen Can honestly say I’ve never been ghosted by someone that’s actually in my life. But I’ve ghosted some crazy people that have been in mine. Maybe your the problem " Interesting idea. Without any perceivable reason the ghosted party is responsible for being ghosted? Is this perhaps victim blaming? As a self confessed ghoster, what attitude of mind led you to think that you could simply cease communication without giving any reason. Not even a "Lost interest, fuck off loser" and block. That does not take long and would be great fun. | |||
"Why do we always assume the ghoster is in the wrong too? If someone you’ve had a lengthy friendship/relationship with just disappears from your life, ask what you did that made that happen Can honestly say I’ve never been ghosted by someone that’s actually in my life. But I’ve ghosted some crazy people that have been in mine. Maybe your the problem Interesting idea. Without any perceivable reason the ghosted party is responsible for being ghosted? Is this perhaps victim blaming? As a self confessed ghoster, what attitude of mind led you to think that you could simply cease communication without giving any reason. Not even a "Lost interest, fuck off loser" and block. That does not take long and would be great fun. "As I said above I've been a ghoster on a few occasions to women who were stalking others, sharing their private info and spreading malicious rumours about them. Telling them I wasn't interested in their shit anymore wasn't an option because I had already told them numerous times I didn't want to be involved. Giving them the satisfaction of telling them to fuck off wasn't going to work so completely ignoring them was the best option. On those occasions yes I very much do blame the victim. | |||
"Why do we always assume the ghoster is in the wrong too? If someone you’ve had a lengthy friendship/relationship with just disappears from your life, ask what you did that made that happen Can honestly say I’ve never been ghosted by someone that’s actually in my life. But I’ve ghosted some crazy people that have been in mine. Maybe your the problem Interesting idea. Without any perceivable reason the ghosted party is responsible for being ghosted? Is this perhaps victim blaming? As a self confessed ghoster, what attitude of mind led you to think that you could simply cease communication without giving any reason. Not even a "Lost interest, fuck off loser" and block. That does not take long and would be great fun. "It’s only victim blaming if you are, again, assuming the person being ghosted is the victim | |||
"No response is a response OP! I try to be polite to all messages. However some can't take no for an answer. Sometimes is easier to just delete/block" No response to an initial message is ok. If you are not interested, just delete the message; that is more positove if you read it in the first place. If they are a problem, delete and block. If you have chatted for days then a brief "good bye" is a reasonable expectation as ghosting is not a nice way to end. | |||
"The majority of people won't know or experience true ghosting to the extent they go on about it when it comes to online stuff. Random person you have said a few words to suddenly stops responding - get over it. It's nothing. Ships in the night. What you are really "upset" over is the loss of the hookup potential. Having people you have known for a long time and deeply, go ghost mode on you, that shit is impactful. That shit hurts and takes it's toll. I don't mean on random website either, but actual in person interaction. " I agree with all of that. Here's my little nuanced thing though. The last two paragraphs. Where's the point where one becomes the other? It's going to be about how each party perceives the relationship. Their frame of reference. Which can fluctuate internally and in response to the other person's behaviour. In many cases I think it's poor communication, which leads to a rupture, a shock change when a person realises the relationship was very different to what they perceived it to be. It sounds simple when it's articulated in two distinct categories. But that omits the grey area between the two and transition as a relationship develops. Not a criticism of you, I think you are right. I just think that's the area where issues often occur. We don't instantly leap from non-relationship to relationship it's a process. | |||
"As a single guy I guess we get this a lot, but seriously, why can’t we all behave like adults and just be honest? Sounds from both single women and couples on here that no shows and ghosting are an increasing theme, any thoughts? . It's not just on Fab, we ghost each other in life too. It's hard to multitask our attentions sometimes, and we just move on. Try not to do it (think who it might effect some ppl etc), but just take it on the chin when it comes. It's quite easy to have double standards on this one too I think. It's partly the easiest route because you can never really tell how people react. I never have too many expectations from Fab over anything, even contacts I've had for a while can ghost and let me down. Me to them too, one or two of them. Remember real friends are real friends (whether on Fab or off), don't confuse them with fabbers you've just shared a load of online chat with. Don't expect too much on Fab. Everything is hard online anyway so it makes sense not to make it feel worse for being online. Fab is kind of pain and pleasure, it's not anything like a free lunch sadly. But when you have that skin... pt I think that's very true. It's something I struggle with due to ADHD and hyper-focus. I'm really trying to work on it. But I often forget to message people that are really important to me, because of it. I think it's hard to say were not responding ends and Ghosting begins, definitively. Sometimes it will depend on the frame of reference of the respective parties. So there's often quality of communication issue. People tend to want simple defined solutions to complex - anxiety provoking situations. Unfortunately, life isn't always that black and white. Rarely, I would contend. I'm happy to see you are doing well on Fab mate, I am over the moon for you . " Thanks... I think ?? | |||
"Ghosting, when a meet has been agreed or firmly suggested as very likely, displays an arrogant lack of respect and concern for other Fab members and reflects badly on the character of the ghoster. I like others have been ghosted, once it was just 3 hours before a meet where we had booked accomodation. She was seen later that night in a club. Whilst annoying, ghosting in the early stages of chat is to be expected. The "Anonymous on the Internet" generation has not had to develop the social skills of the older members where face to face negotiations were the norm. I suggested before Fab should have a pull out icon which sent the message "Sorry, I am no longer interested" and blocked the other party. Needless to say there were a plethora of opinions on that.
You weren't ghosted, you were stood up. It's been happening to people since Moses was a boy.
Wait Moses had a mobile phone?
I don't think it was a phone probably a tablet "No-one?
I'll get my coat | |||
" You weren't ghosted, you were stood up. It's been happening to people since Moses was a boy. Wait Moses had a mobile phone? I don't think it was a phone probably a tablet
No-one?
I'll get my coat "It's a good'un Remember the commandments folks or there'll be fire and brimstone! | |||
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"Ghosting, when a meet has been agreed or firmly suggested as very likely, displays an arrogant lack of respect and concern for other Fab members and reflects badly on the character of the ghoster. I like others have been ghosted, once it was just 3 hours before a meet where we had booked accomodation. She was seen later that night in a club. Whilst annoying, ghosting in the early stages of chat is to be expected. The "Anonymous on the Internet" generation has not had to develop the social skills of the older members where face to face negotiations were the norm. I suggested before Fab should have a pull out icon which sent the message "Sorry, I am no longer interested" and blocked the other party. Needless to say there were a plethora of opinions on that.
You weren't ghosted, you were stood up. It's been happening to people since Moses was a boy.
Wait Moses had a mobile phone?
I don't think it was a phone probably a tablet " | |||
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"Welcome to Fab. Loads of crazy ppl on here. Loads of fakes, timewasters and fools. Part and parcel of this site. It's not the site. It's the people ." I agree. The interweb has a lot to answer for as regards allowing people to live life as narcissistic twats. Don't give the get over it/it's part of fab/they have the right to do that shtick either. It can be rude and hurtful. If you can be bothered to engage someone in texts/calls/messages then you should grow up , grow one and be bothered enough to let them know if you don't wanna take it further. The world doesn't revolve around you, etc.. Then again, sites like this enable such primadonnaish behaviour. Peace out. | |||
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"As a single guy I guess we get this a lot, but seriously, why can’t we all behave like adults and just be honest? Sounds from both single women and couples on here that no shows and ghosting are an increasing theme, any thoughts? " It happens to all of us .... | |||
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"The majority of people won't know or experience true ghosting to the extent they go on about it when it comes to online stuff. Random person you have said a few words to suddenly stops responding - get over it. It's nothing. Ships in the night. What you are really "upset" over is the loss of the hookup potential. Having people you have known for a long time and deeply, go ghost mode on you, that shit is impactful. That shit hurts and takes it's toll. I don't mean on random website either, but actual in person interaction. I consider myself told off and corrected. I kinda like it.
I hope you haven't suffered that Kai.
I'm rather good at telling people off now and again
I'm not downplaying the validity of other people having been ghosted. There are different degrees of how much investment, but some people make out a few words said then no further contact is something special when the interaction barely got further than a greeting and introduction.
Unfortunately I have been through that."Yep. On here means little to nothing. In real life when it happens it can be devastating, especially when it brings in others too. Cutting off people who you've previously cared about and who care about you, with no justification, is simply vindictive and cruel. It's one thing to lessen contact but another to pretend they no longer exist. | |||
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"People use the term ghosting far too often when it isn't. Ghosting is ending a personal relationship with no explanation or contact. As in you've met them and spent time with them. Talking to someone on here and them not replying/blocking or whatever is them just getting bored or moving on. It isn't ghosting! " | |||
"People use the term ghosting far too often when it isn't. Ghosting is ending a personal relationship with no explanation or contact. As in you've met them and spent time with them. Talking to someone on here and them not replying/blocking or whatever is them just getting bored or moving on. It isn't ghosting! " This | |||
I am not afraid of no ghost | |||
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"People use the term ghosting far too often when it isn't. Ghosting is ending a personal relationship with no explanation or contact. As in you've met them and spent time with them. Talking to someone on here and them not replying/blocking or whatever is them just getting bored or moving on. It isn't ghosting! " Exactly this. And it’s awful. It makes you question yourself and your judgement. | |||
"The majority of people won't know or experience true ghosting to the extent they go on about it when it comes to online stuff. Random person you have said a few words to suddenly stops responding - get over it. It's nothing. Ships in the night. What you are really "upset" over is the loss of the hookup potential. Having people you have known for a long time and deeply, go ghost mode on you, that shit is impactful. That shit hurts and takes its toll. I don't mean on random website either, but actual in person interaction. " Exactly this! I’ve been ghosted by someone I was really close to and it hurt like a mofo - mostly I think because I’m someone that needs closure, so not knowing the reason behind it pretty much broke me.
On the other hand though, if I arrange a social with someone and they either mess me around or can’t make it at the last minute I’m highly likely to block them and move on with my life and I’d expect the same outcome if I did that to someone. Thats definitely not ghosting imho | |||
"As others have said, if you've experienced ghosting for real - it has a serious long-term impact on a person. It still gets to me years later that someone who supposedly cared about me could just disappear from my life without a word. A chat on Fab ending before you'd like it to isn't ghosting. " This exactly. | |||
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"People use the term ghosting far too often when it isn't. Ghosting is ending a personal relationship with no explanation or contact. As in you've met them and spent time with them. Talking to someone on here and them not replying/blocking or whatever is them just getting bored or moving on. It isn't ghosting! That's what I thought. Unless over time the term definition has been extended. It's a word people throw about when others just simply get bored or move on. Like fake and time waster! People calling others time wasters cos they don't get a fuck following a couple of messages just makes me howl with laughter
I tell men they're time wasters when they message me. I've turned into a right grump. "I've reached that "grump" age and sometimes intolerant of men who can/will/do NOT read profiles. So I tell them in no uncertain terms | |||
"I think the term 'ghosting' had expanded to include the cessation of contact in any situation Cessation of contact yes but without any final communication indicating they are pulling out. " Tough titties | |||
"Ghosting, when a meet has been agreed or firmly suggested as very likely, displays an arrogant lack of respect and concern for other Fab members and reflects badly on the character of the ghoster. I like others have been ghosted, once it was just 3 hours before a meet where we had booked accomodation. She was seen later that night in a club. Whilst annoying, ghosting in the early stages of chat is to be expected. The "Anonymous on the Internet" generation has not had to develop the social skills of the older members where face to face negotiations were the norm. I suggested before Fab should have a pull out icon which sent the message "Sorry, I am no longer interested" and blocked the other party. Needless to say there were a plethora of opinions on that.
You weren't ghosted, you were stood up. It's been happening to people since Moses was a boy.
Wait Moses had a mobile phone?
I don't think it was a phone probably a tablet " wombat | |||
"Why do we always assume the ghoster is in the wrong too? If someone you’ve had a lengthy friendship/relationship with just disappears from your life, ask what you did that made that happen Can honestly say I’ve never been ghosted by someone that’s actually in my life. But I’ve ghosted some crazy people that have been in mine. Maybe your the problem Interesting idea. Without any perceivable reason the ghosted party is responsible for being ghosted? Is this perhaps victim blaming? As a self confessed ghoster, what attitude of mind led you to think that you could simply cease communication without giving any reason. Not even a "Lost interest, fuck off loser" and block. That does not take long and would be great fun. "There's no bloody victim, wtf? | |||
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"Well it’s rude " So are dick pics | |||
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"That’s unrelated. Being open and honest should be a basic thing, but obviously it’s not for people like you" You probably think people should reply to all their messages  .
And chill out, it was tongue-in-cheek, a play on words.
As for open and honest, that's my nature. However, if I decided to cease chat on here because it's going nowhere, that's nobody's business but mine.
People need to stop judging others by their own (often merely perceived) yardstick. | |||
"That’s unrelated. Being open and honest should be a basic thing, but obviously it’s not for people like you You probably think people should reply to all their messages .
And chill out, it was tongue-in-cheek, a play on words.
As for open and honest, that's my nature. However, if I decided to cease chat on here because it's going nowhere, that's nobody's business but mine.
People need to stop judging others by their own (often merely perceived) yardstick."Tbh I was a bit surprised to see your responses and didn't spot you were joking if indeed you are? | |||
"That’s unrelated. Being open and honest should be a basic thing, but obviously it’s not for people like you You probably think people should reply to all their messages .
And chill out, it was tongue-in-cheek, a play on words.
As for open and honest, that's my nature. However, if I decided to cease chat on here because it's going nowhere, that's nobody's business but mine.
People need to stop judging others by their own (often merely perceived) yardstick.
Tbh I was a bit surprised to see your responses and didn't spot you were joking if indeed you are?"If there are emoticons, yes. If not, no. | |||
"That’s unrelated. Being open and honest should be a basic thing, but obviously it’s not for people like you You probably think people should reply to all their messages .
And chill out, it was tongue-in-cheek, a play on words.
As for open and honest, that's my nature. However, if I decided to cease chat on here because it's going nowhere, that's nobody's business but mine.
People need to stop judging others by their own (often merely perceived) yardstick.
Tbh I was a bit surprised to see your responses and didn't spot you were joking if indeed you are?
If there are emoticons, yes. If not, no."I don't think everyone is gonna get that if I'm honest. | |||
"That’s unrelated. Being open and honest should be a basic thing, but obviously it’s not for people like you You probably think people should reply to all their messages .
And chill out, it was tongue-in-cheek, a play on words.
As for open and honest, that's my nature. However, if I decided to cease chat on here because it's going nowhere, that's nobody's business but mine.
People need to stop judging others by their own (often merely perceived) yardstick.
Tbh I was a bit surprised to see your responses and didn't spot you were joking if indeed you are?
If there are emoticons, yes. If not, no.
I don't think everyone is gonna get that if I'm honest. "I started a thread in the lounge about the lack of humour in the forum. | |||
"That’s unrelated. Being open and honest should be a basic thing, but obviously it’s not for people like you You probably think people should reply to all their messages .
And chill out, it was tongue-in-cheek, a play on words.
As for open and honest, that's my nature. However, if I decided to cease chat on here because it's going nowhere, that's nobody's business but mine.
People need to stop judging others by their own (often merely perceived) yardstick.
Tbh I was a bit surprised to see your responses and didn't spot you were joking if indeed you are?
If there are emoticons, yes. If not, no.
I don't think everyone is gonna get that if I'm honest.
I started a thread in the lounge about the lack of humour in the forum."i commented on it | |||
"When it’s someone you think you know well and have an open relationship with, it sucks. If you don’t want to see me and you’ve met another guy, just bloody tell me. " That's really shit.  | |||
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"I just find it incredibly frustrating and rude a thanks but no thanks takes a few seconds, I always look at it like so if some stranger says good morning to you in the st do you just ignore and walk by and do you say good morning back and carry on with your day if it’s the former you really do need a look in the mirror " I look in the mirror most mornings when getting ready. I hate strangers saying good morning to me!! | |||
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"I just find it incredibly frustrating and rude a thanks but no thanks takes a few seconds, I always look at it like so if some stranger says good morning to you in the st do you just ignore and walk by and do you say good morning back and carry on with your day if it’s the former you really do need a look in the mirror " Do you mean messages on Fab? I agree it's rude to not reply. However it's impossible. Messages from desperate men keep coming in, then they reply to my no thanks, then do I have to reply again, more messages from desperate men, still replying to the first few, more messages and some abuse because I asked them to read my profile, nice tits oh thanks, you're welcome, more messages, more abuse, thanks for your hi message I'm sorry I don't want your cock, no thanks, more hi messages, thanks but no, good luck, more replies because I replied, some ask to chat, I'm not here for chat, why are you here then, more desperate messages, hi, hi, hi, wuu2, suck this, not sure how to reply to that, hi...... | |||
"I just find it incredibly frustrating and rude a thanks but no thanks takes a few seconds, I always look at it like so if some stranger says good morning to you in the st do you just ignore and walk by and do you say good morning back and carry on with your day if it’s the former you really do need a look in the mirror I look in the mirror most mornings when getting ready. I hate strangers saying good morning to me!! " | |||
"I just find it incredibly frustrating and rude a thanks but no thanks takes a few seconds, I always look at it like so if some stranger says good morning to you in the st do you just ignore and walk by and do you say good morning back and carry on with your day if it’s the former you really do need a look in the mirror Do you mean messages on Fab? I agree it's rude to not reply. However it's impossible. Messages from desperate men keep coming in, then they reply to my no thanks, then do I have to reply again, more messages from desperate men, still replying to the first few, more messages and some abuse because I asked them to read my profile, nice tits oh thanks, you're welcome, more messages, more abuse, thanks for your hi message I'm sorry I don't want your cock, no thanks, more hi messages, thanks but no, good luck, more replies because I replied, some ask to chat, I'm not here for chat, why are you here then, more desperate messages, hi, hi, hi, wuu2, suck this, not sure how to reply to that, hi......" I get it after several messages that’s why god invented the block button | |||
"As a single guy I guess we get this a lot, but seriously, why can’t we all behave like adults and just be honest? Sounds from both single women and couples on here that no shows and ghosting are an increasing theme, any thoughts? " Giving it a word like ghosting makes it seem like a new thing. It isn't. It's about behaviour and manners. You can wrap any crap around it you want to excuse it. Like no reply is a reply. But it's simple. It's bad manners. Something some people seem to care less and less about, which makes the world a less kind and pleasant place to be in. | |||
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"I just find it incredibly frustrating and rude a thanks but no thanks takes a few seconds, I always look at it like so if some stranger says good morning to you in the st do you just ignore and walk by and do you say good morning back and carry on with your day if it’s the former you really do need a look in the mirror " Ah. But once someone replies it prevents any future filters working against the message sender. Nobody is owed a reply. Nobody requests messages from specific profiles. Just because you may feel you're suitable for them doesn't make it so. And would dozens of 'no thanks' messages really be helpful? | |||
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"I just find it incredibly frustrating and rude a thanks but no thanks takes a few seconds, I always look at it like so if some stranger says good morning to you in the st do you just ignore and walk by and do you say good morning back and carry on with your day if it’s the former you really do need a look in the mirror Ah. But once someone replies it prevents any future filters working against the message sender. Nobody is owed a reply. Nobody requests messages from specific profiles. Just because you may feel you're suitable for them doesn't make it so. And would dozens of 'no thanks' messages really be helpful? " This, plus it's the ones who don't read my profile I delete,why should I respond if they are not what I'm after and they'd know that if they had a quick read. | |||
"I just find it incredibly frustrating and rude a thanks but no thanks takes a few seconds, I always look at it like so if some stranger says good morning to you in the st do you just ignore and walk by and do you say good morning back and carry on with your day if it’s the former you really do need a look in the mirror Ah. But once someone replies it prevents any future filters working against the message sender. Nobody is owed a reply. Nobody requests messages from specific profiles. Just because you may feel you're suitable for them doesn't make it so. And would dozens of 'no thanks' messages really be helpful? This, plus it's the ones who don't read my profile I delete,why should I respond if they are not what I'm after and they'd know that if they had a quick read. " just don't click on them. They slide out your inbox after a while | |||
"That’s unrelated. Being open and honest should be a basic thing, but obviously it’s not for people like you You probably think people should reply to all their messages .
And chill out, it was tongue-in-cheek, a play on words.
As for open and honest, that's my nature. However, if I decided to cease chat on here because it's going nowhere, that's nobody's business but mine.
People need to stop judging others by their own (often merely perceived) yardstick.
Tbh I was a bit surprised to see your responses and didn't spot you were joking if indeed you are?
If there are emoticons, yes. If not, no.
I don't think everyone is gonna get that if I'm honest.
I started a thread in the lounge about the lack of humour in the forum."Yeah, I know. I just don't think that someone not getting that you're joking is a lack of humour. It's just crossed wires and Tbf ghosting is a serious topic isn't it? | |||
"I just find it incredibly frustrating and rude a thanks but no thanks takes a few seconds, I always look at it like so if some stranger says good morning to you in the st do you just ignore and walk by and do you say good morning back and carry on with your day if it’s the former you really do need a look in the mirror Ah. But once someone replies it prevents any future filters working against the message sender. Nobody is owed a reply. Nobody requests messages from specific profiles. Just because you may feel you're suitable for them doesn't make it so. And would dozens of 'no thanks' messages really be helpful? This, plus it's the ones who don't read my profile I delete,why should I respond if they are not what I'm after and they'd know that if they had a quick read. " They're the rude ones but then you see them pop up with a passive aggressive status | |||
"I just find it incredibly frustrating and rude a thanks but no thanks takes a few seconds, I always look at it like so if some stranger says good morning to you in the st do you just ignore and walk by and do you say good morning back and carry on with your day if it’s the former you really do need a look in the mirror Do you mean messages on Fab? I agree it's rude to not reply. However it's impossible. Messages from desperate men keep coming in, then they reply to my no thanks, then do I have to reply again, more messages from desperate men, still replying to the first few, more messages and some abuse because I asked them to read my profile, nice tits oh thanks, you're welcome, more messages, more abuse, thanks for your hi message I'm sorry I don't want your cock, no thanks, more hi messages, thanks but no, good luck, more replies because I replied, some ask to chat, I'm not here for chat, why are you here then, more desperate messages, hi, hi, hi, wuu2, suck this, not sure how to reply to that, hi...... I get it after several messages that’s why god invented the block button " On the 8th day God said "block after the first 'hi'. The menfolk will be happy with this." And so it was. | |||
"I just find it incredibly frustrating and rude a thanks but no thanks takes a few seconds, I always look at it like so if some stranger says good morning to you in the st do you just ignore and walk by and do you say good morning back and carry on with your day if it’s the former you really do need a look in the mirror Do you mean messages on Fab? I agree it's rude to not reply. However it's impossible. Messages from desperate men keep coming in, then they reply to my no thanks, then do I have to reply again, more messages from desperate men, still replying to the first few, more messages and some abuse because I asked them to read my profile, nice tits oh thanks, you're welcome, more messages, more abuse, thanks for your hi message I'm sorry I don't want your cock, no thanks, more hi messages, thanks but no, good luck, more replies because I replied, some ask to chat, I'm not here for chat, why are you here then, more desperate messages, hi, hi, hi, wuu2, suck this, not sure how to reply to that, hi...... I get it after several messages that’s why god invented the block button On the 8th day God said "block after the first 'hi'. The menfolk will be happy with this." And so it was." What do the atheists do? | |||
"That’s unrelated. Being open and honest should be a basic thing, but obviously it’s not for people like you You probably think people should reply to all their messages .
And chill out, it was tongue-in-cheek, a play on words.
As for open and honest, that's my nature. However, if I decided to cease chat on here because it's going nowhere, that's nobody's business but mine.
People need to stop judging others by their own (often merely perceived) yardstick.
Tbh I was a bit surprised to see your responses and didn't spot you were joking if indeed you are?
If there are emoticons, yes. If not, no.
I don't think everyone is gonna get that if I'm honest.
I started a thread in the lounge about the lack of humour in the forum.
Yeah, I know. I just don't think that someone not getting that you're joking is a lack of humour. It's just crossed wires and Tbf ghosting is a serious topic isn't it?"No! Not the use of ghosting here anyway. People stop chatting... diddums, they have changed their mind and don't wish to continue chatting. Not meeting after it's been arranged is something completely different. Ghosting in real life is serious. | |||
"I just find it incredibly frustrating and rude a thanks but no thanks takes a few seconds, I always look at it like so if some stranger says good morning to you in the st do you just ignore and walk by and do you say good morning back and carry on with your day if it’s the former you really do need a look in the mirror Do you mean messages on Fab? I agree it's rude to not reply. However it's impossible. Messages from desperate men keep coming in, then they reply to my no thanks, then do I have to reply again, more messages from desperate men, still replying to the first few, more messages and some abuse because I asked them to read my profile, nice tits oh thanks, you're welcome, more messages, more abuse, thanks for your hi message I'm sorry I don't want your cock, no thanks, more hi messages, thanks but no, good luck, more replies because I replied, some ask to chat, I'm not here for chat, why are you here then, more desperate messages, hi, hi, hi, wuu2, suck this, not sure how to reply to that, hi...... I get it after several messages that’s why god invented the block button On the 8th day God said "block after the first 'hi'. The menfolk will be happy with this." And so it was. What do the atheists do? " Moan? | |||
"Thanks guys, yeah incredibly frustrating, while of course I understand that situations change and I have no real right to be updated by someone, I do still feel that in a world where we’re glued to our phones it might be pretty easily be polite and say ‘sorry can’t make it’!! " Ghosting drives me insane. If you have a pre agreed date/ time/ location and check in on the day and they don’t even have the manners to say sorry I can’t or don’t want to it’s not on. The ghoster is wasting the ghostee’s time as being ready just doesn’t happen in a minute. | |||
"Thanks guys, yeah incredibly frustrating, while of course I understand that situations change and I have no real right to be updated by someone, I do still feel that in a world where we’re glued to our phones it might be pretty easily be polite and say ‘sorry can’t make it’!! Ghosting drives me insane. If you have a pre agreed date/ time/ location and check in on the day and they don’t even have the manners to say sorry I can’t or don’t want to it’s not on. The ghoster is wasting the ghostee’s time as being ready just doesn’t happen in a minute." I don't see the appeal personally. It's ok to say you've changed your mind. To deliberately string someone along is such a weird thing to do. I don't understand the enjoyment in it. | |||
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