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Do you approach women in person
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I personally need a drink to be direct with a lady.
I can be friendly and 'plant the seed' in day to day life but I'm never direct. Say for example asking for her number first time talking to her e.g in the gym.
Do you approach women in person?
How do you personally deal with rejection? |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
Generally no. I very rarely bother socialising much anymore, and I don't drink.
These days it's much more of a minefield, which is not a bad thing directly but approaching a woman to show interest is less about rejection and more about unwanted attention. It's risky as shit. Reject me all you want, I'm fine with that. But be thrown in as the unwanted attention and labeled as something else is not worth the effort.
I have no issue of women not wanting to be approached, most of the time neither do I! But it makes it all the more tricky to show interest. |
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"Generally no. I very rarely bother socialising much anymore, and I don't drink.
These days it's much more of a minefield, which is not a bad thing directly but approaching a woman to show interest is less about rejection and more about unwanted attention. It's risky as shit. "
I hear what you're saying. Thinking you may be causing harassment. The world swipes to meet now a days, but being traditional and asking women out in person isn't harassment... knowingly being persistent with an individual is harassment. |
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I hear what you're saying. Thinking you may be causing harassment. The world swipes to meet now a days, but being traditional and asking women out in person isn't harassment... knowingly being persistent with an individual is harassment."
Think how many opportunities are missed. I believe many women would be happier to be asked out in person, complimented and your chances would be higher.
It's something I know I'm missing as a man is chasing tail and trying to catch the best one. |
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"I'm surprised how little I'm chatted up in swinger clubs. Shame i love being flirted with. "
It's the modern era for you. I'm going to make it my mission to do more flirting and have a laugh.
There's definitely a gap in the market for it! |
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Yes always. What’s the worst that can happen. You get rejected or a husband (boyfriend) gets a little angry. Compliments and self depreciation generally saves the day.
If it’s not done in a dicky way, who doesn’t like feeling wanted. It doesn’t need to be crude or crass. |
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Nope. Apart from the crippling anxiety induced by approaching a complete stranger, the whole "hey I'm married but it's cool, she likes to get involved too sometime" conversation sounds like a nightmare 
LvM |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nah, I never approach women in public as I assume they just want to go about their day. It's also a fine line between flirty and creepy and I'm not handsome enough for it to be interpreted as the former |
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"Nope. Apart from the crippling anxiety induced by approaching a complete stranger, the whole "hey I'm married but it's cool, she likes to get involved too sometime" conversation sounds like a nightmare
LvM"
Exactly this. I don’t think the I’m married but it’s okay she doesn’t mind and likes to join conversation plays anywhere. Even on here a lot are sceptical. |
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"Nope. Apart from the crippling anxiety induced by approaching a complete stranger, the whole "hey I'm married but it's cool, she likes to get involved too sometime" conversation sounds like a nightmare
LvM
Exactly this. I don’t think the I’m married but it’s okay she doesn’t mind and likes to join conversation plays anywhere. Even on here a lot are sceptical. "
I'm sure the place to do it and have a flirt is at clubs/events especially the events dedicated to couples |
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"Nah, I never approach women in public as I assume they just want to go about their day. It's also a fine line between flirty and creepy and I'm not handsome enough for it to be interpreted as the former"
I've seen personality outshine looks many times I'd say go for gold |
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"Yes always. What’s the worst that can happen. You get rejected or a husband (boyfriend) gets a little angry. Compliments and self depreciation generally saves the day.
If it’s not done in a dicky way, who doesn’t like feeling wanted. It doesn’t need to be crude or crass. "
Fair play confidence shines through along with personality. I'm upping my game and getting my confidence up. |
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No I don't think I ever have really, as in a stranger with no non-verbal cues?
I've found in life generally, if women don't approach directly (rare but welcomed). They have subtle ways of catching attention 'letting on' as my wife would call it. That a Jamaican expression?
Sometimes not so subtle, but then still not directly explicit either. I think that's my favourite approach. I can think of a few that have squarely put themselves in my line of sight like: oi notice me. That always makes me smile. It's like: let's cut the crap shall we? Sugar spun sisters usually. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nah, I never approach women in public as I assume they just want to go about their day. It's also a fine line between flirty and creepy and I'm not handsome enough for it to be interpreted as the former
I've seen personality outshine looks many times I'd say go for gold"
Replace handsome with personable and the same would apply  |
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"Such a shame. But it’s the way of the world nowadays unfortunately. Would never feel comfortable telling someone she looks great in a public setting ie pub /night out . Would be considered encroaching. Guess I’m old school but I hark back to the old days when complimenting in person was a thing "
I guess it's not as normalised but doesn't mean it you'd have no success. Just got to be able to deal with rejection.
I think keeping it light hearted and having a laugh is ideal and that way if you ever bump into them again it won't be as awkward. |
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"I stopped approaching women in person out of choice especially when most of them weren't interested"
I guess its easier said than done approaching women. Some women are gold diggers but finding a nice lady I'm sure you'd have great success |
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"1. Approach women in person - no, I'm bloody terrifed of rejection.
2. Handle rejection well - see answer to question 1."
There's ways to do it indirectly so you won't feel rejected... I'm no expert though |
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"Ive had quite a few males approach Me in real life.One became a best friend and another is My ex of 14 years."
Can you go in detail on a ladies perspective?
Obviously more chance of finding out whether you're compatible...
Do you think you'd look at the man different if he has the bottle to approach you? |
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Actually yes, just in normal situations though, sparking up random conversations. If the vibe seems right, ill ask if they fancy a drink sometime, if it doesn't it ends up just being a nice conversation and nothing more. |
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"Actually yes, just in normal situations though, sparking up random conversations. If the vibe seems right, ill ask if they fancy a drink sometime, if it doesn't it ends up just being a nice conversation and nothing more. "
Fair play man sounds good. I need to take a page out of your book |
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"Ive had quite a few males approach Me in real life.One became a best friend and another is My ex of 14 years.
Can you go in detail on a ladies perspective?
Obviously more chance of finding out whether you're compatible...
Do you think you'd look at the man different if he has the bottle to approach you?"
We just connected straight away as if we were old friends.. It doesn't always end that way. I have had some guys chat me up while I'm waiting for a bus. And they stank of alcohol. |
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"Actually yes, just in normal situations though, sparking up random conversations. If the vibe seems right, ill ask if they fancy a drink sometime, if it doesn't it ends up just being a nice conversation and nothing more.
Fair play man sounds good. I need to take a page out of your book"
If there's an obvious way to start a conversation go for it, I'm a naturally chatty person when in the right mood. So will have loads of chats with random whether it be someone I'm attracted to or not, the conversations just end in different ways if there attraction is there. |
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"Actually yes, just in normal situations though, sparking up random conversations. If the vibe seems right, ill ask if they fancy a drink sometime, if it doesn't it ends up just being a nice conversation and nothing more.
Fair play man sounds good. I need to take a page out of your book
If there's an obvious way to start a conversation go for it, I'm a naturally chatty person when in the right mood. So will have loads of chats with random whether it be someone I'm attracted to or not, the conversations just end in different ways if there attraction is there. "
Yes I've missed a few opportunities in the gym recently so definitely going to make it my mission to put myself out there. Good advice like you say just be chatty and it'll all follow |
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I don't handle it well when people approach me in real life. Not badly like "wtf you psycho go away", more like, "I don't know you, why are you talking to me, how can I extricate myself from this situation?"
Occasionally I realise after the fact that I'm being flirted with, but in the moment it's just like, random person is randomly inflicting meaningless jabber on me. How do I escape? |
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