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Mental Health Under 6
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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago
Chelmsford |
So called leading doctors say not enough is being done for anxiety and ADHD in 2-4 year olds. Well I have news for these prats. Not enough is being done for children between 5 and 18.Makes Toms blood boil
What's going on here guys. It's all over the news |
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More labels to excuse poor parenting and bad behaviour.
You start therapies for kids of this age they will not understand and it'll probably amplify bad behaviour.
Of course treatment for kid's on the spectrum is needed . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a father of a 5year neurodivergent daughter, it more than makes my blood boil. It breaks my stony cold heart. It keeps me awake at night constantly. Mrs Wick and I are fighting a constant battle with service providers that are allowing her to slip through not cracks or gaps in the system…but fucking great chasms in it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The kids aren’t the problem, the parents are
At that age you don’t need therapy, you need good parents
The fact anyone can just squeeze out a kid with zero knowledge on how to be a parent is why
We don’t need therapy for kids. We need lessons for parents |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not enough is being done to support families and children with ADHD. Most of the services families access for support are not statutory and rely on insecure funding from various places just to be able to provide support.
Children with needs need support and parents needs support. Not everyone just knows how to parent children with needs. |
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"The kids aren’t the problem, the parents are
At that age you don’t need therapy, you need good parents
The fact anyone can just squeeze out a kid with zero knowledge on how to be a parent is why
We don’t need therapy for kids. We need lessons for parents "
What a fucking ignorant comment. |
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"The kids aren’t the problem, the parents are
At that age you don’t need therapy, you need good parents
The fact anyone can just squeeze out a kid with zero knowledge on how to be a parent is why
We don’t need therapy for kids. We need lessons for parents "
And this is the reason that parents with autistic children regularly want to beat people's faces when they make that comment  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The kids aren’t the problem, the parents are
At that age you don’t need therapy, you need good parents
The fact anyone can just squeeze out a kid with zero knowledge on how to be a parent is why
We don’t need therapy for kids. We need lessons for parents
And this is the reason that parents with autistic children regularly want to beat people's faces when they make that comment "
Resorting to violence over something you disagree with is probably a trait you’ll hand down to your children |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The kids aren’t the problem, the parents are
At that age you don’t need therapy, you need good parents
The fact anyone can just squeeze out a kid with zero knowledge on how to be a parent is why
We don’t need therapy for kids. We need lessons for parents "
As a guy that’s had his daughters autistic ways recognised by nursery, her early years teachers, and our own knowledge……….palmed off around the services.
How fucking dare you suggest that it’s something lacking in our parenting. |
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"The kids aren’t the problem, the parents are
At that age you don’t need therapy, you need good parents
The fact anyone can just squeeze out a kid with zero knowledge on how to be a parent is why
We don’t need therapy for kids. We need lessons for parents
And this is the reason that parents with autistic children regularly want to beat people's faces when they make that comment "
Nah I don’t get angry. I just think years ago I probably was that sad ignorant person and I’m ashamed of that. People who have gone through it or are going through it are the only people who have valid opinions in my eyes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That age range is incredibly tricky. As someone who works with children in that bracket I find that a lot of parents do not realise that their children may have an ASD or be ND. There is not one child in my class of 30 this year that does not have additional needs whether this be SEN or emotional. Not one care plan between then, no staments of special educational needs and getting these are a long process. Without them their is no additional funding. It's heart breaking. |
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"That age range is incredibly tricky. As someone who works with children in that bracket I find that a lot of parents do not realise that their children may have an ASD or be ND. There is not one child in my class of 30 this year that does not have additional needs whether this be SEN or emotional. Not one care plan between then, no staments of special educational needs and getting these are a long process. Without them their is no additional funding. It's heart breaking. "
It is a young age. It took a lot of fight, a lot of years and a lot of money to even get anywhere.
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"The kids aren’t the problem, the parents are
At that age you don’t need therapy, you need good parents
The fact anyone can just squeeze out a kid with zero knowledge on how to be a parent is why
We don’t need therapy for kids. We need lessons for parents
As a guy that’s had his daughters autistic ways recognised by nursery, her early years teachers, and our own knowledge……….palmed off around the services.
How fucking dare you suggest that it’s something lacking in our parenting. "
I think what's needed is properly qualified and trained people to be able to diagnose between bad behaviour and a condition (if that's the correct word I apologise if not) that requires support and the necessary changes implemented as soon as possible.
No one can deny that there's lazy parents who throw a label at a kid to excuse shoddy parenting however the flip side must be incredibly frustrating and difficult if you have an undiagnosed child but no support.
But sticking a child in therapy at that age will just cause additional trauma especially if it's not therapy they need but people who understand their condition. |
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"The kids aren’t the problem, the parents are
At that age you don’t need therapy, you need good parents
The fact anyone can just squeeze out a kid with zero knowledge on how to be a parent is why
We don’t need therapy for kids. We need lessons for parents
As a guy that’s had his daughters autistic ways recognised by nursery, her early years teachers, and our own knowledge……….palmed off around the services.
How fucking dare you suggest that it’s something lacking in our parenting. "
Those that have no experience of the system will never understand. It’s a constant battle, fighting for help everyday. It’s draining. As parents we really have to step up for our kids. Ignore the ignorant comments xx
J x |
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"The kids aren’t the problem, the parents are
At that age you don’t need therapy, you need good parents
The fact anyone can just squeeze out a kid with zero knowledge on how to be a parent is why
We don’t need therapy for kids. We need lessons for parents
And this is the reason that parents with autistic children regularly want to beat people's faces when they make that comment
Resorting to violence over something you disagree with is probably a trait you’ll hand down to your children "
And being a person who doesn't understand disabled people is an ignorant trait you'll pass down to yours. Don't comment on things you plainly know fuck all about. |
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"The kids aren’t the problem, the parents are
At that age you don’t need therapy, you need good parents
The fact anyone can just squeeze out a kid with zero knowledge on how to be a parent is why
We don’t need therapy for kids. We need lessons for parents
As a guy that’s had his daughters autistic ways recognised by nursery, her early years teachers, and our own knowledge……….palmed off around the services.
How fucking dare you suggest that it’s something lacking in our parenting.
Those that have no experience of the system will never understand. It’s a constant battle, fighting for help everyday. It’s draining. As parents we really have to step up for our kids. Ignore the ignorant comments xx
J x"
I agree. It’s hard not to bite but you have to think these people know nothing so why take any notice. I don’t disagree that some of it is bad behaviour/bad parenting skills though and that it’s easy to just throw a label around sometimes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Services for all ages are terrible. We and our sons nursery have concerns. We believe he is neuro diverse as a lot of things he does are indicative of autism, however can't even get the health visitor to come out for his routine 2 year check and we have left messages regarding our concerns as his nursery have asked us to do so |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just from the other side of it, it's hard to diagnose children of a very young age. Doctors need to let them develop naturally until they are at an age where the traits can be identified as ADHD more clearly. |
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"That age range is incredibly tricky. As someone who works with children in that bracket I find that a lot of parents do not realise that their children may have an ASD or be ND. There is not one child in my class of 30 this year that does not have additional needs whether this be SEN or emotional. Not one care plan between then, no staments of special educational needs and getting these are a long process. Without them their is no additional funding. It's heart breaking. "
Why do you think additional needs are to prevalent now |
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"Just from the other side of it, it's hard to diagnose children of a very young age. Doctors need to let them develop naturally until they are at an age where the traits can be identified as ADHD more clearly. "
I agree. I think 2 is very early to be diagnosing mental health conditions. |
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"Just from the other side of it, it's hard to diagnose children of a very young age. Doctors need to let them develop naturally until they are at an age where the traits can be identified as ADHD more clearly. "
This is also true. The process is very much based on what a child did/didn’t do aged 5-6. Which is often hard to remember when your child is much older
J x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So called leading doctors say not enough is being done for anxiety and ADHD in 2-4 year olds. Well I have news for these prats. Not enough is being done for children between 5 and 18.Makes Toms blood boil
What's going on here guys. It's all over the news"
When you say not enough you mean not enough funds go into?
Read the story of Oliver McGowan. Now all doctors, clinicians and care workers have mandatory training because of lack of knowledge and negligence towards mental health starting with epilepsy.
It hit a raw nerve with me this week because this was only in 2015. Government funds lack but so does knowledge. |
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Sighs it's incredibly sad to see all this. I saw this myself all my childhood.
My brother had autism and he used to be locked up in his bedroom and I locked up in mine as there was fuck all support from the social services.
It was only when he dragged my mother across the yard by her hair because she wouldn't give him keys (he loved keys) and she required hospital treatment that social services got into action. That was when he was 13.
I've worked in care since and it got worse and worse ever since so I quit about 5 years ago simply because I couldn't take it mentally anymore. Also most care are provided by private companies who is profit driven.
Erm there are so many professionals that are sticking it out and fighting to get everyone cared for.
Just really undervalued people and forgotten lot. It really breaks my heart.
Ruby x |
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"The kids aren’t the problem, the parents are
At that age you don’t need therapy, you need good parents
The fact anyone can just squeeze out a kid with zero knowledge on how to be a parent is why
We don’t need therapy for kids. We need lessons for parents
And this is the reason that parents with autistic children regularly want to beat people's faces when they make that comment
Resorting to violence over something you disagree with is probably a trait you’ll hand down to your children "
Don't be a dick , man. |
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"Sighs it's incredibly sad to see all this. I saw this myself all my childhood.
My brother had autism and he used to be locked up in his bedroom and I locked up in mine as there was fuck all support from the social services.
It was only when he dragged my mother across the yard by her hair because she wouldn't give him keys (he loved keys) and she required hospital treatment that social services got into action. That was when he was 13.
I've worked in care since and it got worse and worse ever since so I quit about 5 years ago simply because I couldn't take it mentally anymore. Also most care are provided by private companies who is profit driven.
Erm there are so many professionals that are sticking it out and fighting to get everyone cared for.
Just really undervalued people and forgotten lot. It really breaks my heart.
Ruby x"
That’s so awful. One of my good friends at school had an autistic brother and I remember being so scared of him. It’s so so sad now to look back at that. Thankfully things have changed. Just not enough x |
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I'm old enough to remember when if you were different in any way at school they just lumped everyone together in what was then called the "remedial" class ranging from severely autistic children to just naughty kid's,I got pushed in because of undiagnosed learning difficulties and trauma caused me to act up.
Things have now thankfully progressed but clearly not enough. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That age range is incredibly tricky. As someone who works with children in that bracket I find that a lot of parents do not realise that their children may have an ASD or be ND. There is not one child in my class of 30 this year that does not have additional needs whether this be SEN or emotional. Not one care plan between then, no staments of special educational needs and getting these are a long process. Without them their is no additional funding. It's heart breaking.
Why do you think additional needs are to prevalent now "
Because of inclusion plus there is better understanding and education about Neuroendiversity and childrens emotional development/wellbeing. Years ago any child with SEN was in a "special school" or unit.
So many adults of my generation are now realising that they are ND. Maybe if they had early interventions lots of prison time, suicides and self harming could have been avoided.. |
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My daughter was diagnosed with ASD at the age of three years old, and it was very straightforward diagnosis agreed upon with a team of specialists, healthcare and education professionals.
Still, it took us over 6 years and multiple court appeals to get her support she needs.
Just last week, on the top of her coexisting conditions, she has been finally diagnosed with ADHD, and this was based on multiple factors and confirmed by QB test, so they don’t just throw the “labels” lightly.
I think ignorant comments like a few above, and judging parents on their parental skills and children by their apparent “bad behaviour” are equally harmful and insulting. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"The kids aren’t the problem, the parents are
At that age you don’t need therapy, you need good parents
The fact anyone can just squeeze out a kid with zero knowledge on how to be a parent is why
We don’t need therapy for kids. We need lessons for parents "
The challenges are so different now. Yes, if mums are more interested in their Instagram and their children, and the children will turn out bad, but where do you think all these bad parents came from?
Generations of been avoiding talking about mental health, denying it’s even real, not having therapy, so grandparents problems are passed on to their own children |
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"That age range is incredibly tricky. As someone who works with children in that bracket I find that a lot of parents do not realise that their children may have an ASD or be ND. There is not one child in my class of 30 this year that does not have additional needs whether this be SEN or emotional. Not one care plan between then, no staments of special educational needs and getting these are a long process. Without them their is no additional funding. It's heart breaking. "
Absolutely, we're having to support parents at the start of a long journey. We're helping them to see what we see when they don't always want to. We're putting support into place that we receive zero funding for and having to explain to the governors and local authority why this is putting us into deficit.
And then you get some of the insensitive comments like you do in this thread. My blood is permanently boiling.
J |
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"My daughter was diagnosed with ASD at the age of three years old, and it was very straightforward diagnosis agreed upon with a team of specialists, healthcare and education professionals.
Still, it took us over 6 years and multiple court appeals to get her support she needs.
Just last week, on the top of her coexisting conditions, she has been finally diagnosed with ADHD, and this was based on multiple factors and confirmed by QB test, so they don’t just throw the “labels” lightly.
I think ignorant comments like a few above, and judging parents on their parental skills and children by their apparent “bad behaviour” are equally harmful and insulting. "
Yup I agree. My parents did the best they could even doing things that may raise eyebrows nowadays like locking bedrooms.
People shouldn't be so quick to judge as people don't walk around with their stories on their foreheads.
Ruby x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"At that age you don’t need therapy, you need good parents
The fact anyone can just squeeze out a kid with zero knowledge on how to be a parent is why "
I have a feeling you're projecting some hurtful personal life experiences, which would make me empathise with how you're coming across right now - which isn't very nice.
Sadly whilst this may be a troubled childhood issue you're carrying with you, it isn't the case for anyone with children in this position. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Children, adults, system, funding, it’s everything.
As a 39 year old I’m still on the fringes of the system and get zero support. If anything I get blamed, accused and sanctioned for the way my brain processes data. Also now I have a physical health issue it gets blamed on my brain wiring so I do not get treated and am sent to mental health. Mental health discharge me and that means no one can treat me because gp says it’s mental health and mental health said discharged. Now I’m starting to be concerned about my mental health!
We’re all on our own and expecting any effective help is, in my opinion, setting yourself up for disappointment. What matters is having a good network of family and friends with a broad spread of skills and knowledge to help and support you. Sadly the system will tire them out too and you are left fighting the system alone and certain you are going mad. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Anyone who thinks getting their child diagnosed is a doddle just hasn't been through the process because there's nothing easy about it. There aren't enough people. There aren't enough resources. If we don't support kids when they're growing up, what kind of country are we? |
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I apologise if my comments seem insensitive.
I should have elaborated.
As said previously I came from being undiagnosed with dyslexia and dyscalculia as a child and lumped in a class to play with fuzzy felt and sticky paper.
Also as an adult I've seen things from a different perspective people who are spoiling things for genuine people working in social housing for ten years opened my eyes for people who are trying to get money, claiming their kid has ADHD then you see them giving the kid red bull and chocolate for breakfast and then complain when they go nuts.
You then go a few doors down to the family who are struggling to get any support for a genuine case and no-one listens.
So I do think some parents are too quick to label something in order to get something.
But I think this isn't as easy today I left social housing a few years ago.
I cannot imagine how hard it must be,a parent knows their child and will know if something is not quite right, this doesn't mean that the child should be excluded in any way just supporting differently.
Help with diagnosis and support with the right pathway to follow is a must.
What is the earliest age a child can be diagnosed?
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By *olf and RedCouple
over a year ago
Nr Cardiff or at Chams Darlaston |
There isn’t enough funding or resources for mental health across all ages. One of my relatives daughters has autism and cerebral palsy. When out and about I’ve watched in disbelief as some people look at her really judgementally saying she needs to get her child to behave more appropriately. She never feels good enough , but she’s doing a fantastic job. As a society we need to be more supportive and less quick to judge. |
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" Children, adults, system, funding, it’s everything.
As a 39 year old I’m still on the fringes of the system and get zero support. If anything I get blamed, accused and sanctioned for the way my brain processes data. Also now I have a physical health issue it gets blamed on my brain wiring so I do not get treated and am sent to mental health. Mental health discharge me and that means no one can treat me because gp says it’s mental health and mental health said discharged. Now I’m starting to be concerned about my mental health!
We’re all on our own and expecting any effective help is, in my opinion, setting yourself up for disappointment. What matters is having a good network of family and friends with a broad spread of skills and knowledge to help and support you. Sadly the system will tire them out too and you are left fighting the system alone and certain you are going mad."
That's the problem with multiple diagnoses it's like revolving doors. I've got many health issues, mental and physical health issues and all hidden.
At least I'm on first name terms with most of health professionals I see!
Sometimes I find it helps just going on forums and just insanely rant.
It's frustrating but I unfortunately became whatever and try to live this out. Money only can get you so far.
Hugs x  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I apologise if my comments seem insensitive.
I should have elaborated.
As said previously I came from being undiagnosed with dyslexia and dyscalculia as a child and lumped in a class to play with fuzzy felt and sticky paper.
Also as an adult I've seen things from a different perspective people who are spoiling things for genuine people working in social housing for ten years opened my eyes for people who are trying to get money, claiming their kid has ADHD then you see them giving the kid red bull and chocolate for breakfast and then complain when they go nuts.
You then go a few doors down to the family who are struggling to get any support for a genuine case and no-one listens.
So I do think some parents are too quick to label something in order to get something.
But I think this isn't as easy today I left social housing a few years ago.
I cannot imagine how hard it must be,a parent knows their child and will know if something is not quite right, this doesn't mean that the child should be excluded in any way just supporting differently.
Help with diagnosis and support with the right pathway to follow is a must.
What is the earliest age a child can be diagnosed?
"
It was this sentence....
More labels to excuse poor parenting and bad behaviour.
Yet people jumped in someone else and you seem to have got less flack. But it's not too different from what someone else said.
And then in this comment you're pinpointing people in social housing doing things to get stuff.
Why pinpoint social housing??? I'm pretty sure it's not limited to just social housing!
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"I apologise if my comments seem insensitive.
I should have elaborated.
As said previously I came from being undiagnosed with dyslexia and dyscalculia as a child and lumped in a class to play with fuzzy felt and sticky paper.
Also as an adult I've seen things from a different perspective people who are spoiling things for genuine people working in social housing for ten years opened my eyes for people who are trying to get money, claiming their kid has ADHD then you see them giving the kid red bull and chocolate for breakfast and then complain when they go nuts.
You then go a few doors down to the family who are struggling to get any support for a genuine case and no-one listens.
So I do think some parents are too quick to label something in order to get something.
But I think this isn't as easy today I left social housing a few years ago.
I cannot imagine how hard it must be,a parent knows their child and will know if something is not quite right, this doesn't mean that the child should be excluded in any way just supporting differently.
Help with diagnosis and support with the right pathway to follow is a must.
What is the earliest age a child can be diagnosed?
It was this sentence....
More labels to excuse poor parenting and bad behaviour.
Yet people jumped in someone else and you seem to have got less flack. But it's not too different from what someone else said.
And then in this comment you're pinpointing people in social housing doing things to get stuff.
Why pinpoint social housing??? I'm pretty sure it's not limited to just social housing!
"
Because that's my personal observation from my experience seeing it for myself in social housing it probably happens elsewhere but I can't comment on that.
And labelling is part of today's society it's the world we live in.
The point I was making BADLY is there's some devious lazy People who are causing issues for genuine people who need help with diagnosis and support with their children and young adults.
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"I apologise if my comments seem insensitive.
I should have elaborated.
As said previously I came from being undiagnosed with dyslexia and dyscalculia as a child and lumped in a class to play with fuzzy felt and sticky paper.
Also as an adult I've seen things from a different perspective people who are spoiling things for genuine people working in social housing for ten years opened my eyes for people who are trying to get money, claiming their kid has ADHD then you see them giving the kid red bull and chocolate for breakfast and then complain when they go nuts.
You then go a few doors down to the family who are struggling to get any support for a genuine case and no-one listens.
So I do think some parents are too quick to label something in order to get something.
But I think this isn't as easy today I left social housing a few years ago.
I cannot imagine how hard it must be,a parent knows their child and will know if something is not quite right, this doesn't mean that the child should be excluded in any way just supporting differently.
Help with diagnosis and support with the right pathway to follow is a must.
What is the earliest age a child can be diagnosed?
"
Earliest age? How long is a bit of string?
My brother himself was diagnosed at 8 and that after years of showing incredible violence against his parents and his sister. So really it's down to the system which is unfortunately is broken.
Like many of you know earlier and more accurate diagnosis is the better outcome.
However it can differ in genders. As can present differently. As male children are more likely to be diagnosed earlier than female children. And if you have additional disabilities good luck with the diagnosis. As professionals are really cautious and will only give it after months of assessments.
And all this while the child continues to develop.
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"Honestly disappointed but not surprised at some of these comments. "
It’s similar to your thread. I honestly believe that unless someone is experiencing something 24/7 nobody can possibly get it. Which is why I try not to get angry and just hope they never have to experience it x |
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The old adage of 'don't tell me how it is until you've walked in my shoes' would be good here.
There's normally I reason I don't comment in these batshit crazy, click bait type of threads. My blood boils at the ineptitude and ignorance of some people.
Having a disabled child is a blessing and a curse, and getting adequate treatment and diagnosis is a constant battle. This does provide a useful platform to block/ignore people.
I lost my cool earlier, but until you've experienced life with a hidden disability, perhaps you'd like to keep your nuanced, jaded views to yourselves. |
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Early diagnosis of these issues can make a massive impact on how children develop. Getting assessments etc when you know your child is struggling is a nightmare. It's especially hard when you've grown up in an era where these issues weren't on the radar and where just presumed thick or just weird. The impact of this follows you into adulthood.
But in general in agreement with one of the above posters that the whole sector is woefully underfunded. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly disappointed but not surprised at some of these comments.
It’s similar to your thread. I honestly believe that unless someone is experiencing something 24/7 nobody can possibly get it. Which is why I try not to get angry and just hope they never have to experience it x "
I think parent or not some comments are just… idk. I don’t like it. I think I’m in a foul mood after my own thread though probably so I won’t comment any more |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
That's the problem with multiple diagnoses it's like revolving doors. I've got many health issues, mental and physical health issues and all hidden.
At least I'm on first name terms with most of health professionals I see!
Sometimes I find it helps just going on forums and just insanely rant.
It's frustrating but I unfortunately became whatever and try to live this out. Money only can get you so far.
Hugs x "
Yes forums generally are good
I’m with complex care so one point of contact now which is better but still like riding on square wheels.
Thank you as well 
There is some positivity and a plan in me. There’s a rant brewing too later I think. Tablets are coming up to full side effects now though so off to outer space for a couple of hours. 4 more weeks of these til I should get my mind returned. |
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"Honestly disappointed but not surprised at some of these comments.
It’s similar to your thread. I honestly believe that unless someone is experiencing something 24/7 nobody can possibly get it. Which is why I try not to get angry and just hope they never have to experience it x I think parent or not some comments are just… idk. I don’t like it. I think I’m in a foul mood after my own thread though probably so I won’t comment any more"
I was seething myself - trying not to think about it and let it ruin my day. |
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"Honestly disappointed but not surprised at some of these comments.
It’s similar to your thread. I honestly believe that unless someone is experiencing something 24/7 nobody can possibly get it. Which is why I try not to get angry and just hope they never have to experience it x I think parent or not some comments are just… idk. I don’t like it. I think I’m in a foul mood after my own thread though probably so I won’t comment any more"
Sometimes it’s best. Not much gets to me and these threads are rare but they do get to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Let's accept that it's ok to express views, even if we don't ascribe to them ourselves. On the contrary, it helps identify misconceptions and gives a platform to fix or describe in further detail the shoes others are walking in so we can empathize and understand each other better.
The person who talked about lazy parenting - it's not an uncommon misunderstanding and they need to be schooled otherwise. Give them a chance to think about it differently. When I read it, it upset me, but then I reread it and probably think it's an issue they're carrying from personal life experiences.
Another person mentioned click-bait posts. The OP posted and vented out of necessary frustration, this wasn't a click-bait post and is a really relevant discussion. |
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"The old adage of 'don't tell me how it is until you've walked in my shoes' would be good here.
There's normally I reason I don't comment in these batshit crazy, click bait type of threads. My blood boils at the ineptitude and ignorance of some people.
Having a disabled child is a blessing and a curse, and getting adequate treatment and diagnosis is a constant battle. This does provide a useful platform to block/ignore people.
I lost my cool earlier, but until you've experienced life with a hidden disability, perhaps you'd like to keep your nuanced, jaded views to yourselves. "
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"The kids aren’t the problem, the parents are
At that age you don’t need therapy, you need good parents
The fact anyone can just squeeze out a kid with zero knowledge on how to be a parent is why
We don’t need therapy for kids. We need lessons for parents
What a fucking ignorant comment. "
I agree. |
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"Another person mentioned click-bait posts. The OP posted and vented out of necessary frustration, this wasn't a click-bait post and is a really relevant discussion."
The OP posts lots of threads that provoke strong opinions and very rarely comments again. Hence someone suggesting it's clickbait. We shall see what happens with this one...
J |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"More labels to excuse poor parenting and bad behaviour.
You start therapies for kids of this age they will not understand and it'll probably amplify bad behaviour.
Of course treatment for kid's on the spectrum is needed ."
Let's assume for a minute, that poor parenting is to blame (it isn't.)
Your logic that involving other responsible adults amplifies problems doesn't make any sense. Quite the contrary. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The kids aren’t the problem, the parents are
At that age you don’t need therapy, you need good parents
The fact anyone can just squeeze out a kid with zero knowledge on how to be a parent is why
We don’t need therapy for kids. We need lessons for parents "
Not even midday and this is the worst take I’ll read today. |
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"Honestly disappointed but not surprised at some of these comments.
It’s similar to your thread. I honestly believe that unless someone is experiencing something 24/7 nobody can possibly get it. Which is why I try not to get angry and just hope they never have to experience it x "
This, there's so much I would love to say to some of these comments, but I'm not getting a naughty step for it.
What i will say is until you've been in that parents shoes you have no right to judge. Getting anywhere with diagnosis and help is bloody hard, we're currently at almost year 4 of the diagnosis journey, after 2 years we had tourettes/tic disorder confirmed but the consultant felt it may be more and was referred for a pervasive development disorder assessment to see if or where she fell on the spectrum, and also a referral to the tic disorder services...... this was almost 2 years ago and nothing has been heard from anyone. So I'm left to try and chase this constantly to get the help needed before she moves to secondary school where she will definitely potentially need the support, we have been lucky to have a primary school that have a fantastic SEN department that worked with her even without an ECHP, this will disappear the minute she changes school and I am absolutely worried about how she will cope.
Tinder
|
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"Honestly disappointed but not surprised at some of these comments.
It’s similar to your thread. I honestly believe that unless someone is experiencing something 24/7 nobody can possibly get it. Which is why I try not to get angry and just hope they never have to experience it x
This, there's so much I would love to say to some of these comments, but I'm not getting a naughty step for it.
What i will say is until you've been in that parents shoes you have no right to judge. Getting anywhere with diagnosis and help is bloody hard, we're currently at almost year 4 of the diagnosis journey, after 2 years we had tourettes/tic disorder confirmed but the consultant felt it may be more and was referred for a pervasive development disorder assessment to see if or where she fell on the spectrum, and also a referral to the tic disorder services...... this was almost 2 years ago and nothing has been heard from anyone. So I'm left to try and chase this constantly to get the help needed before she moves to secondary school where she will definitely potentially need the support, we have been lucky to have a primary school that have a fantastic SEN department that worked with her even without an ECHP, this will disappear the minute she changes school and I am absolutely worried about how she will cope.
Tinder
"
It’s so hard. In the end we paid and went private, it cost an absolute fortune but luckily we managed to do it with the help of our parents also. After 6 years of no diagnosis, constant fights and pretty much a living hell we had a diagnosis and a change of meds within the hour and our lives changed unbelievably. It’s disgusting that we had to do this but it was worth it x |
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"Honestly disappointed but not surprised at some of these comments.
It’s similar to your thread. I honestly believe that unless someone is experiencing something 24/7 nobody can possibly get it. Which is why I try not to get angry and just hope they never have to experience it x
This, there's so much I would love to say to some of these comments, but I'm not getting a naughty step for it.
What i will say is until you've been in that parents shoes you have no right to judge. Getting anywhere with diagnosis and help is bloody hard, we're currently at almost year 4 of the diagnosis journey, after 2 years we had tourettes/tic disorder confirmed but the consultant felt it may be more and was referred for a pervasive development disorder assessment to see if or where she fell on the spectrum, and also a referral to the tic disorder services...... this was almost 2 years ago and nothing has been heard from anyone. So I'm left to try and chase this constantly to get the help needed before she moves to secondary school where she will definitely potentially need the support, we have been lucky to have a primary school that have a fantastic SEN department that worked with her even without an ECHP, this will disappear the minute she changes school and I am absolutely worried about how she will cope.
Tinder
"
The chasing up, and liaising between different departments and services is a nightmare at times. And transitions between schools and stages of education. Even with EHCP it can be a huge challenge.
Have you accessed your local SENDIAS service they should be able to help. Sometimes they help just to talk to someone who gets it. |
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Tom, troller as you are you do have a jealous mindset.
If someone highlights X it doesn't mean they are attacking Y!
It's just envy with anger, all the shit. Who are the prats?
Worst of all it's reductive thinking, logically dumb, and all I can see some days is it killing us all.
Funding is a separate issue - i should cover it all!!!
Are you really expert enough to say which is the most important?
As a species we forget everything under the age of 4 or so (people who say they remember their womb etc are just imagining it from stories), so our health at that time has always interested me. A lot of people think it doesn't matter simply because we can't remember anything. They get their toddlers ears pierced etc. I think our personalities are being formed, and it does. Also, certain things simply need to be better understood and can in some cases be treated.
pt |
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"Honestly disappointed but not surprised at some of these comments.
It’s similar to your thread. I honestly believe that unless someone is experiencing something 24/7 nobody can possibly get it. Which is why I try not to get angry and just hope they never have to experience it x
This, there's so much I would love to say to some of these comments, but I'm not getting a naughty step for it.
What i will say is until you've been in that parents shoes you have no right to judge. Getting anywhere with diagnosis and help is bloody hard, we're currently at almost year 4 of the diagnosis journey, after 2 years we had tourettes/tic disorder confirmed but the consultant felt it may be more and was referred for a pervasive development disorder assessment to see if or where she fell on the spectrum, and also a referral to the tic disorder services...... this was almost 2 years ago and nothing has been heard from anyone. So I'm left to try and chase this constantly to get the help needed before she moves to secondary school where she will definitely potentially need the support, we have been lucky to have a primary school that have a fantastic SEN department that worked with her even without an ECHP, this will disappear the minute she changes school and I am absolutely worried about how she will cope.
Tinder
It’s so hard. In the end we paid and went private, it cost an absolute fortune but luckily we managed to do it with the help of our parents also. After 6 years of no diagnosis, constant fights and pretty much a living hell we had a diagnosis and a change of meds within the hour and our lives changed unbelievably. It’s disgusting that we had to do this but it was worth it x"
Honestly I'm at the point of if it means getting into debt over it I will, she copes so well right now in school but that's down to a fantastic teaching team she has there, we get the crash when she comes home as it's her safe place. But I am so scared at how she is going to cope with secondary school, that thrown in with puberty hitting its getting harder day by day.
Tinder x |
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"
That's the problem with multiple diagnoses it's like revolving doors. I've got many health issues, mental and physical health issues and all hidden.
At least I'm on first name terms with most of health professionals I see!
Sometimes I find it helps just going on forums and just insanely rant.
It's frustrating but I unfortunately became whatever and try to live this out. Money only can get you so far.
Hugs x
Yes forums generally are good
I’m with complex care so one point of contact now which is better but still like riding on square wheels.
Thank you as well
There is some positivity and a plan in me. There’s a rant brewing too later I think. Tablets are coming up to full side effects now though so off to outer space for a couple of hours. 4 more weeks of these til I should get my mind returned."
Glad you're getting some kind of support. Cheering you on!  |
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"Honestly disappointed but not surprised at some of these comments.
It’s similar to your thread. I honestly believe that unless someone is experiencing something 24/7 nobody can possibly get it. Which is why I try not to get angry and just hope they never have to experience it x
This, there's so much I would love to say to some of these comments, but I'm not getting a naughty step for it.
What i will say is until you've been in that parents shoes you have no right to judge. Getting anywhere with diagnosis and help is bloody hard, we're currently at almost year 4 of the diagnosis journey, after 2 years we had tourettes/tic disorder confirmed but the consultant felt it may be more and was referred for a pervasive development disorder assessment to see if or where she fell on the spectrum, and also a referral to the tic disorder services...... this was almost 2 years ago and nothing has been heard from anyone. So I'm left to try and chase this constantly to get the help needed before she moves to secondary school where she will definitely potentially need the support, we have been lucky to have a primary school that have a fantastic SEN department that worked with her even without an ECHP, this will disappear the minute she changes school and I am absolutely worried about how she will cope.
Tinder
It’s so hard. In the end we paid and went private, it cost an absolute fortune but luckily we managed to do it with the help of our parents also. After 6 years of no diagnosis, constant fights and pretty much a living hell we had a diagnosis and a change of meds within the hour and our lives changed unbelievably. It’s disgusting that we had to do this but it was worth it x
Honestly I'm at the point of if it means getting into debt over it I will, she copes so well right now in school but that's down to a fantastic teaching team she has there, we get the crash when she comes home as it's her safe place. But I am so scared at how she is going to cope with secondary school, that thrown in with puberty hitting its getting harder day by day.
Tinder x"
Yes. Primary school was fine here too. Different with secondary. If you ever want to discuss any of it privately I’m happy to x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think I’m out of this one, it’s too heartbreaking to read. I’m empathising, and sympathising with all in the same boat as I am. I’m shitting myself at the thought of my daughter’s future and it’s causing me serious stress and anxiety. |
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"Let's accept that it's ok to express views, even if we don't ascribe to them ourselves. On the contrary, it helps identify misconceptions and gives a platform to fix or describe in further detail the shoes others are walking in so we can empathize and understand each other better.
The person who talked about lazy parenting - it's not an uncommon misunderstanding and they need to be schooled otherwise. Give them a chance to think about it differently. When I read it, it upset me, but then I reread it and probably think it's an issue they're carrying from personal life experiences.
Another person mentioned click-bait posts. The OP posted and vented out of necessary frustration, this wasn't a click-bait post and is a really relevant discussion."
Yes it's really important and not click baity as this seems to have hit a raw nerve with many. And not to be swept under rug. |
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"I think I’m out of this one, it’s too heartbreaking to read. I’m empathising, and sympathising with all in the same boat as I am. I’m shitting myself at the thought of my daughter’s future and it’s causing me serious stress and anxiety. "
Feel that one deeply. Hope you are ok. |
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"Honestly disappointed but not surprised at some of these comments.
It’s similar to your thread. I honestly believe that unless someone is experiencing something 24/7 nobody can possibly get it. Which is why I try not to get angry and just hope they never have to experience it x
This, there's so much I would love to say to some of these comments, but I'm not getting a naughty step for it.
What i will say is until you've been in that parents shoes you have no right to judge. Getting anywhere with diagnosis and help is bloody hard, we're currently at almost year 4 of the diagnosis journey, after 2 years we had tourettes/tic disorder confirmed but the consultant felt it may be more and was referred for a pervasive development disorder assessment to see if or where she fell on the spectrum, and also a referral to the tic disorder services...... this was almost 2 years ago and nothing has been heard from anyone. So I'm left to try and chase this constantly to get the help needed before she moves to secondary school where she will definitely potentially need the support, we have been lucky to have a primary school that have a fantastic SEN department that worked with her even without an ECHP, this will disappear the minute she changes school and I am absolutely worried about how she will cope.
Tinder
The chasing up, and liaising between different departments and services is a nightmare at times. And transitions between schools and stages of education. Even with EHCP it can be a huge challenge.
Have you accessed your local SENDIAS service they should be able to help. Sometimes they help just to talk to someone who gets it."
I've contacted the local team and waiting for a reply to see what I need to do.
Tinder |
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Even with a diagnosis getting an EHCP is such a battle. And because funding has been cut so much, local authorities are looking for the slightest reason to reject them. But they nearly always get given on appeal. It's so frustrating as it feels like the budget comes before the child's needs.
J |
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"Honestly disappointed but not surprised at some of these comments.
It’s similar to your thread. I honestly believe that unless someone is experiencing something 24/7 nobody can possibly get it. Which is why I try not to get angry and just hope they never have to experience it x
All I can do is offer hugs as I've been there x
This, there's so much I would love to say to some of these comments, but I'm not getting a naughty step for it.
What i will say is until you've been in that parents shoes you have no right to judge. Getting anywhere with diagnosis and help is bloody hard, we're currently at almost year 4 of the diagnosis journey, after 2 years we had tourettes/tic disorder confirmed but the consultant felt it may be more and was referred for a pervasive development disorder assessment to see if or where she fell on the spectrum, and also a referral to the tic disorder services...... this was almost 2 years ago and nothing has been heard from anyone. So I'm left to try and chase this constantly to get the help needed before she moves to secondary school where she will definitely potentially need the support, we have been lucky to have a primary school that have a fantastic SEN department that worked with her even without an ECHP, this will disappear the minute she changes school and I am absolutely worried about how she will cope.
Tinder
It’s so hard. In the end we paid and went private, it cost an absolute fortune but luckily we managed to do it with the help of our parents also. After 6 years of no diagnosis, constant fights and pretty much a living hell we had a diagnosis and a change of meds within the hour and our lives changed unbelievably. It’s disgusting that we had to do this but it was worth it x
Honestly I'm at the point of if it means getting into debt over it I will, she copes so well right now in school but that's down to a fantastic teaching team she has there, we get the crash when she comes home as it's her safe place. But I am so scared at how she is going to cope with secondary school, that thrown in with puberty hitting its getting harder day by day.
Tinder x"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Let's accept that it's ok to express views, even if we don't ascribe to them ourselves. On the contrary, it helps identify misconceptions and gives a platform to fix or describe in further detail the shoes others are walking in so we can empathize and understand each other better.
The person who talked about lazy parenting - it's not an uncommon misunderstanding and they need to be schooled otherwise. Give them a chance to think about it differently. When I read it, it upset me, but then I reread it and probably think it's an issue they're carrying from personal life experiences.
Another person mentioned click-bait posts. The OP posted and vented out of necessary frustration, this wasn't a click-bait post and is a really relevant discussion.
Yes it's really important and not click baity as this seems to have hit a raw nerve with many. And not to be swept under rug."
Totally agree with you. |
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"Even with a diagnosis getting an EHCP is such a battle. And because funding has been cut so much, local authorities are looking for the slightest reason to reject them. But they nearly always get given on appeal. It's so frustrating as it feels like the budget comes before the child's needs.
J"
Oh it does I've had that from horse's mouth all the way to commissioners. It's top down based on budgets not based on the needs within the community.
The only way to fight that is via statutory requirements. That's where SENDIAS really helps the LA know that they can't slip by statutes then, they'll be held accountable for it.
Same problems with child mental health and the mental health act. S117 funding just get brushed under the carpet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The OP posts lots of threads that provoke strong opinions and very rarely comments again. Hence someone suggesting it's clickbait. We shall see what happens with this one...
J"
*Facepalm* I had no idea, so sorry. (Also sorry to the previous person mentioning click-bait... Yes this Tom character seems to do this a lot, I see that now.)
 |
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"Why would anyone who calls Toms posts click bait actually comment on them. It's a funny old world. "
And why would Tom mention this instead of replying to one of the thoughtful comments? Funny old world indeed
This is a subject that means a lot to me so I commented. Doesn't stop it being click bait though.
J |
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By *apxxxWoman
over a year ago
North Shropshire not Wales!!!ffs & Manchester |
"The kids aren’t the problem, the parents are
At that age you don’t need therapy, you need good parents
The fact anyone can just squeeze out a kid with zero knowledge on how to be a parent is why
We don’t need therapy for kids. We need lessons for parents "
FML...I HAVE NO WORDS   |
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"So called leading doctors say not enough is being done for anxiety and ADHD in 2-4 year olds. Well I have news for these prats. Not enough is being done for children between 5 and 18.Makes Toms blood boil
What's going on here guys. It's all over the news"
try being diagnosed at the age of 50 with autism!
no help whatsoever! |
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"The kids aren’t the problem, the parents are
At that age you don’t need therapy, you need good parents
The fact anyone can just squeeze out a kid with zero knowledge on how to be a parent is why
We don’t need therapy for kids. We need lessons for parents
And this is the reason that parents with autistic children regularly want to beat people's faces when they make that comment "
this |
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"The kids aren’t the problem, the parents are
At that age you don’t need therapy, you need good parents
The fact anyone can just squeeze out a kid with zero knowledge on how to be a parent is why
We don’t need therapy for kids. We need lessons for parents "
Lockdown has had such a detrimental effect on children all ages...Speech and language and social skills being the most prolific issues we see. It's not just about parenting....Lockdown was tough for everyone life is tough for everyone. Don't be so judgemental |
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"Honestly disappointed but not surprised at some of these comments.
It’s similar to your thread. I honestly believe that unless someone is experiencing something 24/7 nobody can possibly get it. Which is why I try not to get angry and just hope they never have to experience it x
This, there's so much I would love to say to some of these comments, but I'm not getting a naughty step for it.
What i will say is until you've been in that parents shoes you have no right to judge. Getting anywhere with diagnosis and help is bloody hard, we're currently at almost year 4 of the diagnosis journey, after 2 years we had tourettes/tic disorder confirmed but the consultant felt it may be more and was referred for a pervasive development disorder assessment to see if or where she fell on the spectrum, and also a referral to the tic disorder services...... this was almost 2 years ago and nothing has been heard from anyone. So I'm left to try and chase this constantly to get the help needed before she moves to secondary school where she will definitely potentially need the support, we have been lucky to have a primary school that have a fantastic SEN department that worked with her even without an ECHP, this will disappear the minute she changes school and I am absolutely worried about how she will cope.
Tinder
It’s so hard. In the end we paid and went private, it cost an absolute fortune but luckily we managed to do it with the help of our parents also. After 6 years of no diagnosis, constant fights and pretty much a living hell we had a diagnosis and a change of meds within the hour and our lives changed unbelievably. It’s disgusting that we had to do this but it was worth it x"
Our local authority doesn’t accept private diagnosis otherwise I’d have gone down this route & found the money from somewhere. We are in limbo land where CAMHS are doing some low level mental health work until we get (or don’t) a proper diagnosis. We’ve been waiting for the outcome since June. They have until the end of November to deliver the final result. Which is too late for him as we’ve already pulled him from college  The last 5 years have been hell & I wouldn’t wish it on anyone
J x
J x |
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My issue with the blame the parents mentality is that most parents are pulling their hair out trying to fight a broken underfunded system to get the diagnosis and support they need for their children.
When a child has a condition or disability (including MH conditions that everyone palms off as in the mind) then there are additional support needs. That parent is now a parent-carer. When we say 'blame the parents' we are dismissing that reality.
Now those parents become ill through stress trying to make ends meet, manage the child's needs and put food on the table - whilst fighting this absurd gatekeeping, pass-the-buck underfunded system and then they are hit with - oh you're a shit parent that's the problem.
It legitimises the myth and that allows the status quo to continue. And who does this benefit? Lower taxes? I don't even think it does. The social damage it does and additional cost of young people by meeting their potential. It's not even cost-effective of you ignore the humanitarian element.
Talk about kicking someone when they are down. |
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"Honestly disappointed but not surprised at some of these comments.
It’s similar to your thread. I honestly believe that unless someone is experiencing something 24/7 nobody can possibly get it. Which is why I try not to get angry and just hope they never have to experience it x
This, there's so much I would love to say to some of these comments, but I'm not getting a naughty step for it.
What i will say is until you've been in that parents shoes you have no right to judge. Getting anywhere with diagnosis and help is bloody hard, we're currently at almost year 4 of the diagnosis journey, after 2 years we had tourettes/tic disorder confirmed but the consultant felt it may be more and was referred for a pervasive development disorder assessment to see if or where she fell on the spectrum, and also a referral to the tic disorder services...... this was almost 2 years ago and nothing has been heard from anyone. So I'm left to try and chase this constantly to get the help needed before she moves to secondary school where she will definitely potentially need the support, we have been lucky to have a primary school that have a fantastic SEN department that worked with her even without an ECHP, this will disappear the minute she changes school and I am absolutely worried about how she will cope.
Tinder
It’s so hard. In the end we paid and went private, it cost an absolute fortune but luckily we managed to do it with the help of our parents also. After 6 years of no diagnosis, constant fights and pretty much a living hell we had a diagnosis and a change of meds within the hour and our lives changed unbelievably. It’s disgusting that we had to do this but it was worth it x
Our local authority doesn’t accept private diagnosis otherwise I’d have gone down this route & found the money from somewhere. We are in limbo land where CAMHS are doing some low level mental health work until we get (or don’t) a proper diagnosis. We’ve been waiting for the outcome since June. They have until the end of November to deliver the final result. Which is too late for him as we’ve already pulled him from college The last 5 years have been hell & I wouldn’t wish it on anyone
J x
J x"
Really? What about people who have private healthcare? How can that be? |
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"My issue with the blame the parents mentality is that most parents are pulling their hair out trying to fight a broken underfunded system to get the diagnosis and support they need for their children.
When a child has a condition or disability (including MH conditions that everyone palms off as in the mind) then there are additional support needs. That parent is now a parent-carer. When we say 'blame the parents' we are dismissing that reality.
Now those parents become ill through stress trying to make ends meet, manage the child's needs and put food on the table - whilst fighting this absurd gatekeeping, pass-the-buck underfunded system and then they are hit with - oh you're a shit parent that's the problem.
It legitimises the myth and that allows the status quo to continue. And who does this benefit? Lower taxes? I don't even think it does. The social damage it does and additional cost of young people by meeting their potential. It's not even cost-effective of you ignore the humanitarian element.
Talk about kicking someone when they are down. "
True. Although I’ve never been told I’m a crap parent. It’s been more the opposite. Only times I’ve seen that is generically from behind a keyboard on the internet by people who don’t know shit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I actually hope that lots of people read this click-bait thread (for that is what it is) because they may have an insight into what it's actually like for parents of kids with additional needs. And how long it takes to get a diagnosis. I think I've had it easy compared to some people here (3 kids with ASD). Please just read the stories. Learn from them.
I thought my son was on the spectrum at 3. He was 10 by the time he was diagnosed. Just to be able to figure out what I needed to say, how to navigate the system, to persuade people to take me seriously. As other people have shared. And then to see comments about parents just looking for an easy label. I'm not angry. I stopped getting angry years ago, like Nora. It's not worth it. |
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"My issue with the blame the parents mentality is that most parents are pulling their hair out trying to fight a broken underfunded system to get the diagnosis and support they need for their children.
When a child has a condition or disability (including MH conditions that everyone palms off as in the mind) then there are additional support needs. That parent is now a parent-carer. When we say 'blame the parents' we are dismissing that reality.
Now those parents become ill through stress trying to make ends meet, manage the child's needs and put food on the table - whilst fighting this absurd gatekeeping, pass-the-buck underfunded system and then they are hit with - oh you're a shit parent that's the problem.
It legitimises the myth and that allows the status quo to continue. And who does this benefit? Lower taxes? I don't even think it does. The social damage it does and additional cost of young people by meeting their potential. It's not even cost-effective of you ignore the humanitarian element.
Talk about kicking someone when they are down. "
I've never been called it but sure damn feel it at times, trying to juggle full time work and study and doing it pretty much on my own has definitely had a big toll on my mental health. Trying not to let my own past triggers come out when my child is lashing out at me through sheer frustration because they don't know how to process something or something is out of the normal routine or normality for them.
Honestly wish I could click my fingers and make it all better.
Tinder |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
It’s a woefully underfunded area.
My son was lucky in that he was referred to Speech & Language Therapy by his School and attended for a year and a half as part of the long, long, diagnosis process in our area. His speech, which only I and his brother could understand improved so much it opened up his world. His speech isn’t perfect but now at least people can understand him and he can express himself without the frustration of people getting embarrassed because they can’t understand him and just walking away from him.
He received his ASD diagnosis and at a School meeting with various other agencies who were involved in his care, it was brought up that the Speech therapist who had attended the School one day a week to see him would no longer be an option for other children as the Health Authority were closing that department. The Speech & Language unit at the Hospital (who were miraculous and a major support to us in our diagnosis journey) were also so short staffed.
Waiting lists are ridiculous. We were one of the lucky ones and I am eternally grateful to his Primary School and all the agencies that helped us along the long, long, long road of getting a diagnosis and supporting my son in getting the help that he needed. People think you just rock up and say what’s wrong and BINGO the Hospital say yeah and give out diagnosis’s like they’re chocolate. If ONLY it were that simple!!
It took my son years to get a diagnosis. He underwent various tests, meetings etc. In another Health Authority a work colleague had her son diagnosed within 6 months. It’s a healthcare lottery.
My son needed specialist help with his speech, my parenting alone would not have rectified anything. As part of the help he received I was given expert advice and support in how to help him (properly) at home (like homework set). But up until that point, I was just there to give him love and encouragement.
It really is woeful the cutback to essential services in this field and incredibly frustrating and upsetting. |
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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago
Chelmsford |
"I actually hope that lots of people read this click-bait thread (for that is what it is) because they may have an insight into what it's actually like for parents of kids with additional needs. And how long it takes to get a diagnosis. I think I've had it easy compared to some people here (3 kids with ASD). Please just read the stories. Learn from them.
I thought my son was on the spectrum at 3. He was 10 by the time he was diagnosed. Just to be able to figure out what I needed to say, how to navigate the system, to persuade people to take me seriously. As other people have shared. And then to see comments about parents just looking for an easy label. I'm not angry. I stopped getting angry years ago, like Nora. It's not worth it. "
Click bait aka a popular thread ? |
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By *ndycoinsMan
over a year ago
Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton, |
"The kids aren’t the problem, the parents are
At that age you don’t need therapy, you need good parents
The fact anyone can just squeeze out a kid with zero knowledge on how to be a parent is why
We don’t need therapy for kids. We need lessons for parents
And this is the reason that parents with autistic children regularly want to beat people's faces when they make that comment
Resorting to violence over something you disagree with is probably a trait you’ll hand down to your children "
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"My issue with the blame the parents mentality is that most parents are pulling their hair out trying to fight a broken underfunded system to get the diagnosis and support they need for their children.
When a child has a condition or disability (including MH conditions that everyone palms off as in the mind) then there are additional support needs. That parent is now a parent-carer. When we say 'blame the parents' we are dismissing that reality.
Now those parents become ill through stress trying to make ends meet, manage the child's needs and put food on the table - whilst fighting this absurd gatekeeping, pass-the-buck underfunded system and then they are hit with - oh you're a shit parent that's the problem.
It legitimises the myth and that allows the status quo to continue. And who does this benefit? Lower taxes? I don't even think it does. The social damage it does and additional cost of young people by meeting their potential. It's not even cost-effective of you ignore the humanitarian element.
Talk about kicking someone when they are down.
I've never been called it but sure damn feel it at times, trying to juggle full time work and study and doing it pretty much on my own has definitely had a big toll on my mental health. Trying not to let my own past triggers come out when my child is lashing out at me through sheer frustration because they don't know how to process something or something is out of the normal routine or normality for them.
Honestly wish I could click my fingers and make it all better.
Tinder "
Apologies I had to ignore this thread for a bit. Nora too apologies.
I agree it's not usually direct. It's usually something condescending like a patronising parenting class or a leaflet. A bit like they give to people in poverty, at the job centre on how to budget.
Or they act like the lack of support available and huge waiting lists are normal.
Or your MH is used against you as something causal rather than reactive to the situation.
I've seen it happen to lots of people as an advocate and the ripple effect on siblings too. I can't go into identifiable details obviously. I have seen parents dragged through child protection a horrendous experience, leaving them broken and the chair say to social workers - why is this here? The issue is that you haven't put support in place - several times. |
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"So this is how you do it is it Tom?
Is that extreme left wing or extreme extreme right wing ,? "
.
What is that some kpiffle from the FS MBGA mailing list, I don't even know how you mean it lol. pt |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I actually hope that lots of people read this click-bait thread (for that is what it is) because they may have an insight into what it's actually like for parents of kids with additional needs. And how long it takes to get a diagnosis. I think I've had it easy compared to some people here (3 kids with ASD). Please just read the stories. Learn from them.
I thought my son was on the spectrum at 3. He was 10 by the time he was diagnosed. Just to be able to figure out what I needed to say, how to navigate the system, to persuade people to take me seriously. As other people have shared. And then to see comments about parents just looking for an easy label. I'm not angry. I stopped getting angry years ago, like Nora. It's not worth it.
Click bait aka a popular thread ?"
You keep on telling yourself that, Tom |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why do people instantly jump to bad behaviour when they think of children with mental health issues
I started to suffer with mental health issues when I was 6 I was never badly behaved, other than in crowds I'd get snappy towards my mum as I didn't know how to vocalise my discomfort
People saying therapy for kids would be traumatising at that age I can assure you it can't be worse than going through your life building your own coping strategies and not even realising its not something everyone does then by time it's picked up there is a problem in adulthood you have no understanding of what caused the anxieties in the first place
And when you get the help you need the person you are on medication could have done so much more with their life if the problem was picked up sooner
Also my grandchildren are polite well behaved children eldest has suspected add and the younger one has sensory issues and suspected autism and does have occasional melt downs if you don't preempt a trigger and avoid or prepare for it
Mental health conditions do not mean a child is badly behaved and it doesn't mean bad parenting
But can in some cases mean a child who behaves a certain way as they can't verbally express their discomfort in the correct manner
And that "bad parent" is just a good parent that is stressed and struggling to cope without the support they need and the judgemental twat that is looking them up and down because "their child is having a "tantrum" because...the hand drier was to loud..the chocolate melted on their hand.. because it doesn't matter if there is a busy road they REALLY don't like holding hands...because you said no to the chocolate bar that you said yes to
yesterday and day before.. ect ect...is the 3rd jugdgemental twat that day..without the ones the day before and the day before that...so she finds herself apologising while explaining her child is autistic and giving in to the chocolate bar because she just wants to get home where she can get home where everyone understands and nobody judges |
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