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Attraction on fab
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So I'm wondering if there's any other weirdos like me who struggle with attraction on fab?
I need a personality and a face before I can even consider being attracted to someone, by pics it just doesn't work for me nor by online chat so I guess it kinda makes it impossible, I find people are different in person than online.
I can guage if I like the pics or not but it's tricky when you are someone that needs to know someone to find them attractive.
The group socials are much better for me, clubs don't really appeal much.
Maybe I'm just not attracted to anyone else at all or maybe it is just because I find it hard online...... I'm not sure.
Anyway what's your hints and tips to overcoming this?
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I'm wondering if there's any other weirdos like me who struggle with attraction on fab?
...
Anyway what's your hints and tips to overcoming this?
Mrs "
Change your sex to being a bloke and you will not even need to see the pictures to be attracted to any woman on Fab
(hope that is helpful!) |
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"So I'm wondering if there's any other weirdos like me who struggle with attraction on fab?
...
Anyway what's your hints and tips to overcoming this?
Mrs
Change your sex to being a bloke and you will not even need to see the pictures to be attracted to any woman on Fab
(hope that is helpful!)"
 I never understand the any holes a goal people, I just couldn't do it.
I'll stick to being an awkward picky woman.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I'm wondering if there's any other weirdos like me who struggle with attraction on fab?
I need a personality and a face before I can even consider being attracted to someone, by pics it just doesn't work for me nor by online chat so I guess it kinda makes it impossible, I find people are different in person than online.
I can guage if I like the pics or not but it's tricky when you are someone that needs to know someone to find them attractive.
The group socials are much better for me, clubs don't really appeal much.
Maybe I'm just not attracted to anyone else at all or maybe it is just because I find it hard online...... I'm not sure.
Anyway what's your hints and tips to overcoming this?
Mrs "
Different levels for me.
I can be attracted to personality by chatting without seeing a face pic.
Looking at pics alone can get me horny and just want the sex.
The combination means someone I could meet up with you or chat post meet.
I also don't have a hard physical line. Personality tends to trump physical looks almost all the time for me. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Hey Mrs Knight!
I've found that I struggle with it as well. I don't find myself attracted to people before I get to know them. I can think someone is attractive but I don't view them in a sexual light until there's that level of friendship there.
So I've accepted that. I've been trying to attend more socials. Being open and saying that I'd like to get to know a person more and explaining I'm a bit weird.
Going to smaller socials is a good idea. As is having a social one/two on one/two. Taking things at your own pace. I don't feel bad or too weird now.
People are different in person to online. I find I warm far more easily to people in person, I guess I need that f2f interaction to establish if chemistry is there to some extent. |
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Why do you want to overcome it?
I'm exactly the same which is why we always meet socially at least once first and always make it clear that we make no promises at all. We're all different when it comes to attraction and trying to change our basic nature probably wouldn't work.
In my opinion you can still have no strings, casual sex after getting to know someone a little. It doesn't have to be see a photo, drive to meeting place, fuck, go home.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey Mrs Knight!
I've found that I struggle with it as well. I don't find myself attracted to people before I get to know them. I can think someone is attractive but I don't view them in a sexual light until there's that level of friendship there.
So I've accepted that. I've been trying to attend more socials. Being open and saying that I'd like to get to know a person more and explaining I'm a bit weird.
Going to smaller socials is a good idea. As is having a social one/two on one/two. Taking things at your own pace. I don't feel bad or too weird now.
People are different in person to online. I find I warm far more easily to people in person, I guess I need that f2f interaction to establish if chemistry is there to some extent."
- interjecting to say great new profile pic Meli , looking good! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So I'm wondering if there's any other weirdos like me who struggle with attraction on fab?
...
Anyway what's your hints and tips to overcoming this?
Mrs
Change your sex to being a bloke and you will not even need to see the pictures to be attracted to any woman on Fab
(hope that is helpful!)"
I disagree. I make notes on pages to never contact based on profiles or interactions. |
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"Hey Mrs Knight!
I've found that I struggle with it as well. I don't find myself attracted to people before I get to know them. I can think someone is attractive but I don't view them in a sexual light until there's that level of friendship there.
So I've accepted that. I've been trying to attend more socials. Being open and saying that I'd like to get to know a person more and explaining I'm a bit weird.
Going to smaller socials is a good idea. As is having a social one/two on one/two. Taking things at your own pace. I don't feel bad or too weird now.
People are different in person to online. I find I warm far more easily to people in person, I guess I need that f2f interaction to establish if chemistry is there to some extent."
Yey I'm pleased it's not just me, weirdos unite!
I'm the same I can be attracted to pics but not on a sexual way just in a you look alright way, I need to meet and chat but then I feel bad saying sorry not for me after dragging it on in an attempt to get to know them better, but I don't know until I get to that point if they are or aren't for me.
I'm babbling now
Mrs |
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Do you consider yourself demi-sexual? I tend to explain it that way, but that gets mixed response I'll be honest.
I see aesthetic beauty but it doesn't turn me on instantly. And yes online persona and offline will be different. I don't think that's a lack of authenticity it's just well you cant receive a person fully without being physically in their presence I don't think.
Honestly, I've just got used to the reality will make assumptions. It's a game he's playing, he just wants attention he's not really interested etc etc. I can't force myself to be attracted to someone and it's very rare until a connection has formed. Don't like that about me.
I think when I was in a couple this was a complex matter for us. As my wife didn't need that same level of what do we call this intimacy/connection to feel attraction. I found other partners emerged primarily offline naturally through friendships forming. |
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Totally get this. I can appreciate someone’s aesthetic and warm to their personality through chatting, but attraction is only ever face to face. Even then it’s very rare. It’s hard work sometimes but I absolutely know my kind when I meet them. |
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"Why do you want to overcome it?
I'm exactly the same which is why we always meet socially at least once first and always make it clear that we make no promises at all. We're all different when it comes to attraction and trying to change our basic nature probably wouldn't work.
In my opinion you can still have no strings, casual sex after getting to know someone a little. It doesn't have to be see a photo, drive to meeting place, fuck, go home. "
I guess because I dismiss so many people who message or wink because I think if I chat, meet and then decide no there's nothing there I guess I feel like I've wasted their time.
I do quite envy those that can chat online and know yes this is for me and go for it, it does sound much simpler especially on here, I just can't seem to do that.
I'm not sure that even makes sense.
Mrs |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"Do you consider yourself demi-sexual? I tend to explain it that way, but that gets mixed response I'll be honest.
I see aesthetic beauty but it doesn't turn me on instantly. And yes online persona and offline will be different. I don't think that's a lack of authenticity it's just well you cant receive a person fully without being physically in their presence I don't think.
Honestly, I've just got used to the reality will make assumptions. It's a game he's playing, he just wants attention he's not really interested etc etc. I can't force myself to be attracted to someone and it's very rare until a connection has formed. Don't like that about me.
I think when I was in a couple this was a complex matter for us. As my wife didn't need that same level of what do we call this intimacy/connection to feel attraction. I found other partners emerged primarily offline naturally through friendships forming. "
It is definitely on the demi-sexual spectrum.
Remember people! Sexualities can overlap even if they seem to contradict each other. |
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I don't think you're weird.
But it does sound a bit insulting to refer to people as the any hole's a goal brigade.
I think there are lots on here who are 'attracted ' to certain sexual situations - like couples seeking a third/ another couple etc |
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"I don't think you're weird.
But it does sound a bit insulting to refer to people as the any hole's a goal brigade.
I think there are lots on here who are 'attracted ' to certain sexual situations - like couples seeking a third/ another couple etc"
It was in reply to the man stating change to a man who don't even need a photo, so yes in that case any hole is a goal and it does exist on fab.
There's absolutely plenty of examples of this is the forums.
Man posts blank profile - who wants to fuck my wife (no pics) 50 comments me please, I'd love to = any holes a goal brigade.
Mrs |
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I think it is horses for courses OP. You obviously want something different from a fab experience than other people. Your sexual needs are stimulated by different things and you just need to do what works for you. Don’t overthink it. |
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"Hey Mrs Knight!
I've found that I struggle with it as well. I don't find myself attracted to people before I get to know them. I can think someone is attractive but I don't view them in a sexual light until there's that level of friendship there.
So I've accepted that. I've been trying to attend more socials. Being open and saying that I'd like to get to know a person more and explaining I'm a bit weird.
Going to smaller socials is a good idea. As is having a social one/two on one/two. Taking things at your own pace. I don't feel bad or too weird now.
People are different in person to online. I find I warm far more easily to people in person, I guess I need that f2f interaction to establish if chemistry is there to some extent.
Yey I'm pleased it's not just me, weirdos unite!
I'm the same I can be attracted to pics but not on a sexual way just in a you look alright way, I need to meet and chat but then I feel bad saying sorry not for me after dragging it on in an attempt to get to know them better, but I don't know until I get to that point if they are or aren't for me.
I'm babbling now
Mrs "
Maybe if they feel entitled just from chatting or meeting a couple times that you should then get naked, then it is them that has an issue?
Surely a normal, logical response is to view it as a nice change to the norm and getting to experience new people and new perspectives on life etc?
I don't think its much different from online dating in that sense - I might like your pics, find your chat online fun but meet you and feel nothing at all. Its just life and it happens that way.
Nothing to feel bad about really.
MrsAbz |
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"Do you consider yourself demi-sexual? I tend to explain it that way, but that gets mixed response I'll be honest.
I see aesthetic beauty but it doesn't turn me on instantly. And yes online persona and offline will be different. I don't think that's a lack of authenticity it's just well you cant receive a person fully without being physically in their presence I don't think.
Honestly, I've just got used to the reality will make assumptions. It's a game he's playing, he just wants attention he's not really interested etc etc. I can't force myself to be attracted to someone and it's very rare until a connection has formed. Don't like that about me.
I think when I was in a couple this was a complex matter for us. As my wife didn't need that same level of what do we call this intimacy/connection to feel attraction. I found other partners emerged primarily offline naturally through friendships forming. "
I'm not too sure to be honest, I'd have to do a little more reading up.
Mrs |
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By *rLordMan
over a year ago
Swadlincote |
Having a cuppa and a chat first , is a great way of saying hello. If a meet is just for that then saying no thanks is perfectly acceptable.
Weird doesn't come into it, let's face it both parties want to get down and dirty. Me although don't want a relationship, do want someone to engage in the said act. If you don't like them, we'll it's nit going to be fun for either of you.
So carry on being weird, the lucky guys and girls will have a great time. |
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"So I'm wondering if there's any other weirdos like me who struggle with attraction on fab?
I need a personality and a face before I can even consider being attracted to someone, by pics it just doesn't work for me nor by online chat so I guess it kinda makes it impossible, I find people are different in person than online.
I can guage if I like the pics or not but it's tricky when you are someone that needs to know someone to find them attractive.
The group socials are much better for me, clubs don't really appeal much.
Maybe I'm just not attracted to anyone else at all or maybe it is just because I find it hard online...... I'm not sure.
Anyway what's your hints and tips to overcoming this?
Mrs "
I think you can only get an idea of what a person is like online, it’s only when you meet someone face to face you get to see if reality matches up to the idea.
I don’t think you’re alone on this at all, there are plenty of people (mainly men) who very much ascribe to the ‘any hole is a goal’ philosophy, there’s a sizeable minority of people like us.
I sometimes wonder if it’s a case of people who didn’t grow up having access to the internet from an early age don’t feel as comfortable making decisions based purely on what they find on there.
Mr DD |
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"Do you consider yourself demi-sexual? I tend to explain it that way, but that gets mixed response I'll be honest.
I see aesthetic beauty but it doesn't turn me on instantly. And yes online persona and offline will be different. I don't think that's a lack of authenticity it's just well you cant receive a person fully without being physically in their presence I don't think.
Honestly, I've just got used to the reality will make assumptions. It's a game he's playing, he just wants attention he's not really interested etc etc. I can't force myself to be attracted to someone and it's very rare until a connection has formed. Don't like that about me.
I think when I was in a couple this was a complex matter for us. As my wife didn't need that same level of what do we call this intimacy/connection to feel attraction. I found other partners emerged primarily offline naturally through friendships forming.
It is definitely on the demi-sexual spectrum.
Remember people! Sexualities can overlap even if they seem to contradict each other."
Thank you Kai, that is reassuring to hear. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Hey Mrs Knight!
I've found that I struggle with it as well. I don't find myself attracted to people before I get to know them. I can think someone is attractive but I don't view them in a sexual light until there's that level of friendship there.
So I've accepted that. I've been trying to attend more socials. Being open and saying that I'd like to get to know a person more and explaining I'm a bit weird.
Going to smaller socials is a good idea. As is having a social one/two on one/two. Taking things at your own pace. I don't feel bad or too weird now.
People are different in person to online. I find I warm far more easily to people in person, I guess I need that f2f interaction to establish if chemistry is there to some extent.
Yey I'm pleased it's not just me, weirdos unite!
I'm the same I can be attracted to pics but not on a sexual way just in a you look alright way, I need to meet and chat but then I feel bad saying sorry not for me after dragging it on in an attempt to get to know them better, but I don't know until I get to that point if they are or aren't for me.
I'm babbling now
Mrs "
You're not babbling at all.
You shouldn't feel bad if the attraction isn't there. It doesn't mean you think they're a bad person or anything like that. Not getting aroused by someone isn't a crime.
I'm going to echo something said by another forum user above. Try and not overthink it.
You're not weird. Just different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nothing wrong at all with this OP. I'm sort of the same. I can find someone physically attractive but it doesn't automatically mean I'm sexually attracted to them
The physical attraction actually makes me more nervous so the deciding factors then are their personality, how friendly and patient they are, their vibes in person. Being more familiar with them helps a lot
Good on you for being honest and introspective with this because it does help to figure out your attraction style. It does sound like you could be Demi-sexual so it's worth looking into and seeing how you feel about the concept
Not really sure what advice I can give but I will say try not to be too hard on yourself about this. It doesn't make you a weirdo, in my opinion  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I'm wondering if there's any other weirdos like me who struggle with attraction on fab?
I need a personality and a face before I can even consider being attracted to someone, by pics it just doesn't work for me nor by online chat so I guess it kinda makes it impossible, I find people are different in person than online.
I can guage if I like the pics or not but it's tricky when you are someone that needs to know someone to find them attractive.
The group socials are much better for me, clubs don't really appeal much.
Maybe I'm just not attracted to anyone else at all or maybe it is just because I find it hard online...... I'm not sure.
Anyway what's your hints and tips to overcoming this?
Mrs "
I am exactly the same.
I find body language, mannerisms, the way someone stands, walks, talks, sits, you name it, the attractive part. I struggle with still pictures, I struggle with online chat too.
I love a voice note or phone call, they help with expression etc but you miss so much where you can't see them at the same time and facial expressions. I wish guys did a short video where they spoke to the watcher and for a few seconds you get to see so much.
I do ask sometimes, and some guys will do it. And I get them sent sometimes without asking but I could probably count on one hand how many times that happened.
This is why I insist on a social.
I've got on fantastically with people online yet the instant I saw them I thought, Nope that ain't happening!
I sometimes wonder if I fancy women more as I struggle with finding guys attractive.
|
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"So I'm wondering if there's any other weirdos like me who struggle with attraction on fab?
I need a personality and a face before I can even consider being attracted to someone, by pics it just doesn't work for me nor by online chat so I guess it kinda makes it impossible, I find people are different in person than online.
I can guage if I like the pics or not but it's tricky when you are someone that needs to know someone to find them attractive.
The group socials are much better for me, clubs don't really appeal much.
Maybe I'm just not attracted to anyone else at all or maybe it is just because I find it hard online...... I'm not sure.
Anyway what's your hints and tips to overcoming this?
Mrs
I am exactly the same.
I find body language, mannerisms, the way someone stands, walks, talks, sits, you name it, the attractive part. I struggle with still pictures, I struggle with online chat too.
I love a voice note or phone call, they help with expression etc but you miss so much where you can't see them at the same time and facial expressions. I wish guys did a short video where they spoke to the watcher and for a few seconds you get to see so much.
I do ask sometimes, and some guys will do it. And I get them sent sometimes without asking but I could probably count on one hand how many times that happened.
This is why I insist on a social.
I've got on fantastically with people online yet the instant I saw them I thought, Nope that ain't happening!
I sometimes wonder if I fancy women more as I struggle with finding guys attractive.
"
You know what, I find it harder with the men too than I do the women, I've no idea why maybe past history or generally women seem to be easier to chat too and less sex focused I'm not too sure but I definitely find it so much more difficult with men than women.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I'm wondering if there's any other weirdos like me who struggle with attraction on fab?
I need a personality and a face before I can even consider being attracted to someone, by pics it just doesn't work for me nor by online chat so I guess it kinda makes it impossible, I find people are different in person than online.
I can guage if I like the pics or not but it's tricky when you are someone that needs to know someone to find them attractive.
The group socials are much better for me, clubs don't really appeal much.
Maybe I'm just not attracted to anyone else at all or maybe it is just because I find it hard online...... I'm not sure.
Anyway what's your hints and tips to overcoming this?
Mrs
I am exactly the same.
I find body language, mannerisms, the way someone stands, walks, talks, sits, you name it, the attractive part. I struggle with still pictures, I struggle with online chat too.
I love a voice note or phone call, they help with expression etc but you miss so much where you can't see them at the same time and facial expressions. I wish guys did a short video where they spoke to the watcher and for a few seconds you get to see so much.
I do ask sometimes, and some guys will do it. And I get them sent sometimes without asking but I could probably count on one hand how many times that happened.
This is why I insist on a social.
I've got on fantastically with people online yet the instant I saw them I thought, Nope that ain't happening!
I sometimes wonder if I fancy women more as I struggle with finding guys attractive.
You know what, I find it harder with the men too than I do the women, I've no idea why maybe past history or generally women seem to be easier to chat too and less sex focused I'm not too sure but I definitely find it so much more difficult with men than women.
Mrs "
It's weird isn't it, I have t figured out why yet. I have a couple of ideas on it.
But then I like to try and figure stuff out when maybe I should just accept it and leave it be.
I think men are more dominating in personas than a woman and with a woman I'm more relaxed. I think the guy has expectations in the bedroom in a way a woman doesn't. |
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Personally I find it almost impossible to portray my real personality online and that's why I would always insist on a proper chat and a social beforehand, it gives everyone a chance to form their own opinion before moving on /or not. Photos only show one dimension, an important one yes, but not the full picture. |
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"So I'm wondering if there's any other weirdos like me who struggle with attraction on fab?
I need a personality and a face before I can even consider being attracted to someone, by pics it just doesn't work for me nor by online chat so I guess it kinda makes it impossible, I find people are different in person than online.
I can guage if I like the pics or not but it's tricky when you are someone that needs to know someone to find them attractive.
The group socials are much better for me, clubs don't really appeal much.
Maybe I'm just not attracted to anyone else at all or maybe it is just because I find it hard online...... I'm not sure.
Anyway what's your hints and tips to overcoming this?
Mrs
I am exactly the same.
I find body language, mannerisms, the way someone stands, walks, talks, sits, you name it, the attractive part. I struggle with still pictures, I struggle with online chat too.
I love a voice note or phone call, they help with expression etc but you miss so much where you can't see them at the same time and facial expressions. I wish guys did a short video where they spoke to the watcher and for a few seconds you get to see so much.
I do ask sometimes, and some guys will do it. And I get them sent sometimes without asking but I could probably count on one hand how many times that happened.
This is why I insist on a social.
I've got on fantastically with people online yet the instant I saw them I thought, Nope that ain't happening!
I sometimes wonder if I fancy women more as I struggle with finding guys attractive.
You know what, I find it harder with the men too than I do the women, I've no idea why maybe past history or generally women seem to be easier to chat too and less sex focused I'm not too sure but I definitely find it so much more difficult with men than women.
Mrs
It's weird isn't it, I have t figured out why yet. I have a couple of ideas on it.
But then I like to try and figure stuff out when maybe I should just accept it and leave it be.
I think men are more dominating in personas than a woman and with a woman I'm more relaxed. I think the guy has expectations in the bedroom in a way a woman doesn't."
I'm with you, maybe I should stop seeing it as an issue and just accept it, as a few above said not over think it which is my huge downfall I over think everything.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a social within 2 weeks of first chatting, otherwise it won't ever work.
Online doesn't do it for me a all. Profiles and pics bore me. I meet people, not tick boxes.
If they get annoyed that I won't fuck after 3 messages that's ok, no time wasted, we're not compatible.
 |
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I can find someone’s photos attractive to look at but I’ll only be attracted to them based on their personality.
As others have said, I need to chat and meet socially to gauge if I find them interesting and if we share a sense of humour. Just being conventionally attractive does nothing for me if that’s all someone has to offer. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
I'm like you op
I rarely meet because I don't often have a connection & attraction to the same person..
I don't know if its because I'm already in a ltr, so think I don't need to meet if no-one takes my fancy.
Sorry no tips, I'm following this post though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s easy for me to find people attractive, but I need to have some sort of a connection there before I start thinking about them in a sexual way if that makes sense. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've felt that I'm weird here more times than I can count. And been guilt-tripped about how attraction works for me also. You're definitely not alone.
I can see that someone IS attractive without wanting to jump them. Getting an insight into the way they think, hearing their voice and talking online or in person - those things will decide whether I want more.
I know what I need to want to have sex with someone and no-one else can tell me otherwise. This site has made me question myself but I'm not doing that anymore. I hope you find your own way to feeling happy with how you are.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've felt that I'm weird here more times than I can count. And been guilt-tripped about how attraction works for me also. You're definitely not alone.
I can see that someone IS attractive without wanting to jump them. Getting an insight into the way they think, hearing their voice and talking online or in person - those things will decide whether I want more.
I know what I need to want to have sex with someone and no-one else can tell me otherwise. This site has made me question myself but I'm not doing that anymore. I hope you find your own way to feeling happy with how you are. "
Never question yourself over people online you are who you are. Comparison is the thief of all joy, just be yourself and the right people who are meant to be in your life will turn up. But who I am to tell you what to do.. I’m just words on a screen  |
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I have been labelled a time waster, as I need to get to know you bofore meeting up with you.
I understand this is not to everyones taste, but I need to relax with someone before they can stick thier dick in me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I need the "thing" I don't even know what it is.
I've talked to lots of good looking funny guys, great personalities, but 99% of the time I'll just stop all conversation because it isn't there.
Some I've met and will meet who I like, not really really like. Just like. And I wouldn't be fussed if I never spoke to again.
There's very few guys that actually really get me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Despite being a man on fab, I am very particular and attraction for me usually starts in the forums. I will have seen a witty or intriguing post that might lead to a pm from me, although filters generally prevent that!
If we do click on an intellectual level we may still only ever chat, but if I find any body or face pics attractive then my thoughts may turn more carnal. Not always though. One woman on here I pursued with the intention of getting in her pants became a fab sister to me and we shared higher thoughts before she took a long sabbatical and I couldn't ever imagine getting jiggy with her now. |
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Interesting. I'm very much the same.
There have been people here where we've got on really well online and I've liked their photos but once we've met socially I realise that there is no attraction for me.
There have been people here where I've not really considered them in a sexual way but then we've met at a group social and there has been instant chemistry.
But while I really enjoy the big group socials as a fun night out I struggle with too much noise and people  I think I'm difficult.
I need to look for smaller socials in quieter venues!
J |
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A physical and social attraction is a must for us.
Some just want casual sex, some just like to perv and some like us want a more regular meet.
Although ultimately this is about sex we want more than someone just turning up for sex and then leaving straight away.
One off meets are definitely not for us, the social side is the lead up to the physical side.
Each to their own but we are with you op x
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I appreciate you dont like the idea of clubs but they really help in this situation. Even if you dont fancy someone enough to play its still lovely to chat or hit the dance floor and have a laugh.I (Mrs) am not a fan of private meets as i feel more uncomfortable. Club choice is key..our favourite is Chams..from staff to the clientele it is so friendly. |
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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago
London |
"So I'm wondering if there's any other weirdos like me who struggle with attraction on fab?
I need a personality and a face before I can even consider being attracted to someone, by pics it just doesn't work for me nor by online chat so I guess it kinda makes it impossible, I find people are different in person than online.
I can guage if I like the pics or not but it's tricky when you are someone that needs to know someone to find them attractive.
The group socials are much better for me, clubs don't really appeal much.
Maybe I'm just not attracted to anyone else at all or maybe it is just because I find it hard online...... I'm not sure.
Anyway what's your hints and tips to overcoming this?
Mrs "
Tits and a nice waistline usually catches my eye.
But then yes. Exactly the same. |
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I (Mrs) find it really hard to engage on line it all feels a bit cringe and fake so then i back off. I need to have that initial physical attraction and then personality. I need both things to ignite a spark.Having said that i dont need a connection that i keep between us.
Mr FF is opposite to me hecan chat shizzle with anyone but he needs to have a connection..
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"Hey Mrs Knight!
I've found that I struggle with it as well. I don't find myself attracted to people before I get to know them. I can think someone is attractive but I don't view them in a sexual light until there's that level of friendship there.
So I've accepted that. I've been trying to attend more socials. Being open and saying that I'd like to get to know a person more and explaining I'm a bit weird.
Going to smaller socials is a good idea. As is having a social one/two on one/two. Taking things at your own pace. I don't feel bad or too weird now.
People are different in person to online. I find I warm far more easily to people in person, I guess I need that f2f interaction to establish if chemistry is there to some extent.
Yey I'm pleased it's not just me, weirdos unite!
I'm the same I can be attracted to pics but not on a sexual way just in a you look alright way, I need to meet and chat but then I feel bad saying sorry not for me after dragging it on in an attempt to get to know them better, but I don't know until I get to that point if they are or aren't for me.
I'm babbling now
Mrs "
I'm the same as this. I embrace it in the knowledge that my chances of having a bad experience are much lower because I take the time to get to know someone before going taking the next step.
The number of people I've gone further with is only a fraction of the people I've met on person through fab. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Hey Mrs Knight!
I've found that I struggle with it as well. I don't find myself attracted to people before I get to know them. I can think someone is attractive but I don't view them in a sexual light until there's that level of friendship there.
So I've accepted that. I've been trying to attend more socials. Being open and saying that I'd like to get to know a person more and explaining I'm a bit weird.
Going to smaller socials is a good idea. As is having a social one/two on one/two. Taking things at your own pace. I don't feel bad or too weird now.
People are different in person to online. I find I warm far more easily to people in person, I guess I need that f2f interaction to establish if chemistry is there to some extent.
Yey I'm pleased it's not just me, weirdos unite!
I'm the same I can be attracted to pics but not on a sexual way just in a you look alright way, I need to meet and chat but then I feel bad saying sorry not for me after dragging it on in an attempt to get to know them better, but I don't know until I get to that point if they are or aren't for me.
I'm babbling now
Mrs "
And there maybe lies the problem.
Social with an expectation that by the end decision has to be made be made? . I’ve been on some really nice socials where the only expectation was to get to know them a little more , to meet because we use the same site and interact on the forums occasionally |
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"Hey Mrs Knight!
I've found that I struggle with it as well. I don't find myself attracted to people before I get to know them. I can think someone is attractive but I don't view them in a sexual light until there's that level of friendship there.
So I've accepted that. I've been trying to attend more socials. Being open and saying that I'd like to get to know a person more and explaining I'm a bit weird.
Going to smaller socials is a good idea. As is having a social one/two on one/two. Taking things at your own pace. I don't feel bad or too weird now.
People are different in person to online. I find I warm far more easily to people in person, I guess I need that f2f interaction to establish if chemistry is there to some extent.
Yey I'm pleased it's not just me, weirdos unite!
I'm the same I can be attracted to pics but not on a sexual way just in a you look alright way, I need to meet and chat but then I feel bad saying sorry not for me after dragging it on in an attempt to get to know them better, but I don't know until I get to that point if they are or aren't for me.
I'm babbling now
Mrs
And there maybe lies the problem.
Social with an expectation that by the end decision has to be made be made? . I’ve been on some really nice socials where the only expectation was to get to know them a little more , to meet because we use the same site and interact on the forums occasionally "
This is the only way we meet people from Fab. Always socially, coffee or a real drink, but not with the expectation of something more happening. We simply meet to see if we can be friends, and if we click then maybe we’ll meet again. Attraction comes over time. Sure some people are lovely to look at in photos, and maybe they have great personality if you’re chatting via messages, but pics and messages don’t mean a great deal until you meet face to face. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I too, struggle.
Often enough I find myself being attracted only to the living. I know, I know, there's a whole world of the undead and the nonliving, but I can't seem to find myself connecting at any level. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Attraction is easy, plenty of attractive women on here
But horrendous personality, entitlement and just rudeness ruins a good 90% of them "
Wow really.. 99.9% men are the above. |
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By *archelCouple
over a year ago
A field somewhere |
"So I'm wondering if there's any other weirdos like me who struggle with attraction on fab?
I need a personality and a face before I can even consider being attracted to someone, by pics it just doesn't work for me nor by online chat so I guess it kinda makes it impossible, I find people are different in person than online.
I can guage if I like the pics or not but it's tricky when you are someone that needs to know someone to find them attractive.
The group socials are much better for me, clubs don't really appeal much.
Maybe I'm just not attracted to anyone else at all or maybe it is just because I find it hard online...... I'm not sure.
Anyway what's your hints and tips to overcoming this?
Mrs "
Late to the party i know, but we enjoyed meeting both you and hubby, and glad you came over to say hello.
Unfortunately, because the social was so loud it made it difficult to have a good conversation. |
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I've found the longer I've been on here the less appeal people have
When I first joined 18 months or so ago, I was like a kid in a sweet shop, and a nice picture and a good chat would attract me. I find now it needs to be an in person thing, I definitely favour socials and clubs now but at the very least a video call to seeing if there's any chemistry first now
Mrs x |
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"Attraction is easy, plenty of attractive women on here
But horrendous personality, entitlement and just rudeness ruins a good 90% of them
Wow really.. 99.9% men are the above. "
.
Don't leave much leeway guys whatever you do! pt |
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"So I'm wondering if there's any other weirdos like me who struggle with attraction on fab?
I need a personality and a face before I can even consider being attracted to someone, by pics it just doesn't work for me nor by online chat so I guess it kinda makes it impossible, I find people are different in person than online.
I can guage if I like the pics or not but it's tricky when you are someone that needs to know someone to find them attractive.
The group socials are much better for me, clubs don't really appeal much.
Maybe I'm just not attracted to anyone else at all or maybe it is just because I find it hard online...... I'm not sure.
Anyway what's your hints and tips to overcoming this?
Mrs "
.
Have you heard of sapiosexualty? It's having to be intellectually stimulated to find someone sexual. It really is a thing, though some fabbers have been a bit sceptical about it in the past (it sounds a bit pretentious etc). But really, it's all out there in terms of sexuality. Some sapiosexuals just need something of a kick off, at the other end it's all about the mind and nothing else. I find I can be very sapiosexual when my imagination basically hasn't taken over and done the job for me!
pt |
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