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By *kmegood OP Woman
over a year ago
bradford/ halifax |
Does anyone have any tips for overcoming the anxiety of meeting new people?
I’m new to the site, great online messaging but I want to socialise more- attend clubs, parties etc I have attended the clubs and even a social but as a single found the majority were in couples and felt they just stick with other couples
I admit I rarely talk to people but I can’t get over the hurdle and it’s starting to get me down |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It can be like that at clubs sometimes but I think it's easier as a woman, people are more likely to approach so you're not on your own for long.
What works for me is taking breaks, like 5 minutes away in a quiet corner or the toilet just to recharge my social energy as it can be exhausting. Talk to people who give off good energy and have the ability to make you feel comfortable. Don't be afraid to shut down conversations quickly with people who make your anxiety worse.
The more parties you attend the easier it gets but don't be too hard on yourself. A lot of people feel the same in club situations so your not alone. Just be confident, take a breath and things will get better over time  |
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By *aiseiMan
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"Does anyone have any tips for overcoming the anxiety of meeting new people?
I’m new to the site, great online messaging but I want to socialise more- attend clubs, parties etc I have attended the clubs and even a social but as a single found the majority were in couples and felt they just stick with other couples
I admit I rarely talk to people but I can’t get over the hurdle and it’s starting to get me down"
It can be hard; I used to find it difficult to talk to people at times when I was younger, but late teens and twenties I started to get past it and thirties and forties I’ll pretty much approach and talk to anyone.
Unfortunately it’s just one of those things that you have to expose yourself too in order to get comfy with it…..it doesn’t get easier without the experience.
What I would say though I really try not to over-analyse situations; it’s very easy to convince yourself that someone else may be/is thinking this or that about you, but 99.9% of the time they simply aren’t…..they’re too busy thinking about all manner of other things.
Also, some people won’t engage….that’s just how it is and it’s not a reflection on you. Don’t take it personally because it won’t be (it can’t be if they don’t know you!)
So get out there, get on it and have a great time  |
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Start slow and small groups and then explore more as your confidence grows.
Can only speak from my own experience, but when I first visited Club F as a single guy, my anxiety was high. Thoughts were , everyone will know each other , I’m an outsider, I’ll be ignored, I’m nobody’s type, what if all the men are hung and so on. Reality was everyone was welcoming and up for a chat, it wasn’t a “closed clique” in any way.
As a woman I suspect you are even less likely to be ignored but don’t allow a desire to be accepted to suck you into anything you’re uncomfortable with. Be honest about what you’re looking for.
Good luck taking that first step. Love to hear how you get on  |
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